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(Onion AV Club)   Physics proves that Legolas was a filthy elven liar   (avclub.com) divider line 83
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6359 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Jul 2014 at 4:45 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-08 01:25:27 PM  
Physics proves that fictional character in a fictional world wouldn't work in non-fictional world.
 
2014-07-08 01:27:27 PM  
Also, elves aren't real and middle earth isn't a place.
 
2014-07-08 01:32:36 PM  
He can still walk on top of snow, never ages and has that never-ending supply of never-miss arrows though, right?
 
2014-07-08 01:35:35 PM  
The "Legoloss" pronunciation was really bothering me.
 
2014-07-08 01:41:21 PM  
How far could Sauron's eye see?  Try to calculate that, nerds!
 
2014-07-08 01:41:23 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Physics proves that fictional character in a fictional world wouldn't work in non-fictional world.


In all fairness, the LotR universe is supposed to be our own universe, just from a prior age. If fundamental properties of light differed between that age and our own, then the world really was quite different.

(Of course the actual point is to do a small physics lesson in the guise of analyzing a fictional claim, but I'm sure it's more fun to shout "OMG, it's just a story, you nerds!")
 
2014-07-08 01:44:20 PM  
heahea.org
 
2014-07-08 02:00:34 PM  

Ennuipoet: [heahea.org image 720x479]


Came to say this.
 
2014-07-08 02:14:39 PM  
But are they taking the hobbits to Isengard?
 
2014-07-08 02:28:06 PM  

Blues_X: The "Legoloss" pronunciation was really bothering me.

 2.bp.blogspot.com


Stan: What did your hero Legoman ever win?
Steve: It's Legolas. You mispronounce it just to aggravate me. Ooh I am steaming, boy!
 
2014-07-08 03:00:49 PM  
I bet a red sky at dawn doesn't even correlate to prior blood spillage.

I don't know what to believe anymore.
 
2014-07-08 03:45:27 PM  
I knew it. I knew it all along. Gimli was right not to trust that stinking, good for nothing Elf. Dwarfs rule! Mom, if anyone calls I'll be in the Mines of Moria. Gee whiz, okay, okay, I'll be in the basement.
 
2014-07-08 04:54:11 PM  
Elves have elvish eyes. They are imbued with special powers.
 
2014-07-08 05:03:09 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Elves have elvish eyes. They are imbued with special powers.


www.nobullcraft.com

Look!  Look with your elvish eyes!
 
2014-07-08 05:07:34 PM  
Legless Lego Legolas's Legless Lass does not approve of these lies
 
2014-07-08 05:11:14 PM  
But the following video, produced by popular YouTube channel MinutePhysics, makes it clear that, thanks to the way light diffracts when it enters the eye, the son of Thranduil is clearly fibbing about his ocular prowess-or possibly, that elves in Middle-earth can see UV radiation.

Didn't one of the the versions of D&D make this claim?
 
2014-07-08 05:12:57 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-07-08 05:18:03 PM  

flondrix: But the following video, produced by popular YouTube channel MinutePhysics, makes it clear that, thanks to the way light diffracts when it enters the eye, the son of Thranduil is clearly fibbing about his ocular prowess-or possibly, that elves in Middle-earth can see UV radiation.

Didn't one of the the versions of D&D make this claim?


Yes... Elves have enhanced vision ins pretty much EVERY edition.

I think they do in tollkien's books as well.
 
2014-07-08 05:20:26 PM  
Elves are naturally magical creatures. Since that variable can't be taken into consideration, it must therefore be concluded that his eye sight and its corresponding capabilities are tied with that frame of reference.

Also, it's fiction.
 
2014-07-08 05:36:18 PM  
He isn't seeing them so much as registering their associated Dark Energy displacement signatures. Everyone knows Dark Energy waves do not refract over distance, as they arrive before they are sent.
 
2014-07-08 05:37:24 PM  
Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.
 
2014-07-08 05:38:15 PM  

Khazar-Khum: Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.


That's speciesist.
 
2014-07-08 05:41:35 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: He can still walk on top of snow, never ages and has that never-ending supply of never-miss arrows though, right?


That scene on Caradhras was one I was hoping they'd do faithfully. I was pleased to see Legolas walking easily atop the snow as the others plowed through it.
 
2014-07-08 05:42:26 PM  

flondrix: But the following video, produced by popular YouTube channel MinutePhysics, makes it clear that, thanks to the way light diffracts when it enters the eye, the son of Thranduil is clearly fibbing about his ocular prowess-or possibly, that elves in Middle-earth can see UV radiation.

Didn't one of the the versions of D&D make this claim?


