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(TreeHugger)   Work would be so much more bearable if your boss would give you an enclosed, coffin-like work space that allows you to hide from your co-workers all day as you can curl up with your favorite bourbon uninterrupted and watch Star Wars   (treehugger.com) divider line 111
    More: Obvious, tree huggers  
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10710 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2014 at 11:52 AM (10 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-06 08:45:31 AM
...and people wonder why I still work in kitchens.

Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, it's full of chaos, fire, sharp objects, and sometimes dishwashers who are barely holding onto their incipient alcoholism and substance abuse issues, and occasionally waitresses and bartenders who have broken limbs and cannot seem to be able to perform tasks that trained monkey could handles and with far less screeching, but then again, it's open, it's full of creativity, and swearing is not just the norm, but actively encouraged. Plus, you eat or feed your mistakes to people who appreciate them. Plus, there are bartenders who drop drinks off when things get kooky, so they have that going for them as well.

My office? It is chock full of files, cramped, and by design it is as uncomfortable a space as possible, because I don't the sous chef to get the idea that the office is a good place to be in. It is ugly as sin, and it is supposed to be that way, because chefs shouldn't spend more time in the office than it takes to get some paperwork done, a few calls made in quiet, and schedules to be pored over, to make sure events are covered. Likewise, if someone gets called onto the carpet, you don't want them thinking that the office is supposed to be comfy--it's where you go only when you have to, because it's an office, and we're cooks and chefs, and our place is in the kitchen, and making magic happen. The comfy place is out with the customers, because they're our focus.

If we're screwing off at work, it's not playing some flight sim, or checking our e-mail, it's making something kooky to try that night or the next day. It's making something with broccoli stalks, or some new garnishes, or maybe using the beef and pork scraps for a soup that isn't going to make it as a regular item, but damned if it can't be a special, and make some money for us. Or pulling a prank on someone and waiting for them to discover the DOOOOOM waiting just for them. Then again, we're not good people...
 
2014-07-06 09:18:12 AM
Two things:

-What's a "drower"?
-How is a "Collection rack" different than a "Shelf"...or the other "Shelf"?
-hubiestubert is a got-damned national treasure.

/OK...three things
//Farkistan is *too* a nation!
 
2014-07-06 09:33:30 AM

hubiestubert: ...and people wonder why I still work in kitchens.

Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, it's full of chaos, fire, sharp objects, and sometimes dishwashers who are barely holding onto their incipient alcoholism and substance abuse issues, and occasionally waitresses and bartenders who have broken limbs and cannot seem to be able to perform tasks that trained monkey could handles and with far less screeching, but then again, it's open, it's full of creativity, and swearing is not just the norm, but actively encouraged. Plus, you eat or feed your mistakes to people who appreciate them. Plus, there are bartenders who drop drinks off when things get kooky, so they have that going for them as well.

My office? It is chock full of files, cramped, and by design it is as uncomfortable a space as possible, because I don't the sous chef to get the idea that the office is a good place to be in. It is ugly as sin, and it is supposed to be that way, because chefs shouldn't spend more time in the office than it takes to get some paperwork done, a few calls made in quiet, and schedules to be pored over, to make sure events are covered. Likewise, if someone gets called onto the carpet, you don't want them thinking that the office is supposed to be comfy--it's where you go only when you have to, because it's an office, and we're cooks and chefs, and our place is in the kitchen, and making magic happen. The comfy place is out with the customers, because they're our focus.

If we're screwing off at work, it's not playing some flight sim, or checking our e-mail, it's making something kooky to try that night or the next day. It's making something with broccoli stalks, or some new garnishes, or maybe using the beef and pork scraps for a soup that isn't going to make it as a regular item, but damned if it can't be a special, and make some money for us. Or pulling a prank on someone and waiting for them to discover the DOOOOOM waiting just for them. Then again, we're not good people...


Tell us how you really feel. This is Fark after all, so don't hold back next time.
 
