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(Fark)   Fark Food Thread: USA WEEKEND - Show us your holiday cookouts and red/white/blue creations. We've got a whole weekend so you've got plenty of time to get it right. Show us them vittles   (fark.com) divider line 85
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561 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2014 at 5:00 PM (6 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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DGS [TotalFark]
2014-07-03 04:29:27 PM
The desire to do a cookout is being crushed by tons of rain starting like right now. Meh.
 
2014-07-03 04:40:42 PM
That reminds me, I need to pull some steaks out of the freezer.

Might do kebabs. Haven't decided yet.

No hot dogs, though. Maybe brats.
 
2014-07-03 04:52:16 PM
Gonna be steaks for me tomorrow. Steaks so thick, anything trying to describe them will sound like gay porn.
 
2014-07-03 04:59:31 PM
 
2014-07-03 05:02:58 PM
70 brats and 30 natural casing all beef hot dogs are going on the grill tomorrow.  2 kegs of homebrew are in the fridge.  Someone else is making the salads.
 
2014-07-03 05:06:51 PM
We having a whole hog roast. My brother caters BBQ and is doing the cooking.
 
2014-07-03 05:09:32 PM
I just made some burger patties the other day.  I used ground pork, beef, diced rendered salt pork, the fat rendered back in the patties, egg yolks, and Sun Chips ground up to bind them.  Harvest cheddar Sun Chips to be exact.  I love experimenting with different types of snack chips.
 
2014-07-03 05:11:37 PM
I can't show it to you because I haven't cooked yet, but be assured various meats, cheeses, and other things shall be smoked.
 
2014-07-03 05:14:13 PM
I just want to tell all you farkin' Farkers that I really appreciate these food threads.
 
2014-07-03 05:18:29 PM
Red bean tacos on blue corn tortillas with shredded white cheddar.
 
2014-07-03 05:19:28 PM
It ain't exactly rocket surgery:

A shiatload of ground beef (from a good butcher-- don't cheap out,) some large whole wheat buns, sliced onions and green peppers.

Cook the beef on a CHARCOAL grill (I'll be blunt here-- propane is for pussies who are afraid of flavor) then brown the veggies.

All you should need for seasoning is a little bit of salt.  If your burgers "need" steak sauce then you either farked up and overcooked the meat or you need to find a better butcher.

Put it all on a table for your guests to assemble into hamburgers.  Serve with pretzels and beer.

===============================


skepticchef.com
 
2014-07-03 05:20:52 PM
13 pound brisket and 7 pound pork butt are going on my fancy new horizon smoker. The pork butt will make you cry with its beautiful tastiness. The brisket is new for me. Never smoked on before. It is getting injected with beef stock and rubbed with salt and pepper tonight. In the morning I've got a rub from amazingribs.com that is going on it. Should be mighty good. Now I'm hungry.
 
2014-07-03 05:25:51 PM
i0.kym-cdn.com
I'm gonna kick back with about a thousand slices of American Cheese.

/America fark yeah.
 
2014-07-03 05:26:33 PM

Anderson's Pooper: 70 brats and 30 natural casing all beef hot dogs are going on the grill tomorrow.  2 kegs of homebrew are in the fridge.  Someone else is making the salads.


What are salads?
 
2014-07-03 05:31:53 PM
Anybody can make an American flag cake. But a Declaration of Independence cake is also doable. You don't need the whole photo thing. You can fake it with a writing tip--just get the intro and the John Hancock...
cdn.cakecentral.com
 
2014-07-03 05:31:53 PM

farkingismybusiness: [i0.kym-cdn.com image 850x437]
I'm gonna kick back with about a thousand slices of American Cheese.

/America fark yeah.


Ketchup with cheese? Gross.
 
2014-07-03 05:33:32 PM
High-quality farm-raised beef burgers and steaks.  Grilled asparagus as a side, and peaches for dessert.

I live right next to my town's festivities, so the above is in addition to the requisite crab cake,  And thai bbq chicken.  And ice cream.  And something fried--maybe chicken, possibly fish.  Pulled pork sandwich wouldn't hurt either.  From the best of about 20 food trucks.
 
2014-07-03 05:38:29 PM
www.texasescapes.com

+ your imagination ..
 
2014-07-03 05:43:13 PM
My family doesn't do anything huge.  I think my dad is grilling chicken, and with that will be rice, corn, and homemade cole slaw.  That's it.  There's only going to be six people eating it (mom, dad, sister, her boyfriend, me, my boyfriend), so there's no need to cook a metric ton of food.
 
