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(Bay News 9)   Couple calls 911 after being trapped inside a room by their cat. This is not a repeat from a couple of months ago   (baynews9.com ) divider line
    More: Florida  
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6249 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jul 2014 at 4:11 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-08 09:47:07 AM  
You just had your human card revoked.  Get back down the food chain!
 
2014-07-08 09:47:14 AM  

RobSeace: Ambivalence: If your cat doesn't like having its belly rubbed, don't do that.

Some of them love to trick you into doing it by rolling over and begging for it, only to spring the claw trap on you when you try!


My cat does this. We call it the muffin belly trap and to this day we still fall for it.
 
2014-07-08 09:53:45 AM  

Literally Addicted: mike_d85: "Cats are viscous and you are helpless against them!"

Cats are vicious.  Molasses is viscous.


Well, I'm pretty sure that with the right, uh, processing, and at the right temperature, cats can be viscous too.  Like most mammals.
 
2014-07-08 09:59:20 AM  
Nidiot:
 behaves like a spoiled cat.
ftfy
 
2014-07-08 10:07:56 AM  

Lsherm: I've been to the hospital twice after two attacks by the same cat (once for cellulitis, once for stitches) but even at his absolute worst he never made me cower in a room and call the cops.  WTF are these people doing wrong?

I think meth.  These people must smell like meth, and it really pisses the cats off.  Or something else equally offensive to their reptilian brain.  When a normal cat feels threatened by an animal much larger than itself, or two, it attacks until it can get away, and then it runs. Maybe the cat keeps smelling something it can't get away from.  It doesn't sound like a predatory attack, it sounds like the cat was trying to defend itself from something.  From what?

Or rabies, but that big ass cat from a few months ago didn't have rabies, did it?  Something these people did made that cat think trying to kill them, however fruitless an endeavor, was preferable to running away.


After it attacked me the first time and sent me to the hospital, there would not have been a chance for a second attack. Enjoy the shelter, kitty. Hope it all works out for you. You keep feeding something that scratches and bites you twice...and they're the ones on meth?

/Serpents with fur
 
2014-07-08 10:08:39 AM  

karmachameleon: The dead giveaway of the feline ignorant - and all you guys do this - is the talk of merely grabbing it and throwing it. rofl...not happening


karmachameleon: The very best thing to do when faced with a furious cat and no protection at your disposal is to wade right in, take your bites and scratches, and grab it by the scruff of the neck with one hand and the hind legs with the other, and hold on tigh

t.

So it's possible to grab it and hold on to it but impossible to grab it and throw it?
 
2014-07-08 10:08:54 AM  

Literally Addicted: Seraphym: Rocco?

[cdn.ebaumsworld.com image 473x200]

That was my favourite scene in that movie.

/don't hate cats
//it was funny as hell
///because I was told slashies come in threes


Great scene.  My favorite was "funny, funny, funny"  as Rocko was shooting the bartender....this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5KMg1BXJ9U
 
2014-07-08 10:10:17 AM  

Seraphym: forgotmydamnusername: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

There's your problem. I no longer have the hand speed to knock a hostile animal into next week without getting the shiat bit out of me, but I do have a .44 magnum that will blow a cat in half. No reason why I should put up with that bullshiat from a cat, or from anything else, really. Neither should you.

Rocco?

[cdn.ebaumsworld.com image 473x200]


Please tell me what movie that's from.
 
2014-07-08 10:14:38 AM  
its teh rabies.  the cat had no shots, ever.  Also, isn't Kush a slang term for really really good weed?
 
2014-07-08 10:15:15 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Seraphym: forgotmydamnusername: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

There's your problem. I no longer have the hand speed to knock a hostile animal into next week without getting the shiat bit out of me, but I do have a .44 magnum that will blow a cat in half. No reason why I should put up with that bullshiat from a cat, or from anything else, really. Neither should you.

Rocco?

[cdn.ebaumsworld.com image 473x200]

Please tell me what movie that's from.


Boondock Saints
 
2014-07-08 10:17:08 AM  

SirRepetitious: texastag: According to the article the cat's name is 'Kush' and it's never had any shots.

So, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say these people probably aren't responsible enough to care for another living thing that is any more complex than a plant they plan to smoke.

