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(Daily Mail)   Fear mongering British 'expert' warns against public complacency by alerting everyone to the devilish skills of terrorists able to turn ordinary cellphones into bombs. OMG, your smartphone is ticking   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 45
    More: Unlikely  
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2714 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2014 at 1:41 PM (12 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-06 11:57:41 AM
Old Lady T-T-T-TERRORIST!
Harold: No, ma'am. He's not a terrorist, he's just an idiot.
Kumar: It's not a bomb, it's a bong!
Male Passenger: He's got a bomb!
Male Passenger: He's gonna blow up the plane!

img.fark.net
 
2014-07-06 01:45:06 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-06 01:46:02 PM
My smartphone is ticking?  I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!111!11!!1!!
 
2014-07-06 01:46:25 PM
You can build a bomb with crap in the convenience store after the TSA fondles your balls.
 
2014-07-06 01:50:56 PM
Don't call me.
 
2014-07-06 01:54:16 PM
What the hell is wrong with his forehead?  He looks like his hair is trying to run away.
 
2014-07-06 01:57:27 PM

Bonobo62: What the hell is wrong with his forehead?  He looks like his hair is trying to run away.


Hat tan?
 
2014-07-06 01:59:13 PM
i.kinja-img.com
 
2014-07-06 02:00:18 PM
Simple solution: Detain everyone with a cell phone and beat them until they confess.
 
2014-07-06 02:02:40 PM
Is this real? That guy looks a lot like Eric Idle.
 
2014-07-06 02:02:59 PM

Jaden Smith First of His Name: You can build a bomb with crap in the convenience store after the TSA fondles your balls.


Alkaizer and a coke bottle. A piece of sodium and some water. Magnesium and a lighter. Steel wool and a 9volt battery. A magnifying glass.

/ chemistry 1 was great; my teacher paired us up 1 mol to 1 femol
 
2014-07-06 02:05:07 PM
Meh. The next successful attack will be with butt bombs, coont inserted bombs, or surgically inserted bombs.
 
2014-07-06 02:06:10 PM
There's an app for that.
 
2014-07-06 02:11:03 PM
CITIZENS: SUBMIT YOUR CELL PHONES TO THE NEAREST AUTHORITY FOR INSPECTION. (we swear we arent just going to install spyware and steal nude pics)

Please be home on monday between 10am and 4pm as crews will be going door to door blunting sharp edges and points on all kitchen utensils.
 
2014-07-06 02:16:42 PM

nytmare: [i.kinja-img.com image 636x358]


Everyone knows that is why you don't leave the 'turbo' button on when the computer is unattended.
 
2014-07-06 02:17:14 PM

mark12A: Meh. The next successful attack will be with butt bombs, coont inserted bombs, or surgically inserted bombs.


Hillary Clinton wanted for questioning.
 
2014-07-06 02:17:49 PM
million dollar idea given away for free

clock ticking cell phone ring....its your call.
 
GBB
2014-07-06 02:29:35 PM
sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net
Modern bombs don't tick.
 
2014-07-06 02:53:26 PM
'This has resulted in complacency amongst some of the public which is seriously disturbing. It is simply foolish to believe that the threat is either minimal or now behind us.'

The risk of hijacking has certainly fallen. Someone tried it recently and the passengers responded in a way that you'd expect now - they stormed him and pinned him down. The 9/11 attacks basically farked hijacking. You're either going to be knocked down by passengers and arrested, or the passengers will force the plane into a field like United 93. That means that even if you're a martyr, you'll get no coverage for your cause.

Ultimately, there isn't much you can do about sick murdering farks. The killers of Lee Rigby were two men who used knives and cleavers - stuff you can get from Tesco and Ikea. You arrest them, try them and jail them and don't let them out, like any other sick, murdering farks. You can infiltrate networks, try and stop it getting organised and major crimes occuring, but even that is never going to be successful.

And it's worth remembering - these people do not threaten nations, only a tiny proportion of all the people of that nation. Cancer kills on a scale that terrorism can't even get close to. Even in 2001, deaths in cars exceeded those from terrorism.
 
2014-07-06 03:00:25 PM

nytmare: [i.kinja-img.com image 636x358]


Thank you for posting that. I cannot believe how easy it is to fearmonger the populace into submission.
 
2014-07-06 03:17:26 PM
ITT: A guy who knows how nothing works educates us on the future.
 
2014-07-06 03:22:55 PM

TV's Vinnie: nytmare: [i.kinja-img.com image 636x358]

Thank you for posting that. I cannot believe how easy it is to fearmonger the populace into submission.


