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(WESH Orlando)   It's all fun and games 'til you can't use your grill on the 4th of July because you have a 12-foot python trapped in it   (wesh.com ) divider line
    More: Florida  
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3973 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2014 at 7:15 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-04 09:16:51 PM  
www.wwe.com
 
2014-07-04 09:25:14 PM  
Something that big is going to need a low flame.
 
2014-07-04 09:55:59 PM  
That must be a big grill.

Is it big enough to roast an elephant?

Draw me a sheep.
 
2014-07-04 11:53:56 PM  
Florida couldn't sink into the ocean fast enough.
 
2014-07-05 12:15:57 AM  

brantgoose: That must be a big grill.

Is it big enough to roast an elephant?

Draw me a sheep.


If you insist.

i1148.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-05 12:19:33 AM  
Can't or Won't? Because a propane grill should fire up just fine with or without the snake.
 
2014-07-05 12:24:09 AM  
Uh, flame on.
 
2014-07-05 01:26:02 AM  
About five years ago I was in FL, driving from Palm Beach down to Miami on I-95.  The interstate there is about fifty lanes wide and has jersey barriers in the middle and sound barriers on the side, so you don't expect there to be anything else on the road other than cars (most of them blasting Pitbull).

As I was cruising south wondering how to say "can I get a car wash with my fill up?" in Spanish, something darted in front of my car.  I swerved, and looked in the rear view mirror to see what the F I just avoided.  It sort of looked like a dog but I couldn't really see.  I noticed there was a state trooper behind me, and the fact they didn't stop told me whatever it was, it wasn't a kid, so I could keep going.

I got off at the next exit to get gas and by chance the cop did to.  I asked her if she saw what happened and she told me it was an IGUANA.  apparently they have them running all around down there because the MORONS who populate that state think it's okay to just let invasive pets go when they get too big.

on the plus side of that habit, i had a bunch of cool parrots that hung around my balcony while i was down there. on the not plus side, downtown miami is the only place that i have ever been in america that has feral dogs.  oh, and homeless guys selling "camarones" in plastic bags on street corners.

south florida makes southern california look like oslo.  that place is a total disaster.  saw it off and push it toward suriname.
 
2014-07-05 01:39:40 AM  

nickdaisy: About five years ago I was in FL, driving from Palm Beach down to Miami on I-95.  The interstate there is about fifty lanes wide and has jersey barriers in the middle and sound barriers on the side, so you don't expect there to be anything else on the road other than cars (most of them blasting Pitbull).

As I was cruising south wondering how to say "can I get a car wash with my fill up?" in Spanish, something darted in front of my car.  I swerved, and looked in the rear view mirror to see what the F I just avoided.  It sort of looked like a dog but I couldn't really see.  I noticed there was a state trooper behind me, and the fact they didn't stop told me whatever it was, it wasn't a kid, so I could keep going.

I got off at the next exit to get gas and by chance the cop did to.  I asked her if she saw what happened and she told me it was an IGUANA.  apparently they have them running all around down there because the MORONS who populate that state think it's okay to just let invasive pets go when they get too big.

on the plus side of that habit, i had a bunch of cool parrots that hung around my balcony while i was down there. on the not plus side, downtown miami is the only place that i have ever been in america that has feral dogs.  oh, and homeless guys selling "camarones" in plastic bags on street corners.

south florida makes southern california look like oslo.  that place is a total disaster.  saw it off and push it toward suriname.


What, you're too good for street shrimp?

The key to appreciating Miami is to not think of it as an American city.  It's a Latin American city that just happens to be located in the US.
 
2014-07-05 01:48:37 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: The key to appreciating Miami is to not think of it as an American city.


I'm ok with that.
 
2014-07-05 01:52:02 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: nickdaisy: About five years ago I was in FL, driving from Palm Beach down to Miami on I-95.  The interstate there is about fifty lanes wide and has jersey barriers in the middle and sound barriers on the side, so you don't expect there to be anything else on the road other than cars (most of them blasting Pitbull).

As I was cruising south wondering how to say "can I get a car wash with my fill up?" in Spanish, something darted in front of my car.  I swerved, and looked in the rear view mirror to see what the F I just avoided.  It sort of looked like a dog but I couldn't really see.  I noticed there was a state trooper behind me, and the fact they didn't stop told me whatever it was, it wasn't a kid, so I could keep going.

I got off at the next exit to get gas and by chance the cop did to.  I asked her if she saw what happened and she told me it was an IGUANA.  apparently they have them running all around down there because the MORONS who populate that state think it's okay to just let invasive pets go when they get too big.

on the plus side of that habit, i had a bunch of cool parrots that hung around my balcony while i was down there. on the not plus side, downtown miami is the only place that i have ever been in america that has feral dogs.  oh, and homeless guys selling "camarones" in plastic bags on street corners.

south florida makes southern california look like oslo.  that place is a total disaster.  saw it off and push it toward suriname.

What, you're too good for street shrimp?

The key to appreciating Miami is to not think of it as an American city.  It's a Latin American city that just happens to be located in the US.


That's actually pretty insulting. Santiaguinos (Chileans from Santiago) and bonaerenses (Argentines from Buenos Aires) consider Miami a shiathole.
 
2014-07-05 02:34:52 AM  
zedds.co.uk
 
2014-07-05 07:29:33 AM  
Can't use the grill...

That sounds like Big Gubament loving commie talk, submitterski. Give me your man card, because I'm about to shove it up your goulash hole, and tell you that snake is a fine meal on the Fourth of July.
 
2014-07-05 07:30:19 AM  
Nothing I've read about Florida makes me the least bit interested in visiting any part of the state, with the possible exception of the Keys. They sound nice.
 
