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(Hartford Courant)   This week's episode of "I forgot my baby in the hot car" is brought to you by Ridgefield, CT. No word yet on the parent's browser history   (courant.com) divider line 84
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3766 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2014 at 12:30 PM (7 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-09 09:51:53 AM
I'm as forgetful as one of those, uh, things with the, um, holes, but I can't possibly fathom forgetting a child in a car.  "Remembering"  becomes second nature with a child, you just don't think about it.  It's not as if you're getting 10 steps from the car and going "Oh.  Right.  The child.  Silly me".
 
2014-07-09 12:31:39 PM
Jesus, once upon a time you could make a mistake without everyone coming down on you like you're some kind of criminal.
 
2014-07-09 12:36:25 PM
The cause of death has not been determined.

Tater-tot dad?
 
2014-07-09 12:36:40 PM
I just going to leave this alone, I don't have a kid yet but I may some day, and I don't need that karma.  It seems hard to believe it can happen, but as someone who goes on autopilot in the mornings if I were a dad who never took my kid to day care and one day was asked to, we'll I can see how it's possible I guess.
 
2014-07-09 12:37:37 PM
The cause of death has not been determined.

I'll take "it was FARKING hot" for $300, Alex.
 
2014-07-09 12:38:00 PM
Ridgefield?  Might as well leave the kid in the car. Safer than sending it to the Sandy Hook grade school.
 
2014-07-09 12:38:53 PM

I_Am_Weasel: I'm as forgetful as one of those, uh, things with the, um, holes, but I can't possibly fathom forgetting a child in a car.  "Remembering"  becomes second nature with a child, you just don't think about it.  It's not as if you're getting 10 steps from the car and going "Oh.  Right.  The child.  Silly me".


You'd like to think that's the case, but it's been routinely proven that a goodly number of parents don't actually have the faculties to secure the survival of their progeny.

It used to happen all the time.

t.qkme.me
 
2014-07-09 12:39:17 PM
Manslaughter charge.  book it. done.

Also, You can't spell "manslaughter" without "laughter"
 
2014-07-09 12:40:26 PM
For some reason this was always my fear that I would leave the kids in the car, so I have OCD about checking the back seats.  My kids are teenagers and I still do the walk around the car every time I park.
 
2014-07-09 12:40:45 PM
 
2014-07-09 12:40:49 PM

boyvoyeur: The cause of death has not been determined.

I'll take "it was FARKING hot" for $300, Alex.


Probably want to make sure the baby wasn't dead from some other cause before hand.
 
2014-07-09 12:40:50 PM
that have put a spotlight on the danger of leaving children inside hot vehicles.

If you don't know you shouldn't do that, you're to farking stupid to live let alone have children. I hope he dies of ass cancer.
 
2014-07-09 12:41:34 PM
I'm a stay at home dad so I ALWAYS had my two kids in the car.  And on the rare occasion I didn't, I would always freak out when I looked in the rearview mirror and they weren't there.

It would be like a second of panic before I realized they were with mom.

Even now that they're teenagers I still have those moments of "should they be with me right now?"
 
2014-07-09 12:41:57 PM
There is no test to become a parent.

Not to threadjack, but this is one of the reasons I'm pro choice. If a person believes they are too irresponsible to be a parent -believe them!
 
2014-07-09 12:42:08 PM

I_Am_Weasel: I'm as forgetful as one of those, uh, things with the, um, holes, but I can't possibly fathom forgetting a child in a car.  "Remembering"  becomes second nature with a child, you just don't think about it.  It's not as if you're getting 10 steps from the car and going "Oh.  Right.  The child.  Silly me".


I remember this happening out in silicon valley during the dotcom boom. Wife and husband poorly communicate, wife puts sleeping baby in car seat. It is the husbands turn to take the baby to daycare. Husband drives to the office. Works the morning through. I still think about that poor couple. Just devastating.
 
2014-07-09 12:45:07 PM

MBooda: Ridgefield?  Might as well leave the kid in the car. Safer than sending it to the Sandy Hook grade school.


Ridgefield isn't that bad, it just looks bad compared to it's 1%er neighbors
 
2014-07-09 12:45:22 PM
Finally, parents are getting back at their children for all those times that those kids have left us trapped inside a rowdy Chuck E. Cheese with no hope of getting out anytime soon or leaving with our souls intact.
 
2014-07-09 12:47:06 PM

Private_Citizen: There is no test to become a parent.

Not to threadjack, but this is one of the reasons I'm pro choice. If a person believes they are too irresponsible to be a parent -believe them!


I agree with you 100%.
 
2014-07-09 12:47:21 PM

MBooda: Ridgefield?  Might as well leave the kid in the car. Safer than sending it to the Sandy Hook grade school.


