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(Buzzfeed)   Staggeringly hot, dresses like a '50s model, bakes some seriously freaky-ass pies - I think we've found Fark's perfect woman   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 81
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23881 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2014 at 4:08 PM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



81 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-04 02:23:53 PM
Holy crap, a Buzzfeed link that I don't regret clicking! This one's a keeper, fellas (and ladies)...
 
2014-07-04 02:40:33 PM
In the immortal words of Mr. Plinkett, "What's wrong with your face?"
 
2014-07-04 04:12:41 PM
Humminah, humminah, humminah, humminah.....
 
2014-07-04 04:13:03 PM
I think this applies here:

img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-04 04:14:45 PM
Never been big on desserts. Women however..... Fellas you can have the cake, I'll take the baker!
 
2014-07-04 04:16:24 PM
Dibs

/called it f i r s t.
 
2014-07-04 04:17:26 PM
mylittlefacewhen.com
 
2014-07-04 04:17:32 PM
Obligatory (NSFW)

/didn't read TFA
 
2014-07-04 04:19:20 PM
I'd be on that like a fat kid on a cupcake.
 
2014-07-04 04:20:19 PM
Does she have fifties bush?
 
2014-07-04 04:20:40 PM
I saw one of these for sale somewhere, and while I thought it was kinda cool, the idea of having one in the house creeps me out. And, I tried to imagine bringing a woman back to my place, and the odds of her not wanting to immediately leave after seeing it, and never come back. As it turns out, there's apparently at least one woman in this world who can appreciate such things. But it's possible that she might be the only one of her kind on the planet.
www.entertainmentearth.com
 
2014-07-04 04:21:51 PM

CruJones: Does she have fifties bush?


Like a chia pet
 
2014-07-04 04:22:18 PM
Attention whore. No thanks.
 
2014-07-04 04:22:57 PM
Did they clone her from earlier this week?
 
2014-07-04 04:23:56 PM
Without the makeup and odd viewing angles it looks like she ran into a few windows/sliding doors as a kid. Never been a fan of pugs for that reason. But hey, whatever turns your crank.
 
2014-07-04 04:24:05 PM
Too skinny to be a real 50's woman, Needs some curves.
 
2014-07-04 04:25:13 PM
She looks like a Stepford Wife. I'll pass. High maintenance and probably crazy as a mopless jizzmopper.
 
2014-07-04 04:27:19 PM
I think I'm in love, regardless of the above concerns. *googly eyes*
 
2014-07-04 04:27:27 PM

Nix Nightbird: She looks like a Stepford Wife. I'll pass. High maintenance and probably crazy as a mopless jizzmopper.

 Meh, You want to live a boring life, you go for it.
 
2014-07-04 04:29:59 PM

FatherChaos: I think this applies here:

[img3.wikia.nocookie.net image 431x243]


Damnit.............. you're right.

Tricked again.
 
2014-07-04 04:30:20 PM
"Mother of three cats"
 
2014-07-04 04:30:31 PM
Kind of severe looking though dont you think?, i mean, her knees are properly rounded.. but that nose is much too sharp edged. So i suppose you count call her hot, if your into that sort of thing.
she does demonstrate wonderful creativity in her baking. gotta give her points for that. over all 7.5
 
2014-07-04 04:31:11 PM

Nix Nightbird: She looks like a Stepford Wife. I'll pass. High maintenance and probably crazy as a mopless jizzmopper.


"A mopless jizzmoppper."

/ok... that about does it for me....
//Will file that one under.... nowhere.
 
2014-07-04 04:31:24 PM
I'd give that a creampie filling.
 
2014-07-04 04:33:31 PM
I'll gladly serve as her broomstick.
 
2014-07-04 04:34:10 PM
Because of that one XKCD strip, completely misread this headline.
 
2014-07-04 04:38:45 PM

Clemkadidlefark: Attention whore. No thanks.


You're intimidated by independent, creative women with interests outside of your comfort zone; good to know.
 
2014-07-04 04:39:32 PM
That chick that did
biatchin' kitchen was hotter and crazier.
 
2014-07-04 04:39:34 PM
Being a real woman.  She is doing it right.
 
2014-07-04 04:40:36 PM

HairyNevus: Obligatory (NSFW)

/didn't read TFA


I'm gonna start my own website that just reposts reordered Buzzfeed lists.
 
2014-07-04 04:45:55 PM
While she would probably be high maintenance, after looking at those desserts you just know she likes to have her tits slapped around a bit.  I say she'd be worth a shot.
 
