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(Tampa Bay Online)   Thanks to all of you overachieving, overly competitive high school students who purposely took classes to pad your GPA: You and your hot-headed parents are causing more and more schools to get rid of class valedictorians and salutatorians   (tbo.com) divider line 26
    More: Stupid, valedictorians, academic performance, salutatorians, Advanced Placement, Pasco County, school boards, ranking member, GPA  
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4992 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2014 at 11:29 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-07-01 10:52:54 PM  
6 votes:
When you get to college nobody cares whether you were a valedictorian or not, because if you were even close to being one chances are the school you're going to is filled with valedictorians and once you start college nobody cares about what you did in high school. Sure, it's a nice honor, but an hour of ego-stroking should not be what defines your life. The parents should know better.
2014-07-01 11:47:51 PM  
4 votes:
Thank god.  Valedictorians and Salutatorian speeches are pointless drivel.  The kids that are in that position are already disliked by most of their high school peers for throwing the curve or being "geeks".  Those kids don't want to sit there and listen to them give a speech any more than most of them want to give it.  Just let it die.  Give the kids their diplomas and move on.  Everyone is SUPPOSED to graduate.  You shouldn't get huge ceremonies for things you are supposed to do.  "I paid my taxes!  Rent out the dance hall and listen to my speech!"  "Joey brushed his teeth!  Give him a framed plaque!"  "Mary showed up on time to work the entire year!  We're having a gala in her honor!"

I was supposed to be Salutatorian for my HS graduation.  I told the staff and the National Honor Society advisor* to pick someone else, I wasn't going to graduation, more or less giving a speech to 115 other kids I didn't really like for a ceremony that means nothing.  My parents eventually made me attend, to which I sat there, took my fake diploma**, and promptly left.  Didn't stay for pictures or anything.

I was already enrolled in college summer semester and left 2 weeks before HS graduation.  They made me come back for that crap on a Saturday when I would've much rather been partying.

* Not sure why the NHS lady was involved in setting up graduation ceremonies, but she already hated me because I turned down joining NHS both Junior and Senior year.  Another pointless "society" for College Application padding.
** They didn't give out diplomas at graduation (which I guess is standard practice) so that they could "withhold" them if anyone tried to prank the ceremony (or had outstanding library book fines).  You had to pick them up the following week at the school.  I think mine is still there.  20yr reunion is in 3 weeks.  If I was going, I'd probably see if they still had it.

/Parents knew better than to ask if I was going to my college graduation.
//Spent it at a bar getting drunk with my friends
2014-07-01 11:32:01 PM  
4 votes:

Adolf Oliver Nipples: When you get to college nobody cares whether you were a valedictorian or not, because if you were even close to being one chances are the school you're going to is filled with valedictorians and once you start college nobody cares about what you did in high school. Sure, it's a nice honor, but an hour of ego-stroking should not be what defines your life. The parents should know better.


forums.pelicanparts.com

Unless you scored four touchdowns in one game!
2014-07-02 12:48:02 AM  
3 votes:

420Gabriel: baconbeard: When I went to school, the smart kids were the ones who got a 'B' average while taking physics, math, and chemistry without doing any homework, not the ones who did 30 hours extra a week in English Lit and biology to get 'A's'

I was the guy acing the tests and having people cheat off me, even though I did no homework and no studying and was high.

Colleges should base entry more on intelligence than on knowledge. Make an IQ minimum, not a gpa minimum. Our colleges are filled with average to below average intelligence kids who had parents that pushed them really hard.


Yeah except drive beats talent every time. The world is full of underachieving 'smart people' who are worse off than 'dumber people' with drive and determination. See also; professional athletes, etc. How well do you think their sports teams would do if admissions were based on an IQ test? Not saying all athletes aren't smart, some are just in non-traditional ways.
2014-07-01 11:45:15 PM  
3 votes:
When I went to school, the smart kids were the ones who got a 'B' average while taking physics, math, and chemistry without doing any homework, not the ones who did 30 hours extra a week in English Lit and biology to get 'A's'
2014-07-01 08:27:20 PM  
3 votes:
Just have class rankings for the purposes of their college application. No one wants to sit through the farking valedictorian's bullshiat speech at graduation anyway.
2014-07-01 07:59:08 PM  
3 votes:
 angry parents paying a visit to the superintendent when a son or daughter lost out, sometimes by hundredths of a percentage point.

Those parents need a good coont punch.
2014-07-02 03:50:30 AM  
2 votes:
I always get a kick out of the whole valedictorian / salutatorian thing because the guys from my class that got those titles pretty much disappeared very soon after high school. And no, they were not bullied. Growing up with these guys, our teachers always spoke about them as though they were going to become millionaires, invent something amazing, and change the world. Neither one did. I heard the valedictorian couldn't hack college and became a mechanic with his dad. No one has heard from him in years. I was much better friends with the salutatorian, who is doing alright, but no better than anyone else. He turned his back on his family and friends as soon as he left for college. They were good enough guys, but neither one had an original thought, no creativity, no originality. All they ever did was memorize and regurgitate.