Ridgefield, I'm surprised they didn't have two nannies for the kid
 
2014-07-09 12:47:21 PM
Come on!

We have key finders and dog trackers.

Can't someone make a GPS/911/Temperature alarm for kids?

I'm not asking for it to be surgically implanted in the brain...
(However, Pit bulls should have one with an off/self-destruct mode put in their heart.)
.. but attached somewhere where it can't be removed until
(age to be determined later.).

Being stupid or forgetful shouldn't kill your kid and/or send you to jail.
 
2014-07-09 12:47:28 PM
Ban all heats
 
2014-07-09 12:48:12 PM

Klivian: MBooda: Ridgefield?  Might as well leave the kid in the car. Safer than sending it to the Sandy Hook grade school.

Ridgefield isn't that bad, it just looks bad compared to it's 1%er neighbors


Uhhhh what the shiat are you talking about. Danbury?
 
2014-07-09 12:48:43 PM

I_Am_Weasel: I'm as forgetful as one of those, uh, things with the, um, holes, but I can't possibly fathom forgetting a child in a car.  "Remembering"  becomes second nature with a child, you just don't think about it.  It's not as if you're getting 10 steps from the car and going "Oh.  Right.  The child.  Silly me".


I don't know. If the kid falls asleep maybe you can forget if its not part of your ordinary routine.

Maybe this guy usually didn't have the kid in his car in the morning, had to take him for some reason the other day, and just went to work on autopilot like one normally does.

Assuming this isn't intentional like the other one, I can't imagine going on if I was that dad. Would probably kill myself. How awful.
 
2014-07-09 12:52:58 PM

I_Am_Weasel: I'm as forgetful as one of those, uh, things with the, um, holes, but I can't possibly fathom forgetting a child in a car.  "Remembering"  becomes second nature with a child, you just don't think about it.  It's not as if you're getting 10 steps from the car and going "Oh.  Right.  The child.  Silly me".


You should read this heartbreaking and yet eye-opening article that talks about that. It examines what exactly happens to the brain when people forget, and why it happens. It's tragic primarily because it could happen to anyone.

The article is hard to read, but it's worth it to gain a better understanding of how this occurs.
 
2014-07-09 12:55:53 PM

lexnaturalis: I_Am_Weasel: I'm as forgetful as one of those, uh, things with the, um, holes, but I can't possibly fathom forgetting a child in a car.  "Remembering"  becomes second nature with a child, you just don't think about it.  It's not as if you're getting 10 steps from the car and going "Oh.  Right.  The child.  Silly me".

You should read this heartbreaking and yet eye-opening article that talks about that. It examines what exactly happens to the brain when people forget, and why it happens. It's tragic primarily because it could happen to anyone.

The article is hard to read, but it's worth it to gain a better understanding of how this occurs.


Stupid me, I should not have read that. Going to hug the kiddo extra long tonight.
 
2014-07-09 12:56:00 PM

doubled99: Jesus, once upon a time you could make a mistake without everyone coming down on you like you're some kind of criminal.


Yeah, it sucks that it is so hard to get away with negligently killing people these days. Being held responsible for your actions is just unAmerican.
 
2014-07-09 12:57:30 PM

CruJones: I just going to leave this alone, I don't have a kid yet but I may some day, and I don't need that karma.  It seems hard to believe it can happen, but as someone who goes on autopilot in the mornings if I were a dad who never took my kid to day care and one day was asked to, we'll I can see how it's possible I guess.


Exactly how I feel.  Wife and I are planning on kids, and I know that I am super-duper autopilot-driven and this thought scares me to death.  Hopefully, this will translate into me being hyper-vigilant, but I'm still concerned.
 
2014-07-09 12:58:36 PM
Jesus, once upon a time you could make a mistake without everyone coming down on you like you're some kind of criminal.

Yeah, it sucks that it is so hard to get away with negligently killing people these days. Being held responsible for your actions is just unAmerican.



Like you've never made a mistake.
 
2014-07-09 12:59:15 PM

fiddlehead: Stupid me, I should not have read that. Going to hug the kiddo extra long tonight.


Yeah, it really stuck with me. It opened my eyes, but it was also horrifying at the same time.
 
2014-07-09 01:02:04 PM

doubled99: Jesus, once upon a time you could make a mistake without everyone coming down on you like you're some kind of criminal.

Yeah, it sucks that it is so hard to get away with negligently killing people these days. Being held responsible for your actions is just unAmerican.


Like you've never made a mistake.


I have, in fact, never killed anybody by mistake. I must be lucky. Or maybe just not as retarded as you.
 
2014-07-09 01:02:15 PM
This case is one of three in the state in two days that have put a spotlight on the danger of leaving children inside hot vehicles.