2014-07-06 09:49:44 AM
Um, thanks weird Chef Guy. But that coffin looks pretty sweet, especially if it's sound proof.
 
2014-07-06 10:09:06 AM
George did it first

postgradproblems.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-07-06 10:30:52 AM
Um, what do I do when the panic starts up, I'm unable to breath, and I'm TRAPPED OMG I NEED AIR NOW WTF ... 11!!
 
2014-07-06 10:48:12 AM
If I saw some dude in one of those, I'd wrap that biatch up with duct tape and laugh as they tried to escape.
 
2014-07-06 10:57:43 AM

SecretAgentWoman: Um, what do I do when the panic starts up, I'm unable to breath, and I'm TRAPPED OMG I NEED AIR NOW WTF ... 11!!


Push the "Open" button?
 
2014-07-06 11:00:58 AM
Sensors will continuously monitor your output, tracking your motion and where you are looking. If you don't meed standards set by your manager, mild shocks will be administered at first, growing more and more agonizing until you meet productivity goals. You will produce. The pod will remain sealed until quitting time. Escape is impossible.  Your quitting time will be determined dynamically by the work load. Eventually you will remain in the pods 24 hrs per day, only being released on retirement or death.
 
2014-07-06 11:14:15 AM

hubiestubert: Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, it's full of chaos, fire, sharp objects, and sometimes dishwashers who are barely holding onto their incipient alcoholism and substance abuse issues, and occasionally waitresses and bartenders who have broken limbs and cannot seem to be able to perform tasks that trained monkey could handles and with far less screeching, but then again, it's open, it's full of creativity, and swearing is not just the norm, but actively encouraged. Plus, you eat or feed your mistakes to people who appreciate them. Plus, there are bartenders who drop drinks off when things get kooky, so they have that going for them as well.


shiat, I miss farking working in food service. Never a dull moment, or a dull knife.

/not really
//although I still apply for jobs in it
 
2014-07-06 11:20:40 AM
Every time a work-related thread comes up all I can do is thank my lucky stars I don't work in an office any more.
 
2014-07-06 11:56:10 AM

Peter von Nostrand: George did it first


Done in 5
 
2014-07-06 11:56:11 AM
Great, now I have to hot box myself with my own farts, instead of sharing them.

/cropdusting is a favorite past time of mine.
 
2014-07-06 11:57:47 AM
Can it double as a Suicide Booth?
 
2014-07-06 12:03:00 PM
Put a large TV and a water source for my French Press in there and I'm sold.
 
2014-07-06 12:04:17 PM

CarnySaur: Can it double as a Suicide Booth?


It used to, but Stop-N-Drop put that division out of business in 2008.
 
2014-07-06 12:07:53 PM

basemetal: If I saw some dude in one of those, I'd wrap that biatch up with duct tape and laugh as they tried to escape.


Doesn't look like it'd be too hard to push the whole thing up and over your head.

That said, this thing truly looks horrific. The office I work in has no windows at all, and I have to pretty much completely exit the building before I see a hint of daylight. That's bad enough; I can't imagine being trapped in one of these.
 
2014-07-06 12:08:11 PM
I have something similar, but it's an entire room with a door, and can fit my entire desk and four monitors.
 
2014-07-06 12:08:27 PM

CarnySaur: Can it double as a Suicide Booth?


Not presently. This model will only murder your soul. You'll still have to DIY the suicide part.
 
2014-07-06 12:13:56 PM
Can I install a hot plate for my sardine wraps?
 
2014-07-06 12:14:18 PM
media.treehugger.com

I'm curious how the Drower works.  Does it extend your ears and give you blackface?
 
2014-07-06 12:16:44 PM

Plissken: That said, this thing truly looks horrific. The office I work in has no windows at all, and I have to pretty much completely exit the building before I see a hint of daylight. That's bad enough; I can't imagine being trapped in one of these.


