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(Onion AV Club)   Physics proves that Legolas was a filthy elven liar   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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6443 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Jul 2014 at 4:45 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-07-08 05:03:09 PM  
4 votes:

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Elves have elvish eyes. They are imbued with special powers.

Look!  Look with your elvish eyes!
2014-07-08 01:44:20 PM  
4 votes:
2014-07-08 05:57:04 PM  
2 votes:

Khazar-Khum: Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.

It's adorable when they think on something other than gold.  Back to your mines with you, the big people are talking.
2014-07-08 03:00:49 PM  
2 votes:
I bet a red sky at dawn doesn't even correlate to prior blood spillage.

I don't know what to believe anymore.
2014-07-08 09:02:03 PM  
1 vote:

What about Legolam and Gimlet (son of Groin)?  Will they be able to help Arrowroot save Moxie and Pepsi from the narcs?
2014-07-08 08:29:57 PM  
1 vote:
Okay, first of all...elves weren't magical creatures.  They were the firstborn of Iluvatar, and were gifted with having a more fundamental connection with the "stuff" of Middle-Earth.  This manifested itself in many ways, like their immortality (except through violence or "giving up"), the ability to walk on snow, their ability to go without what we'd call sleep, and through their keener eyesight (both at distance and in the dark).  And in what we'd refer to as "magic"...but what was really just an ability to mold matter and energy through non-mechanical means.

It also meant that their individual fates are inextricably tied to the fate of the world, and as such they have no hope of the freedom that death may bring.  And that what choices they make ostensibly out of free will will *always* still come around to carrying out the will of Iluvatar and the fulfillment of the Ainulindale (the Song of the Valar).  They are the ultimate tragic figures (in the classical sense of the word) because every attempt to avoid their fates only helps to bring it about.

And yes, I *hated* the movies.  Partly for the plot rewrites, partly for the character assassination of Faramir, partly because they actually had Aragorn get wounded...but mostly because Tolkien's magic is not the magic of CGI.  It's so much simpler...

/yes, I'm a Tolkien nerd.
//no, I'm not apologetic about it
2014-07-08 05:37:24 PM  
1 vote:
Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.
2014-07-08 05:12:57 PM  
1 vote:
2014-07-08 02:28:06 PM  
1 vote:

Blues_X: The "Legoloss" pronunciation was really bothering me.

Stan: What did your hero Legoman ever win?
Steve: It's Legolas. You mispronounce it just to aggravate me. Ooh I am steaming, boy!
2014-07-08 01:32:36 PM  
1 vote:
He can still walk on top of snow, never ages and has that never-ending supply of never-miss arrows though, right?
2014-07-08 01:25:27 PM  
1 vote:
Physics proves that fictional character in a fictional world wouldn't work in non-fictional world.
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