If leaving children inside a vehicle on a hot day is bad, then surely shining a spotlight on them is going to be worse.
 
2014-07-09 01:05:22 PM

lexnaturalis: I_Am_Weasel: I'm as forgetful as one of those, uh, things with the, um, holes, but I can't possibly fathom forgetting a child in a car.  "Remembering"  becomes second nature with a child, you just don't think about it.  It's not as if you're getting 10 steps from the car and going "Oh.  Right.  The child.  Silly me".

You should read this heartbreaking and yet eye-opening article that talks about that. It examines what exactly happens to the brain when people forget, and why it happens. It's tragic primarily because it could happen to anyone.

The article is hard to read, but it's worth it to gain a better understanding of how this occurs.


It happened to me once. It turned out alright in the end, though. It was winter, he slept through the 20 minutes til I remembered him, I put away the groceries, got half the living room vacuumed, went Oh shiat,where's the kid??  Still sound asleep in back of the car, in the driveway in the back of the house. All bundled up. And I never did it again.
So when I read about one of these little kids that boils to death I think There but for the grace of God....
 
2014-07-09 01:05:34 PM

doubled99: Jesus, once upon a time you could make a mistake without everyone coming down on you like you're some kind of criminal.


Some mistakes are worse than others.  Like, say, the mistakes WHERE ANOTHER PERSON DIES BECAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS.

\criminal negligence IS a crime
\\I think we found the shiatty parent in the thread
 
2014-07-09 01:06:50 PM
i blame car seats and in a sense I'm serious.  Put the kid in the front seat and odds are this never happens. require the kid to be in the rear seat and the little tyke is strapped in and bored so falls asleep and not bugging mom and dad.

Even Great parents forget their kids but thankfully they remember in time before any harm comes to the child. It happens
 
2014-07-09 01:07:10 PM

Weidbrewer: CruJones: I just going to leave this alone, I don't have a kid yet but I may some day, and I don't need that karma.  It seems hard to believe it can happen, but as someone who goes on autopilot in the mornings if I were a dad who never took my kid to day care and one day was asked to, we'll I can see how it's possible I guess.

Exactly how I feel.  Wife and I are planning on kids, and I know that I am super-duper autopilot-driven and this thought scares me to death.  Hopefully, this will translate into me being hyper-vigilant, but I'm still concerned.


You have to get in the habit, long before baby comes, of checking the back of the car every time you exit. Every time. Keys out, look over shoulder, open door. If you make that the thing you do, every time, it will become your autopilot response.
 
2014-07-09 01:08:05 PM

doubled99: Jesus, once upon a time you could make a mistake without everyone coming down on you like you're some kind of criminal.

Yeah, it sucks that it is so hard to get away with negligently killing people these days. Being held responsible for your actions is just unAmerican.


Like you've never made a mistake.


Mistakes are for bumbling idiots, such as yourself.

\all the children I've killed have been on purpose
 
2014-07-09 01:10:05 PM
Also, set it up with the daycare that if you're child isn't there by whatever time and you have not called them in sick, you get a call.
 
2014-07-09 01:14:56 PM

namegoeshere: Also, set it up with the daycare that if you're child isn't there by whatever time and you have not called them in sick, you get a call.


This. I've kept my 4yo home sick twice while forgetting to call and both times they called me within an hour of her drop off time.
 
2014-07-09 01:20:06 PM

CruJones: I just going to leave this alone, I don't have a kid yet but I may some day, and I don't need that karma.  It seems hard to believe it can happen, but as someone who goes on autopilot in the mornings if I were a dad who never took my kid to day care and one day was asked to, we'll I can see how it's possible I guess.


Lack of sleep.

Closest I ever got to something like this was driving somewhere with the kid and I thought about heading to a second place (fast food maybe?)  After about a minute of driving towards my secondary destination I "remembered" that I couldn't go there because the kid was in the back seat;and even that was kinda scary.  I can understand someone forgetting in a hurried, confused situation, and since memory is location based (cool study, look it up), once someone forgets about the kid long enough to leave their car (like heading into work) then it gets more unlikely that they will remember anytime soon.  Sometimes it's stupidity...but sometimes it's horrible random luck of random brain activity.
 
2014-07-09 01:29:31 PM

lexnaturalis: I_Am_Weasel: I'm as forgetful as one of those, uh, things with the, um, holes, but I can't possibly fathom forgetting a child in a car.  "Remembering"  becomes second nature with a child, you just don't think about it.  It's not as if you're getting 10 steps from the car and going "Oh.  Right.  The child.  Silly me".

You should read this heartbreaking and yet eye-opening article that talks about that. It examines what exactly happens to the brain when people forget, and why it happens. It's tragic primarily because it could happen to anyone.