The building I'm in has windows, but only along the outer corridors in each "module."  And those windows face more building 20 ft away (the next "module").

I recently moved offices within the module.  In my old office, I could at least see a hint of sunlight if I walked to the door, and stood on my tip-toes to see across the row of cubicles to the window.  In my new office, there is no direct sunlight path to my office.  It's a ~100ft excursion to the nearest window.

But, at least I have an office with a door.  Sure, it's a Herman Miller tin-can with a fake ceiling and all the noise-filtering qualities of tissue paper, but it's better than nothing.  And with noise-cancelling headphones, I can actually get some work done.
 
2014-07-06 12:23:03 PM
After graduating college and working in a cubicle then a row of desks facing another row of desks for five years in New York City, I thank God that I have my own office.
 
2014-07-06 12:25:30 PM
p.globalsources.com

"Ok guys.... real funny....  guys?? Come on.. it's 5:19, I wanna go home!"
 
2014-07-06 12:26:42 PM

Plant Rights Activist: [media.treehugger.com image 600x400]

I'm curious how the Drower works.  Does it extend your ears and give you blackface?


I bet this contraption is another one of Lolth's schemes.
 
2014-07-06 12:26:56 PM
I'd like one of those for home. Not to work but just hide.
 
2014-07-06 12:28:47 PM
They could turn it into an office ejection capsule! Sorta like the B-58.
 
2014-07-06 12:29:27 PM

TheMega: "Ok guys.... real funny....  guys?? Come on.. it's 5:19, I wanna go home!"


^this my first thought also. The clipper mentioned would require the duct tape.
 
2014-07-06 12:30:25 PM
Here I was grumbling to myself about finishing work on a Sunday, and then I remember how the jobs I've worked in a windowless cube farm slowly chipped away at my soul...

My office is wherever my computer is.  It's currently my table at home.

Leaving with renewed gratitude. :D
 
2014-07-06 12:30:36 PM
Oh, on a side note, why haven't most HR departments regulated noise pollution? I remember having people in nearby cubicles and desks having very personal conversations on their phones right next to me, discussing confidential client information, playing the radio so everyone can hear your shiatty taste in music or politics, etc.

I think the things that pissed me off the most was the guy who clipped his finger and toenails at his desk. The first time I heard it, I was wondering aloud what the fark that metallic clicking sound was. Also, the guy who somehow had superhuman sucking abilities where you could hear him suck on Lifesavers from 30 feet away.
 
2014-07-06 12:31:34 PM

hubiestubert: ...and people wonder why I still work in kitchens.

Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, it's full of chaos, fire, sharp objects, and sometimes dishwashers who are barely holding onto their incipient alcoholism and substance abuse issues, and occasionally waitresses and bartenders who have broken limbs and cannot seem to be able to perform tasks that trained monkey could handles and with far less screeching, but then again, it's open, it's full of creativity, and swearing is not just the norm, but actively encouraged. Plus, you eat or feed your mistakes to people who appreciate them. Plus, there are bartenders who drop drinks off when things get kooky, so they have that going for them as well.

My office? It is chock full of files, cramped, and by design it is as uncomfortable a space as possible, because I don't the sous chef to get the idea that the office is a good place to be in. It is ugly as sin, and it is supposed to be that way, because chefs shouldn't spend more time in the office than it takes to get some paperwork done, a few calls made in quiet, and schedules to be pored over, to make sure events are covered. Likewise, if someone gets called onto the carpet, you don't want them thinking that the office is supposed to be comfy--it's where you go only when you have to, because it's an office, and we're cooks and chefs, and our place is in the kitchen, and making magic happen. The comfy place is out with the customers, because they're our focus.

If we're screwing off at work, it's not playing some flight sim, or checking our e-mail, it's making something kooky to try that night or the next day. It's making something with broccoli stalks, or some new garnishes, or maybe using the beef and pork scraps for a soup that isn't going to make it as a regular item, but damned if it can't be a special, and make some money for us. Or pulling a prank on someone and waiting for them to discover the DOOOOOM waiting just for them. Then again, we're not good people...