/Hopefully the cat will find a better home

I'm late to the party but I can't believe it to long to mention "kush".


ah yes, nevermind.    didn't read previous comments.  carry on.
 
2014-07-08 10:19:26 AM  

LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.


I am dealing with a feral that decided to have her kittens in my back yard. She told me her name was Hisss! and I believe her. She attacked my house cat when he got out at night and sent him to the vet for a clip and clean and some antibiotics and then I actually had to pick up a semi-feral (long time stray/abandoned cat I've named Earl) to save him from her as well. Earl is in quarantine in my bathroom right now and going to the vet later today. He was so relieved to be away from that horrible biatch cat he's decided to go back into housecat mode.

It is just unreal how aggressive Hisss! is, probably because she's in mommy mode. She has tried to chase me out of my own yard, then shows up at the back door demanding protection kibble food - by hissing and growling and looking sad. I have no idea what I'm going to do about her and her babies, but man, I can hardly wait until I figure it out and get them GONE to good and patient homes. Then I'll be able to sit on my back patio again without having to worry about having my face chewed off by a ticked off cat.

Her babies are super cute, btw. Anyone want a kitten? Please?
 
2014-07-08 10:20:50 AM  
Dudes, you punch the cat, it goes away.
pussy humans, ug
 
2014-07-08 10:25:31 AM  
Calling 911 because of a house cat means you fail at life. You deserve much mockery and should probably just give up.

forgotmydamnusername:
There's your problem. I no longer have the hand speed to knock a hostile animal into next week without getting the shiat bit out of me, but I do have a .44 magnum that will blow a cat in half. No reason why I should put up with that bullshiat from a cat, or from anything else, really. Neither should you.

If you're pulling a hand gun on a house cat, you've got issues. Stay away from other people.
 
2014-07-08 10:33:22 AM  

GoldDude: Russian Blue Shorthair:
[cypruslivepets.com image 645x380]

British Blue Shorthair:
[img.fark.net image 800x600]


Thank you. I came here to say the same thing. Russian Blue's are leaner and always have green eyes. British Blue's have a more cobby body and usually have yellow/gold/orange eyes.

Another Russian Blue:

i283.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-08 10:35:49 AM  

mike_d85: This thread is hilarious.
"Cats are viscous and you are helpless against them!"
"Cats are tiny! Me smash cat!"


What a viscous cat may look like:

www.somethingpositive.net
 
2014-07-08 10:39:26 AM  

Real Women Drink Akvavit: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

I am dealing with a feral that decided to have her kittens in my back yard. She told me her name was Hisss! and I believe her. She attacked my house cat when he got out at night and sent him to the vet for a clip and clean and some antibiotics and then I actually had to pick up a semi-feral (long time stray/abandoned cat I've named Earl) to save him from her as well. Earl is in quarantine in my bathroom right now and going to the vet later today. He was so relieved to be away from that horrible biatch cat he's decided to go back into housecat mode.

It is just unreal how aggressive Hisss! is, probably because she's in mommy mode. She has tried to chase me out of my own yard, then shows up at the back door demanding protection kibble food - by hissing and growling and looking sad. I have no idea what I'm going to do about her and her babies, but man, I can hardly wait until I figure it out and get them GONE to good and patient homes. Then I'll be able to sit on my back patio again without having to worry about having my face chewed off by a ticked off cat.

Her babies are super cute, btw. Anyone want a kitten? Please?


Five to six weeks. Snag the ones that you can in that time frame. Too soon to be getting taught by Hisss to be feral and easy to catch using any simple cat toy, late enough to be given soft cat food instead of Hisss milk. I had an agreement with my local pet store that would basically sell them for what it cost them to have it deloused, looked over by a vet and initial vaccinations done as well as a free spay/neuter later on. About $100 out the door for the new owner. Not a lot different than the local ASPCA but around here they are like PETA nazi's in their "Selection" process which quite honestly can't be pleasant for the animal.

Seriously. If the baby animal isn't getting all Hisss on you when you first meet it it will be fine as long as you don't abuse it, keep it fed and provide a clean litter box. My last cat was a feral that I scooped up that was darting out from under a dumpster into the street. He was just fine.
 
