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(Hawaii Tribune Herald)   Hawaii's alien spaceport opens for business. Apparently "first contact" is less about warp drive, and more about hippie girls in white dresses   (hawaiitribune-herald.com) divider line 69
    More: Followup, Hawaii Star Visitor Sanctuary, landing pad, Kalapana, UFO, Communications Decency Act  
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8122 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2014 at 8:37 AM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-03 07:52:27 AM  

vidaordinaria.com


Those white dresses are going to get stained.

 
2014-07-03 08:00:33 AM  
Of course, the first warp drive was launched from Bozeman, Montana. Not Hawaii

Duh...
 
2014-07-03 08:06:54 AM  

basemetal: [vidaordinaria.com image 500x198]
Those white dresses are going to get stained.


Or treated to a cabaret.  "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal..."
 
2014-07-03 08:19:45 AM  
fr.web.img4.acsta.net
 
2014-07-03 08:39:43 AM  

Women of the Womb do a chant to open communication during the launch of the Hawaii Star Visitor Sanctuary and UFO landing pad


Why don't they just call themselves "Womb-en"?
 
2014-07-03 08:39:45 AM  
Damn I hate hippies. Someone needs to go along with a ghetto blaster (that's right, old skool), and blast out some Slayer. God listens to Slayer, Jesus was an extraterrestrial, everyone hates hippies. Therefore aliens are more likely to come if the hippies flee and there's some good music playing.

Simple.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-07-03 08:40:14 AM  
Well.. the first thing that should be done is to give the aliens some pleasurable experiences.

Nature is apt to solve similar problems in similar ways, even on distance planets.  I'm sure that experienced young women can figure all the parts out.
 
2014-07-03 08:40:42 AM  
That website must have had some interesting coding...
 
2014-07-03 08:40:57 AM  
Hey doll, is this guy boring you? Come and talk to me. I'm from a different planet.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-07-03 08:41:07 AM  

Slaxl: Damn I hate hippies. Someone needs to go along with a ghetto blaster (that's right, old skool), and blast out some Slayer. God listens to Slayer, Jesus was an extraterrestrial, everyone hates hippies. Therefore aliens are more likely to come if the hippies flee and there's some good music playing.

Simple.


Of course.  All aliens look like Lemmy.
 
2014-07-03 08:41:14 AM  
It's a bug hunt.
 
2014-07-03 08:42:26 AM  
 
2014-07-03 08:42:44 AM  
Odd, I don't see a bar anywhere near this space port, where with the aliens get their exoskeleton electrified
 
2014-07-03 08:43:36 AM  
yes, no, no, no, yes, yes
 
2014-07-03 08:44:58 AM  

d23: Well.. the first thing that should be done is to give the aliens some pleasurable experiences.

Nature is apt to solve similar problems in similar ways, even on distance planets.  I'm sure that experienced young women can figure all the parts out.


Perhaps a grail-shaped beacon is in order. It worked for these women in white...

lgm.cl

/first, spankings
//then the oral sex
 
2014-07-03 08:45:52 AM  
Sounds like that James T. Kirk school of performing First Contact.

/That or the William T. Riker school, they are rather similar, at least with regards to hippie girls in white dresses.
 
ecl
2014-07-03 08:47:03 AM  
Bowen: yes, no, no, no, yes, yes
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-03 08:47:43 AM  

basemetal: [vidaordinaria.com image 500x198]
Those white dresses are going to get stained.


Just lay a towel down.  I don't mind.
 
2014-07-03 08:49:11 AM  
hipquotient.com
 
2014-07-03 08:51:11 AM  
TTIUWP from behind with the Sun shining through from the other side.
 
2014-07-03 08:55:04 AM  

Bowen: yes, no, no, no, yes, yes


Just make sure they have bathed recently...
 
2014-07-03 09:02:17 AM  
I heard Earth Girls are Easy.....

morganrlewis.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-03 09:03:00 AM  

Bowen: yes, no, no, no, yes bathed and brought to my bungalow, yes

 
2014-07-03 09:06:32 AM  
What's wrong with hippie girls in white dresses?

www.lifeofanarchitect.com
 
2014-07-03 09:08:43 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-03 09:11:20 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: basemetal: [vidaordinaria.com image 500x198]
Those white dresses are going to get stained.

Just lay a towel down.  I don't mind.


just make sure its a dark towel
 
2014-07-03 09:13:18 AM  
If those women are representing earth during first contact it's no wonder we haven't seen any sentient beings yet.

\\not with those elbows am i rite?
\\\hippies dont bathe and shave do they?
\\\\am i using the slashies right it's my first time be gentle..
 
2014-07-03 09:21:50 AM  

Sybarite: [fr.web.img4.acsta.net image 495x309]


Came for the Mars Attacks! reference.

