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(Boing Boing)   "Growing rates of obesity in pets have led to the emergence of fat farms offering 'pawlates,' 'doga' and 'Barko Polo,' doggie versions of Pilates, yoga and Marco Polo to help slim down man's best friend." Your dog just wants steak   (boingboing.net) divider line 47
    More: Amusing, fat camp, Marco Polo, Xeni Jardin, Pilates, Boing Boing  
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721 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2014 at 12:05 PM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-03 09:10:47 AM
I have got to get quicker at devising ways to profit off of morons.
 
2014-07-03 10:07:17 AM
fark you 3rd world, we have fat farms for our pets.
 
2014-07-03 10:52:00 AM
I think it's almost time for us to put ourselves out of our misery. I have felt this way ever since I saw the stat about how much we spend on "pet supplies" in this country--$56 billion. Per year. FFS.

And then a Petco opened in my town......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
2014-07-03 11:34:37 AM
I know a woman that taught yoga for dogs. She was paid well.

Last week I was at my volunteer gig and spent time listening to another volunteer's plight with her Poodle's health. Dog was on a raw food diet and she had just taken her to a naturopathic vet that told her the dog had too much yang.
Not kidding.

/seattle
 
2014-07-03 11:38:14 AM
Jesus Corn Syrup Christ. Feed your dogs meat and fat, not rice and mashed potatoes. Your dog is not a vegan and he had nothing to do with modern agriculture. Your dog doesn't just want steak; he needs it. And take him on a goddamn walk once in a while. I don't think I've seen a fat dog with a skinny owner.
 
2014-07-03 11:46:27 AM

JoieD'Zen: Last week I was at my volunteer gig and spent time listening to another volunteer's plight with her Poodle's health. Dog was on a raw food diet and she had just taken her to a naturopathic vet that told her the dog had too much yang.
Not kidding.


I've heard that can be corrected with acupoocher.
 
2014-07-03 11:47:57 AM

Diogenes: JoieD'Zen: Last week I was at my volunteer gig and spent time listening to another volunteer's plight with her Poodle's health. Dog was on a raw food diet and she had just taken her to a naturopathic vet that told her the dog had too much yang.
Not kidding.

I've heard that can be corrected with acupoocher.


woof
 
2014-07-03 12:07:55 PM
That will be $1000 for a weekend of tennis ball therapy.
 
2014-07-03 12:08:04 PM
www.lolroflmao.com
 
2014-07-03 12:08:52 PM
Maybe get off your fat-ass and take your dog for a walk. Maybe both your fat-asses can lose some weight, tubby.
 
2014-07-03 12:09:43 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Jesus Corn Syrup Christ. Feed your dogs meat and fat, not rice and mashed potatoes. Your dog is not a vegan and he had nothing to do with modern agriculture. Your dog doesn't just want steak; he needs it. And take him on a goddamn walk once in a while. I don't think I've seen a fat dog with a skinny owner.


Even if you feed them rice and mashed potatoes, just feed them less of it. You control the pet and it's not like they can order a late-night pizza.
 
2014-07-03 12:11:46 PM

Diogenes: JoieD'Zen: Last week I was at my volunteer gig and spent time listening to another volunteer's plight with her Poodle's health. Dog was on a raw food diet and she had just taken her to a naturopathic vet that told her the dog had too much yang.
Not kidding.

I've heard that can be corrected with acupoocher.


Or catupuncture.

kittentoob.com
 
2014-07-03 12:13:14 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Jesus Corn Syrup Christ. Feed your dogs meat and fat, not rice and mashed potatoes. Your dog is not a vegan and he had nothing to do with modern agriculture. Your dog doesn't just want steak; he needs it. And take him on a goddamn walk once in a while. I don't think I've seen a fat dog with a skinny owner.


No way, man! We taught a lion to eat tofu.
 
2014-07-03 12:14:38 PM

Jaden Smith First of His Name: ecmoRandomNumbers: Jesus Corn Syrup Christ. Feed your dogs meat and fat, not rice and mashed potatoes. Your dog is not a vegan and he had nothing to do with modern agriculture. Your dog doesn't just want steak; he needs it. And take him on a goddamn walk once in a while. I don't think I've seen a fat dog with a skinny owner.
Even if you feed them rice and mashed potatoes, just feed them less of it. You control the pet and it's not like they can order a late-night pizza.


