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(Fark)   So, you bought hundreds of dollars of fireworks. You have the clay tubes...the blowtorch, and the safety glasses. Now, what do you have on your playlist?   (fark.com) divider line 135
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1391 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2014 at 12:00 PM (3 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



135 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-04 12:58:15 AM
metal and hardcore
 
2014-07-04 01:02:46 AM
I did a show once where the boss had a sense of humor. A selection of instrumental versions of patriotic music, but "America" was from West Side Story.
 
2014-07-04 01:03:17 AM
 
2014-07-04 01:03:52 AM
The sound of my happy kid is enough. Last year some passive aggressive arsehole drove through the neighborhood biatching at everyone about fireworks landing in his yard and on his roof. I purposely started aiming mortar tubes toward his house after that and plan on doing the same again tomorrow.
 
2014-07-04 01:04:32 AM
Nausea... The Pist... Toxic Narcotic... and Extreme Noise Terror
 
2014-07-04 01:04:48 AM
Where's Your Head At - Basement Jaxx
 
2014-07-04 01:04:52 AM
I don't.  I think playing with fireworks is dumb.  I live in a place that gets dry a lot and who knows where they are going to land.  There are also a lot of little kids and dogs that get upset when crackers boom right outside their window.  I think you're selfish and rude and I hope you blow a hand off.
 
2014-07-04 01:05:36 AM
Bring the ruckus.
 
2014-07-04 01:05:41 AM
Johnny Cash
 
2014-07-04 01:07:50 AM

MissFeasance: I don't.  I think playing with fireworks is dumb.  I live in a place that gets dry a lot and who knows where they are going to land.  There are also a lot of little kids and dogs that get upset when crackers boom right outside their window.  I think you're selfish and rude and I hope you blow a hand off.


You would have so much fun. Explosions. I have like a million bottle rockets.
 
2014-07-04 01:07:58 AM
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy: Tchaikovsky.
Holst the Planets: Mars
Firebird suite...(the last two bits).
Aron Copland: Billy the Kid. Or Appalachian Spring.
Louis Armstrong: A Beautiful World.
Ethyl Merman: America the Beautiful.
Finale:  John Philip Sousa: Stars and Strips forever. Or 1812 overture.
 
2014-07-04 01:07:59 AM
1812 overture
 
2014-07-04 01:08:45 AM

Sidetrack: 1812 overture


PSYCH!!!
 
2014-07-04 01:09:22 AM

Sidetrack: 1812 overture


Worst overture ever
 
2014-07-04 01:10:02 AM

MissFeasance: I don't.  I think playing with fireworks is dumb.  I live in a place that gets dry a lot and who knows where they are going to land.  There are also a lot of little kids and dogs that get upset when crackers boom right outside their window.  I think you're selfish and rude and I hope you blow a hand off.


I would stick you in a kiddie pool and give you a handful of sparklers, sweetie.
 
2014-07-04 01:10:06 AM

wizden: You would have so much fun. Explosions. I have like a million bottle rockets.


Roman candles are the most fun thing in the world...

So much chaos...
 
2014-07-04 01:10:46 AM
Ferrari motor lapping my f*ckhole if we're really answering the question.
 
2014-07-04 01:11:22 AM

monty666: Sidetrack: 1812 overture

Worst overture ever


I know, right? Cannons are so passé
 
2014-07-04 01:11:30 AM

wizden: You would have so much fun. Explosions. I have like a million bottle rockets.


I'm all for taking my gun to the firing range.  If someone wants to go to a big huge paved area with proper firetrucks and EMTs I'd be fine with it. Go play big badda boom.  Don't set the trees behind my house on fire again.
 
2014-07-04 01:12:15 AM
 
2014-07-04 01:12:35 AM

professorkowalski: wizden: You would have so much fun. Explosions. I have like a million bottle rockets.

Roman candles are the most fun thing in the world...

So much chaos...


OK. Real time bro. Is 4 and 9 too much of an age gap in bottle rocket war?
 
2014-07-04 01:12:59 AM

monty666: Sidetrack: 1812 overture

Worst overture ever


fine... 1813 overture
 
2014-07-04 01:14:34 AM

SuperTramp: I would stick you in a kiddie pool and give you a handful of sparklers, sweetie.


I am pretty sure this would be considered an act of domestic terrorism
 
2014-07-04 01:16:02 AM

MissFeasance: wizden: You would have so much fun. Explosions. I have like a million bottle rockets.

