Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Deadspin)   Invited to an outdoor party and are told to bring the macaroni salad? Here's how not to look like a total bachelor   (theconcourse.deadspin.com) divider line 29
    More: Spiffy, side dishes, guacamole, red bell pepper  
•       •       •

859 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 06 Jul 2014 at 8:57 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-06 06:20:43 AM  
So, 2 pages of self indulgent drival and no simple recipe?
 
2014-07-06 07:00:43 AM  
Dice 4-5 potatoes and boil for 15 minutes in water that has some salt added to it.
When a knife can slide easily in, remove from heat and drain.
Put in a large bowl and add a few splashes of cider vinegar and a few dashes of tarragon and parsley. Move to fridge.
Get some bacon and make it crispy. Not quite overcooked but close. I use the microwave for this.
Remove potatoes from fridge, add a cup or so of frozen peas (yes, still frozen).
Add two or three spoonfuls of mayonnaise and stir carefully so you don't break up the potato pieces.
Crumble bacon into tiny pieces and add in.
Taste and add salt if necessary. Back to fridge until time to leave.

Won't take more than 30 minutes, dirties two bowls and one pot. Ingredients you probably already have.

You're welcome.

/just call it enry potato salad
 
2014-07-06 07:03:13 AM  

enry: Dice 4-5 potatoes and boil for 15 minutes in water that has some salt added to it.
When a knife can slide easily in, remove from heat and drain.
Put in a large bowl and add a few splashes of cider vinegar and a few dashes of tarragon and parsley. Move to fridge.
Get some bacon and make it crispy. Not quite overcooked but close. I use the microwave for this.
Remove potatoes from fridge, add a cup or so of frozen peas (yes, still frozen).
Add two or three spoonfuls of mayonnaise and stir carefully so you don't break up the potato pieces.
Crumble bacon into tiny pieces and add in.
Taste and add salt if necessary. Back to fridge until time to leave.

Won't take more than 30 minutes, dirties two bowls and one pot. Ingredients you probably already have.

You're welcome.

/just call it enry potato salad


I bake the potatoes instead of boiling them.
 
2014-07-06 07:19:04 AM  
But... If I don't look like a total bachelor, how will the laydeez know I'm available?
 
2014-07-06 08:04:15 AM  

postnobills: But... If I don't look like a total bachelor, how will the laydeez know I'm available?


Hey, at least you'll get invited to go clothes shopping with them. NTTAWWT.
 
2014-07-06 09:08:51 AM  

JoieD'Zen: So, 2 pages of self indulgent drival and no simple recipe?


I don't recall anyone being promised a simple recipe; however, it's in there nonetheless.

-2# elbow macaroni, cooked in boiling salted water, drained and cooled

-2 big scoops of mayo, combined - to taste - with worcestershire sauce, powdered mustard, paprika, black pepper, and whatever non-balsamic vinegar you like (red wine or white wine or apple cider or malt or white or champagne or whatever). Also, a dash of your preferred hot sauce.

-Two red peppers, one or two cucumbers, tomato if you're in the mood, all chopped. One diced red onion.

Combine, and voila!
 
2014-07-06 09:56:14 AM  
Somebody called?
 
2014-07-06 10:20:54 AM  

JoieD'Zen: enry: Dice 4-5 potatoes and boil for 15 minutes in water that has some salt added to it.
When a knife can slide easily in, remove from heat and drain.
Put in a large bowl and add a few splashes of cider vinegar and a few dashes of tarragon and parsley. Move to fridge.
Get some bacon and make it crispy. Not quite overcooked but close. I use the microwave for this.
Remove potatoes from fridge, add a cup or so of frozen peas (yes, still frozen).
Add two or three spoonfuls of mayonnaise and stir carefully so you don't break up the potato pieces.
Crumble bacon into tiny pieces and add in.
Taste and add salt if necessary. Back to fridge until time to leave.

Won't take more than 30 minutes, dirties two bowls and one pot. Ingredients you probably already have.

You're welcome.

/just call it enry potato salad

I bake the potatoes instead of boiling them.


It sounds like an unnecessary step to me, but I'll just take you words for it and start off making my macaroni salad by boiling potatoes. At what point do I pick out the potatoes, scrape the dressing off of them potatoes and mix in the macaroni? Any ideas for a side dish I can make with a bunch of potatoes with residual traces of macaroni salad dressing? I'd hate to waste all those potatoes.
 
2014-07-06 10:34:10 AM  
That's pretty lazy but doesn't beat the king of totally lazy backyard cookout sides, the fruit salad. Cut up some fruit, dress with a little honey and lemon juice, and you're done. You could even just buy some berries and forget the whole cutting up thing.
 