Elves and dwarves in D&D have infravision, like Predator. In first edition AD&D there were some things that had ultravision but I'm not sure if elves did. Ultravision was dropped in later editions I think.

/Nerd moment
 
2014-07-08 05:47:44 PM  
What did they expect?  He's a motherfarking T-Rex.
 
2014-07-08 05:57:04 PM  

Khazar-Khum: Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.


It's adorable when they think on something other than gold.  Back to your mines with you, the big people are talking.
 
2014-07-08 05:57:39 PM  

wraith95: flondrix: But the following video, produced by popular YouTube channel MinutePhysics, makes it clear that, thanks to the way light diffracts when it enters the eye, the son of Thranduil is clearly fibbing about his ocular prowess-or possibly, that elves in Middle-earth can see UV radiation.

Didn't one of the the versions of D&D make this claim?

Elves and dwarves in D&D have infravision, like Predator. In first edition AD&D there were some things that had ultravision but I'm not sure if elves did. Ultravision was dropped in later editions I think.

/Nerd moment


I never played first edition, but in 3E and 3.5, elves had low-light vision (they could see twice as far in torchlight), while dwarves and gnomes had a completely separate ability called darkvision (they could see up to 40 feet away with no light at all).  Earlier editions had them being able to see infrared.

And in any case, infrared light is on the opposite end of the spectrum from ultraviolet, and therefore would diffract even faster than visible light.  So while it would let you see warm-blooded creatures in total darkness, it wouldn't give you the ability to see them at longer distances than with visible light.
 
2014-07-08 05:58:39 PM  

flondrix: But the following video, produced by popular YouTube channel MinutePhysics, makes it clear that, thanks to the way light diffracts when it enters the eye, the son of Thranduil is clearly fibbing about his ocular prowess-or possibly, that elves in Middle-earth can see UV radiation.

Didn't one of the the versions of D&D make this claim?


many animals of today can see in the ultraviolet spectrum. There was a recent article on how the power lines throughout the Siberian tundra are changing the reindeer or some other herd animal migration patterns because they see the ultraviolet flashes that occur on the power lines themselves.

but yeah the original d&d books made a big deal of the ultraviolet and infrared spectrums in some critter-people. the image from for the ultraviolet was a negative image of a crappy line drawing
 
2014-07-08 05:59:42 PM  
Henry Gee covered this in his book, The Science of Middle-Earth. Suffice it to say that Elven eyes are considerably different than Human eyes. Look it up, if you care.
www.collecttolkien.com
 
2014-07-08 06:00:26 PM  

Prophet of Loss: Khazar-Khum: Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.

That's speciesist. intolerable


corrected that for you
 
2014-07-08 06:10:32 PM  
The laws of physics clearly don't apply to elves. Or at least, not to Legolas. Anybody who watched him swing onto a horse during the warg battle knows that the normal rules of gravity and momentum have no hold on him.
 
2014-07-08 06:36:53 PM  
Maybe elven eyes simply had the capillaries behind the retina, which would improve vision considerably compared to human or other animal eyes.

/Breaks out GURPS biotech book.
 
2014-07-08 06:40:42 PM  

Osomatic: The laws of physics clearly don't apply to elves. Or at least, not to Legolas. Anybody who watched him swing onto a horse during the warg battle knows that the normal rules of gravity and momentum have no hold on him.


Commenting on my own post to add this, which I should have done in the first place:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpegFVRxarI
 
2014-07-08 06:45:05 PM  

Osomatic: The laws of physics clearly don't apply to elves. Or at least, not to Legolas. Anybody who watched him swing onto a horse during the warg battle knows that the normal rules of gravity and momentum have no hold on him.


Same with the barrel scene in The Hobbit
 
2014-07-08 06:53:01 PM  
Well did it ever make sense that he could walk on the snow when they tried passing the Caradhras even though the men and the dwarve sank into it? It's not like he was lighter than the hobbits or maybe, just maybe this is just a work of fiction.
 
2014-07-08 07:07:46 PM  

Khazar-Khum: Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.


That's Pikey's (or Gypsies) not elves.
 
2014-07-08 07:24:39 PM  
Physics proves that Legolas planted thermite in the WTC.
 
2014-07-08 07:27:29 PM  
Silly MinutePhysics. Legolas has two eyes; probably more than 5 cm apart.

Clearly, his superior elven eyes are recording phase information as well. No ultraviolet or magic required!

/won't help you with that stupid horse though.
 
ecl
2014-07-08 08:26:18 PM  
Frodo doesn't approve.
 