2014-07-08 10:43:07 AM  
Maybe the guy in TFA is a wizard...

http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=912
 
2014-07-08 10:56:48 AM  
The cat is crazy and you don't know how to deal with it. Out of fear and/or concern for the cat, you call 911. Maybe that's reasonable,  maybe not. Just know that when make that decision,  you will be mocked quite severely.
 
2014-07-08 11:01:36 AM  

Nidiot: Cold_Sassy: Kibbler: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

Meh. I have a cat that's gone feral on occasion. Screaming, hissing, biting, clawing. Cats can't kill you. You get bitten and scratched. Once you get over instinctual fear you can deal with it.

When I was younger, I had a cat that would do this pretty regularly, (and I swear to God he was NEVER mistreated) and one day while I was just walking past him he just hooked me right in the calf with one of his claws and it hurt badly, and I just lost it.  I tried to kill him.  I tried very hard.  He must've got the message that time because after that he never ever did it again.

/Still have a cool half-moon scar on my left calf.  The cat lived to be 18 Y.O. (mostly because he chose to cut out the arbitrary attacks.)

Oh thank you. Apparently you can teach a cat not to be an utter shiat. I've always suspected that many cats behave like assholes purely because so many owners are the sort of people who just let them. They claim you can't possibly teach a cat anything and really just shouldn't expect it to behave well. Then they proclaim themselves to be owned by the cat instead of the other way around, as though that is something to be proud of. When the cat gets treated like the most spoiled child in the world, it's not all that surprising it behaves like a spoiled brat.


You're most certainly welcome.  I have a dog too, and the same thing goes.  It works perfectly with that species, also.
 
2014-07-08 11:09:10 AM  

Real Women Drink Akvavit: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

I am dealing with a feral that decided to have her kittens in my back yard. She told me her name was Hisss! and I believe her. She attacked my house cat when he got out at night and sent him to the vet for a clip and clean and some antibiotics and then I actually had to pick up a semi-feral (long time stray/abandoned cat I've named Earl) to save him from her as well. Earl is in quarantine in my bathroom right now and going to the vet later today. He was so relieved to be away from that horrible biatch cat he's decided to go back into housecat mode.

It is just unreal how aggressive Hisss! is, probably because she's in mommy mode. She has tried to chase me out of my own yard, then shows up at the back door demanding protection kibble food - by hissing and growling and looking sad. I have no idea what I'm going to do about her and her babies, but man, I can hardly wait until I figure it out and get them GONE to good and patient homes. Then I'll be able to sit on my back patio again without having to worry about having my face chewed off by a ticked off cat.

Her babies are super cute, btw. Anyone want a kitten? Please?


Most of the time male cats will kill kittens, whether they're "theirs" or not.  That is most likely her issue.
 
2014-07-08 11:16:46 AM  

powhound: powhound: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

Still can't buy it. I would be hard pressed to call the police if any one of our three cats turned against us. The number one reason being is that the Weeners by the police is usually to kill the animal.

lol fark filter!


I take it they are filtering response now instead of just post.  At least when proceeded by the counter less then second.
 
2014-07-08 11:17:41 AM  

tjsands1118: I have a 105lb giant schnauzer mutt, if he ever turned on me I could have a real problem, I'm not worried about that as he's slightly less vicious then a butterfly. But the biggest domestic cat I've ever encountered was probably around 30lbs and that was mostly fat, I just can't see being bullied by something the size of a cat. I know they can scratch pretty good and sometime bite, but anything that isn't venomous that can be flung with one hand doesn't really seem that dangerous.

/I find it funny how many pet cats are mean as shiat, biting and scratching people, and people just shrug it off "oh it's just being temperamental", but if a dog even accidentally bites a person while playing, it's "a vicious animal that needs to be put down".


That's why cats are allowed to freely roam the neighborhood while dogs must be leashed at all times.
 
2014-07-08 11:21:18 AM  

karmachameleon: tjsands1118: I have a 105lb giant schnauzer mutt, if he ever turned on me I could have a real problem, I'm not worried about that as he's slightly less vicious then a butterfly. But the biggest domestic cat I've ever encountered was probably around 30lbs and that was mostly fat, I just can't see being bullied by something the size of a cat. I know they can scratch pretty good and sometime bite, but anything that isn't venomous that can be flung with one hand doesn't really seem that dangerous.

