Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Masseur charged with rubbing a woman the wrong way   (startribune.com) divider line 37
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

6233 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jul 2014 at 10:21 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-08 09:38:59 PM  
There might be a time when a woman getting a massage might entertain an innocent fantasy about a male massage therapist. If I had to take a guess, I would bet damn good money that this guy doesn't look anything like the young, muscular male model that might appear in a fantasy like that.
 
2014-07-08 10:22:35 PM  
One who sues mas?
 
2014-07-08 10:24:54 PM  
Meanwhile, Chinese women across America are being arrested for rubbing men the right way.
 
2014-07-08 10:27:14 PM  
oh c'mon.  she was dressed in a bed sheet for Pete's sake.  She was asking for it!
 
2014-07-08 10:27:17 PM  
Man, she got fondled for free? The ladies at the massage parlor I go to always charge an extra $50 for that.
 
2014-07-08 10:31:13 PM  
the stuff you find on xvideos is not a documentary or a how-to
 
2014-07-08 10:32:29 PM  

sprong89: There might be a time when a woman getting a massage might entertain an innocent fantasy about a male massage therapist. If I had to take a guess, I would bet damn good money that this guy doesn't look anything like the young, muscular male model that might appear in a fantasy like that.


Yeah. Somehow I doubt her masseuse fantasy involved some 58-year-old named "Wade".
 
2014-07-08 10:33:05 PM  
The woman began the session on her stomach, then was directed by Wutschke to turn onto her back. He removed a sheet that was covering her breasts. She pulled it back up, but he lowered it again and fondled her breasts.

It's like this woman has never seen massage porn before, that's how they always start.
 
2014-07-08 10:33:19 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-07-08 10:34:50 PM  
Mass U'er charged with what?

I thought they were all U Mass Debaters...
 
2014-07-08 10:37:19 PM  
cdn.memegenerator.net
 
2014-07-08 10:39:25 PM  
Cpould probably only get as far as the "F" spot.
 
2014-07-08 10:39:48 PM  
Maybe he just thought she was good lookin' wool?
 
2014-07-08 10:48:00 PM  
no happy ending?

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-08 10:50:31 PM  
I've seen this video. The best was the female masseuse with the female client. They played it completely straight the whole way, no "oh now we're gonna fark" switch up.

Julia Child knows her way around a chicken, I tell you what.
 
2014-07-08 10:51:06 PM  
Nipples.
 
2014-07-08 10:52:58 PM  
Didn't read the article, is this an ad for farked hard 18?
 
2014-07-08 11:00:04 PM  
Here we go again. She thought she could use a coupon and was told no. So she makes up a story and an innocent man goes down. She's a coont, all she needs to do is make up a story and a man gets a rapid mock trial before going to jail considered guilty the millisecond the coont told her tall tale. Or she found out he might have money she could steal using failed courts which are misandric in their very existence.

I call bullshiat.
 
2014-07-08 11:00:31 PM  
"A St. Anthony masseur fondled a female client during a session that ended with him placing a finger to his lips and telling her to "shhhhh,"... 

This story started so good and just went downhill from there.
 
2014-07-08 11:05:41 PM  

Abaddon The Despoiler: Here we go again. She thought she could use a coupon and was told no. So she makes up a story and an innocent man goes down. She's a coont, all she needs to do is make up a story and a man gets a rapid mock trial before going to jail considered guilty the millisecond the coont told her tall tale. Or she found out he might have money she could steal using failed courts which are misandric in their very existence.

I call bullshiat.


img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-08 11:09:27 PM  
It's a place called Tropical Treat Massage, so they specialize in happy ending type massages. She must have been expecting some kind of therapeutic sports massage or something. She's an idiot.
 
2014-07-08 11:13:04 PM  

BalugaJoe: Nipples.


They make a valid point.
 
2014-07-08 11:21:26 PM  

Russ1642: It's a place called Tropical Treat Massage, so they specialize in happy ending type massages.


Otherwise known as prostitution.
 
2014-07-08 11:31:17 PM  
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-07-08 11:48:03 PM  
So grabbing a pair of breasts in Henny Penny's District Court is now against the law?  Man!  Don't even let Humpty Dumpty near that place!
 
2014-07-08 11:48:09 PM  

sprong89: There might be a time when a woman getting a massage might entertain an innocent fantasy about a male massage therapist. If I had to take a guess, I would bet damn good money that this guy doesn't look anything like the young, muscular male model that might appear in a fantasy like that.


I have a friend who's a massage therapist.  One time, he admitted, "I've considered what I would charge for sex."  And he does look like what I assume women imagine in that fantasy.  Nobody asked what amount he arrived at or how often the fee has been collected.
 
2014-07-08 11:55:31 PM  
Client: What are you doing?
Masseur: Adjusting your breasts. You fainted and they... shifted all outta whack. There.
 
2014-07-09 12:03:11 AM  

sprong89: There might be a time when a woman getting a massage might entertain an innocent fantasy about a male massage therapist. If I had to take a guess, I would bet damn good money that this guy doesn't look anything like the young, muscular male model that might appear in a fantasy like that.


"Ssshhhhhh..."
i1.sndcdn.com
 
2014-07-09 12:06:23 AM  
Another shot of Wade, from the tits' POV...

lh5.googleusercontent.com

/I bet a dollar that he's listening to Blurred Lines on those headphones
 
2014-07-09 12:09:27 AM  

jtown: sprong89: There might be a time when a woman getting a massage might entertain an innocent fantasy about a male massage therapist. If I had to take a guess, I would bet damn good money that this guy doesn't look anything like the young, muscular male model that might appear in a fantasy like that.

I have a friend who's a massage therapist.  One time, he admitted, "I've considered what I would charge for sex."  And he does look like what I assume women imagine in that fantasy.  Nobody asked what amount he arrived at or how often the fee has been collected.


And when it gets around that he provides happy ending massages most of the people coming to him for those will be men.
 
2014-07-09 03:25:29 AM  
Now that puts a different spin on "rubbing one out".
 
2014-07-09 03:48:26 AM  
I like how he didn't even deny it
 
2014-07-09 04:46:51 AM  
What, no creampie?
 
2014-07-09 07:01:47 AM  

Russ1642: It's a place called Tropical Treat Massage, so they specialize in happy ending type massages. She must have been expecting some kind of therapeutic sports massage or something. She's an idiot.


I read that as Tropical Teat Massage.
 
2014-07-09 07:18:58 AM  

peachpicker: Another shot of Wade, from the tits' POV...



/I bet a dollar that he's listening to Blurred Lines on those headphones


LOL, thanks for the image and soundtrack to this story!
 
2014-07-09 12:25:10 PM  
If he ask if you want the "love oil". Just say no.
 
2014-07-09 03:22:18 PM  
Anyone here ever get a happy ending?  How does that work exactly?  Do they just outright offer it?
 
Displayed 37 of 37 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report