So yeah, those "honors" are meaningless. The only people that value them are the sociopathic, ladder climbing wing-nuts themselves and their Chardonnay-guzzling helicopter parents.
2014-07-02 03:00:12 AM  
2 votes:
FTFA: "[A] mother complained to Browning that her son made honor roll, even though he had a D on his report card."

If the point is that the mother told the administrators their system makes it too easy to attain "Honor Roll" status, Exhibit A being her son, then I think this mother is kinda cool.
2014-07-02 12:09:02 AM  
2 votes:
It's because of people like this that we can't have nice things. Schools don't want to deal with the whinny parents because their little precious didn't win. Guess what people, you can't win everything. So now the schools are like "Fark it, no one will win."

The Valedictorian from my graduation class went to UCLA. She had a big write up in our local newspaper about how she was going to become a neuro surgeon . within a year, she had dropped out because it was too hard. Her little piece of paper saying she was valedictorian did nothing for her.
2014-07-01 11:34:36 PM  
2 votes:
The best students aren't there on graduation day because they're already in college.

Srsly, the good colleges shoudl be looking at how your AP grades were. The rest of highschool is just daycare to keep young adults out of the labor market.
2014-07-02 10:07:09 AM  
1 votes:
420Gabriel:


Colleges should base entry more on intelligence than on knowledge.

Good schools already do.  The SAT and ACT are highly correlated with IQ.

Make an IQ minimum, not a gpa minimum.  Our colleges are filled with average to below average intelligence kids who had parents that pushed them really hard.

Terrible idea.  A really smart person that is world class lazy is farking worthless.  For 99% of the professions out there, even the more difficult ones, a highly motivated person of average or modeslty above average intelligence will be more successful than some lazy genius (e.g. engineer, computer scientist, doctor).  Only in the extremely intellectual arenas (e.g. research) would I say natural cognitive ability is as prized as work ethic, but even then, its close.
2014-07-02 07:32:18 AM  
1 votes:

biscuitsngravy: My wife gave one of the most cliché-ridden salutatorian addresses in the history of high school commencement ceremonies. Nuke Laloosh-esque platitudes.   When we moved last year, we were cleaning shiat out, and we come across her *typed* speech.  We were in hysterics.

/Wife's class rank:  2 outta 396
//My class rank:  312 outta 396
///CSB


You must be great in the sack to make up for your other shortcomings.
2014-07-02 01:50:31 AM  
1 votes:
Good.  Let the kids make it to adulthood without permanently burning themselves out, working themselves into life-long cynicism, and ruining relationships in the name of something no one is going to give a damn about come the fall semester.
2014-07-02 01:19:09 AM  
1 votes:
I was in a small town with something like 18 in our graduating class. The valedictorian wasn't based on the highest grades, but on a vote by the students.

When the subject came up, one girl in our class really wanted it. I jokingly suggested, "I'll be valdeictorian!"

She turned to me and coldly said, "Don't you think the valedictorian should be the person with the highest grades?"

I found this funny because I did well in math and sciences and she did better (but not that much better) in the fluffy stuff.

Anyway, it came down to a vote for three of us (two girls and me) and I won. She was a bit upset.

Funny thing is that when the final grades finally came out, I was first and she was fourth.

I made my speech short - three minutes - I included a few trite things and some nice words to my classmates and teachers. I still had memories of my sister's graduation when a gentleman addressed the students (he wasn't the valedictorian, but a former principal) and gave a 45-minute speech. It was boring and horrible.

Bottom line, valedictorian means NOTHING. I didn't even tell my family when I was voted to be that person. I think my sister came home a week later and she was very proud. I just shrugged my shoulders.
2014-07-02 01:07:22 AM  
1 votes:

seadoo2006: davidt: The smartest kids are rarely the valedictorians. The valedictorians at my school:

One year: cheated his way to the top and students at graduation stood and turned their backs when he spoke at graduation.
One year: took only 1 semester of PE freshmen year, saved the other semester for 2nd semester senior year since 2nd semester senior year doesn't count for class rankings.
One year: Got the band director to offer "honors" band and gave the student a 5.0 in band period.

See the trend here? Not only that, but athletes can never be ranked number one because their sport period isn't weighted. And there have been some flipping smart athletes at this school.

Grades tell me very little about you except that you are good at making a high school teacher happy. Or your lawyer parent scared a teacher into giving you an A- when you deserved a B+.

What the f*ck is a sport period? Is this a public school thing? Serious, private school kid here and we we required to take 8 classes every semester from 7:55am to 2:40pm, all four years with no 'free' periods.


Closest thing I can think of was weight training in my school. You didn't have to be an athlete to take it (just finished normal PE credits), but everyone was an athlete. Not gonna lie, I didn't mind the A I got, but I didn't even care about that. I *needed* to get jacked for sports and girls. Besides the grading was done on an improvement scale, not total weight or anything. You could try and sandbag your max weight, but the teacher(s) were coaches and spent a ton of time in the weightroom in the offseason. Between them seeing you lift and asking your coach, they could be huge assholes if you tried that.