2014-07-03 05:45:10 PM
I put up flags & bunting on the deck & hook up the PA system to blast the valley with Sousa, the 1812 Overture & other patriotic music :)

Green chile cheese buffalo burgers, the wife's killer potato salad & home made ice cream. No fireworks due to the drought, but I have some specialty shotgun rounds that make a helluva noise.
 
2014-07-03 05:49:28 PM
Trim a rack of lamb.  Wrap the exposed ribs in foil.  Throw it on a medium grill for 20 minutes, turning every five minutes or so.

Right beside the lamb, place unhusked ears of corn soaked in hot water.  Turn them when you turn the lamb.

Add cole slaw and some good crusty bread and you're there.
 
2014-07-03 05:50:58 PM

Frantic Freddie: I have some specialty shotgun rounds that make a helluva noise.


Do they require a specialty shotgun?  Do tell.
 
2014-07-03 05:53:44 PM

Coco LaFemme: My family doesn't do anything huge.  I think my dad is grilling chicken, and with that will be rice, corn, and homemade cole slaw.  That's it.  There's only going to be six people eating it (mom, dad, sister, her boyfriend, me, my boyfriend), so there's no need to cook a metric ton of food.


You might not need to over do it but this is America damn it. You need to eat like it's going out of fashion.
 
2014-07-03 05:57:28 PM

LeroyBourne: I just made some burger patties the other day.  I used ground pork, beef, diced rendered salt pork, the fat rendered back in the patties, egg yolks, and Sun Chips ground up to bind them.  Harvest cheddar Sun Chips to be exact.  I love experimenting with different types of snack chips.


Try pork rinds. Grind them into powder and mix them into the meat. They will add moisture and bind the meat mixture. Plus you can't taste pork rinds
 
2014-07-03 06:01:31 PM

born_yesterday: Grilled asparagus


I KNEW I was forgetting something.
 
2014-07-03 06:02:09 PM
not sure what I'm doing.

if I'm home, then it's just the wife and me, and I think i'll be grilling dead cow.  maybe the flap.  no decisions made yet.

if i'm with the wife's family in acadiana, then i think i'll be grilling whatever they tell me to grill.  however, we may be barbequing, since they have a pretty functional smoker.  probably dead cow (steaks or burgers), dead pork (ribs), and the possibility of dead chicken (i will suggest to grill them in halves, but maybe they'll get bird parts and not a whole bird, in which case, it's just boring town) and/or fish (how knows, maybe they'll do a fish fry).

other than fish fry, seasoning is simple.  salt at least an hour in advance, add pepper before applying heat.  apply heat with purpose and deliberation.  don't fark with the meat, let it rest.

if it's the fish fry, use some cajun fish fry stuff and a high heat oil, like peanut.  i don't know much about fried fish, i just know it's so much better than normal chunky battered fried fish.

/ and, argue with me all you want about the salting issue.  but i know the riddle of salt.
// once i put some shopped fresh tarragon on the steaks before grilling, and i think that was a success.  but, keep it subtle.
 
2014-07-03 06:03:57 PM
Leaving for Vegas in the morning, so cocaine and hookers?
 
2014-07-03 06:05:23 PM
5hoursaday.com
 
2014-07-03 06:05:49 PM
I'm on the road tonight going to the in-laws', so I have no idea what they have planned for tomorrow. Wife and I are coming home Saturday evening (leaving the kid there for the week) and we're going to make skewers on Sunday.
 
2014-07-03 06:08:53 PM
The usual outdoor grilled food for me.  It's supposed to be hot as balls though so will probably hit the fruit drink beer a lot.
 
2014-07-03 06:11:22 PM
Made an apple and banana pie for tomorrow.

/Experiment with your food a little, its summer
 
2014-07-03 06:12:53 PM
got the party started early today.  smoked my ribs for 3 hours this afternoon with a nice mustard, pepper, salt, and cayenne crust.  in the oven right now.  back on the grill in another 90 minutes for the final hour with homemade bbq sauce.  cole slaw, baked beans, Texas Toast, private label brewski (Winston's Pale Ale).  Oh baby...  Gotta stop thinking about it or I'll let go too early
 
2014-07-03 06:13:46 PM
img.fark.net
img.fark.net

Lemon meringue pie.  Summer deliciousness!
 
2014-07-03 06:21:00 PM
I've got to talk to the in-laws at my folks tonight, but I think I'll do ribs for them tomorrow. Saturday is already taken care of and Sunday I'll probably do a pork butt.
 
