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(WTSP)   Stranded baby dolphin rescued on Florida beach. Faith in humanity: restored for approximately 1 day   (wtsp.com) divider line 28
    More: Florida  
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3938 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2014 at 9:29 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-06 08:52:45 AM  
Is it sad that I can think of 20 possible headlines tomorrow to remove that last little bit of faith?

Won't do it though, I hope the dolphin gets back with it's mother and/or pod and lives a long, healthy life
 
2014-07-06 09:33:40 AM  

FourDirections: Is it sad that I can think of 20 possible headlines tomorrow to remove that last little bit of faith?

Won't do it though, I hope the dolphin gets back with it's mother and/or pod and lives a long, healthy life


Well, the story is out of Florida, which is really good at destroying faith in humanity, so yeah, I give it about six hours, tops.
 
2014-07-06 09:36:24 AM  
While they've got him, they should apply the voodoo treatment to make him live forever: put two fledgeling seagulls in a basket, and, at midnight, jump three times over a lion that's been drugged into insensibility, but not unconsciousness; feed the seagulls to the dolphin on three consecutive full moons, and the dolphin will never die.

Of, course, they'd be violating the Mann Act--transporting young gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
 
2014-07-06 09:37:39 AM  
It's a nice feel-good story, but that baby dolphin is already dead.  It's just going to get raped to death once it's reunited with its pod.  Dolphins are bastards like that.
 
2014-07-06 09:38:28 AM  
This shouldn't restore anyone's faith in humanity as Floridians are known to be more civilized to animals than to other human beings.

Except the cops who will definitely not be civilized to either species, of course.
 
2014-07-06 09:42:17 AM  
If this had happened in Hawaii, the beach would be lined with people firing up their BBQ grills.
 
2014-07-06 09:46:02 AM  
Echo FourDirections' 2d sentence, sing-cerely hope dolphin calf (GoodSought for & found right term!) can find mother & pod when released from marine care unit (forgot its name already).
Too, offer sing-cere Boo Hisssss to _Boutros for dreadful pun.
Would vote for tale, but strangeluck's 6 hr guessestimate for Faith In Humanity Restored tends to dissuades me.  May do it anyhoo ...... favour rescue tales, esp when outcome is as hoped for. But updates from Ch10 likely won't make it here.
 
2014-07-06 09:48:53 AM  
Back to say now won't vote for, in case RoboBeat's comment is accurate.  Such A Pity if 'tis...
 
2014-07-06 09:52:42 AM  

laulaja: Echo FourDirections' 2d sentence, sing-cerely hope dolphin calf (GoodSought for & found right term!) can find mother & pod when released from marine care unit (forgot its name already).
Too, offer sing-cere Boo Hisssss to _Boutros for dreadful pun.
Would vote for tale, but strangeluck's 6 hr guessestimate for Faith In Humanity Restored tends to dissuades me.  May do it anyhoo ...... favour rescue tales, esp when outcome is as hoped for. But updates from Ch10 likely won't make it here.


So we placing bets on who's right? What's the odds like, and what kind of stakes?
 
2014-07-06 09:59:04 AM  
There is a federal moratorium on the rescue of all cetaceans due to an extremely contagious and new virus that has been discovered.  So this dolphin was not taken to a facility with any other cetaceans.  And if it was, those people farked up real, real, real bad.

Odds are the dolphin was either dumped in the ocean or allowed to die in a facility that couldn't handle it.
 
2014-07-06 10:02:34 AM  

FourDirections: Is it sad that I can think of 20 possible headlines tomorrow to remove that last little bit of faith?


[SICK]  That's not why it's called a blowhole

I have a lot of faith in humanity.  My faith is that humans will never fail to be assholes.
 
2014-07-06 10:15:18 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: While they've got him, they should apply the voodoo treatment to make him live forever: put two fledgeling seagulls in a basket, and, at midnight, jump three times over a lion that's been drugged into insensibility, but not unconsciousness; feed the seagulls to the dolphin on three consecutive full moons, and the dolphin will never die.

Of, course, they'd be violating the Mann Act--transporting young gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.


You.

You should write for Stephen Pastis.

Or he should write for you.  One of them.

