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(New York Daily News)   To prove pet food is as nutritious as human food, woman will mange to live on it for a month   (nydailynews.com) divider line 54
    More: Strange  
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1971 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2014 at 8:56 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-04 05:41:44 PM  
pawsitively

omg
 
2014-07-04 06:03:35 PM  
Don't old ladies already do that?
 
2014-07-04 07:07:11 PM  
mange

media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-04 07:33:24 PM  
As nutritious? Maybe. Prepared with human-level standards for contamination? No.
 
2014-07-04 08:01:08 PM  
Great headline Subby.
 
2014-07-04 08:29:40 PM  
You're not going to get the right mix of vitamins in dog food. There is, generally speaking, no vitamin C in dog food because they don't require it in their diet
 
2014-07-04 08:58:53 PM  
I was going to say "enjoy your scurvy" but I see this has been covered.
 
2014-07-04 08:59:33 PM  

ArkAngel: You're not going to get the right mix of vitamins in dog food. There is, generally speaking, no vitamin C in dog food because they don't require it in their diet


They get it from licking their butts.
 
2014-07-04 09:02:08 PM  
And if she starts shiatting in the yard, I'm kicking her ass outta the house.
 
2014-07-04 09:07:38 PM  

nmrsnr: Don't old ladies already do that?


I know television has convinced me of this, but isn't per food more expensive? Or is that a throwback from a time when they just shoved hooves, snouts and cardboard in a blender and called it pet food?
 
2014-07-04 09:10:14 PM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net

approves
 
2014-07-04 09:17:08 PM  
Upon hearing the headline my kids said "she belongs in a mental institution" and "call 911, she's crazy".  I think my kids are not very tolerant of odd folks which is strange as they are my kids, either that or I better watch my back.
 
2014-07-04 09:18:37 PM  
Looks like she could also use a little of this.....

bestcurls.com
 
2014-07-04 09:18:53 PM  
Hey, I feed my Shih Tzu's Mighty Dog from those little cans. The thick sliced dinner flavors smell pretty damm good. I'm tempted to try a can of it over a bed of steamed rice....
 
2014-07-04 09:18:58 PM  
Monkey Chow Diaries already did this.  Nearly 10 years ago.
 
2014-07-04 09:23:12 PM  
playing2lose.files.wordpress.com

They've enjoyed dog chow.
 
2014-07-04 09:23:31 PM  
As long as she bags her poop and doesn't leave it on the curb strip I'm cool with this.
 
2014-07-04 09:31:23 PM  
I once ate minge for a month.
 
2014-07-04 09:32:34 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Approves
 
2014-07-04 09:33:18 PM  
I bet her urine will smell horrid.
 
2014-07-04 09:36:32 PM  
Ah, that's so cute, she thinks she's people.
 
2014-07-04 09:38:37 PM  
Depends on the pet food. From when she was four until I lost her a few weeks before she turned 17, my Beaglish Girl got a home cooked diet of chicken w/ broccoli and carrots every night, with some supplements,..A human could live pretty decently on that too.

img.fark.net
 
2014-07-04 09:42:09 PM  
My dogs like that Kibbles N Bits with the "neatly morsels" or whatever, and those little t-bones don't look too bad...

/they won't eat the "healthy" stuff
//14 and 9, both healthy as can be
 
2014-07-04 09:44:20 PM  
Video soon to be on Reddit of her licking her own ass.
 
2014-07-04 09:52:40 PM  
I see what you did there, subby

nice work!
 
2014-07-04 10:03:21 PM  
I read that making dog food is a real challenge because it has to smell and taste good to the dog (which in itself is easy), but it has to smell reasonably good to humans, or they won't buy it.
 
2014-07-04 10:13:07 PM  
As a pet owner who frequently feeds his dogs with the entrails of my murdered victims, I'm getting a big kick out of this thread.
 
2014-07-04 10:22:39 PM  
I did that in 2009 it lasted 5 days and I ended up in the hospital, it was the worse decision I ever made.
 
2014-07-04 10:24:06 PM  

Podmore: As nutritious? Maybe. Prepared with human-level standards for contamination? No.


Given how concerned many are for their pets today?  It'd be closer than you think.  For that matter - pet store woman; she's probably eating the premium product lines.

Podmore: I read that making dog food is a real challenge because it has to smell and taste good to the dog (which in itself is easy), but it has to smell reasonably good to humans, or they won't buy it.


