Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Larry Brown Sports)   The media crucifixion of Johnny Football continues, as he's photographed innocently rolling up a dollar in a Vegas bathroom. Not to do coke or anything   (larrybrownsports.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Johnny Manziel  
•       •       •

3240 clicks; posted to Sports » on 07 Jul 2014 at 2:37 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-07-07 11:28:55 AM  
No Coke! Pepsi!
 
2014-07-07 12:45:00 PM  
Meh, sucks to say this, but even if this picture is accurate, he'll survive well into his 30's, propped up by parasites and sycophants... as long as he remembers to show up for the game.

The crap will hit the fan when age dictates his body can no longer juggle the physicality of the game, the guaranteed residual injuries...eventually if he survives, he retires, and his previously loyal, no-tell dealer kicks him to the curb for better parties and the next celebrity buyer connection.

He's welcome to prove me wrong with his gameplay, but he's off to an inauspicious beginning. He's gonna be that guy.
 
2014-07-07 01:37:41 PM  

corq: Meh, sucks to say this, but even if this picture is accurate, he'll survive well into his 30's, propped up by parasites and sycophants... as long as he remembers to show up for the game.


His career could be quite short if he insists on snorting white lines.
 
2014-07-07 01:50:11 PM  

corq: Meh, sucks to say this, but even if this picture is accurate, he'll survive well into his 30's, propped up by parasites and sycophants... as long as he remembers to show up for the game.

The crap will hit the fan when age dictates his body can no longer juggle the physicality of the game, the guaranteed residual injuries...eventually if he survives, he retires, and his previously loyal, no-tell dealer kicks him to the curb for better parties and the next celebrity buyer connection.

He's welcome to prove me wrong with his gameplay, but he's off to an inauspicious beginning. He's gonna be that guy.


Nah, I am predicting a fail of Ryan Leaf proportions
 
2014-07-07 02:01:26 PM  
There's a straw in the drink that is in front of him that he could cut. Amateur!
 
2014-07-07 02:01:30 PM  

NuttierThanEver: corq: Meh, sucks to say this, but even if this picture is accurate, he'll survive well into his 30's, propped up by parasites and sycophants... as long as he remembers to show up for the game.

The crap will hit the fan when age dictates his body can no longer juggle the physicality of the game, the guaranteed residual injuries...eventually if he survives, he retires, and his previously loyal, no-tell dealer kicks him to the curb for better parties and the next celebrity buyer connection.

He's welcome to prove me wrong with his gameplay, but he's off to an inauspicious beginning. He's gonna be that guy.

Nah, I am predicting a fail of Ryan Leaf proportions


Being a Bengals fan, I'm hoping for expecting it.
 
2014-07-07 02:30:30 PM  
In his defense, he could have been using it to snort heroin.
 
2014-07-07 02:41:55 PM  
On second though, joke probably works better with mdma or something. I think a line of heroin would probably kill you, a la Pulp Fiction.
 
2014-07-07 02:43:56 PM  

kbronsito: There's a straw in the drink that is in front of him that he could cut. Amateur!


Hmm...assuming he never used the straw to drink the drink.  Otherwise that would be a waste of the Devil's candy.
 
2014-07-07 02:46:55 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: In his defense, he could have been using it to snort heroin.


Heroin isn't the type of thing you'd be snorting in the bathroom at a party, though. It's not really a party drug. Same with meth.

And, holy shiat does snorting crystal meth hurt.
 
2014-07-07 02:46:59 PM  
Funny comment from Profootballtalk regarding the photo:

He obviously is making an antenna for his money phone.
 
2014-07-07 02:47:13 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-07 02:49:35 PM  

kbronsito: There's a straw in the drink that is in front of him that he could cut. Amateur!


He was probably afraid that their would be liquid/moisture in the straw.  Or didn't have any scissors on him.
 
2014-07-07 02:50:02 PM  
I'd say that college players shouldn't touch cocaine before their pro debut, but I'd just get accused of being Biased.
 
2014-07-07 02:51:59 PM  

drumhellar: tallguywithglasseson: In his defense, he could have been using it to snort heroin.

Heroin isn't the type of thing you'd be snorting in the bathroom at a party, though. It's not really a party drug. Same with meth.

And, holy shiat does snorting crystal meth hurt.


i188.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-07 02:54:05 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: His career could be quite short if he insists on snorting white lines.


Or he could become a Hall of Famer...

blacksportsonline.com
 
2014-07-07 02:55:22 PM  
So how does this kid get away with drinking everywhere?

He's not 21 yet right?
 
2014-07-07 03:01:06 PM  
Yeah but the King is gonna come home so Cleveland's got that goin' for 'em.
 
2014-07-07 03:02:05 PM  
I have 20-1 odds that Johnny Footblow will be seen in a picture w/ Lindsay Lohan.

10-1 odds a sex tape of him surfaces in the next 18 months.

50-1 odds of a sex tape w/ Johnny Footblow & Lindsay Lohan.

Place your bets now! Call 1-555-555-SOWB right now!
 