That said, I'd have taken the class even if it was just a credit with no grade. I was floating between top 10% and top 20%. I knew I wasn't going to get a merit scholarship or hit valedictorian, so I just focused on getting decent grades and acing the AP tests. It worked out for me. I hit college as a sophomore, which let me ride a bit on how many credit hours I needed to take and got me out of almost all Friday classes.

/work smarter not harder kids
2014-07-02 12:52:17 AM  
1 votes:
GrumpyCatGood.jpg
2014-07-02 12:51:41 AM  
1 votes:
The smartest kids are rarely the valedictorians. The valedictorians at my school:

One year: cheated his way to the top and students at graduation stood and turned their backs when he spoke at graduation.
One year: took only 1 semester of PE freshmen year, saved the other semester for 2nd semester senior year since 2nd semester senior year doesn't count for class rankings.
One year: Got the band director to offer "honors" band and gave the student a 5.0 in band period.

See the trend here? Not only that, but athletes can never be ranked number one because their sport period isn't weighted. And there have been some flipping smart athletes at this school.

Grades tell me very little about you except that you are good at making a high school teacher happy. Or your lawyer parent scared a teacher into giving you an A- when you deserved a B+.
2014-07-02 12:50:58 AM  
1 votes:

420Gabriel: baconbeard: When I went to school, the smart kids were the ones who got a 'B' average while taking physics, math, and chemistry without doing any homework, not the ones who did 30 hours extra a week in English Lit and biology to get 'A's'

I was the guy acing the tests and having people cheat off me, even though I did no homework and no studying and was high.

Colleges should base entry more on intelligence than on knowledge. Make an IQ minimum, not a gpa minimum. Our colleges are filled with average to below average intelligence kids who had parents that pushed them really hard.


Same ... I used to post up my homework each night on my website for everyone else to use.  I just wanted the world to burn.  High school academia was an absolute joke. If you had even an ounce of intelligence, you just studied to pass the AP exams, did enough homework to pass, and learn how to game what teachers wanted you to turn in.  I spent most my time sleeping in class, smoking pot behind the gym, and learning how to game the SAT/ACT.

Graduated 8/196, only because I decided against taking AP English Lit senior year in favor of sleeping through normal Senior Lit.  On the plus side, taking almost exclusively AP courses junior and senior year allowed me to enter college one quarter shy of junior hours.
2014-07-02 12:45:34 AM  
1 votes:
I can't decide how to phrase my humblebrag so let me just say that I got on the stage, punched the stupid Dean right in his stupid face before showering the first two rows (kids last names "A" through "C") with urine which I had built up drinking my 40oz out of a paper bag during the ceremony. And that was BEFORE my validictorian speech, in which all I did was talk about punching the Dean in the face and then apologizing to Marcia Dalenti who accidentally got splashed with pee even though I really tried limiting it to the first two rows only but that initial burst was hard to suppress. Plus I had a crush on her.
2014-07-02 12:41:15 AM  
1 votes:

Bullseyed: If you didn't take STEM ap classes, you shouldn't be eligible for any class ranking.


We f***ing get it already. STEM is great. STEM is the only thing anyone ever needs.

You know what else we need? People that can understand how STEM has evolved (history). How STEM has affected people on the macro (sociology) and micro (psychology) levels. How STEM applies to governments (political science). And on and f***ing on.

STEM is great if the only thing you want are factory drones.
2014-07-02 12:35:01 AM  
1 votes:
If you didn't take STEM ap classes, you shouldn't be eligible for any class ranking.
2014-07-02 12:26:33 AM  
1 votes:

Boo_Guy: hasty ambush: They also need to get rid of Cheerleading. The conflicts that happen when somebodies daughter is not of the first squad are akin to open warfare. Now days every girl who goes out for cheerleading makes the team (to avoid lawsuits) but they have different squads.

This is just crazy talk,  how else would we be able to stare at firm young teens naughty areas and have everyone be ok with it if we didn't have cheerleading?


Olympic gymnastics.
2014-07-02 12:00:23 AM  
1 votes:

Mugato: angry parents paying a visit to the superintendent when a son or daughter lost out, sometimes by hundredths of a percentage point.

Those parents need a good coont punch.


Worked for a school district for an office that oversaw Governor's School admissions. You wouldn't (maybe) believe the number of times I heard "Well, so-and-so made it in, and I know for a fact that my [child] is smarter than him!"

I always wanted to point out, "Maybe, but he was incapable of demonstrating so during the application process, so fark you."
2014-07-01 11:41:33 PM  
1 votes:
I mean, in school I learned the most in classes I struggled with.  If I aced it, it was too easy for me.
2014-07-01 11:40:48 PM  
1 votes:
The idea is kind of silly, it's like giving a "Who Gained The Most Knowledge" prize.  And then using a gameable system that encourages smart kids to take easy classes to inflate their averages.
 
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