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(STV.tv)   Scotland now leads the world in cocaine use, edging out the US and Spain for top spot, as Scots increasingly turn to cocaine to help deal with the pain of being Scottish   (news.stv.tv) divider line 67
    More: Sad, Scotland, Spain, national capitals, cocaine addiction, other nations  
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1703 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2014 at 1:48 AM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-09 01:10:57 AM
Australia, Scotland, and England are the laggards in hot white chicks, in my experience.  Not sure what it is, but the only good looking broads I saw in Edinburgh were Polish immigrants, the only smoking chicks in London are from New York, and in Australia the only thing worth banging is one of those didgeridoos off the heads of all those gasoline huffers selling their dreaming paintings at Ayers Rock.

If you want good looking white chicks, do not go to those three countries.
 
2014-07-09 01:54:18 AM
sounds like they need more zombie babies on the cielings
 
2014-07-09 01:54:46 AM
I blame legalized pot.  It may not actually be legalized in some states yet, but at least in the west coast cities it's just treated as a secondary offense.  Don't jaywalk while smoking pot, don't carry a gun while smoking pot, don't eat the tomatoes out of someone's front yard garden while smoking pot, don't throw out a dead hooker in a gas station's dumpster while smoking pot, don't let your dog crap on someone else's front yard without picking it up while smoking pot, etc.

Damnit Washington, Colorado, Oregon, California, and all the other states that stopped giving a shiat.  You've made us not #1 at something!
 
2014-07-09 01:55:24 AM
Might also explain why they find this appetizing...

o.aolcdn.com
 
2014-07-09 01:58:47 AM

capt.hollister: Might also explain why they find this appetizing...


Hey now. Properly prepared, that's some really tasty stuff.

Also: Trainspotting.
 
2014-07-09 02:10:22 AM
So they are a bit more assholeish than they already were ?

/been there
 
2014-07-09 02:17:44 AM
Under the Scotman's kilt?
Lad, I don't know where ya been, but yer shakin' all the good stuff out.
 
2014-07-09 02:17:52 AM
Damn Scots ruined Scotland!
kmpunksays.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-09 02:18:16 AM
How can they even find cocaine in Scotland? Don't the Colombians kind of stick out long before they get there?
 
2014-07-09 02:23:00 AM
colombian marching powder has no legs

give those poor folks some 1998 Iowa red rock meth and they'll take over England in a fortnight
 
2014-07-09 02:25:43 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-09 02:26:40 AM
man I want some cocaine
 
2014-07-09 02:32:16 AM

brimed03: capt.hollister: Might also explain why they find this appetizing...

Hey now. Properly prepared, that's some really tasty stuff.


Yes it is, it's just a loosely packed sausage.

Sausage: Lips, guts and assholes tightly crammed into the place where poop is made.
Haggis: Lips, guts and assholes not so tightly crammed into a lung.

Not for nothing but if you want to get grossed out, the poop thing would do it for me long before the lung one would. I like both so for me it's moot. Not to say that neither can be badly made and inedible. YMMV.
 
2014-07-09 02:41:43 AM

Radioactive Ass: brimed03: capt.hollister: Might also explain why they find this appetizing...

Hey now. Properly prepared, that's some really tasty stuff.

Yes it is, it's just a loosely packed sausage.

Sausage: Lips, guts and assholes tightly crammed into the place where poop is made.
Haggis: Lips, guts and assholes not so tightly crammed into a lung.

Not for nothing but if you want to get grossed out, the poop thing would do it for me long before the lung one would. I like both so for me it's moot. Not to say that neither can be badly made and inedible. YMMV.


Actually, haggis is sheep's heart, liver, and lungs cooked in its stomach. So it's even less disgusting than sausage.

Plus prepared haggis also has onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt; and is mixed with soup stock. Mmm, tasty stuff!
 
2014-07-09 02:44:36 AM

fusillade762: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 576x304]


He's have killed himself after the 0-3 part.
 
2014-07-09 02:45:14 AM
"A Scottish Government spokesman said: "We do not accept the international comparisons made in this report due to considerable concerns about the amount and quality of the information available in different countries - concerns regularly raised with the UN by Scotland's Chief Statistician."

Quite right. Need to also include Scottish consumption of Heroin, Temazepam and Buckfast to get a realistic picture
 
2014-07-09 02:48:23 AM
 
2014-07-09 02:57:03 AM
If The Proclaimers actually went 500 miles, they would fall into the sea.
 