I'm all for taking my gun to the firing range.  If someone wants to go to a big huge paved area with proper firetrucks and EMTs I'd be fine with it. Go play big badda boom.  Don't set the trees behind my house on fire again.


I just lit a metric f*ckton of fireworks out of a wine bottle in my yard. This is never gonna work feasy.
 
2014-07-04 01:16:32 AM

wizden: Ferrari motor lapping my f*ckhole if we're really answering the question.


Thank you for your Formula 1 commentary.
 
2014-07-04 01:17:15 AM

monty666: Sidetrack: 1812 overture

Worst overture ever


I rather liked the concept of "overtures" in movies.

In the 'day' long movies would have a intermission....the film would stop and you'd go for bathroom break or conession stand..smoke..or all of the above.
There would be 'filler' on the screen a "overture"

65.96.164.35

Which would have the sill frame and music.

For theater owners..this concept was gold. People would buy more popcorn, soda, etc. at the intermission.

Lights would dim in the lobby and bathrooms to let you know the show was restarting.
 
2014-07-04 01:17:44 AM
 
2014-07-04 01:18:05 AM
I like that I'm weird enough for that to make sense.
 
2014-07-04 01:18:53 AM

MissFeasance: SuperTramp: I would stick you in a kiddie pool and give you a handful of sparklers, sweetie.

I am pretty sure this would be considered an act of domestic terrorism


Farking great, now we're BOTH on the no-high list.
 
2014-07-04 01:20:12 AM

wizden: I just lit a metric f*ckton of fireworks out of a wine bottle in my yard. This is never gonna work feasy.


Oh, I know.  It's not like I'm introducing legislation or something.  It just pisses me off.  If you want some sparklers or a couple strings of things that mostly just make noise I don't care.  It's the people who do the big ones and then you hear all the dogs start howling or in my case, an hour ago when someone set off one of the BIG ones in my street and I heard the 4 year old start wailing.  That's not cool.
 
2014-07-04 01:21:35 AM

MissFeasance: wizden: I just lit a metric f*ckton of fireworks out of a wine bottle in my yard. This is never gonna work feasy.

Oh, I know.  It's not like I'm introducing legislation or something.  It just pisses me off.  If you want some sparklers or a couple strings of things that mostly just make noise I don't care.  It's the people who do the big ones and then you hear all the dogs start howling or in my case, an hour ago when someone set off one of the BIG ones in my street and I heard the 4 year old start wailing.  That's not cool.


America
 
2014-07-04 01:23:07 AM

wizden: MissFeasance: wizden: I just lit a metric f*ckton of fireworks out of a wine bottle in my yard. This is never gonna work feasy.

Oh, I know.  It's not like I'm introducing legislation or something.  It just pisses me off.  If you want some sparklers or a couple strings of things that mostly just make noise I don't care.  It's the people who do the big ones and then you hear all the dogs start howling or in my case, an hour ago when someone set off one of the BIG ones in my street and I heard the 4 year old start wailing.  That's not cool.

America


That 4 year old is my personal flower buying assistant, dammit, I need her sharp in the morning
 
2014-07-04 01:23:53 AM

optikeye: monty666: Sidetrack: 1812 overture

Worst overture ever

I rather liked the concept of "overtures" in movies.

In the 'day' long movies would have a intermission....the film would stop and you'd go for bathroom break or conession stand..smoke..or all of the above.
There would be 'filler' on the screen a "overture"

[65.96.164.35 image 640x480]

Which would have the sill frame and music.

For theater owners..this concept was gold. People would buy more popcorn, soda, etc. at the intermission.

Lights would dim in the lobby and bathrooms to let you know the show was restarting.


Reminds me of "Gone With The Wind"
 
2014-07-04 01:24:34 AM

MissFeasance: wizden: I just lit a metric f*ckton of fireworks out of a wine bottle in my yard. This is never gonna work feasy.

Oh, I know.  It's not like I'm introducing legislation or something.  It just pisses me off.  If you want some sparklers or a couple strings of things that mostly just make noise I don't care.  It's the people who do the big ones and then you hear all the dogs start howling or in my case, an hour ago when someone set off one of the BIG ones in my street and I heard the 4 year old start wailing.  That's not cool.


That's when you do cuddle dog...and protect them from the angry sky god...which sometimes make this 'thunder' thing. That's not cool...stupid sky god.
 