I'd hate like hell to face your dog in an agitated state.  But can your dog jump 10-15 times the length of its own body from a standing-still position?  Can it maneuver so quickly that it can catch a darting squirrel on the run, or sneak up on a bird and kill it with one bite to the neck before the bird even knows there's danger in the vicinity?  Does your dog have claws as sharp as any knife in your kitchen, and teeth to match the claws?  Can your dog move so fast that you can't even lay a hand on it, much less catch it and - lol - "fling it with one hand"?

Big strong dogs present serious dangers when provoked.  But remember Yoda's lesson - size matters not, not when you're dealing with an animal with all the above abilities.  A pissed-off fighting cat will fark you up big-time, and anyone who doubts that has never met one.  This thread will be full of such falsely confident people, and I sincerely hope they never have the personal experience to prove them wrong.  Can it kill you?  Probably not.  But it'll cause real carnage, and more than likely get away afterwards.

[terrymalloyspigeoncoop.files.wordpress.com image 470x297]


I'm 6'3" and once owned a nearly 30 pound cat that was all muscle. ONCE I did something stupid and pizzed him off. By the time I got a coat wrapped around him he shredded both arms and hands below my elbows.  Mean bastard would attack German Shepherds for chits and giggles and tear them up.

So enjoy your fantasies about kicking a cat's azz, tough guys.
 
2014-07-08 11:23:45 AM  
Pinky. Huge credit to the manly man who does not turn the cat into puree.

At a party once we were laughing at a smallish cat who was chasing a moth around the living room. He went up on the couch and it was adorable. So picture 20 or so relatively drunk people standing in a semi-circle laughing at this cat.

Suddenly the cat notices. He puffs up, turns around to face us, and starts that low growling and snarling noise. He stalks toward the crowd with his whole body stiff and his eyes, my god his eyes, burning with hatred.

You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone suddenly became as still as marble statues. We were terrified just by the vicious aura that cat was putting out.

The cat was apparently satisfied with his victory and sat down to clean his nether parts and we laughed nervously and migrated to the garage area.

CSB?
 
2014-07-08 11:33:36 AM  
img.pandawhale.com
 
2014-07-08 11:35:08 AM  

karmachameleon: Ambivalence: karmachameleon: The dead giveaway of the feline ignorant - and all you guys do this - is the talk of merely grabbing it and throwing it. rofl...not happening. Cats on the move are so fast you barely stand a chance of laying two fingers on it, and if by some dumb luck you do happen to catch it, it'll squirm out of your grasp faster than you can say "Crisco". It's hard enough to grab and hold a cat that simply doesn't want to be held. An angry cat? You better be wearing protection and you better have restraints at the ready. Yes, towels and pillows are good tools for this purpose. It's still a task to catch that cat even when well equipped.

Yes cats are fast and yes they are squirmy and yes you really do need to be quick to catch one, but it is definately doable.  I have done it.  I have paid the price for it, but the key is to immobilize and control the head and upper body first (because that's where the teeth and the sharper claws are), then deal with the hind legs. Grabbing by the scruff is how you do that.  It's not easy and the cat may injure itself, but if one were so inclined, and didn't have animal control grabbers, that is how one would do it.

Sure, I agree and have done it too.  I didn't say it was impossible, but it's hard, and the cat can make it as hard as it wants to.  It can be impossible, if you don't have help.

Remember, I'm talking to people who talk about it like it should be a walk in the park because "it's such a small animal, I don't see how it could be that dangerous or damaging".  Heh.


My favorite with my ex's cat (eventually had to let animal control deal with it, no 911 call involved) was one time it was in the closet protecting it's litter of kittens from the invading forces of nothing. I'm 3 rooms away and I stub my toe and yell 'Ow, dammit!'.   All the warning I get is a sort of doppler-effect 'MrrrrrrrrawwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRR' as it comes charging out of the back bedroom leaps from 10 feet away just as I'm turning, and is attached to the arm I managed to raise to block it at chest height.   It took approximately 10 seconds of furious throwing motions to dislodge the thing, all the while it was going cuisinart with all 5 pointy ends.  And you can be DAMN sure I wasn't risking sticking my other hand into the blender.
 