2014-07-09 02:59:53 AM

brimed03: capt.hollister: Might also explain why they find this appetizing...

Hey now. Properly prepared, that's some really tasty stuff.

Also: Trainspotting.


Especially the toilet scene.
Thank You for keeping me on my diet.
 
2014-07-09 03:01:48 AM

brimed03: Actually, haggis is sheep's heart, liver, and lungs cooked in its stomach. So it's even less disgusting than sausage.


Never made it so there is that. I still like it when made properly and served in a bowl. I've had bad Haggis at a Fish and Chips shop (once) and it almost made me puke, it was that bad. Well made, I'd eat it regularly.
 
2014-07-09 03:04:24 AM

TommyymmoT: If The Proclaimers actually went 500 miles, they would fall into the sea.


Well maybe or maybe not if they were singing about road miles, but that 500 miles more would have done it.

/La-La-de-de-da-da
 
2014-07-09 03:46:30 AM

Gunther: nickdaisy: Australia the only thing worth banging is one of those didgeridoos off the heads of all those gasoline huffers selling their dreaming paintings at Ayers Rock.

I came into this thread expecting Trainspotting quotes, not offensive yet bizarrely specific racism. I guess you get points for originality if nothing else.


i.ytimg.com
 
2014-07-09 03:48:31 AM
But I thought cocaine was expensive!

/I have never seen people joke about the spending habits of Scots as much as the Scots themselves
 
2014-07-09 03:53:45 AM

Resident Muslim: But I thought cocaine was expensive!

/I have never seen people joke about the spending habits of Scots as much as the Scots themselves


Q: Why do Scotsmen have thin dicks?

A: Coz they're such tight-fisted wankers.
 
2014-07-09 04:00:05 AM

nickdaisy: Australia, Scotland, and England are the laggards in hot white chicks, in my experience.  Not sure what it is, but the only good looking broads I saw in Edinburgh were Polish immigrants, the only smoking chicks in London are from New York, and in Australia the only thing worth banging is one of those didgeridoos off the heads of all those gasoline huffers selling their dreaming paintings at Ayers Rock.

If you want good looking white chicks, do not go to those three countries.


I was going to complain about your empty observations that wasted my time, but now I just feel sorry for you, because I know your life is going to be hard and miserable no matter what.
 
2014-07-09 04:05:47 AM
i don't see any coke heads...just us smack heads around here....
 
2014-07-09 04:22:23 AM
Christ, can you imagine trying to understand them when they're on coke.
 
2014-07-09 04:28:02 AM
Who'dda eveah ah guess't it?
 
2014-07-09 04:28:31 AM
Coked up Scots.. Now the sheep will be even more nervous..
 
2014-07-09 04:55:58 AM

i.imgur.com

 
2014-07-09 05:49:19 AM

Phil Moskowitz: nickdaisy: Australia, Scotland, and England are the laggards in hot white chicks, in my experience.  Not sure what it is, but the only good looking broads I saw in Edinburgh were Polish immigrants, the only smoking chicks in London are from New York, and in Australia the only thing worth banging is one of those didgeridoos off the heads of all those gasoline huffers selling their dreaming paintings at Ayers Rock.

If you want good looking white chicks, do not go to those three countries.

I was going to complain about your empty observations that wasted my time, but now I just feel sorry for you, because I know your life is going to be hard and miserable no matter what.


No kidding. I have met and snuggled pretty girls from all three of those countries, so... My theory is that they just avoid you.
 
2014-07-09 06:07:54 AM

nickdaisy: If you want good looking white chicks, do not go to those three countries.


To be fair, if you visited Scotland recently, you may have been looking at the guys.  Those are their Commonwealth Games uniforms.   cdn.images.express.co.uk

The coke "problem" is largely because Scotland bothers to keep records, which the U.S. has mostly stopped doing.
 
2014-07-09 06:15:27 AM

Cormee: Christ, can you imagine trying to understand them when they're on coke.


I'm now just imagining a series of gurgles and clicks in my head.

/Not that different.
 
2014-07-09 06:38:14 AM
The drugs aren't the problem.  It's the crime related to the black market selling of drugs.  Governments around the world could care less about their people...they care about control.  If you want drugs you can get them most any where.  If they made meth legal tomorrow....I still wouldn't want it....but the choice should be mine to do as I choose with my own body.