My dog eats Pedigree or Alpo or whatever the hell big bags of food I bring home. As much as she wants, because she has an auto feeder. I've never had a fat or unhealthy dog, and I'm on my fourth one. They get exercise.
 
2014-07-03 12:15:22 PM
or you could feed your fat pet less, take your dog for a walk, and play with your cat
 
2014-07-03 12:16:26 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Jesus Corn Syrup Christ. Feed your dogs meat and fat, not rice and mashed potatoes. Your dog is not a vegan and he had nothing to do with modern agriculture. Your dog doesn't just want steak; he needs it. And take him on a goddamn walk once in a while. I don't think I've seen a fat dog with a skinny owner.


Replace dog(s) with kid(s) and owner with parent and the whole statement is still true.
 
2014-07-03 12:18:36 PM
Everyone in this thread sounds fat.
 
2014-07-03 12:19:15 PM
I take my dog on daily walks and get stopped every few weeks by someone that thinks he looks "underfed" compared to his friends/neighbors dog.

JUST BECAUSE MOST BULLDOGS ARE MORBIDLY OBESE DOES NOT MEAN THAT IS HEALTHY FOR THEM.

I say that to them, but without the caps.
 
2014-07-03 12:19:53 PM

Buttknuckle: Everyone in this thread sounds fat.


I will sit on you
 
2014-07-03 12:22:18 PM
Clifford the big red porker dog.
 
2014-07-03 12:22:42 PM
It's programs like this that cultivate negative body image among our four-legged life partners. We should instead encourage them to love their bodies no matter what their shape.
 
2014-07-03 12:24:06 PM

Wellon Dowd: ecmoRandomNumbers: Jesus Corn Syrup Christ. Feed your dogs meat and fat, not rice and mashed potatoes. Your dog is not a vegan and he had nothing to do with modern agriculture. Your dog doesn't just want steak; he needs it. And take him on a goddamn walk once in a while. I don't think I've seen a fat dog with a skinny owner.

No way, man! We taught a lion to eat tofu.


Did you feed it to him by wrapping it in a hippie?
 
2014-07-03 12:25:13 PM
I tried to make my Fluffy cattersize but she tried to rip me a new asshole instead.
 
2014-07-03 12:25:46 PM
I'll bet the place is run by cats.
 
2014-07-03 12:33:59 PM
My 11 pound Chihuahua loves the line of dogwear at Lane Bryant. It all started back when someone once called her a "shaky rat thing." After that, she couldn't get enough Beggin strips and hotdogs. Now, she loves her real biatch curves.
 
2014-07-03 12:34:31 PM

Diogenes: I have got to get quicker at devising ways to profit off of morons.


You ever laughed at clips on youtube of cats on treadmills?  Let's say smaller less expensive versions for cats.
/50/50, deal?
 
2014-07-03 12:37:35 PM
And a walk.

Dogs love steak and walks.
 
2014-07-03 12:39:12 PM
Dogs are easy. Walk them. Five cents, please.

I did have one morbidly obese cat, though. I got her and her mother after their first owners had pretty much starved them. They had this idea that you don't need to actually feed cats, because there are mice in their shiatty little apartment building, and besides, beer and cigs. She was the most food addicted creature of any kind I have ever seen. We carefully measured her pre$cription food every day. And she would steal loaves of bread off of the counter, tip over the garbage to get scraps, bully the (large) dog away from his bowl and eat his food, and hoooooooooooowl at night because there was NO FUD! She was miserable and so were we. We finally gave up and let her be a fat, happy cat. Yes her life was shortened. She went at 13 from heart disease. But she was not having a quality life when we were trying to force her to be a fit kitty.

I don't recommend this for anyone else (especially humans) but it was what it was. I've had many other cats, none of the rest fat like that.
 
2014-07-03 12:41:24 PM

namegoeshere: Dogs are easy. Walk them. Five cents, please.

I did have one morbidly obese cat, though. I got her and her mother after their first owners had pretty much starved them. They had this idea that you don't need to actually feed cats, because there are mice in their shiatty little apartment building, and besides, beer and cigs. She was the most food addicted creature of any kind I have ever seen. We carefully measured her pre$cription food every day. And she would steal loaves of bread off of the counter, tip over the garbage to get scraps, bully the (large) dog away from his bowl and eat his food, and hoooooooooooowl at night because there was NO FUD! She was miserable and so were we. We finally gave up and let her be a fat, happy cat. Yes her life was shortened. She went at 13 from heart disease. But she was not having a quality life when we were trying to force her to be a fit kitty.