Hehehe...  Yep.  I always laugh a bit when some comic/show has somebody disabling a superhero(or ninja) that has 'a dog's sense of smell' with a stink-bomb.  Yes, dogs can sniff out scents far more fragile than humans can - but they can also power through stinks that would drive a human to vomit.
 
gja
2014-07-04 10:26:37 PM  
Well, she will get plenty of ruffage......
 
gja
2014-07-04 10:29:20 PM  

numbone: Video soon to be on Reddit of her licking her own ass.


If only I could find a woman that flexible. Oh, the possibilities.
 
Ral
2014-07-04 10:32:54 PM  
Sure it will be as nutritious...for the pet.  Dogs and cats (and other animals) have very different nutrient needs from humans.  Cat food, for instance, is very high in oils that cats need, but which humans do not.  Also, cats are pure carnivores.  Humans cannot live on an all-meat diet.  Our digestive tract isn't designed for it.

mark12A: Hey, I feed my Shih Tzu's Mighty Dog from those little cans. The thick sliced dinner flavors smell pretty damm good. I'm tempted to try a can of it over a bed of steamed rice....


You will be bitterly disappointed.
 
2014-07-04 10:33:34 PM  

mikeray: I did that in 2009 it lasted 5 days and I ended up in the hospital, it was the worse decision I ever made.


Sounds like you were going through some ruff times.
 
2014-07-04 10:35:27 PM  

farkingismybusiness: mikeray: I did that in 2009 it lasted 5 days and I ended up in the hospital, it was the worse decision I ever made.

Sounds like you were going through some ruff times.


The food wasn't that bad but I was laying in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car ran over me.
 
2014-07-04 10:46:52 PM  
Just split a can of salmon with my cats, so I am getting a kick...

Nutritionally, this would probably work if you were buying the fancy kinds of pet food she probably wants to sell more of.

Contamination was mentioned above - I've seen a few pet food brands (canned, mostly) which claimed they met human food safety standards. Vitamin C is also being added to premium brands of dog food for nutritional reasons, and ascorbic acid is also sometimes used as a preservative.
 
2014-07-04 11:24:03 PM  

Firethorn: Podmore: As nutritious? Maybe. Prepared with human-level standards for contamination? No.

Given how concerned many are for their pets today?  It'd be closer than you think.  For that matter - pet store woman; she's probably eating the premium product lines.

Podmore: I read that making dog food is a real challenge because it has to smell and taste good to the dog (which in itself is easy), but it has to smell reasonably good to humans, or they won't buy it.

Hehehe...  Yep.  I always laugh a bit when some comic/show has somebody disabling a superhero(or ninja) that has 'a dog's sense of smell' with a stink-bomb.  Yes, dogs can sniff out scents far more fragile than humans can - but they can also power through stinks that would drive a human to vomit.


I have a close relative that worked for Purnia until recently.  She was in the engineering side of things but her job took her to a lot of the factories and required her to know most of the recipes.  So yes this is hearsay, but from what I gather you would be AMAZED at how seriously they take quality control. A US dog food factory is probably at least as clean as they place producing your chicken nuggets.

It's less nutritional and appetizing to us, but a lot of that is because we have different needs and tastes than dogs and cats.  For example, there is much less salt in good dog food than in human dishes, apparently dogs' kidneys can't process salt as well.  It includes a lot more organ meant too, because it is cheap, but also because they LOVE that stuff.  Your dog doesn't want steak, he wants liver.  For a similar reason, they actually have "test dogs" they use to sample new flavors, since we would find most of them revolting.

Also, much like human food, you mostly get what you pay for.  A bag of cheap kibble is the pet foodequivalent of feeding you kids pizza and burgers, loads of useless calories and mediocre nutrition.  It won't kill a dog, but it's not really a good staple.

/useless trivia time:  There is one particular grain fungus (the name escapes me) that is deadly to dogs but mostly harmless to people.  So they test for it at the factory, and any batch that is contaminated is sold on down the road.  In the case of this particular factory, well, Taco Bell made shells across town.
 
2014-07-04 11:31:40 PM  

DrunkWithImpotence: Firethorn: Podmore: As nutritious? Maybe. Prepared with human-level standards for contamination? No.