/still drunk from Friday
/best hangover cure is bourbon
 
2014-07-06 10:22:19 AM  
That's all it takes to restore your faith in humanity Subby?

You wishy-washy types need to drink more.
 
2014-07-06 10:24:33 AM  
That was the dolphins sacrifice to the gods. The gods will be very angry now.
 
2014-07-06 10:29:29 AM  
www.bestmemes.com
 
2014-07-06 10:36:34 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: While they've got him, they should apply the voodoo treatment to make him live forever: put two fledgeling seagulls in a basket, and, at midnight, jump three times over a lion that's been drugged into insensibility, but not unconsciousness; feed the seagulls to the dolphin on three consecutive full moons, and the dolphin will never die.

Of, course, they'd be violating the Mann Act--transporting young gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.


I will probably bust out laughing at an inappropriate time during this morning's service. Maybe I will just sit in the lobby.
 
2014-07-06 10:56:21 AM  
They have a fight, dolphin wins, degraded man, Florida Man.
 
2014-07-06 11:06:41 AM  

AMonkey'sUncle: If this had happened in Hawaii, the beach would be lined with people firing up their BBQ grills.


Mahi Mahi is dolphin FISH not Dolphin. Besides, the porpoises taste bettah, bra.
 
2014-07-06 11:56:20 AM  
Looks like a stranded dolphin and a beached blue whale.
 
2014-07-06 12:44:39 PM  
They get the dolphin into the carrier and walked the wrong farking way.
Since pushing it against the waves didn't work let's use this carrier... and take it out of the water.
What idiots. I bet they could have gone farther out against the waves with the carrier if they would have tried.
Hell, when the guy picked it up I figured he was going to walk it out there by himself... but noooo.

It's got to be the chemtrails making everyone dumb. Don't ya feel it sometimes? Yeah- you.
 
2014-07-06 12:46:26 PM  
Ah subby forever the optimist. I give humanity an hour tops.
 
2014-07-06 12:54:18 PM  
Great story. But why do people love to watch the world and life unfold through their  5" cell phone?  Bunch of drones.
 
2014-07-06 01:44:33 PM  
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
 
2014-07-06 01:50:57 PM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: While they've got him, they should apply the voodoo treatment to make him live forever: put two fledgeling seagulls in a basket, and, at midnight, jump three times over a lion that's been drugged into insensibility, but not unconsciousness; feed the seagulls to the dolphin on three consecutive full moons, and the dolphin will never die.

Of, course, they'd be violating the Mann Act--transporting young gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.


Hell of a trip for a joke, but worth it. Bravo!
 
2014-07-06 02:00:45 PM  

halB: There is a federal moratorium on the rescue of all cetaceans due to an extremely contagious and new virus that has been discovered.  So this dolphin was not taken to a facility with any other cetaceans.  And if it was, those people farked up real, real, real bad.

Odds are the dolphin was either dumped in the ocean or allowed to die in a facility that couldn't handle it.


It was probably euthanized on the trip and quietly buried in hazmat trash.
 
2014-07-06 02:50:02 PM  
Was Richie Incognito the babby daddy?
 
2014-07-07 12:08:40 PM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: While they've got him, they should apply the voodoo treatment to make him live forever: put two fledgeling seagulls in a basket, and, at midnight, jump three times over a lion that's been drugged into insensibility, but not unconsciousness; feed the seagulls to the dolphin on three consecutive full moons, and the dolphin will never die.

Of, course, they'd be violating the Mann Act--transporting young gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.


I thought that was the one to stop my boss from being a fickle ass. Damn it, all this time I've been helping dolphin longevity?
 
2014-07-07 12:10:53 PM  

laulaja: Echo FourDirections' 2d sentence, sing-cerely hope dolphin calf (GoodSought for & found right term!) can find mother & pod when released from marine care unit (forgot its name already).
Too, offer sing-cere Boo Hisssss to _Boutros for dreadful pun.
Would vote for tale, but strangeluck's 6 hr guessestimate for Faith In Humanity Restored tends to dissuades me.  May do it anyhoo ...... favour rescue tales, esp when outcome is as hoped for. But updates from Ch10 likely won't make it here.


too much formatting makes all points irrelevant
 
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