2014-07-08 11:35:35 AM  
My ex mother-in-law got mauled by her cat when it went feral. It was a stray, always a bit moody, but one day it just flipped. She ended up having to shoot it (because she's that kind of person), but before she resorted to that, she was scratched from head to ankle all over. She nearly lost an eye. She had to seek medical attention because that cat dug in and tore chunks of her skin out, and it could jump as high as she was tall, so no part of her was out of reach. She had gouges ON TOP OF HER HEAD from the cat digging in. She had plenty of painful, long scratches all over her body. She had bite marks, too.

She said she couldn't even react because he was moving so fast. He'd leap, dig in, scratch and bat at her for a moment, and then run far away, then he'd loop around -- outflanking her-- and return for another attack.

So yeah... The big tough guys who say they wouldn't be worried: Be worried. If a cat really wants to hurt you, it will hurt you a lot. "Just take the scratches" sounds like easy advice, but pain is pain, and having a cat's claws in your soft tissue makes it hard to think straight... And you are nowhere near as fast or agile as the cat.

And yes, it sucks that she shot the cat... But as I said, she was just that type of person (really. For a while I was half convinced she had shot her husband, too). I don't approve, but she lived out in the middle of nowhere. There were no nearby cops to call. She made a decision that she thought was necessary. Either way, she's my ex mother-in-law, so that's ancient history.
 
2014-07-08 11:36:43 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: My cats don't want me to leave for work in the morning

/of course, since I lost my job today they don't need to worry anymore
//well... except maybe about eating


That's really awful mate. Hope the jobs fairy wends your way, pronto.
 
2014-07-08 11:44:36 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-08 11:45:54 AM  

forgotmydamnusername: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

There's your problem. I no longer have the hand speed to knock a hostile animal into next week without getting the shiat bit out of me, but I do have a .44 magnum that will blow a cat in half. No reason why I should put up with that bullshiat from a cat, or from anything else, really. Neither should you.


This is the first, and hopefully last, time I hear someone claim they need a handgun for protection from house cats. You gun nuts are out of control.

Seriously speaking, if you cat goes on some kind of rampage and you decide that's a good reason to pull out a .44, you should not be allowed to own a gun ever again.
 
2014-07-08 12:01:33 PM  

karmachameleon: gfid: That said, I've seen cats in batshiat crazy mode. It's different than play-fighting. It's a farking cat - probably weighs less than 15 pounds - pick it up and take a few scratches and control it.

It's so obvious which of you are not cat owners.  What, you think it sits there and just swats its claws while you can reach around the back and merely pick it up while taking a few scratches?  lol...if a cat doesn't want to be picked up, believe me, you're not picking it up.  It's not a matter of being scratched, it's a matter of you being much slower and less agile than the cat.


Bullshiat. Had cats my entire life, and you either wrap it in a towel or grab it by the scruff of the neck and back. You'll get scratches but that's all. Unless you are somehow lame or otherwise incapacitated
 
2014-07-08 12:03:41 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

There's your problem. I no longer have the hand speed to knock a hostile animal into next week without getting the shiat bit out of me, but I do have a .44 magnum that will blow a cat in half. No reason why I should put up with that bullshiat from a cat, or from anything else, really. Neither should you.


You might be able to explain to the police why you shot Rover and avoid prosecution, but just try explaining to them why you had to shoot Fluffy!   They won't believe you for one minute!
 
2014-07-08 12:31:40 PM  

happydude45: Bullshiat. Had cats my entire life, and you either wrap it in a towel or grab it by the scruff of the neck and back. You'll get scratches but that's all. Unless you are somehow lame or otherwise incapacitated


1) You are in a towel free, blanket free zone.

2) (something you have never apparently experienced) the cat is in full psycho mode where it just doesn't care if it gets hurt is not the same as them letting you take control because they are just acting up a little bit.

3) You are screwed as far as getting out of it unscathed in an insignificant way.