2014-07-07 03:04:04 PM  
Why isn't he doing keybumps in the stall like a normal person?
 
2014-07-07 03:04:11 PM  

stappawho: So how does this kid get away with drinking everywhere?

He's not 21 yet right?


He's 21 but it's cute you think they wouldn't let him drink or attend 21+ parties. When Michael Jordans sons were playing at UCF, I would see the young one at clubs all the time. He was 19 at the time. The guys who own and run these places could give two farks about the drinking age if it's a huge star there.
 
2014-07-07 03:08:08 PM  

EyeballKid: I'd say that college players shouldn't touch cocaine before their pro debut, but I'd just get accused of being Biased.


LOL! I'm Cracking up at your comment.
 
2014-07-07 03:13:23 PM  

EyeballKid: I'd say that college players shouldn't touch cocaine before their pro debut, but I'd just get accused of being Biased.


And were done here, nicely done.
 
2014-07-07 03:15:05 PM  
Do we know how tightly he rolled the bill? As far as I could tell, no one at the combine thought to measure his nostril size, which obviously is going to affect how much air he can intake into his lungs, affecting his stamina on the field.

This is need-to-know information before my first fantasy draft in two weeks; I'm seriously considering taking him in the 28th round as my fourth string QB.
 
2014-07-07 03:15:22 PM  
Keep a low profile
Take full year off from partying. You're making enough money to justify the sacrifice.
Every minute of the day, ask yourself "Can I use this time to study the playbook or game film?"
Earn the starting job,
Win some games,
Show some progress towards becoming the franchise guy and show that there's more than hype.

Then you can take a few weeks off every now and again and party like a rock star and as long as there's rape, murder or cocaine involved, no one will care.


Why is that so hard?
 
2014-07-07 03:15:26 PM  
"Booger sugar" is a hell of a drug.
 
2014-07-07 03:18:36 PM  
You need to cocaine to take the edge off the cattle horomones
 
2014-07-07 03:22:14 PM  
People, people, people, let's not jump to conclusions here.
He was just duking the men's room attendant. Yeah, that's the ticket.

/Browns fan
//This is going to be a disaster
///Even by Cleveland sports standards
 
2014-07-07 03:23:13 PM  

tigerhoods.com



Approves.



lulz at not using a trimmed McDonalds size straw. Gotta get that girth.
 
2014-07-07 03:24:58 PM  

Snapper Carr: Then you can take a few weeks off every now and again and party like a rock star and as long as there's rape, murder or cocaine involved, no one will care.



o_O
 
2014-07-07 03:25:47 PM  
Wow he had a dollar in his hand in a bathroom. This is about has bad as the Ha Ha Clinton Dix napkin controversy.
 
2014-07-07 03:27:16 PM  
It doesn't really change much - but the photo is from Austin - not Vegas (although later that weekend he was in Vegas)

You hope this is a horrible attempt at humor.  That's the best case scenario.
 
rka
2014-07-07 03:31:46 PM  

Snapper Carr: Keep a low profile
Take full year off from partying. You're making enough money to justify the sacrifice.
Every minute of the day, ask yourself "Can I use this time to study the playbook or game film?"
Earn the starting job,
Win some games,
Show some progress towards becoming the franchise guy and show that there's more than hype.

Then you can take a few weeks off every now and again and party like a rock star and as long as there's rape, murder or cocaine involved, no one will care.


Why is that so hard?


The kid comes from money. There is no need to keep his nose clean to win a big contract, he's set for life even before his 1st round contract comes to a close. Franchise guy? Who cares? Some fan on the internet? Who's that bozo?
 
2014-07-07 03:32:02 PM  

WienerButt: stappawho: So how does this kid get away with drinking everywhere?

He's not 21 yet right?

He's 21 but it's cute you think they wouldn't let him drink or attend 21+ parties. When Michael Jordans sons were playing at UCF, I would see the young one at clubs all the time. He was 19 at the time. The guys who own and run these places could give two farks about the drinking age if it's a huge star there.


I still remember Eric Gordon destroying Jordan's sons in high school.  Terrifying stuff.  And now Gordon is nobody, practically (always hurt).

Ah, where have all the flowers gone, what happened to the snows that fell, etc.
 
2014-07-07 03:33:11 PM  

EyeballKid: I'd say that college players shouldn't touch cocaine before their pro debut, but I'd just get accused of being Biased.


t3.gstatic.com

BILLY MAYS HERE TO SAY YOUR COMMENT IS AWESOME!
 
2014-07-07 03:34:07 PM  
What an ugly chain.
 
2014-07-07 03:40:23 PM  

kbronsito: There's a straw in the drink that is in front of him that he could cut. Amateur!


Exactly, he may never have tried it once and he's going to drop it for the future.  No problem.
 
2014-07-07 03:58:06 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: WienerButt: stappawho: So how does this kid get away with drinking everywhere?

He's not 21 yet right?

He's 21 but it's cute you think they wouldn't let him drink or attend 21+ parties. When Michael Jordans sons were playing at UCF, I would see the young one at clubs all the time. He was 19 at the time. The guys who own and run these places could give two farks about the drinking age if it's a huge star there.