Lol, the owner of the sushi bar I work at keeps his office pretty much OCD tidy. He's one of those types that has owned the restaurant for 15 years so he has basically checked out of doing any type of food work, so when he is in for his 10-20 hours a week, it's all in the office. I find your sous chef thing assuming, because our previous kitchen manager was one of those types that like sneaking off early to the office to watch Netflix.
 
2014-07-06 12:33:07 PM
They're taking "cubicle" rather literally, aren't they...
 
2014-07-06 12:33:44 PM
Enlightened Liberal:

I think the things that pissed me off the most was the guy who clipped his finger and toenails at his desk. The first time I heard it, I was wondering aloud what the fark that metallic clicking sound was. Also, the guy who somehow had superhuman sucking abilities where you could hear him suck on Lifesavers from 30 feet away.

Perhaps he was just the world's worst flirter, and you disappointed him day after day that you didn't succumb to his obviously well groomed and practiced charms?
 
2014-07-06 12:34:14 PM
Clearly not for Americans.
 
2014-07-06 12:34:33 PM
What a fancy private spank-it booth!

/"But I already gave $5 for the coffee fund."
//"This is for the jizz mopper fund."
///Job Creators!
 
2014-07-06 12:41:01 PM
Willie the Wimp and his Cadillac Cubicle doesn't have the same ring.
 
2014-07-06 12:41:07 PM
I agree with the concept, but why not just telecommute instead of locking yourself in a closet?
 
2014-07-06 12:41:53 PM

hubiestubert: ...and people wonder why I still work in kitchens.

Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, it's full of chaos, fire, sharp objects, and sometimes dishwashers who are barely holding onto their incipient alcoholism and substance abuse issues, and occasionally waitresses and bartenders who have broken limbs and cannot seem to be able to perform tasks that trained monkey could handles and with far less screeching, but then again, it's open, it's full of creativity, and swearing is not just the norm, but actively encouraged. Plus, you eat or feed your mistakes to people who appreciate them. Plus, there are bartenders who drop drinks off when things get kooky, so they have that going for them as well.

My office? It is chock full of files, cramped, and by design it is as uncomfortable a space as possible, because I don't the sous chef to get the idea that the office is a good place to be in. It is ugly as sin, and it is supposed to be that way, because chefs shouldn't spend more time in the office than it takes to get some paperwork done, a few calls made in quiet, and schedules to be pored over, to make sure events are covered. Likewise, if someone gets called onto the carpet, you don't want them thinking that the office is supposed to be comfy--it's where you go only when you have to, because it's an office, and we're cooks and chefs, and our place is in the kitchen, and making magic happen. The comfy place is out with the customers, because they're our focus.

If we're screwing off at work, it's not playing some flight sim, or checking our e-mail, it's making something kooky to try that night or the next day. It's making something with broccoli stalks, or some new garnishes, or maybe using the beef and pork scraps for a soup that isn't going to make it as a regular item, but damned if it can't be a special, and make some money for us. Or pulling a prank on someone and waiting for them to discover the DOOOOOM waiting just for them. Then again, we're not good people...


I wanna eat at your restaurant.

/if ya know what I mean
//and I think that you do
///NOT THAT WAY, YOU PERVERT
 
2014-07-06 12:44:18 PM
I know I am in the minority but I don't have a problem with my cubicle village. I would hate an office, it would seem too isolated.
 
2014-07-06 12:45:54 PM

hubiestubert: It's making something with broccoli stalks


I've been trying to do this for years, but all I keep coming up with are neat-shaped, thin slices that are more fun to throw at the back of someone's head than anything else.

And tempura.
 
2014-07-06 12:46:18 PM
for work? no.

for making a mini man cave INSIDE another man cave? YES!

/yo dog...
 
