If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(BBC-US)   "Bad news, honey. Hackers remotely turned off my birth control chip and now I'm pregnant"   (bbc.com) divider line 65
    More: Scary, remote controls, quoted-printable  
•       •       •

3782 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Jul 2014 at 4:09 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-07-07 02:13:04 PM  
Or worse, you're now part of a baby-making botnet army.
 
2014-07-07 02:32:39 PM  
 computer chip that can be controlled by remote control

Developed by the Redundancy Center for Redundancy.
 
2014-07-07 03:02:17 PM  
What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?
 
2014-07-07 03:10:12 PM  
I wonder if they can add a mute feature to that remote control?
 
2014-07-07 03:36:55 PM  
"Communication with the implant has to occur at skin contact level distance,"

Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do.
 
2014-07-07 04:11:20 PM  
I would like this to be tower defense-style deal where the implants have to shoot all the sperm before it reaches the egg.
 
2014-07-07 04:15:55 PM  
They need to do way instain mother.
 
2014-07-07 04:17:53 PM  
RoboCrotch.
 
2014-07-07 04:21:17 PM  

browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?


I live with my mom (intentional filterpwnage)

But really, what's so difficult with wearing a condom? What's so difficult about getting a vasectomy?
 
2014-07-07 04:25:04 PM  
So when do men get the valve/waste gate attached to the vas deferens?

/I want my balls to make a sound like a turbocharger winding up.
 
2014-07-07 04:25:58 PM  

browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?


Nice username/comment
 
2014-07-07 04:27:05 PM  
"A small electric charge melts an ultra-thin seal around the levonorgestrel, releasing the 30 microgram dose into the body."

So... even if the electronics have good security, if you can induce a general current in the chip you can probably make it release all the drug? Yeah, that is going to end well.
 
2014-07-07 04:31:09 PM  

Bajtaur: "A small electric charge melts an ultra-thin seal around the levonorgestrel, releasing the 30 microgram dose into the body."

So... even if the electronics have good security, if you can induce a general current in the chip you can probably make it release all the drug? Yeah, that is going to end well.


Or failing that, create a large enough EM field to fry the chip and make it stop working.  Although the article talks about this being a thing for 3rd world women.  For a lot of them, 95% birth control is a lot better than the nothing they have right now.
 
2014-07-07 04:31:49 PM  

browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?


because that's not its point. It's point is to sterilize poor women under the guise of liberating rich ones.
 
2014-07-07 04:32:48 PM  
669, Mark of the Slut
 
2014-07-07 04:35:13 PM  

Crudbucket: I would like this to be tower defense-style deal where the implants have to shoot all the sperm before it reaches the egg.


breakout, or maybe the end of vanguard where you shoot your rocket's payload on the dace of Gond
 
2014-07-07 04:36:30 PM  

worlddan: browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?

because that's not its point. It's point is to sterilize poor women under the guise of liberating rich ones.


The ability for women to decide when to have children has been by and large one of the greatest equalizers of power in the world, and has lead to populations in First World countries leveling off and in some cases even dropping.

Having easier access to the ability to control your own reproductive system will be a good thing.
 
2014-07-07 04:38:09 PM  

browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?


Anything at all, thus foisting 18 years of responsibility on someone who can't even manage a pill every day?
 
2014-07-07 04:39:03 PM  

NewWorldDan: Or failing that, create a large enough EM field to fry the chip and make it stop working. Although the article talks about this being a thing for 3rd world women. For a lot of them, 95% birth control is a lot better than the nothing they have right now.


So if you can get a big enough magnetic cock ring, you can bypass your woman's uterus security?

BRILLIANT
 
2014-07-07 04:39:07 PM  
that's what you get for setting the password to 12345
 
2014-07-07 04:43:19 PM  
meat0918:
The ability for women to decide when to have children has been by and large one of the greatest equalizers of power in the world

I don't dispute that truth but your assertion assumes that 2014 Ghana is the social and cultural equivalent of 1950s USA. It is not. Do you really want these objects to be given out to groups like Boko Harem under the guise of a humanitarian liberation of women? Don't make a joke.