2014-07-04 01:25:25 AM

optikeye: I rather liked the concept of "overtures" in movies.


I have fond memories of intermissions, and I'll forever associate the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz with the smell of the cigar the guy sitting in front of us lit up when I was 5 or 6 seeing it at the theater.

not the original release, I'm not that old

I miss the cartoon shorts before the main feature too. if if ever get landbound again and set up a home theater room I'm going to 'splice' shorts to the front of the 'films'
 
2014-07-04 01:26:41 AM
Kids filling gallon milk jugs with propellents really piss me off. The stuff from the friendly local fireworks stand not so much.

/a spud gun and big ass noise maker have a lot in common, i guess
 
2014-07-04 01:28:56 AM

wizden: OK. Real time bro. Is 4 and 9 too much of an age gap in bottle rocket war?


Can the child talk?

Can the child talk in such a way that you can understand the words of the child?

If yes to both questions... that child can play with bottle rockets.

Wait till they hit 13 before allowing them to fire Roman Candles at each other.
 
2014-07-04 01:31:26 AM

Sidetrack: I miss the cartoon shorts before the main feature too. if if ever get landbound again and set up a home theater room I'm going to 'splice' shorts to the front of the 'films'


I have a Loney Tune laserdisc of all their cartoon form 1938 to (ahh mid 1940's).

They have it released on DVD in a couple of versions...so look to see if it's 'censored'.

The one I have has the stork getting drunk...and Broomhilda...getting drunk. And other charceters smoking cigs...etc.

But the one that's 'worst' or best.....is bugs bunny on a pacific Island: He sets up an icecream shop.
To sell 'ice cream' to Bucktooth japaneese wearing thick glasses..The Ice cream is actually a hand granade painted to look like a ice cream on stick...They blow up damn good.

Bugs Nips the Nips...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsCZKkjR8NI
 
2014-07-04 01:31:46 AM

professorkowalski: wizden: OK. Real time bro. Is 4 and 9 too much of an age gap in bottle rocket war?

Can the child talk?

Can the child talk in such a way that you can understand the words of the child?

If yes to both questions... that child can play with bottle rockets.

Wait till they hit 13 before allowing them to fire Roman Candles at each other.


That roman candle rule seems like bullsh*t.
 
2014-07-04 01:32:59 AM

wizden: That roman candle rule seems like bullsh*t


At least 3 times in my life I've been firing Roman candles... either at trees... or into the sky... and had them backfire near my head...

This is not a lesson a child needs to learn early.
 
2014-07-04 01:33:20 AM
Sometimes escalation is the move.
 
2014-07-04 01:34:52 AM
wiz... how close is your nearest neighbor???

And are you good friends with them???

And do you have easy access to your roof???
 
2014-07-04 01:37:31 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-04 01:39:16 AM

professorkowalski: Can the child talk?

Can the child talk in such a way that you can understand the words of the child?

If yes to both questions... that child can play with bottle rockets.


a 4 year old?  Seriously?  I mean, the 4 year olds I know, I tend to think they're pretty bright, but...
 
2014-07-04 01:40:49 AM

MissFeasance: professorkowalski: Can the child talk?

Can the child talk in such a way that you can understand the words of the child?

If yes to both questions... that child can play with bottle rockets.

a 4 year old?  Seriously?  I mean, the 4 year olds I know, I tend to think they're pretty bright, but...


I held the lighter for him.
 
2014-07-04 01:43:01 AM

professorkowalski: wiz... how close is your nearest neighbor???

And are you good friends with them???

And do you have easy access to your roof???


Jim would wave his gun around.
 
2014-07-04 01:43:09 AM

wizden: I held the lighter for him.


You had me going.  I'll admit it.
 
2014-07-04 01:44:18 AM
Feasy... OK.... kids need to learn early... you just have to do, as wiz says, help them play with the bottle rockets...

Fireworks are actually really fun...

wizden, sir... I hope you see where my questions are leading, as you and the neighbors can have a crap ton of fun firing bottle rockets at each others roofs...
 
2014-07-04 01:44:45 AM
Fireworks are bad in a drought.

We are always in a drought.

So therefore, fireworks are stupid, you two are stupid and it's bedtime.
 
2014-07-04 01:46:55 AM

Joliebleu: Fireworks are bad in a drought.

We are always in a drought.

So therefore, fireworks are stupid, you two are stupid and it's bedtime.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
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