2014-07-05 07:32:20 AM  

nickdaisy: About five years ago I was in FL, driving from Palm Beach down to Miami on I-95.  The interstate there is about fifty lanes wide and has jersey barriers in the middle and sound barriers on the side, so you don't expect there to be anything else on the road other than cars (most of them blasting Pitbull).

As I was cruising south wondering how to say "can I get a car wash with my fill up?" in Spanish, something darted in front of my car.  I swerved, and looked in the rear view mirror to see what the F I just avoided.  It sort of looked like a dog but I couldn't really see.  I noticed there was a state trooper behind me, and the fact they didn't stop told me whatever it was, it wasn't a kid, so I could keep going.

I got off at the next exit to get gas and by chance the cop did to.  I asked her if she saw what happened and she told me it was an IGUANA.  apparently they have them running all around down there because the MORONS who populate that state think it's okay to just let invasive pets go when they get too big.

on the plus side of that habit, i had a bunch of cool parrots that hung around my balcony while i was down there. on the not plus side, downtown miami is the only place that i have ever been in america that has feral dogs.  oh, and homeless guys selling "camarones" in plastic bags on street corners.

south florida makes southern california look like oslo.  that place is a total disaster.  saw it off and push it toward suriname.


So I lived in Miami for a few years (not my fault, my parents moved us down there) and I can confirm the feral iguana problem.  Miami has all these canals and ponds everywhere, and they used to have tons of trees and plant life beside them.  This was the perfect breeding ground for these Iguanas, and some of them would live long enough to start reaching the size of small alligators.

Wisely (surprise!) city officials in Miami cut back quite a bit of the plant life several years ago and I saw an immediate decline in the Iguana population.  Also the flocks of those little green parrots are awesome, especially since they seem to have pushed out much of the pigeon population.
 
2014-07-05 07:44:20 AM  
Motherfarking snakes on a grill.


/sorry
 
2014-07-05 07:47:12 AM  
Release the gorillas!
 
2014-07-05 09:19:08 AM  
Ah, someone who spells 'til correctly.

I don't give a sht what "till" is in the dictionary for. It's a farking cache of money, as a drawer at that supermarket you buy stupid at. It's not a gdamn abbreviation.

/Hell yes I just ended several sentences with prepositions.
 
2014-07-05 09:36:27 AM  
Chester? or

img.fark.net
?
 
2014-07-05 10:44:02 AM  
Doesn't the state give a bounty on these things?  That's probably like walking out and finding a fifty dollar bill stuck in your grill, or a hundred, or maybe only a twenty.  I have no idea how big the bounty is on these things, but I believe you are still allowed to sell the skin, in addition to collecting your award.
 
2014-07-05 10:48:25 AM  
I'm also okay with the parrots.  Pigeons are mostly invasive species from Europe (though America did have some now mostly extinct domestics).  However, parrots used to be all over the southeast United States.  The last native Parrot was actually hunted to extinction in the 1890s.
 
2014-07-05 11:19:24 AM  
At least you don't have to wash the stink out of a python-grill like you do with a pack rat-grill.

/had to wash out the blood, too
//pellet gun to the head = dead skunky-smelling furry creature blood on the grill
///would let the snake out and shoot it with something bigger
////maybe give it a few slashies
 
2014-07-05 12:10:23 PM  

Nogale: Nothing I've read about Florida makes me the least bit interested in visiting any part of the state, with the possible exception of the Keys. They sound nice.


You might try reading something other than Fark, which makes money off the Florida tag via page clicks.  That being said, if you don't want to visit, we won't miss you.
 
2014-07-05 12:13:16 PM  

nickdaisy: About five years ago I was in FL, driving from Palm Beach down to Miami on I-95.  The interstate there is about fifty lanes wide and has jersey barriers in the middle and sound barriers on the side, so you don't expect there to be anything else on the road other than cars (most of them blasting Pitbull).

As I was cruising south wondering how to say "can I get a car wash with my fill up?" in Spanish, something darted in front of my car.  I swerved, and looked in the rear view mirror to see what the F I just avoided.  It sort of looked like a dog but I couldn't really see.  I noticed there was a state trooper behind me, and the fact they didn't stop told me whatever it was, it wasn't a kid, so I could keep going.

I got off at the next exit to get gas and by chance the cop did to.  I asked her if she saw what happened and she told me it was an IGUANA.  apparently they have them running all around down there because the MORONS who populate that state think it's okay to just let invasive pets go when they get too big.

on the plus side of that habit, i had a bunch of cool parrots that hung around my balcony while i was down there. on the not plus side, downtown miami is the only place that i have ever been in america that has feral dogs.  oh, and homeless guys selling "camarones" in plastic bags on street corners.

south florida makes southern california look like oslo.  that place is a total disaster.  saw it off and push it toward suriname.


And how do you think the pythons and boas got loose?  They didn't all come from one warehouse blown over by hurricane Andrew.
 
2014-07-05 12:47:39 PM  

StrikitRich: Nogale: Nothing I've read about Florida makes me the least bit interested in visiting any part of the state, with the possible exception of the Keys. They sound nice.

You might try reading something other than Fark, which makes money off the Florida tag via page clicks.  That being said, if you don't want to visit, we won't miss you.


I read plenty about Florida before I ever discovered Fark and again, the Keys are the only part of the state that sound even remotely appealing. But seeing that I live halfway around the world and don't have any friends or family in Florida, I don't see myself making the effort to get there any time soon. But thanks for the warm knee-jerk welcome!
 
2014-07-05 01:53:21 PM  
Tastes like chicken.
 
2014-07-05 02:45:32 PM  
maneatfood.files.wordpress.com
 
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