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(Stuff.co.nz)   Relationship experts say that having sex on the first date is often like two Dickens novels - Great Expectations and Hard Times   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 25
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1166 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Jul 2014 at 11:00 AM (3 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



25 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-09 09:16:02 AM
Or it could be A Tale of Two Pities.
 
2014-07-09 09:30:16 AM
it was the best of times, it was the quickest of times
 
2014-07-09 10:57:46 AM
C'mon, don't be a Scrooge. Let's go to the Old Curiosity Shop and I'll show you my Pickwick Club. You can teach me the Oliver Twist.
 
2014-07-09 11:08:43 AM
More like Mellville. Thar she blows.
 
2014-07-09 11:09:16 AM
It is a far better thing I do than I have ever done before. It is a far greater rest I go to than I have ever known.

Now, can you make me a sammich?
 
2014-07-09 11:10:37 AM
Having sex is how I determine that it was, in fact, a date.
 
2014-07-09 11:11:50 AM
It's quite amazing that in this day and age we still have a double standard when it comes to having sex on a first date. If a male does it, he is called a stud; if a woman does it, she is called a slut.

Is this really still going on? It felt like it was starting to fade when I was coming of age. I figured that by now young people would be a lot more laid back about casual encounters and women's sexuality.
 
hej
2014-07-09 11:13:05 AM

Sybarite: Is this really still going on?


No.  If a male does it, he is called a stud.  If a female does it, she is called "popular".
 
2014-07-09 11:19:30 AM
Whatever.  Do what thou wilt.  So mete it be.
 
2014-07-09 11:26:29 AM

Sybarite: It's quite amazing that in this day and age we still have a double standard when it comes to having sex on a first date. If a male does it, he is called a stud; if a woman does it, she is called a slut.

Is this really still going on? It felt like it was starting to fade when I was coming of age. I figured that by now young people would be a lot more laid back about casual encounters and women's sexuality.


On the one hand, the only people I ever hear saying that are the people protesting that it's still a thing. On the other, there is still a strong "protect the chastity of my 6-year-old!" streak in this country (to say nothing of greater abuses elsewhere).

Meanwhile, most of my married friends farked their future spouses on the first (or second) date anyway, if not before. So even if it is still a thing, it appears it's not enough of a thing to affect anyone's behavior (in my small sample).
 
2014-07-09 11:30:39 AM
More like Bleak House around here.
 
2014-07-09 11:32:05 AM
Knickerless Knickleby?
 
2014-07-09 11:41:34 AM

Dr Dreidel: Sybarite: It's quite amazing that in this day and age we still have a double standard when it comes to having sex on a first date. If a male does it, he is called a stud; if a woman does it, she is called a slut.

Is this really still going on? It felt like it was starting to fade when I was coming of age. I figured that by now young people would be a lot more laid back about casual encounters and women's sexuality.

On the one hand, the only people I ever hear saying that are the people protesting that it's still a thing. On the other, there is still a strong "protect the chastity of my 6-year-old!" streak in this country (to say nothing of greater abuses elsewhere).

Meanwhile, most of my married friends farked their future spouses on the first (or second) date anyway, if not before. So even if it is still a thing, it appears it's not enough of a thing to affect anyone's behavior (in my small sample).


I think it varies. My personal experience has been that if a woman has sex on the first date, and she seems to have a lot of first dates in a relatively short period of time, say 2-3 a week somewhat regularly with different people, people tend to call her a slut. But if these first dates are spread out more and she sleeps with a guy for a while then they break up and a few weeks later she does the same thing with someone else it's not considered as bad. It gets a bit murkier with friends with benefits situations.

As far as guys go, they're often considered a stud, but also considered a man whore one unprotected encounter away from having their junk rot off or getting saddled with child support.

The community I grew up in was so confused...
 
2014-07-09 11:44:44 AM
Sex on the first date is how she gets my attention.
Too old to be waiting around for her to make up her mind.
Also if she is not having sex with you, she is likely having sex with someone else. So if she won't she is cheating.
 
2014-07-09 11:52:36 AM
Date? Sex?
 
2014-07-09 11:56:23 AM

Dr Dreidel: On the one hand, the only people I ever hear saying that are the people protesting that it's still a thing. On the other, there is still a strong "protect the chastity of my 6-year-old!" streak in this country (to say nothing of greater abuses elsewhere).


The way I see it, it is still a thing because people keep saying it is still a thing. By constantly reminding people of old values that have been cast aside by huge amounts of the population (I have never heard anyone call a woman a slut for having sex on the first date) those values never completely disappear. It will turn into one of those "I don't think so but most people still do" despite most people not thinking that either
 
2014-07-09 11:59:38 AM

Dingleberry Dickwad: My personal experience has been that if a woman has sex on the first date, and she seems to have a lot of first dates in a relatively short period of time, say 2-3 a week somewhat regularly with different people, people tend to call her a slut. But if these first dates are spread out more and she sleeps with a guy for a while then they break up and a few weeks later she does the same thing with someone else it's not considered as bad. It gets a bit murkier with friends with benefits situations.

As far as guys go, they're often considered a stud, but also considered a man whore one unprotected encounter away from having their junk rot off or getting saddled with child support.


Sounds about right. I actually see more people look down on "manwhores" (including former manwhores) than I do looking down on "sluts". Most of the time (again YMMV), we feel sorry for the woman having loveless sex (assuming she's either a nympho or using sex/partners to get what she wants - there are easier ways, honey), while ridiculing the man for (we assume) only wanting loveless sex.

Maybe that's the issue? That "we" see their motivations differently?
 
2014-07-09 12:00:07 PM
David Itchyballs
 
2014-07-09 12:21:39 PM

hej: Sybarite: Is this really still going on?

No.  If a male does it, he is called a stud.  If a female does it, she is called "popular".


Or "Kim Kardashian"
 
2014-07-09 12:35:53 PM

Dr Dreidel: while ridiculing the man for (we assume) only wanting loveless sex.


I see this more, as well, where the only folks who think highly of studs are other folks who want to be seen as studs. I simply do not have the circle of friends where any discussion of first dates would be focused on whether or not sex happened. The rest of us might pity a girl who makes herself too physically available to every interested man rather than try to exploit this. Course, this is a rather sexist perspective based on the idea any male seeking out loveless sex made this decision of sound mind whereas any female has some fundamental problem which leads her to this; however, I should note 'too physically available' is not the same as 'sex on the first date' or similar.
 
2014-07-09 12:56:30 PM
Does it count as a date if you leave money on the side table after you're done?
 
2014-07-09 01:45:13 PM
That's silly. Don't date someone until you're having sex with them.
 
2014-07-09 02:23:34 PM
The only people looking down on those who have sex on the first date, are people who don't have sex at all.
They should be pitied.  So sorry.  Wipe the crust off of your private bits, and go find some action you inverts.
 
2014-07-09 02:24:47 PM
Nobody's Fault?
 
2014-07-09 02:26:31 PM
Tharls Wickennnnqs?
 
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