2014-07-03 06:23:29 PM

robodog: I've got to talk to the in-laws at my folks tonight, but I think I'll do ribs for them tomorrow. Saturday is already taken care of and Sunday I'll probably do a pork butt.


That's no way to talk about your wife.
 
2014-07-03 06:25:52 PM

Spanky McStupid: [img.fark.net image 850x637]
[img.fark.net image 850x637]

Lemon meringue pie.  Summer deliciousness!


media.tumblr.com
Oh jeez...
 
2014-07-03 06:29:40 PM
Well i would, but im too busy looking for a job since the business i worked for suddenly closed its doors forever due to the economy, my car is broken, so i have to walk everywhere looking for work, and i can't afford to pay my mortgage which is a week overdue.  But yes, seriously, everyone have a good fourth.
 
2014-07-03 06:30:29 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Frantic Freddie: I have some specialty shotgun rounds that make a helluva noise.

Do they require a specialty shotgun?  Do tell.


Standard 12 ga...I know you're being snarky, but there are shotgun rounds beyond the usual pellet or slug.
 
2014-07-03 06:33:04 PM

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Coco LaFemme: My family doesn't do anything huge.  I think my dad is grilling chicken, and with that will be rice, corn, and homemade cole slaw.  That's it.  There's only going to be six people eating it (mom, dad, sister, her boyfriend, me, my boyfriend), so there's no need to cook a metric ton of food.

You might not need to over do it but this is America damn it. You need to eat like it's going out of fashion.


Okay, I'll slice a couple of good tomatoes and put that on the table too.
 
2014-07-03 06:43:39 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: Well i would, but im too busy looking for a job since the business i worked for suddenly closed its doors forever due to the economy, my car is broken, so i have to walk everywhere looking for work, and i can't afford to pay my mortgage which is a week overdue.  But yes, seriously, everyone have a good fourth.


USA! USA! USA!
 
Ant
2014-07-03 06:47:19 PM
We're making jerk chicken
rasamalaysia.com

Also making some black beans and coconut rice
 
2014-07-03 06:48:47 PM
Red white and blue potato salad is on the menu for tomorrow.

All home grown potatoes too.

//love those bluish purple potatoes!
 
2014-07-03 06:52:13 PM

max_pooper: What are salads?


Omnivores should eat everything and anything possible, and that includes plants. There are lots of tasty plants. I always eat a big bowl of them before I eat my tasty animals. Keeps my tail bushy and my coat glossy.
 
2014-07-03 06:58:01 PM

max_pooper: Anderson's Pooper: 70 brats and 30 natural casing all beef hot dogs are going on the grill tomorrow.  2 kegs of homebrew are in the fridge.  Someone else is making the salads.

What are salads?


It's what food eats.
 
2014-07-03 06:59:44 PM

Coco LaFemme: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Coco LaFemme: My family doesn't do anything huge.  I think my dad is grilling chicken, and with that will be rice, corn, and homemade cole slaw.  That's it.  There's only going to be six people eating it (mom, dad, sister, her boyfriend, me, my boyfriend), so there's no need to cook a metric ton of food.

You might not need to over do it but this is America damn it. You need to eat like it's going out of fashion.

Okay, I'll slice a couple of good tomatoes and put that on the table too.


As an American it's your duty to gorge out like a pig every holiday.
 
2014-07-03 06:59:56 PM
vittles?

bie? eip

same thing?


/stuck at work all night
 
2014-07-03 07:00:19 PM

robodog: I've got to talk to the in-laws at my folks tonight, but I think I'll do ribs for them tomorrow. Saturday is already taken care of and Sunday I'll probably do a pork butt.


Pork butt is going on the smoker early (way too farking early) tomorrow morning with two racks of beef ribs.  Why beef ribs and not pork ribs?  Because I can and they're farking awesome!
 
2014-07-03 07:06:01 PM

Ant: We're making jerk chicken
[rasamalaysia.com image 550x825]

Also making some black beans and coconut rice


I'll have to try that recipe, looks good, the last time I tried to make jerk chicken it didn't turn out well.
 
2014-07-03 07:19:59 PM

meat0918: Red white and blue potato salad is on the menu for tomorrow.

All home grown potatoes too.

//love those bluish purple potatoes!


What part of the country do you live in?

I could check your profile to see if you have a location listed but I'm a proud lazy American.
 
2014-07-03 07:26:40 PM
1. Follow the recipe for Oatmeal Raisin Cookies on the underside of a Quaker Oats can

2. Sub dark chocolate chips for half the raisins.

3. ???

4. Profit


/srsly, I'm forced to bring these to every family event
 
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