The article is hard to read, but it's worth it to gain a better understanding of how this occurs.


OMG - you were right.  That was so damned heartbreaking.  I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. I am forgetful and am just glad that my daughter is grown and her carseat was usually beside me and never rear facing...I just really want to cry after reading that.
 
2014-07-09 01:32:51 PM

thecpt: MBooda: Ridgefield?  Might as well leave the kid in the car. Safer than sending it to the Sandy Hook grade school.

Ridgefield, I'm surprised they didn't have two nannies for the kid


This. My feiend used to teach at RA, and you could tell there was some serious money out there.

\except for widening the 12 ft wide road that I used for a shortcut to get there, can't afford that
 
2014-07-09 01:52:03 PM
Just always keep your briefcase/purse/essential item in the backseat, kid or no.  That way you ALWAYS have to go to the backseat before leaving the car.
 
2014-07-09 01:52:36 PM

Wild Eyed and Wicked: OMG - you were right.  That was so damned heartbreaking.  I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. I am forgetful and am just glad that my daughter is grown and her carseat was usually beside me and never rear facing...I just really want to cry after reading that.


I admit that I cried. Since my daughter is still in a carseat I just couldn't stop thinking about her and being one of those parents.
 
2014-07-09 01:55:52 PM

jayessell: Come on!

We have key finders and dog trackers.

Can't someone make a GPS/911/Temperature alarm for kids?

I'm not asking for it to be surgically implanted in the brain...
(However, Pit bulls should have one with an off/self-destruct mode put in their heart.)
.. but attached somewhere where it can't be removed until
(age to be determined later.).

Being stupid or forgetful shouldn't kill your kid and/or send you to jail.


http://www.backseatbabyalarm.com/Field-Test.html

It exists. People just don't think it can happen to them.
 
2014-07-09 01:57:01 PM
Not the same thing, but similar situation(s)... What is the concensus/verdict/punishment for leaving your car running (locked) with a kid inside while you run into a store for 10-15 minutes? Does it make a difference if it is a liquor store, but you have not been drinking... does if make a differnce if you are .05 BAC and going into a convience store for smokes?

/opinions please
 
2014-07-09 01:57:32 PM

jayessell: Come on!

We have key finders and dog trackers.

Can't someone make a GPS/911/Temperature alarm for kids?

I'm not asking for it to be surgically implanted in the brain...
(However, Pit bulls should have one with an off/self-destruct mode put in their heart.)
.. but attached somewhere where it can't be removed until
(age to be determined later.).

Being stupid or forgetful shouldn't kill your kid and/or send you to jail.


The typical factor that links accidents of this sort is a lack of sleep, which can significantly impair your ability to function.  Then again, so does alcohol, and we routinely bring criminal charges against drunk/sleepy drivers.  Seems like a useful parallel to me.

/You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your kids.
 
2014-07-09 01:59:12 PM
yeah, you should pretty much have your testicles removed for this.
You probably wouldn't forget with the next kid you had.
 
2014-07-09 02:01:29 PM

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: CruJones: I just going to leave this alone, I don't have a kid yet but I may some day, and I don't need that karma.  It seems hard to believe it can happen, but as someone who goes on autopilot in the mornings if I were a dad who never took my kid to day care and one day was asked to, we'll I can see how it's possible I guess.

Lack of sleep.

Closest I ever got to something like this was driving somewhere with the kid and I thought about heading to a second place (fast food maybe?)  After about a minute of driving towards my secondary destination I "remembered" that I couldn't go there because the kid was in the back seat;and even that was kinda scary.  I can understand someone forgetting in a hurried, confused situation, and since memory is location based (cool study, look it up), once someone forgets about the kid long enough to leave their car (like heading into work) then it gets more unlikely that they will remember anytime soon.  Sometimes it's stupidity...but sometimes it's horrible random luck of random brain activity.


Lack of sleep isn't random.  It's caused by controllable factors, and you are always aware of how tired you are.  Parents who don't provide for their own physical/emotional needs are putting their children at risk by impairing their ability to care for them.

/CSB: My "moment of terror" was waking up from a nap and not seeing my daughter in her cradle next to me.  I freaked the hell out until I remembered that my wife had picked her up and taken her out somewhere before I fell asleep.
//Sleep: we needs it.
 
2014-07-09 02:03:17 PM
kids die in winter too when parents turn the car on and strap the kid in and clear the snow off the car but the exhaust is plugged by a drift and then the kid dies of monoxide poisoning. up here in canada it happens a lot
 
2014-07-09 02:08:00 PM
And you know, I hate to say this, because it's totally conjecture and unfairly generalizing, but... I will bet $100 bucks that none of these parents left their smartphones in the car those days.
 
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