Don't get me wrong, cats are great pets. I've had several over five decades and only have had one bad experience with one (explained above). But aside from really, actually injuring them to the point of incapacitation, when they get that way you ain't going to stop them until they decide to stop or you get away. Declawing them reduces most injuries to a batting and some bites but the anger is still there. You can see it in their eyes and body language. It's not just a ruffed back and puffed tail. It is out for what humans would call murder. They quite certainly want to kill you even if it means their own life to try and do it. Size difference be damned. Humans can get the same way.

That's not normal by any means but I've seen it and it's not pretty.
 
2014-07-08 12:36:10 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

There's your problem. I no longer have the hand speed to knock a hostile animal into next week without getting the shiat bit out of me, but I do have a .44 magnum that will blow a cat in half. No reason why I should put up with that bullshiat from a cat, or from anything else, really. Neither should you.


watchoutwevegotabadass.gif
 
2014-07-08 12:44:07 PM  
My cats are some of the sweetest things on the planet. That said, the damage they've done to me every other week to my arms and legs is a lot worse than what was shown in the article. The male cat we call them 'love taps' because well, he grabs your whole arm facehugger-style and goes to town. Scratch, scratch, lick lick lick lick, scratch scratch and repeat.

The female one got razor sharp claws who many times at night, has cat dreams while furried up to your arm. She is so soft until about 2am when her internal clock turns on, wakes up and starts being frisky with my arm while I'm asleep.
 
2014-07-08 01:08:54 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: Don't cal 911 over a cat problem.
Call a Chinese Buffet. They know how to handle and prepare cats.


img.fark.net
 
2014-07-08 01:16:29 PM  
I just had some angry pussy so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

//lude
 
2014-07-08 01:30:17 PM  
Yet another case of poor excuses for cat owners. Cat has never had vet care, cat gets abused and/or ignored, finally has enough and takes out its frustration. Then the cat gets the blame.
They named it Kush, for fark's sake. That should say a lot.
 
2014-07-08 01:42:22 PM  

Mystery Vortex: Yet another case of poor excuses for cat owners. Cat has never had vet care, cat gets abused and/or ignored, finally has enough and takes out its frustration. Then the cat gets the blame.
They named it Kush, for fark's sake. That should say a lot.


I don't disagree. In this case the owners probably brought it upon themselves. What I was saying was that cats can go psycho for no apparent reason just because reasons. Cat reasons, which sometimes make no sense compared to people reasons, not even in the politics tab where reason is not exactly a highly held standard.
 
2014-07-08 01:55:32 PM  

Jument: forgotmydamnusername: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

There's your problem. I no longer have the hand speed to knock a hostile animal into next week without getting the shiat bit out of me, but I do have a .44 magnum that will blow a cat in half. No reason why I should put up with that bullshiat from a cat, or from anything else, really. Neither should you.

This is the first, and hopefully last, time I hear someone claim they need a handgun for protection from house cats. You gun nuts are out of control.

Seriously speaking, if you cat goes on some kind of rampage and you decide that's a good reason to pull out a .44, you should not be allowed to own a gun ever again.


If a .44 is the most ready to hand, which it has been known to be, that's what you use. As for the cat, if it goes violently crazy, it's either defective or rabid. Either way, what you do is kill it. Saves everyone headaches. A cat shot with a .44 magnum dies instantly and never knows what hit it. A cat beaten to death with a stick, OTH...
 
2014-07-08 01:56:41 PM  
forgotmydamnusername: I do have a .44 magnum that will blow a cat in half. No reason why I should put up with that bullshiat from a cat, or from anything else, really

Seriously. Those neighborhood kids and nagging girlfriends better watch the fark out.
 
2014-07-08 02:07:17 PM  
photos1.blogger.com
 
2014-07-08 02:29:20 PM  

Seraphym: forgotmydamnusername: LowbrowDeluxe: powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?

All I can say is, try it sometime.  My ex-wife had a feral rescue that was fine for years, then got knocked up (I know, I know).  Soon as she had the kittens she reverted to feral hard.  Cats are no joke when they're seriously willing to fark you up but you don't want to do the same.

There's your problem. I no longer have the hand speed to knock a hostile animal into next week without getting the shiat bit out of me, but I do have a .44 magnum that will blow a cat in half. No reason why I should put up with that bullshiat from a cat, or from anything else, really. Neither should you.