/Leaving satisfied still bored at work.
 
2014-07-03 09:32:40 AM  
Why the fark do these hippies insist that a technologically advanced race would want their first contact to be with a group that purposely lives their lives in a more primitive  fashion?
 
2014-07-03 09:37:07 AM  
Do they serve fried Spam and pineapple sandwiches at the concession stand?
 
2014-07-03 09:44:17 AM  

Minktastic Mink!: Why the fark do these hippies insist that a technologically advanced race would want their first contact to be with a group that purposely lives their lives in a more primitive  fashion?


They're the only creatures who can willingly provide snu snu properly for first contact.
 
2014-07-03 09:52:09 AM  
Kazume Mahiehie of Women of the Womb

Stopped reading right there when they oppressed women who have had a hysterectomy
 
2014-07-03 10:01:47 AM  
I'm surprised there aren't more comments/jokes here about "Women of the Womb." I can only assume y'all are as stunned into silence as me.

/where the women of the womb at?
//women of the wombat
///*WOMB* dey it is
////really I got nuthin'
//slashie madness
 
2014-07-03 10:03:11 AM  

Silverstaff: Sounds like that James T. Kirk school of performing First Contact.

/That or the William T. Riker school, they are rather similar, at least with regards to hippie girls in white dresses.


i2.photobucket.com
"Seducing the High Priestess?  How 1967 of you!"
 
2014-07-03 10:03:27 AM  

Slives: Of course, the first warp drive was launched from Bozeman, Montana. Not Hawaii

Duh...


Gonna ask again: "How'd they get down?"
Tiffany Case approves
 
2014-07-03 10:06:22 AM  
I prefer hippies - the left wing equivelant of derp - to the right wing variety of derp.
 
2014-07-03 10:07:16 AM  
"Women of the womb"? OK, they're just farking with us right? That shiat has to be a joke.

Also, there's nothing wrong with hippie chicks in dresses. In my experience they're fun and they'll fark your everloving brains out. Nothing like a chick who isn't ashamed of her sexuality for an awesome day full of hours of carnal pleasure. I'll take hippies over religious folks pretty much every time.
 
2014-07-03 10:13:49 AM  

Aliens in Hawaii?



i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-03 10:19:26 AM  
www.lajollalight.com
/ Fark I am disappoint
 
2014-07-03 10:20:59 AM  
oh come on... this is Hawaii... they can't open a Walgreens without some ceremony that involves throwing a couple (former) virgins into a volcano...  geez.   Pele wants this... Pele wants that...
 
2014-07-03 10:23:25 AM  

Malky:


Damn it, I was hoping to forget that clip...
 
2014-07-03 10:28:42 AM  
OMG... If that's the first thing the Aliens see.... were dead

.i614.photobucket.com

 
2014-07-03 10:33:28 AM  
Bet they are hoping the Aliens have tentacles  .... Lots and Lots of Tentacles....
 
2014-07-03 10:38:08 AM  

JackieRabbit: Do they serve fried Spam and pineapple sandwiches at the concession stand?


You might be able to score a Spam Musabi!

/loves me a spam musabi.
 
2014-07-03 10:39:14 AM  
And boy were their arms tired!
 
2014-07-03 10:39:55 AM  

Kanemano: Hey doll, is this guy boring you? Come and talk to me. I'm from a different planet.


Zaphod Beeblebrox, you old smoothie!
 
2014-07-03 10:41:29 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: Bowen: yes, no, no, no, yes bathed and brought to my bungalow, yes


you're too late, I've already put that requisition in
 
2014-07-03 10:46:53 AM  

Wiseass: If those women are representing earth during first contact it's no wonder we haven't seen any sentient beings yet.

\\not with those elbows am i rite?
\\\hippies dont bathe and shave do they?
\\\\am i using the slashies right it's my first time be gentle..


I feel sorry for you friend.  The only KY Fark knows of is, "Duke Sucks."  These sadists won't even spit on the tip before reaming you with a snark log at high speed.
 
2014-07-03 10:50:15 AM  
From the comments:

leilani
a day ago
i hope a space ship land their and pick up ken and take him to mars where he cant not grumble about everything his not a happy man but he will be happy ridding the space ship to mars

Whatthefarkamireading.jpg
 
2014-07-03 10:51:32 AM  

brimed03: I'm surprised there aren't more comments/jokes here about "Women of the Womb." I can only assume y'all are as stunned into silence as me.

/where the women of the womb at?
//women of the wombat
///*WOMB* dey it is
////really I got nuthin'
//slashie madness


I'm from the planet Womb-le.  (I know that's not what he said.)
application.denofgeek.com
 
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