2014-07-06 10:45:55 AM  
1. Buy 2lbs of macaroni salad at the deli
2. Pour into large serving bowl
3. Beer me
 
2014-07-06 10:49:02 AM  

Mr_Crink: JoieD'Zen: enry: Dice 4-5 potatoes and boil for 15 minutes in water that has some salt added to it.
When a knife can slide easily in, remove from heat and drain.
Put in a large bowl and add a few splashes of cider vinegar and a few dashes of tarragon and parsley. Move to fridge.
Get some bacon and make it crispy. Not quite overcooked but close. I use the microwave for this.
Remove potatoes from fridge, add a cup or so of frozen peas (yes, still frozen).
Add two or three spoonfuls of mayonnaise and stir carefully so you don't break up the potato pieces.
Crumble bacon into tiny pieces and add in.
Taste and add salt if necessary. Back to fridge until time to leave.

Won't take more than 30 minutes, dirties two bowls and one pot. Ingredients you probably already have.

You're welcome.

/just call it enry potato salad

I bake the potatoes instead of boiling them.

It sounds like an unnecessary step to me, but I'll just take you words for it and start off making my macaroni salad by boiling potatoes. At what point do I pick out the potatoes, scrape the dressing off of them potatoes and mix in the macaroni? Any ideas for a side dish I can make with a bunch of potatoes with residual traces of macaroni salad dressing? I'd hate to waste all those potatoes.


Well, you obviously have reading comprehension troubles because this post is about potato salad, and I suspect you are an asshole to boot but you have a nice day.
 
2014-07-06 10:51:46 AM  

JoieD'Zen: Well, you obviously have reading comprehension troubles because this post is about potato salad, and I suspect you are an asshole to boot but you have a nice day.


Was you Fark handle chosen ironically?
 
2014-07-06 11:00:10 AM  

Gecko Gingrich: JoieD'Zen: Well, you obviously have reading comprehension troubles because this post is about potato salad, and I suspect you are an asshole to boot but you have a nice day.

Was you Fark handle chosen ironically?


Zen of calling idiots out brings me Joie.

/breathes deeply
 
2014-07-06 11:58:22 AM  
What is wrong with looking like a bachelor if you in fact are one?
 
2014-07-06 02:08:16 PM  
My macaroni salad brings all the girls to the yard.
 
2014-07-06 02:25:42 PM  
Hawaiian Mac Salad. That is all.
 
2014-07-06 02:29:31 PM  
Macaroni salad is one of those dishes where any recipe for it is basically just a starting point for further customization. That said, this works for me:

Half pound or so of cooked macaroni

1 cup mayo
1/4 vinegar
2 tabelspoons mustard
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 onion, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped

Mix everything up, chill, eat. Keep in mind this is a basic recipe and you can add all sorts of stuff to it.
 
2014-07-06 03:02:55 PM  

lokis_mentor: Hawaiian Mac Salad. That is all.


Huli huli chicken, mac salad, two scoop rice. No ka 'oi.
 
2014-07-06 03:12:01 PM  
I'm still kind of trying to figure out what was so wrong with bringing the meatballs.

Meatballs can be all kinds of awesome.
 
2014-07-06 03:36:55 PM  
I'm trying to think of something that induces dry heaving for me faster than macaroni salad. It tastes exactly like deoderant scraped off of a wrestler's armpit.
 
2014-07-06 06:36:42 PM  

I Like Bread: I'm trying to think of something that induces dry heaving for me faster than macaroni salad. It tastes exactly like deoderant scraped off of a wrestler's armpit.


And you would know this exactly how?
 
2014-07-06 07:48:40 PM  
Macaroni salad is of the devil.
 
2014-07-06 08:14:54 PM  

postnobills: But... If I don't look like a total bachelor, how will the laydeez know I'm available?


Done in 4. Jesus, how hard was that?
 
2014-07-07 12:56:39 AM  

sillydragon: Half pound or so of cooked macaroni

....

So you're supposed to cook it first?
/Oopsie...

I usually just bring a bag of this stuff..

img.fark.net
 
2014-07-07 01:36:15 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: 1. Buy 2lbs of macaroni salad at the deli
2. Pour into large serving bowl
3. Beer me


^

Who's shiatty blog is this btw?
 
2014-07-07 01:37:14 AM  
Green onions not red, devilled egg yolks, chopped black olives, a pound of the smallest cocktail shrimp, fresh lime juice to taste and Cholula sauce and people will forget all about the bacon wapped filet mignon with Bearnaise sauce coming off the grill. And you won't look like a cheap ass rat bastard who might even get invited back again.
 
2014-07-07 03:06:42 AM  

OscarTamerz: people will forget all about the bacon wapped filet mignon with Bearnaise sauce coming off the grill


I'd pass on the filet for that and I hate macaroni salad! Good luck getting invited back though, unless it's to cook.
/friend at work cooks like that, he's just ruined me on all the local restaurants.
 
2014-07-07 08:14:10 AM  

JoieD'Zen: Well, you obviously have reading comprehension troubles because this post is about potato salad, and I suspect you are an asshole to boot but you have a nice day.


Hah!

"but you have a nice day." ..... nice touch
 
2014-07-07 10:17:19 AM  
Macaroni Salad = big bowl with 3 different types of mac n cheese mixed together.
 
Displayed 29 of 29 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report