Rocco?

[cdn.ebaumsworld.com image 473x200]


TELL ME THE NAME OF THAT F*CKING CAT AND I SWEAR TO CHRIST I WILL KILL MYSELF!

dpaul007: mike_d85: This thread is hilarious.
"Cats are viscous and you are helpless against them!"
"Cats are tiny! Me smash cat!"

I love picturing a cat-shaped blob on the floor, slithering towards its next victim.

Oh, and cats can be vicious, too.

/tmyk


Well... they did argue that they were agile and impossible to hold.
 
2014-07-08 02:39:40 PM  

Radioactive Ass: Five to six weeks. Snag the ones that you can in that time frame. Too soon to be getting taught by Hisss to be feral and easy to catch using any simple cat toy, late enough to be given soft cat food instead of Hisss milk. I had an agreement with my local pet store that would basically sell them for what it cost them to have it deloused, looked over by a vet and initial vaccinations done as well as a free spay/neuter later on. About $100 out the door for the new owner. Not a lot different than the local ASPCA but around here they are like PETA nazi's in their "Selection" process which quite honestly can't be pleasant for the animal.

Seriously. If the baby animal isn't getting all Hisss on you when you first meet it it will be fine as long as you don't abuse it, keep it fed and provide a clean litter box. My last cat was a feral that I scooped up that was darting out from under a dumpster into the street. He was just fine.


I got a phone number from my vet to call about the babby Hissers, so they may be able to take them. Just waiting for a call back. That makes me feel somewhat better.

Thanks for the idea about the pet shop - I hadn't considered that. There are a couple around here I could try if none of the rescues will take them. I'm tapped out on my cat fund this month between patching up my boy and grabbing Sir Earl, who turned out to be Lady Earl. I'm batting zero with determining gender of cats found in my yard. When I manage to trap Hisss! she'll probably turn out to be a hermaphrodite cat, just to spite me.

Cold_Sassy: Most of the time male cats will kill kittens, whether they're "theirs" or not.  That is most likely her issue.


There is a big tom that wanders the neighborhood, but the kittens bounce right up to them and she's cool with it. He's been here for years and seems to be too savvy to trap - I've tried. I would not be surprised if not only was he the dadcat, but that he told her where to go to find food and lots of hiding places for their little Hissers. Any other living thing that comes in my yard is a potential threat though and she's having none of it. (Except for this one raccoon, but it's bigger than her and growls back, so she lets that one slide) So Gogh Beastie and Lady Earl are indoors only now no matter how much they beg to go out.
 
2014-07-08 02:54:49 PM  

powhound: I don't understand this. It's a cat. What's next, being terrorized by gerbils?


"Sid is vicious!"

/not obscure
 
2014-07-08 03:11:16 PM  
Relax, I got this.

videos.animalist.com

/surprised no one posted this yet
 
2014-07-08 03:31:08 PM  

karmachameleon: WRONG. Now I have the utmost respect for their speed, strength, agility, escapability, tenacity, claws and teeth. I took stitches and shots, furniture and curtains were replaced, walls were repainted, many knick-knacks were lost. The carnage was unreal.


This is one of the funniest things I've ever read on Fark.
 
2014-07-08 04:33:26 PM  

ElPollotonto: Russian Blues are one of the nastier cat breeds I have seen.


Horseshiat.

We have two Blues, one of them a kid of the other one.  The mother (Lucy-Fur; don't ask) is one of the sweetest cats we have and will happily jump in your lap, massage you, and fall asleep kneading and purring the whole time.  Even to total strangers.  The kid (Chubby-Wubby, he is a big farker, and I don't mean fat) is even nicer than she is.  He'll play with you, never have claws out but will just place his teeth on your hand with no pressure when he's done.  Rubs up all over you, speaks when he wants water from the tap (actual English, no joke), loves his belly scratched, and will come up and greet you like a dog when we come home from work, loves being rubbed even backwards against the fur.

So tell me how these two are nasty just based on their breed?  Russians are generally considered to be one of the nicest ones out there.
 
2014-07-08 04:42:54 PM  
So this happened July 5?

Wonder if fireworks all night made the cat snap?
 
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