It's like 1992 all over again! But that was Weekly World News -- most people know better.
 
2014-07-06 03:35:15 PM
'Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers readers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?'
 
2014-07-06 03:38:29 PM
img.fark.net


...And that's why you need a Class III Explosives permit to own a 51/4  drive these days.


===========================================

www.samsung.com

The Samsung Galaxy S III battery holds 2100 mAh.  That's probably enough to blow a hole in your skull if it somehow managed to release all that energy at once when it was held right against your head, but I don't think enough to bring down a jumbo jet.

This reminds me of stories about Mossad replacing PLO cell phones with identical ones that work but blow up when receiving a call from a preset number.
 
2014-07-06 03:44:46 PM
 
2014-07-06 04:09:26 PM

GBB: [sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net image 720x330]
Modern bombs don't tick.


Of course, we can never imply ownership of said dildo. Always THE dildo, never YOUR dildo.....
 
2014-07-06 04:13:52 PM

bingethinker: Is this real? That guy looks a lot like Eric Idle.


Or the guy who plays the headmaster for the school for naughty milfs. Not that I've seen the movie. Or the series. Or bought the lunch box and t-shirt.

Of course, the real Eric Idle isn't sunburned because he came back from holiday before all the "security tightening" went into effect. Coincidence?


i.dailymail.co.ukencrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2014-07-06 04:21:38 PM
Do you wanna build a timebomb?
Doesn't have to be a timebomb...

Okay, bye.
 
2014-07-06 04:58:44 PM
forums.everythingicafe.com

He's right folks. So the next time you see someone with a comically large cell phone, tackle him immediately and call for the FBI as fast as possible! That guy above isn't dialing his buddy, he's inputting the detonation code!
 
2014-07-06 05:04:56 PM
Why would a law abiding citizen need to worry anyway?
 
2014-07-06 05:07:59 PM
Thanks to the americans i have to have a charged phone when I board a plane now. But wait a second! Why would I go to the US?! Okay nevermind.
 
2014-07-06 05:27:31 PM
Anyone remember the last iteration of "The Invisible Man" TV show? I seem to recall the bad guys loading explosives into a bunch of security guards' walkie-talkies.
 
2014-07-06 05:38:38 PM
You mean I have more to worry about from my phone than just having it dry my nads out by keeping it in my pants pocket?
 
2014-07-06 05:39:39 PM

mark12A: Meh. The next successful attack will be with butt bombs, coont inserted bombs, or surgically inserted bombs.


He said he'd fill me with a bright light...

/this is not farking obscure
 
2014-07-06 06:05:31 PM
Didn't the Israelis do this already by putting C4 in a terrorist's phone, then call him up and say Whazzup?
 
2014-07-06 06:06:54 PM
But I happen to like the emperor's new clothes.
 
2014-07-06 06:22:30 PM
Of course my phone is ticking, I've got a metronome app. I turn it down to 60 bpm as a meditation cue.
 
2014-07-06 07:15:11 PM

Iczer: [forums.everythingicafe.com image 300x180]

He's right folks. So the next time you see someone with a comically large cell phone, tackle him immediately and call for the FBI as fast as possible! That guy above isn't dialing his buddy, he's inputting the detonation code!


www.themoviescene.co.uk
On the case.....
 
2014-07-06 07:28:52 PM
Blackberry sues for copyright infringement
 
2014-07-06 07:29:20 PM

Nick Nostril: having it dry my nads


????
 
2014-07-07 02:03:16 AM
Don't take proactive measures and something happens: you should have seen this coming and prevented it. Do take proactive measures and nothing happens: you're overreacting because nothing has happened in years. Sigh. Choose which path you want and follow it, just don't biatch about the natural consequences that result.
 
2014-07-07 06:49:52 AM

farkeruk:  Even in 2001, deaths in cars exceeded those from terrorism.


You sound like you hate FREEDOM and JUSTICE and PIE!

Nice try, liberal terrorism! We're prepared.

/On a severely depressing note, add in the combat/collateral deaths following the 9/11 stupidity.
 
2014-07-07 08:34:10 AM
static6.businessinsider.com
 
2014-07-07 11:50:27 AM

Billy Liar: Simple solution: Detain everyone with a cell phone and beat them until they confess.


Finally! Some logic.
 
2014-07-07 11:54:33 AM

Riche: Are Banannaphones OK?


No. It was never ok.
 
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