/Make it all legal
//Make sure it is safe/pure
///Tax it, keep it out of the hands of children
////Give people help that want to quit (medical problem...not a legal one)
//Google - LEAP (law enforcement against prohibition) www.leap.cc
// Wait....what were we talking about?
 
2014-07-09 06:41:02 AM
"For the first time ever I saw the Scotch in their natural habitat, and it weren't pretty. I'd seen them huddling in stations before, being loud but... this time I was surrounded. Everywhere I went it felt like they were watching me; fish-white flesh puckered by the Highland breeze; tight eyes peering out for fresh meat; screechy, booze-soaked voices hollering out for a taxi to take 'em halfway up the road to the next all-night watering hole. A shatter of glass; a round of applause; a sixteen-year-old mother of three vomiting in an open sewer, bairns looking on, chewing on potato cakes. I ain't never going back... not never. "
 
2014-07-09 07:06:22 AM
Bslim:

My aunt lives in Scotland. She says it's quite nice.
 
2014-07-09 07:22:46 AM
The problem with Scotland is that it's full of Scots...
 
2014-07-09 07:27:10 AM
Dammit Obama.
 
2014-07-09 07:28:35 AM
Yes, but we're still the mother-farkin' champs for bath salts and meth...
 
2014-07-09 07:33:26 AM

 codenamewizard: The drugs aren't the problem.  It's the crime related to the black market selling of drugs.  Governments around the world could care less about their people...they care about control.  If you want drugs you can get them most any where.  If they made meth legal tomorrow....I still wouldn't want it....but the choice should be mine to do as I choose with my own body.

/Make it all legal
//Make sure it is safe/pure
///Tax it, keep it out of the hands of children
////Give people help that want to quit (medical problem...not a legal one)
//Google - LEAP (law enforcement against prohibition) www.leap.cc
// Wait....what were we talking about?


 The problem is that too many people abuse it (and I am one who has been that route too many times).  Do you want to live in an area full of meth heads? It is a great drug, at first. Plenty of energy, optimism, and enthusiasm. Then comes monomania,  megalomania and paranoia. Then comes the irrational, dangerous behaviour. I think we should be allowed to put what we like into our bodies but do you want your surgeon or pilot coming off a week-long binge? If there is freedom to do as we please, then there must be severe penalties for (advertently or inadvertently) negatively affecting others.
 
2014-07-09 07:44:27 AM
So what are they going to call the sequel, Train Snotting?
 
2014-07-09 08:07:21 AM

Phil Moskowitz: nickdaisy: Australia, Scotland, and England are the laggards in hot white chicks, in my experience.  Not sure what it is, but the only good looking broads I saw in Edinburgh were Polish immigrants, the only smoking chicks in London are from New York, and in Australia the only thing worth banging is one of those didgeridoos off the heads of all those gasoline huffers selling their dreaming paintings at Ayers Rock.

If you want good looking white chicks, do not go to those three countries.

I was going to complain about your empty observations that wasted my time, but now I just feel sorry for you, because I know your life is going to be hard and miserable no matter what.


d13s5ta1qg2cax.cloudfront.net
 
2014-07-09 08:19:24 AM
 It's shiatE being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the farking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a shiatE state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and ALL the fresh air in the world won't make any farking difference!
 
2014-07-09 08:19:37 AM

Lee451: codenamewizard: The drugs aren't the problem.  It's the crime related to the black market selling of drugs.  Governments around the world could care less about their people...they care about control.  If you want drugs you can get them most any where.  If they made meth legal tomorrow....I still wouldn't want it....but the choice should be mine to do as I choose with my own body.

/Make it all legal
//Make sure it is safe/pure
///Tax it, keep it out of the hands of children
////Give people help that want to quit (medical problem...not a legal one)
//Google - LEAP (law enforcement against prohibition) www.leap.cc
// Wait....what were we talking about?

 The problem is that too many people abuse it (and I am one who has been that route too many times).  Do you want to live in an area full of meth heads? It is a great drug, at first. Plenty of energy, optimism, and enthusiasm. Then comes monomania,  megalomania and paranoia. Then comes the irrational, dangerous behaviour. I think we should be allowed to put what we like into our bodies but do you want your surgeon or pilot coming off a week-long binge? If there is freedom to do as we please, then there must be severe penalties for (advertently or inadvertently) negatively affecting others.