Given how concerned many are for their pets today?  It'd be closer than you think.  For that matter - pet store woman; she's probably eating the premium product lines.

Podmore: I read that making dog food is a real challenge because it has to smell and taste good to the dog (which in itself is easy), but it has to smell reasonably good to humans, or they won't buy it.

Hehehe...  Yep.  I always laugh a bit when some comic/show has somebody disabling a superhero(or ninja) that has 'a dog's sense of smell' with a stink-bomb.  Yes, dogs can sniff out scents far more fragile than humans can - but they can also power through stinks that would drive a human to vomit.

I have a close relative that worked for Purnia until recently.  She was in the engineering side of things but her job took her to a lot of the factories and required her to know most of the recipes.  So yes this is hearsay, but from what I gather you would be AMAZED at how seriously they take quality control. A US dog food factory is probably at least as clean as they place producing your chicken nuggets.

It's less nutritional and appetizing to us, but a lot of that is because we have different needs and tastes than dogs and cats.  For example, there is much less salt in good dog food than in human dishes, apparently dogs' kidneys can't process salt as well.  It includes a lot more organ meant too, because it is cheap, but also because they LOVE that stuff.  Your dog doesn't want steak, he wants liver.  For a similar reason, they actually have "test dogs" they use to sample new flavors, since we would find most of them revolting.

Also, much like human food, you mostly get what you pay for.  A bag of cheap kibble is the pet foodequivalent of feeding you kids pizza and burgers, loads of useless calories and mediocre nutrition.  It won't kill a dog, but it's not really a good staple.

/useless trivia time:   ...


finish that thought. "Taco Bell is unfit for a ___."
 
2014-07-05 12:17:57 AM  

SpdrJay: ArkAngel: You're not going to get the right mix of vitamins in dog food. There is, generally speaking, no vitamin C in dog food because they don't require it in their diet

They get it from licking their butts.


Then I'm getting plenty of Vitamin C.
 
gja
2014-07-05 12:25:13 AM  

mikeray: farkingismybusiness: mikeray: I did that in 2009 it lasted 5 days and I ended up in the hospital, it was the worse decision I ever made.

Sounds like you were going through some ruff times.

The food wasn't that bad but I was laying in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car ran over me.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-05 12:29:06 AM  
IIRC, Vince van Patten came out with a line of dog foods that was formulated to be so much like stew, he'd eat them to prove how tasty and nutritious they were.

Yeah, the "Eight is Enough" guy.
 
2014-07-05 12:36:17 AM  

SpdrJay: ArkAngel: You're not going to get the right mix of vitamins in dog food. There is, generally speaking, no vitamin C in dog food because they don't require it in their diet

They get it from licking their butts.


I'm not licking her butt ..
 
2014-07-05 12:54:17 AM  

DrunkWithImpotence: Firethorn: Podmore: As nutritious? Maybe. Prepared with human-level standards for contamination? No.

Given how concerned many are for their pets today?  It'd be closer than you think.  For that matter - pet store woman; she's probably eating the premium product lines.

Podmore: I read that making dog food is a real challenge because it has to smell and taste good to the dog (which in itself is easy), but it has to smell reasonably good to humans, or they won't buy it.

Hehehe...  Yep.  I always laugh a bit when some comic/show has somebody disabling a superhero(or ninja) that has 'a dog's sense of smell' with a stink-bomb.  Yes, dogs can sniff out scents far more fragile than humans can - but they can also power through stinks that would drive a human to vomit.

I have a close relative that worked for Purnia until recently.  She was in the engineering side of things but her job took her to a lot of the factories and required her to know most of the recipes.  So yes this is hearsay, but from what I gather you would be AMAZED at how seriously they take quality control. A US dog food factory is probably at least as clean as they place producing your chicken nuggets.

It's less nutritional and appetizing to us, but a lot of that is because we have different needs and tastes than dogs and cats.  For example, there is much less salt in good dog food than in human dishes, apparently dogs' kidneys can't process salt as well.  It includes a lot more organ meant too, because it is cheap, but also because they LOVE that stuff.  Your dog doesn't want steak, he wants liver.  For a similar reason, they actually have "test dogs" they use to sample new flavors, since we would find most of them revolting.

Also, much like human food, you mostly get what you pay for.  A bag of cheap kibble is the pet foodequivalent of feeding you kids pizza and burgers, loads of useless calories and mediocre nutrition.  It won't kill a dog, but it's not really a good staple.