The fundamental truth is that many woman in the third world aren't free to choose in the first instance and throwing technology at them in that environment is going to lead to more repression, not less.
 
2014-07-07 04:47:35 PM  
Seems like a great way to murder someone. Just have the thing release all its drugs at once.
 
2014-07-07 04:47:40 PM  

worlddan: The fundamental truth is that many woman in the third world aren't free to choose in the first instance and throwing technology at them in that environment is going to lead to more repression, not less.



thanks, SCOTUS.
 
2014-07-07 04:48:18 PM  

worlddan: meat0918:
The ability for women to decide when to have children has been by and large one of the greatest equalizers of power in the world

I don't dispute that truth but your assertion assumes that 2014 Ghana is the social and cultural equivalent of 1950s USA. It is not. Do you really want these objects to be given out to groups like Boko Harem under the guise of a humanitarian liberation of women? Don't make a joke.

The fundamental truth is that many woman in the third world aren't free to choose in the first instance and throwing technology at them in that environment is going to lead to more repression, not less.


I had indeed thought of that and had images running through my head of women that had had these devices forcibly removed.

Fortunately, Boko Haram and similar groups are not everywhere in Africa.  It's a big continent, with many countries, some more progressive than others.
 
2014-07-07 04:50:01 PM  
Hackers have been putting their fingers where they don't belong.
 
2014-07-07 04:51:48 PM  
But I thought Fleshlight(tm) had cornered the market on robopussy?
 
2014-07-07 04:54:00 PM  
The mark of the Beast!
 
2014-07-07 04:54:33 PM  

uttertosh: What's so difficult about getting a vasectomy?


The damned frozen peas. At least it was for me.

/Seriously why is it always peas they recommend to calm the swelling?
 
2014-07-07 04:55:30 PM  

browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?


They're poisonous as shiat, that's what. (This chip doesn't resolve that problem though because it's the same poisonous shiat.)
 
2014-07-07 04:56:33 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?

They're poisonous as shiat, that's what. (This chip doesn't resolve that problem though because it's the same poisonous shiat.)


The dose is what makes the poison.
 
2014-07-07 04:57:30 PM  
Damn, if you just shoot the Goo in her face, you don't have to worry about this crap, plus you get a pic for Instagram!
 
2014-07-07 04:58:44 PM  

worlddan: meat0918:
The ability for women to decide when to have children has been by and large one of the greatest equalizers of power in the world

I don't dispute that truth but your assertion assumes that 2014 Ghana is the social and cultural equivalent of 1950s USA. It is not. Do you really want these objects to be given out to groups like Boko Harem under the guise of a humanitarian liberation of women? Don't make a joke.

The fundamental truth is that many woman in the third world aren't free to choose in the first instance and throwing technology at them in that environment is going to lead to more repression, not less.


check your privilege. not being baby machines helps women in 3rd world countries immeasurably.
 
2014-07-07 05:00:12 PM  

Crudbucket: I would like this to be tower defense-style deal where the implants have to shoot all the sperm before it reaches the egg.


You just gave me a great idea for my next game jam game.
 
2014-07-07 05:12:03 PM  

PillsHere: Crudbucket: I would like this to be tower defense-style deal where the implants have to shoot all the sperm before it reaches the egg.

You just gave me a great idea for my next game jam game.


Post the Kickstarter here -- sell shares in the game lol
 
2014-07-07 05:15:08 PM  

LucklessWonder: uttertosh: What's so difficult about getting a vasectomy?

The damned frozen peas. At least it was for me.

/Seriously why is it always peas they recommend to calm the swelling?


because frozen broccoli would be rediculous.   I imagine it is because of the geography of the region, peas being small and spherical, it would occupy the space to actually generate contact on the swelling region.  Opposed to a flat piece of ice/ freeze pack.
 
2014-07-07 05:16:49 PM  

browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?