That sounds more like a case for vocational drug testing and punitive prosecution of negligence than for illegality.
 
2014-07-09 08:20:11 AM
hollowverse.zippykid.netdna-cdn.com
I was doing it in Scotland back in the 80's.  Before it got all fashionable.
 
2014-07-09 08:26:36 AM

Scots increasingly turn to cocaine to help deal with the pain of being Scottish


Entire country now incomprehensible.


my vision of an improved headline
 
2014-07-09 08:39:54 AM
Subby,

i.chzbgr.com
 
2014-07-09 08:57:12 AM

brimed03: Radioactive Ass: brimed03: capt.hollister: Might also explain why they find this appetizing...

Hey now. Properly prepared, that's some really tasty stuff.

Yes it is, it's just a loosely packed sausage.

Sausage: Lips, guts and assholes tightly crammed into the place where poop is made.
Haggis: Lips, guts and assholes not so tightly crammed into a lung.

Not for nothing but if you want to get grossed out, the poop thing would do it for me long before the lung one would. I like both so for me it's moot. Not to say that neither can be badly made and inedible. YMMV.

Actually, haggis is sheep's heart, liver, and lungs cooked in its stomach. So it's even less disgusting than sausage.

Plus prepared haggis also has onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt; and is mixed with soup stock. Mmm, tasty stuff!


I'm here to say that, yes, haggis is farking delicious. Served with mash and onion gravy... I swear it's the best accompaniment to ale I've ever had.
 
2014-07-09 09:01:35 AM
I think Edinburgh is one of the best cities in the world. Hard to believe it's in the same region as Glasgow.
 
2014-07-09 09:17:09 AM

Gunther: Bslim:

My aunt lives in Scotland. She says it's quite nice.


What, the quality of the coke?
 
2014-07-09 09:29:26 AM

Gyrfalcon: How can they even find cocaine in Scotland? Don't the Colombians kind of stick out long before they get there?


The Colombians haven't been in the cocaine distribution business since the 90's. The Mexican cartels have taken that over. The Colombians, Peruvians and Bolivians now just produce it and sell it to the Mexicans who now distribute it. And one of the Mexican cartels has a partnership with the Northern Italian mob who buys cocaine from them and distributes it into Europe.
 
2014-07-09 09:33:32 AM
i1.cpcache.com
Any story about Scotland reminds me of this phrase.
 
2014-07-09 09:38:32 AM

GoldDude: Gunther: Bslim:

My aunt lives in Scotland. She says it's quite nice.

What, the quality of the coke?


Not exactly
 
2014-07-09 09:43:51 AM
coke is cool when you are at parties in late teens early twenties but outside of that window it's kinda sad, unless you are going though some kind of mid life crisis and you are doing it while you drive some fast car down a road with an ocean view while a woman 15 to 20 years your junior gives you head.
 
2014-07-09 09:54:22 AM

Low Budget Dave: nickdaisy: If you want good looking white chicks, do not go to those three countries.

To be fair, if you visited Scotland recently, you may have been looking at the guys.  Those are their Commonwealth Games uniforms.  

The coke "problem" is largely because Scotland bothers to keep records, which the U.S. has mostly stopped doing.


Party foul for posting pics of kilted Scotsmen with no ginger in the group.
 
2014-07-09 11:19:51 AM

Headso: coke is cool when you are at parties in late teens early twenties but outside of that window it's kinda sad, unless you are going though some kind of mid life crisis and you are doing it while you drive some fast car down a road with an ocean view while a woman 15 to 20 years your junior gives you head.


And there's something wrong with your second scenario?
 
2014-07-09 11:59:17 AM
The USA
Scotland
Spain

If you had to name one thing these three countries have in common it would probably be ... bad cooking.

So here's the latest Brantgoose Theory:  people who can't cook food cook meth and coke.

Think about it. Works on a national and local scale.

The solution is right under your noses (pardon the expression):  teach people how to cook and to enjoy food.

The French are the only nation to seriously do this, but Michelle Obama has tried to make a step in the right direction by encouraging healthy school lunches and has been soundly mocked by the Puritans who made American cookery inedible in the first place, not to mention the very regions and classes of people who have made coke and meth so popular in both urban and rural environments.