/useless trivia time:   ...


This.  They also like bones and cartilage and feathers and GI tract and all that other "yucky" stuff.  They don't just like it, those are important components of their natural diet. That's why I laugh at those commercials that excitedly claim to have "no byproducts" or "only deboned chicken/lamb/etc".  We humans have been conditioned to scorn everything but skeletal muscle but there's nothing wrong with your dog eating other parts of animals.  It's good for him!

As to eating dog food, it's probably better for her than the millions of people who chow down on fast food for 2-3 meals a day.  None of them drop dead in a month (in a few decades yes) so she'll be fine.  She'll probably lose weight given that it's
 
2014-07-05 01:09:49 AM  
Really, really?  My dog eats stuff off of the floor, including dryer lint and toe jam, and is fed Beneful.  Not one of my favorite dog foods but it is a bit cheaper than IAMS and doesn't cause her allergies to act up (second hand dog, otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered)  As we've moved into treat based training lately, she gets *a* Milkbone when she's good.  Hint, don't ever hold a Milkbone in your mouth even though it may seem convenient, those things are certainly not milk and may be tougher than bone.  She likes them, tho.

/eating ramen before I would eat dog food, but, hell, the dog doesn't like ramen too much so the difference is split.
 
2014-07-05 01:36:57 AM  

UsikFark: As long as she bags her poop and doesn't leave it on the curb strip I'm cool with this.


... what's a "curb strip?"

/no, really
//I mean, I can sorta guess, but what specifically?
 
2014-07-05 01:51:33 AM  

brimed03: UsikFark: As long as she bags her poop and doesn't leave it on the curb strip I'm cool with this.

... what's a "curb strip?"

/no, really
//I mean, I can sorta guess, but what specifically?


The grass between the sidewalk and the road. Also known as the verge.
 
2014-07-05 04:26:11 AM  
Wow, I'm not seeing a lot of biatch jokes.  I'm ashamed, Fark.

From the looks of it, she has plenty of fat to live off of for the next month.  Even if she ends up throwing up all the dog food, she'll still survive as long as she's hydrated.
 
2014-07-05 06:02:52 AM  

DrunkWithImpotence: I have a close relative that worked for Purnia until recently.  She was in the engineering side of things but her job took her to a lot of the factories and required her to know most of the recipes.  So yes this is hearsay, but from what I gather you would be AMAZED at how seriously they take quality control. A US dog food factory is probably at least as clean as they place producing your chicken nuggets.


That doesn't surprise me.  The last thing Purina needs is an outbreak of contamination in their pet food.  It would ruin their otherwise decent reputation.  That said, the plants that make your chicken nuggets?  They save the worst parts of the animals to sell to pet food companies and chicken nuggets and pink slime aren't the worst of it.
 
2014-07-05 06:39:02 AM  
Been done, and longer than a month by these two.

ytims.files.wordpress.com

eil.com
 
2014-07-05 06:42:11 AM  

kibblesnbits: Depends on the pet food. From when she was four until I lost her a few weeks before she turned 17, my Beaglish Girl got a home cooked diet of chicken w/ broccoli and carrots every night, with some supplements,..A human could live pretty decently on that too.

[img.fark.net image 254x216]


My next door neighbour makes her dog beef stew. Every month she'll make three huge pots of the stuff and freeze it. It consists of beef, potatoes, barley, carrots and peas with a bit of bovril for flavour. Her dog don't won't eat anything else apart from alpo cookies. The thing ispretty healthy, except the food has caused him to develope fatty tumours all over.

Podmore: I read that making dog food is a real challenge because it has to smell and taste good to the dog (which in itself is easy), but it has to smell reasonably good to humans, or they won't buy it.


I feed my dog one of two relatively premium brands; Origin and Acana. Both smell so frickin bad. I usually retch everytime I open the bag for her. But she loves the stuff.

If I am feeling generous and am feeling the need to absolutely hate myself, I give her a bit of canned green tripe. It's the greatest thing ever to her. but smells so horrendously.
 
2014-07-05 07:57:33 AM  

Ral: Humans cannot live on an all-meat diet


You should probably tell that to the various ethnic groups that have historically lived on all-meat diets, such as the Masai and Inuit peoples.

/IIRC, the Mongols ate mostly meat and dairy as well.
 
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