You have to remember to take it every damn morning, no matter what? I'm on a pill right now and I've tried to incorporate it into my routine but sometimes I forget.
 
2014-07-07 05:19:27 PM  

uttertosh: But really, what's so difficult with wearing a condom? What's so difficult about getting a vasectomy?


You realize a vasectomy is mostly irreversible, right? My doctor told me that the reversal procedure is only about 50% successful. Putting something back together is a lot harder than breaking it.
 
2014-07-07 05:19:31 PM  

browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?


When there is a male contraceptive pill or something equivalent, I predict there will be some smart remarks made.
 
2014-07-07 05:21:38 PM  

ampoliros: So when do men get the valve/waste gate attached to the vas deferens?

/I want my balls to make a sound like a turbocharger winding up.


Surfing around, I came across a reversible male contraceptive, although  installation and reversing required outpatient procedures.  It was a gel put into the vas deferens that change the electric charge on your sperm, causing them to self destruct.

This isn't where I first read it but probably refers to the same thing:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reversible_inhibition_of_sperm_under_gu id ance

/to reverse they squeeze the gel out of the vas.  Um, toothpaste like?
//hope they don't start the the middle
 
2014-07-07 05:23:36 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

Of course, you were banging a sex robot with more open ports than a sorority pledge!
 
2014-07-07 05:24:40 PM  
Maybe some scientist got tired of saying "Sorry honey, I meant to pull out, but the phone rang and it startled me"
 
2014-07-07 05:26:02 PM  

vudukungfu: worlddan: The fundamental truth is that many woman in the third world aren't free to choose in the first instance and throwing technology at them in that environment is going to lead to more repression, not less.


thanks, SCOTUS.


Did you be SCROTUS?
 
2014-07-07 05:46:37 PM  

browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?


Apparently the same thing that's really difficult about setting my thermostat or remembering whether I need to buy milk.
 
2014-07-07 05:54:44 PM  
Oh, goody. Same ol' stuff (hormones for women to take) again just a shiny new delivery method. Wake me when there is an actual *new* development in birth control. Like a chip embedded into a man's testicles that shoots a sperm destroying laser as a man ejaculates.
 
2014-07-07 06:08:20 PM  

uttertosh: browneye: What's so difficult about just taking the damn pill each morning?

I live with my mom (intentional filterpwnage)

But really, what's so difficult with wearing a condom? What's so difficult about getting a vasectomy?


I think browneye is a bit of an idiot here, but there are a few big differences.

Pill - Once a month typically, also supposedly helps out quite a bit with feminine problems
Condom - New one every single time you want to get busy
Vasectomy - Surgery doesn't exactly get anywhere near taking an oral pill or putting on a rubber in terms of similarities...

End of the day though, it's your choice though what you do/use.
 
2014-07-07 06:19:44 PM  

Shostie:  computer chip that can be controlled by remote control

Developed by the Redundancy Center for Redundancy.


Not actually redundant. Similarly, "The walk-in walked into the walk-in closet to check his coat before dinner" is not redundant. It's worded a bit awkwardly, but it's not redundant.
 
2014-07-07 06:38:36 PM  

ManateeGag: that's what you get for setting the password to 12345


feo.us
 
2014-07-07 06:51:00 PM  
Hackers can turn your womb into a BOMB!
 
2014-07-07 06:56:40 PM  

Miss5280: Oh, goody. Same ol' stuff (hormones for women to take) again just a shiny new delivery method. Wake me when there is an actual *new* development in birth control. Like a chip embedded into a man's testicles that shoots a sperm destroying laser as a man ejaculates.


Men don't get pragnent.

The ultimate responsibility for contraception is always going to fall on women.

/I hope I don't come across as a sexist tosser, because I'm not, and I've tried to write this post in the most factual, laconic way that I can.
 
2014-07-07 07:13:42 PM  

craigzy: ManateeGag: that's what you get for setting the password to 12345

[feo.us image 220x119]


"That's amazing!  I have that same combination on my luggage!"

/leaving satisfied
 
Displayed 50 of 65 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report