I don't recommend this for anyone else (especially humans) but it was what it was. I've had many other cats, none of the rest fat like that.


My cat got fat after she was fixed.

I've stopped calling her a fat cat, or Jabba the Cat.

She is now my Calorically Enhanced Cat
 
2014-07-03 12:46:25 PM

BigLuca: I take my dog on daily walks and get stopped every few weeks by someone that thinks he looks "underfed" compared to his friends/neighbors dog.

JUST BECAUSE MOST BULLDOGS ARE MORBIDLY OBESE DOES NOT MEAN THAT IS HEALTHY FOR THEM.

I say that to them, but without the caps.


Curious about what one may look like. Got a pic?
 
2014-07-03 12:54:07 PM
33.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-03 12:59:21 PM
cryinoutloud:

My dog eats Pedigree or Alpo or whatever the hell big bags of food I bring home. As much as she wants, because she has an auto feeder. I've never had a fat or unhealthy dog, and I'm on my fourth one. They get exercise.

And there we have it folks the crux of the whole issue. Lazy ass people not exercising their pets.  Dogs and Cats survive on garbage, literally, but are still alive and running around? Why because survival=exercise. Being at home all damn day or cooped up makes the pets lazy and fat just like their masters.  Get out there and exercise with your pet and stop being a fat lazy douchecanoe.

/getting a new puppy
//PWC
///vaccum cleaner of all dogs
////not gay
 
2014-07-03 01:03:40 PM
So fitness.  Much exercise.
 
2014-07-03 01:10:37 PM

White_Scarf_Syndrome: BigLuca: I take my dog on daily walks and get stopped every few weeks by someone that thinks he looks "underfed" compared to his friends/neighbors dog.

JUST BECAUSE MOST BULLDOGS ARE MORBIDLY OBESE DOES NOT MEAN THAT IS HEALTHY FOR THEM.

I say that to them, but without the caps.

Curious about what one may look like. Got a pic?


Nothing on my phone that showcases his svelteness.  I'll try to take one when I get home, but fyi he isn't a "real" bulldog, he is a French one.
 
2014-07-03 01:17:15 PM
Lazy Humans = Fat Dog.
 
2014-07-03 01:45:38 PM
How about these owners get off their fat asses and take the dog for a walk or to a nearby park to run around and get some exercise?
And if the owners don't have time to do that then they should own a dog. If you don't have time to take them for a walk you don't have time for the animal, period.
 
2014-07-03 01:48:28 PM

cryinoutloud: Jaden Smith First of His Name: ecmoRandomNumbers: Jesus Corn Syrup Christ. Feed your dogs meat and fat, not rice and mashed potatoes. Your dog is not a vegan and he had nothing to do with modern agriculture. Your dog doesn't just want steak; he needs it. And take him on a goddamn walk once in a while. I don't think I've seen a fat dog with a skinny owner.
Even if you feed them rice and mashed potatoes, just feed them less of it. You control the pet and it's not like they can order a late-night pizza.

My dog eats Pedigree or Alpo or whatever the hell big bags of food I bring home. As much as she wants, because she has an auto feeder. I've never had a fat or unhealthy dog, and I'm on my fourth one. They get exercise.


If you really loved your dog you wouldn't feed them Pedigree.
That stuff is garbage.
http://www.dogfoodinsider.com/pedigree-dog-food-review.html
 
2014-07-03 02:18:45 PM

BigLuca: I take my dog on daily walks and get stopped every few weeks by someone that thinks he looks "underfed" compared to his friends/neighbors dog.

JUST BECAUSE MOST BULLDOGS ARE MORBIDLY OBESE DOES NOT MEAN THAT IS HEALTHY FOR THEM.

I say that to them, but without the caps.


I want to throttle owners of obese pets. People at least know they have unhealthy eating habits and are in charge of what they consume. Pets eat what their owners give them, and it's really not reasonable to expect a dog to say "Oh, no more chicken, thanks, I'm watching my weight."

You see it a lot in labs, which take on a barrel-like shape once they start packing on the pounds. Poor pooches.
 