Coke is not a black drug. It is a white middle class and upper class drug.
Meth is not a black drug. It is the drug of choice for the rural and urban underclasses and is produced and consumed by reactionary hillbillies as much as urban hipsters.

I think I am on to something:  if you don't know how to enjoy and produce good food, you fall back on self-medication. If you don't know how to enjoy the simple, natural pleasures of life (food, drink, sex, sleep, good music, etc.) you fall prey to the unnatural pleasures of life (politics, religion, drugs, fast food).

God help Scotland. Even the English have learned a lot about food since the wartime and post-wartime deprivations came to an end.
 
2014-07-09 12:06:10 PM

Headso: coke is cool when you are at parties in late teens early twenties but outside of that window it's kinda sad, unless you are going though some kind of mid life crisis and you are doing it while you drive some fast car down a road with an ocean view while a woman 15 to 20 years your junior gives you head.


go on ...
 
2014-07-09 12:16:13 PM

mike_d85: Cormee: Christ, can you imagine trying to understand them when they're on coke.

I'm now just imagining a series of gurgles and clicks in my head.

/Not that different.




Just wait until they join Starfleet.
 
2014-07-09 12:50:47 PM
Seen booking a flight to Scotland

i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-09 02:39:29 PM

brantgoose: The USA
Scotland
Spain

If you had to name one thing these three countries have in common it would probably be ... bad cooking.

So here's the latest Brantgoose Theory:  people who can't cook food cook meth and coke.

Think about it. Works on a national and local scale.

The solution is right under your noses (pardon the expression):  teach people how to cook and to enjoy food.

The French are the only nation to seriously do this, but Michelle Obama has tried to make a step in the right direction by encouraging healthy school lunches and has been soundly mocked by the Puritans who made American cookery inedible in the first place, not to mention the very regions and classes of people who have made coke and meth so popular in both urban and rural environments.

Coke is not a black drug. It is a white middle class and upper class drug.
Meth is not a black drug. It is the drug of choice for the rural and urban underclasses and is produced and consumed by reactionary hillbillies as much as urban hipsters.

I think I am on to something:  if you don't know how to enjoy and produce good food, you fall back on self-medication. If you don't know how to enjoy the simple, natural pleasures of life (food, drink, sex, sleep, good music, etc.) you fall prey to the unnatural pleasures of life (politics, religion, drugs, fast food).

God help Scotland. Even the English have learned a lot about food since the wartime and post-wartime deprivations came to an end.


No, I think if you suffer (and eating canned ham certainly qualifies) then you start doing drugs.  Also, it's scientifically proven that if you have something, anything, to live for drug addiction drops expotentially.  Is the next meal consisting of corn dogs worth living for?
 
2014-07-09 03:26:06 PM
Stitch that Jimmy.
 
2014-07-09 04:47:29 PM
Really? Who's buying it for them?
 
2014-07-09 06:35:48 PM
The trouble with Scotland is that it's filed with coked-up Scots...

/freedom?
 
2014-07-09 06:36:31 PM
Ummm, "filled"
 
2014-07-09 11:47:24 PM
"Then they took a huff, and aneither huff..."

I always suspected that that song wasn't about drinking.
 
2014-07-10 01:05:01 PM

Lee451: codenamewizard: The drugs aren't the problem.  It's the crime related to the black market selling of drugs.  Governments around the world could care less about their people...they care about control.  If you want drugs you can get them most any where.  If they made meth legal tomorrow....I still wouldn't want it....but the choice should be mine to do as I choose with my own body.

/Make it all legal
//Make sure it is safe/pure
///Tax it, keep it out of the hands of children
////Give people help that want to quit (medical problem...not a legal one)
//Google - LEAP (law enforcement against prohibition) www.leap.cc
// Wait....what were we talking about?

 The problem is that too many people abuse it (and I am one who has been that route too many times).  Do you want to live in an area full of meth heads? It is a great drug, at first. Plenty of energy, optimism, and enthusiasm. Then comes monomania,  megalomania and paranoia. Then comes the irrational, dangerous behaviour. I think we should be allowed to put what we like into our bodies but do you want your surgeon or pilot coming off a week-long binge? If there is freedom to do as we please, then there must be severe penalties for (advertently or inadvertently) negatively affecting others.


I am all for complete decriminalization of drugs
As for the societal problems it will cause, I also believe in carrying a weapon.
Be responsible for yourself, and your under-aged children.
 
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