2014-07-08 08:29:57 PM  
Okay, first of all...elves weren't magical creatures.  They were the firstborn of Iluvatar, and were gifted with having a more fundamental connection with the "stuff" of Middle-Earth.  This manifested itself in many ways, like their immortality (except through violence or "giving up"), the ability to walk on snow, their ability to go without what we'd call sleep, and through their keener eyesight (both at distance and in the dark).  And in what we'd refer to as "magic"...but what was really just an ability to mold matter and energy through non-mechanical means.

It also meant that their individual fates are inextricably tied to the fate of the world, and as such they have no hope of the freedom that death may bring.  And that what choices they make ostensibly out of free will will *always* still come around to carrying out the will of Iluvatar and the fulfillment of the Ainulindale (the Song of the Valar).  They are the ultimate tragic figures (in the classical sense of the word) because every attempt to avoid their fates only helps to bring it about.

And yes, I *hated* the movies.  Partly for the plot rewrites, partly for the character assassination of Faramir, partly because they actually had Aragorn get wounded...but mostly because Tolkien's magic is not the magic of CGI.  It's so much simpler...

/yes, I'm a Tolkien nerd.
//no, I'm not apologetic about it
 
2014-07-08 08:50:58 PM  

Some 'Splainin' To Do: scottydoesntknow: Physics proves that fictional character in a fictional world wouldn't work in non-fictional world.

In all fairness, the LotR universe is supposed to be our own universe, just from a prior age. If fundamental properties of light differed between that age and our own, then the world really was quite different.

(Of course the actual point is to do a small physics lesson in the guise of analyzing a fictional claim, but I'm sure it's more fun to shout "OMG, it's just a story, you nerds!")


In all fairness, elves are, by definition, magical creatures. They bend the laws of physics by their very nature.
 
2014-07-08 08:53:31 PM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: Khazar-Khum: Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.

That's Pikey's (or Gypsies) not elves.


Pretty sure it's Guerreros.
 
2014-07-08 08:56:38 PM  

Sarien: Khazar-Khum: Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.

It's adorable when they think on something other than gold.  Back to your mines with you, the big people are talking.


You're both out of your element-al
;)


/yes, I can
 
2014-07-08 09:02:03 PM  
ringlord.com

What about Legolam and Gimlet (son of Groin)?  Will they be able to help Arrowroot save Moxie and Pepsi from the narcs?
 
2014-07-08 09:03:08 PM  

McGrits: Prophet of Loss: Khazar-Khum: Of course he's a liar. Elves are arrogant bastards who do nothing but lie, cheat and steal.

That's speciesist. intolerable intolerant

corrected that for you

 
2014-07-08 09:05:02 PM  
Well, it's certainly true that the Rayleigh limit applies to vision, there are methods to resolve images that would normally be unresolvable.  For example, deconvolution algorithms.

What I'm getting out of this is that Legolas' brain has a built-in wiener filter.
 
2014-07-08 09:07:40 PM  

RatMaster999: [ringlord.com image 850x1439]

What about Legolam and Gimlet (son of Groin)?  Will they be able to help Arrowroot save Moxie and Pepsi from the narcs?


Clearly, Legolam was suffering from one too many visits to Tim Benzedrino...

/Hie thee hence, you leafy narc!
//Big fan of the parody.
 
2014-07-08 09:14:01 PM  

PabloHosehead: Okay, first of all...elves weren't magical creatures.  They were the firstborn of Iluvatar, and were gifted with having a more fundamental connection with the "stuff" of Middle-Earth.  This manifested itself in many ways, like their immortality (except through violence or "giving up"), the ability to walk on snow, their ability to go without what we'd call sleep, and through their keener eyesight (both at distance and in the dark).  And in what we'd refer to as "magic"...but what was really just an ability to mold matter and energy through non-mechanical means.


Tolkien elves were perfectly capable of seeing in the darkness when they awoke in Cuiviénen, during the First Age in the Years of the Trees before the Sun and Moon existed, and the only ambient light in what we consider the visible spectrum that existed in Middle Earth was starlight.

Obviously, their photic ocular receptors are different than those of humans.  They must have been capable of perceiving a wider range of wavelengths of the electromagnetic spectrum, so perhaps they *could* see ultraviolet, thus their long-range vision.

*sigh* Why the hell did I just waste time and energy typing that?

♫ If you're wondering how elves see so well,
and other science facts (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, It's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Middle-Earth Science Nerdrage... 3000! ♫
 
2014-07-08 09:34:09 PM  
i thought lego loss was when the vacuum eats a block..
 
2014-07-08 09:59:54 PM  
He can do it coz elves iz cool, innit. Dat legolam is da biz nawa ameen?
 
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