2014-07-03 02:33:47 PM
My dog eats all the Costco salmon and sweet potato dog food he cares to from one of these:

i.walmartimages.com


He also gets a few fresh eggs from my chickens every week.

He's energetic, you can feel his ribs easily, he has a trim waist, and the vet says he's in perfect health. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.


scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2014-07-03 02:42:43 PM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-03 03:06:01 PM
38.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-03 04:01:20 PM

namegoeshere: Dogs are easy. Walk them. Five cents, please.
I did have one morbidly obese cat, though.


Cats are harder. I don't know what I'd do if the cats were obese. One of them is kind of big, but it's a tom, and he does go outside. Also I think I'm just not used to big cats. The other one is small.

zepher: If you really loved your dog you wouldn't feed them Pedigree.
That stuff is garbage.
http://www.dogfoodinsider.com/pedigree-dog-food-review.html


If I really had money, I wouldn't do a lot of things that I do.
 
2014-07-03 04:10:49 PM

cryinoutloud: Jaden Smith First of His Name: ecmoRandomNumbers: Jesus Corn Syrup Christ. Feed your dogs meat and fat, not rice and mashed potatoes. Your dog is not a vegan and he had nothing to do with modern agriculture. Your dog doesn't just want steak; he needs it. And take him on a goddamn walk once in a while. I don't think I've seen a fat dog with a skinny owner.
Even if you feed them rice and mashed potatoes, just feed them less of it. You control the pet and it's not like they can order a late-night pizza.

My dog eats Pedigree or Alpo or whatever the hell big bags of food I bring home. As much as she wants, because she has an auto feeder. I've never had a fat or unhealthy dog, and I'm on my fourth one. They get exercise.


Depends on the dog, really.

My best friend's dog, given access to an auto-feeder, would auto-feed himself until his stomach ruptured. You can't leave food lying around without him trying to grab it, even when he's just been fed. My friend had a roommate a couple years ago who kept slipping the dog table scraps and he got really fat in short order--had to be put on a diet even with regular exercise. On the other hand, my corgi can be left alone with a giant tub of kibble and will just nibble on it occasionally when he's hungry, never gains weight. And my mother's dog eats nothing but generous portions of table scraps (he'd seriously rather go hungry than eat dog chow) and he's healthy and thin as a rail.
 
2014-07-03 04:21:09 PM
cryinoutloud:
If I really had money, I wouldn't do a lot of things that I do.

I completely understand.

Try and supplement his diet with some real meat when you can.
Both of my dogs love the occasional carrot as a chew snack, too.
It helps to feed them good food since it makes collecting their dog rockets so much easier.  Always solid, never mushy and they don't just pass it straight through.
 
2014-07-03 04:38:06 PM
luxurylaunches.com
The amount of money people are willing to spend on pets boggles the mind. I used to work right around the corner from this place.
http://www.westlakepet.com/
 
2014-07-03 06:05:26 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: ...I don't think I've seen a fat dog with a skinny owner.


i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-07-03 06:12:59 PM

namegoeshere: Dogs are easy. Walk them. Five cents, please.

I did have one morbidly obese cat, though. I got her and her mother after their first owners had pretty much starved them. They had this idea that you don't need to actually feed cats, because there are mice in their shiatty little apartment building, and besides, beer and cigs. She was the most food addicted creature of any kind I have ever seen. We carefully measured her pre$cription food every day. And she would steal loaves of bread off of the counter, tip over the garbage to get scraps, bully the (large) dog away from his bowl and eat his food, and hoooooooooooowl at night because there was NO FUD! She was miserable and so were we. We finally gave up and let her be a fat, happy cat. Yes her life was shortened. She went at 13 from heart disease. But she was not having a quality life when we were trying to force her to be a fit kitty.

I don't recommend this for anyone else (especially humans) but it was what it was. I've had many other cats, none of the rest fat like that.


This is an interesting story to me; we have a 12 pound (down from 14 since she came to us) cat that the vet has told us should really be around 10.

But.
She.
Wants.
Food.
So.
Bad.

Same kind of behavior as you describe. Her previous owner said she was a stray, so she may have some food insecurity.  The vet said she should be on prozac, but that got vetoed by the housemate due to cost. I kind of wonder if it would help.

Despite all three of them occasionally snatching my ice cream or cereal when my back is turned, and me being a terrible  person and sharing my tuna, the other two are fit and trim.
 
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