2014-07-06 12:46:24 PM

jst3p: I don't have a problem with my cubicle village.


Depends on the job. Some jobs, you don't want company.
 
2014-07-06 12:46:32 PM
tjsands1118: I don't trust a chef who spends too much time in the office. GM? That's a whole different matter, because his damn job is the paperwork aspect and juggling schedules, events and the like.

Our regional chef at Aramark got locked into his office a fair amount. He WAS a regional chef for Sports/Entertainment which meant he had operations all across Arizona and a few other states. He hated it. It was necessary, to coordinate operations across a dozen venues, but he was the kind of guy that just wanted to get it out of the way, so he could make some Hollandaise and get a banquet line set, and the get his hands dirty on a grill. He walked the whole of Glenndale Arena, and if he was at an outlet and they were slammed, he was the first one to leap in and hop on the fryers, or the dishroom, or pour beers or deliver pizzas to suites, or give a carving line a hand, or haul ice cream to an action station. He likewise was the first guy to hop into the dishroom, and he was our regional chef. He was operations, not corporate, but they were grooming him for the operations portion of the show, and he was fighting it tooth and nail, because the kitchen is where his leadership shined. It's guys like that who are my role models, and it's the only way you can set the example to your sous or line guys. They have to SEE you in the kitchen, doing stuff, even the scut work. Chef is doing dishes, scrubbing pans, hauling french fries, making nachos, stocking, or spinning salad greens, no one else can really complain about these jobs. You have to set the example for your people.
 
2014-07-06 12:47:17 PM

Vodka Zombie: hubiestubert: It's making something with broccoli stalks

I've been trying to do this for years, but all I keep coming up with are neat-shaped, thin slices that are more fun to throw at the back of someone's head than anything else.

And tempura.


Nothing good (other than fodder for the compost pile) can come from broccoli stalks.
 
2014-07-06 12:48:07 PM
Asimov would have loved one of these.
 
2014-07-06 12:48:52 PM
Once the Japanese upgrade the Cozy Room with Orgasmatron technology, office managers will have a completely satisfied work force who will spontaneously erupt in spasms of creativity and then resume long periods of peaceful, flaccid contemplation.  The work office will no longer be bound by deadlines, time clocks or meaningless BS sessions by the water cooler.  As a matter of fact, the work day will become 24 hour affairs with workers opting to remain at work in their Cozy-Orgastic work stations.  It's a brave new world.
 
2014-07-06 12:49:01 PM
My office is at home (or on the road, sometimes). Usually, I'm listening to my music as loud as I want and wearing my lounging clothes when I'm doing my paperwork, which I can put off until 11 PM if I damned well feel like it.

I feel sorry for you penned-in office monkeys. It must suck to have to live out the first 20 minutes of "Office Space" every day for the rest of your life.
 
2014-07-06 12:49:37 PM

doglover: jst3p: I don't have a problem with my cubicle village.

Depends on the job. Some jobs, you don't want company.


Yeah, I could see that. I am a Unix Sysadmin and I work with a good group of similar minded people.
 
2014-07-06 12:50:46 PM
Here's irony for you: I work in a medical office. A patient who does not have a job kept me from getting any work done for about 45 minutes by talking loudly at the receptionist. The subject of her monolouge was the tragedy of how people never talk anymore.
 
2014-07-06 12:51:57 PM

Enlightened Liberal: Oh, on a side note, why haven't most HR departments regulated noise pollution? I remember having people in nearby cubicles and desks having very personal conversations on their phones right next to me, discussing confidential client information, playing the radio so everyone can hear your shiatty taste in music or politics, etc.

I think the things that pissed me off the most was the guy who clipped his finger and toenails at his desk. The first time I heard it, I was wondering aloud what the fark that metallic clicking sound was. Also, the guy who somehow had superhuman sucking abilities where you could hear him suck on Lifesavers from 30 feet away.



You just described my version of Hell.
 
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