I still remember Eric Gordon destroying Jordan's sons in high school.  Terrifying stuff.  And now Gordon is nobody, practically (always hurt).

Ah, where have all the flowers gone, what happened to the snows that fell, etc.


He's more than the Jordans, who don't play pro.
 
2014-07-07 04:00:22 PM  

MisterLoki: Why isn't he doing keybumps in the stall like a normal person?


Keys jingle and make noise. Everyone knows what you are doing in the stall when they hear keys. Use the leg of one of your sunglasses as a scoop instead. Of course... someone who was rolling dollar bills at the sink instead of doing it at the stall, probably doesn't care about being low-key about this.
 
2014-07-07 04:06:58 PM  
"Crucifixion" = judging poor behavior.
 
2014-07-07 04:12:55 PM  
Sure, rolling the dollar bill is suspicious, but anyone else notice how (in the bathroom/dollar pic) he has tucked in that "blingtastic" necklace so it doesn't scatter the mirror dust. If anything it's more condemning than the dollar IMO.

/don't ask why I notice such things
 
2014-07-07 04:18:15 PM  
It might just be adderall
 
2014-07-07 04:25:56 PM  
The red eyes and the gnarley coke whore on his arm didn't already give it away?

At least you can tell he didn't go to an SEC school; it's not a $1 bill.
 
2014-07-07 04:27:35 PM  

Straight Outta Wells Branch: I have 20-1 odds that Johnny Footblow will be seen in a picture w/ Lindsay Lohan.

10-1 odds a sex tape of him surfaces in the next 18 months.

50-1 odds of a sex tape w/ Johnny Footblow & Lindsay Lohan.

Place your bets now! Call 1-555-555-SOWB right now!


Why, in the wide world of sports would Manziel be interested in a disease-ridden skank like Lohan?  He could just as easily blow his millions on a younger variety of skank (and, oh yeah, there's a shot of him kissing one right in the article).  Speaking of which, does she look excited to being smooched by Johnny Football?

You know, I'm really disappointed in Manziel.  Doesn't he realize you have the blow delivered to your hotel room and use the men's room to rape college girls, if you're trying to establish your NFL starting QB cred?
 
2014-07-07 04:29:54 PM  

kbronsito: Use the leg of one of your sunglasses as a scoop instead.


This is a good protip.
 
2014-07-07 04:30:04 PM  

macadamnut: The red eyes and the gnarley coke whore on his arm didn't already give it away?

At least you can tell he didn't go to an SEC school; it's not a $1 bill.


He did go to an SEC school.
 
2014-07-07 04:33:08 PM  
Am I the only one who sees what might be a (horizontal) line laid out on the sink at the bottom of the pic (juuuuust inside the mirror-frame, dead center)?

Anyway, the second an almost-pro starts getting too big for their britches, you know either an injury or a personal problem (drugs, fighting, an ongoing history of domestic abuse) will derail their career within 5 years.

Personally, I'm laughing at the fact the NFL didn't learn this lesson 4 times in the last decade (JaWalrus, Vince Young, Sanchize, Leinart), and wondering why pictures of those 4 (plus Leaf, and Couch, and so many others) aren't hanging in every front office and above every rookie's locker.

// "No, Johhny - you're different. You're special. You're not going to flame out in a heap of self-aggrandizement, your name (and nickname) becoming the punchline to every joke about not living up to expectations. We love you here in the NFL, and we'd never toss you aside like a thrice-concussed veteran."
 
2014-07-07 04:35:20 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: I_Am_Weasel: His career could be quite short if he insists on snorting white lines.

Or he could become a Hall of Famer...

[blacksportsonline.com image 300x410]


'bout 6 years ago I got excited because Dexter Manley was the GOH at my son;s Youth League Football kick off ceremonies and DL was one of the first Redskins I remember knowing by name and rooting for in person.   I was about the same age my son was then  (say 13) and I idolized dexter.  Needless to say it was really tragic to see the broken shell of a man he'd become in the decades since
 
2014-07-07 04:35:34 PM  

Snapper Carr: Keep a low profile
Take full year off from partying. You're making enough money to justify the sacrifice.
Every minute of the day, ask yourself "Can I use this time to study the playbook or game film?"
Earn the starting job,
Win some games,
Show some progress towards becoming the franchise guy and show that there's more than hype.

Then you can take a few weeks off every now and again and party like a rock star and as long as there's rape, murder or cocaine involved, no one will care.


Why is that so hard?


Because guys like Johnny Football literally do not know an existence where they're not treated like a rock star or expected to act like one. They've been "star" players since they started playing organized football while in middle school, and it only got worse as they got older and better and started seriously thinking about a college and professional football career.
 
2014-07-07 04:36:16 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: On second though, joke probably works better with mdma or something. I think a line of heroin would probably kill you, a la Pulp Fiction.


Years ago, before it became a term for home-brewed fentanyl, China White was a heroin formulation intended to be snorted.
 
Displayed 50 of 91 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report