2014-07-04 04:47:47 PM

BATMANATEE: HairyNevus: Obligatory (NSFW)

/didn't read TFA

I'm gonna start my own website that just reposts reordered Buzzfeed lists.


37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-04 04:47:53 PM
I dunno, she kind of insists upon herself.
 
2014-07-04 04:48:24 PM
Screw the cakes, while neat do not answer the important question.

Can she get me a sammich without being told twice?
 
2014-07-04 04:53:52 PM
Ah, nice, but you have to remember, nostalgia isn't always as kind. As a small boy, I remember, since my Grandmother was really old when she had him(40s), talking about how sos-and-so died, Heart attack, hardening of the arteries, that stuff. Nowadays we know most of what's "Bad" for us, but elect to do it anyway.A commercial I saw years back, showed a skillet dumping cooked eggs out of it on to a plate, saying "Thhis Man was killed by...Love"
A pie made with a lard crust is worth killing for. Or making one for that matter.
Saw the top 12 on Kitty Foreman on that site as well, what's missing is Red-"Don't wake your mother. She's very tired."
 
2014-07-04 05:05:08 PM
Not to be all "Studman69" over here (as I'm no prize petunia) but that picture with 7 photoshopped versions of herself attending to her look just killed it for me. It just says, "I'm Hot and the amount of work that goes into being Hot... hoo boy, that's tough." When you make artwork about yourself and it's about how pretty you are ("isn't it quirky that she makes weird cakes?") I just don't know what you're trying to do other than be a disposable pretty commodity.
 
2014-07-04 05:07:11 PM
There is an awful lot of insecurity in this thread,
 
2014-07-04 05:13:29 PM
Do I get to treat her like it is the 50s?
 
2014-07-04 05:19:34 PM
1950s surbubian American dream gone awry, now there's a genre that hasn't been explored enough in pop culture.
 
2014-07-04 05:20:22 PM

mojo wire: There is an awful lot of insecurity in this thread,


Also some of the pix on instagram are freakin jet hot,
 
2014-07-04 05:21:47 PM
Mother of three cats...
 
2014-07-04 05:27:59 PM
Freaky ass-pies? Eeew.

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2014-07-04 05:30:12 PM
If you like horses I guess
 
2014-07-04 05:36:05 PM
I like that she doesn't just carve everything out of fondant. She uses caramel as glue and sugar/milk as glaze. I'd eat it, and I'm not just talking about the pie.
 
2014-07-04 05:57:14 PM

HairyNevus: Obligatory (NSFW)

/didn't read TFA


Holy crap, I forgot about Maddox.


Wyalt Derp: I dunno, she kind of insists upon herself.


She really does.  Though from this thread, I've learned that if this is what you think, you're really an insecure and boring man who is afraid of independent, creative women.  Heaven forbid people have different tastes and likes.  This is Fark, after all!
 
2014-07-04 05:59:54 PM
I ran into her work on reddit a couple of months ago (user/ChristineHMcConnell).  She comments most of her arty pics.  Has a good case of "artist-weird", which I guess you either like or not.  Good photo work though.  I'm kinda fond of her new one:
http://imgur.com/a/MKdpn
 
2014-07-04 06:19:01 PM

Bathysphere: I like that she doesn't just carve everything out of fondant. She uses caramel as glue and sugar/milk as glaze. I'd eat it, and I'm not just talking about the pie.


Not even the hair pie?  Remember, if she's truly trying to pay homage to the 50s she'd definitely have hair around the Tunnel of Love.
 
2014-07-04 06:27:42 PM

ReverendJynxed: Without the makeup and odd viewing angles it looks like she ran into a few windows/sliding doors as a kid. Never been a fan of pugs for that reason. But hey, whatever turns your crank.


It's not really "whatever" at all. You have next to no choice in the matter unless your going to design your own engine.

Nominally aspirated internal combustion engines utilize a Bendix to initially turn the crank by engaging a flywheel that is bolted to the crank.
i01.i.aliimg.com

Once combustion is achieved and the engine is running it's the internal combustion in a cylinder that provides down force of a piston and connecting rod assembly. The down force of the piston and rod assembly continues the crank rotation as long as the internal combustion continues.
media.web.britannica.com
 
2014-07-04 06:31:53 PM

iron de havilland: Freaky ass-pies? Eeew.

[imgs.xkcd.com image 500x342]


yeah, i don't want any ass pies. thanks
 
2014-07-04 06:34:14 PM

FatherChaos: I think this applies here:

[img3.wikia.nocookie.net image 431x243]


only if its as a textbook example of the perfect storm of maximum hotness and just the precisely endearing amount of crazy.
 
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