If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Tampa Bay Online)   Thanks to all of you overachieving, overly competitive high school students who purposely took classes to pad your GPA: You and your hot-headed parents are causing more and more schools to get rid of class valedictorians and salutatorians   (tbo.com) divider line 125
    More: Stupid, valedictorians, academic performance, salutatorians, Advanced Placement, Pasco County, school boards, ranking member, GPA  
•       •       •

4928 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2014 at 11:29 PM (10 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



125 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-07-01 07:59:08 PM
 angry parents paying a visit to the superintendent when a son or daughter lost out, sometimes by hundredths of a percentage point.

Those parents need a good coont punch.
 
2014-07-01 08:24:29 PM

Mugato:  angry parents paying a visit to the superintendent when a son or daughter lost out, sometimes by hundredths of a percentage point.

Those parents need a good coont punch.


No virtual ties? Co-valedictorians?

Or just have it resolved by PKs or the Octagon.
 
2014-07-01 08:27:20 PM
Just have class rankings for the purposes of their college application. No one wants to sit through the farking valedictorian's bullshiat speech at graduation anyway.
 
2014-07-01 10:52:54 PM
When you get to college nobody cares whether you were a valedictorian or not, because if you were even close to being one chances are the school you're going to is filled with valedictorians and once you start college nobody cares about what you did in high school. Sure, it's a nice honor, but an hour of ego-stroking should not be what defines your life. The parents should know better.
 
2014-07-01 11:31:56 PM
I got a Participation Ribbon when I graduated high school.
 
2014-07-01 11:32:01 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: When you get to college nobody cares whether you were a valedictorian or not, because if you were even close to being one chances are the school you're going to is filled with valedictorians and once you start college nobody cares about what you did in high school. Sure, it's a nice honor, but an hour of ego-stroking should not be what defines your life. The parents should know better.


forums.pelicanparts.com

Unless you scored four touchdowns in one game!
 
2014-07-01 11:33:41 PM
Two students enter!!!

One student leaves!!!!!
 
2014-07-01 11:34:36 PM
The best students aren't there on graduation day because they're already in college.

Srsly, the good colleges shoudl be looking at how your AP grades were. The rest of highschool is just daycare to keep young adults out of the labor market.
 
2014-07-01 11:40:05 PM
I'm surprised the school board in that county wouldn't want students as buttered up as possible.
 
2014-07-01 11:40:48 PM
The idea is kind of silly, it's like giving a "Who Gained The Most Knowledge" prize.  And then using a gameable system that encourages smart kids to take easy classes to inflate their averages.
 
2014-07-01 11:41:33 PM
I mean, in school I learned the most in classes I struggled with.  If I aced it, it was too easy for me.
 
2014-07-01 11:43:48 PM
I went to  three high schools..all graded differently.

I don't get the 4.25 for an AP course vs. a regular course.  I took some AP courses that were easier than regular 4.0 courses.

I think it should be a 0-100 scale for grades.  With each course given a credit amount.  For example. Gym: one gredit.  Calculus four credits.   Spanish 1: 3 credits...etc.  then the weight is given against a 0-100 score.  So if you do poorly in a high credit class, that hurts your GPA even more.  Not now where you get a 3.9 out of 5.0 in some schools and it's the same 3.9 as if you took Spanish 2...etc.
 
2014-07-01 11:43:56 PM
what was that, "If you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough?"
 
2014-07-01 11:44:00 PM
By "get rid of", we trust you mean "get rid of deep in a swamp".
 
2014-07-01 11:45:15 PM
When I went to school, the smart kids were the ones who got a 'B' average while taking physics, math, and chemistry without doing any homework, not the ones who did 30 hours extra a week in English Lit and biology to get 'A's'
 
2014-07-01 11:47:32 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: . The parents should know better.


That might be the funniest thing I have read on Fark in some time. Living vicariously through the lives of one's children is one of the biggest reason people become parents.

/it's not a sacrifice if the children are not successful.
 
2014-07-01 11:47:51 PM
Thank god.  Valedictorians and Salutatorian speeches are pointless drivel.  The kids that are in that position are already disliked by most of their high school peers for throwing the curve or being "geeks".  Those kids don't want to sit there and listen to them give a speech any more than most of them want to give it.  Just let it die.  Give the kids their diplomas and move on.  Everyone is SUPPOSED to graduate.  You shouldn't get huge ceremonies for things you are supposed to do.  "I paid my taxes!  Rent out the dance hall and listen to my speech!"  "Joey brushed his teeth!  Give him a framed plaque!"  "Mary showed up on time to work the entire year!  We're having a gala in her honor!"

I was supposed to be Salutatorian for my HS graduation.  I told the staff and the National Honor Society advisor* to pick someone else, I wasn't going to graduation, more or less giving a speech to 115 other kids I didn't really like for a ceremony that means nothing.  My parents eventually made me attend, to which I sat there, took my fake diploma**, and promptly left.  Didn't stay for pictures or anything.

I was already enrolled in college summer semester and left 2 weeks before HS graduation.  They made me come back for that crap on a Saturday when I would've much rather been partying.

* Not sure why the NHS lady was involved in setting up graduation ceremonies, but she already hated me because I turned down joining NHS both Junior and Senior year.  Another pointless "society" for College Application padding.
** They didn't give out diplomas at graduation (which I guess is standard practice) so that they could "withhold" them if anyone tried to prank the ceremony (or had outstanding library book fines).  You had to pick them up the following week at the school.  I think mine is still there.  20yr reunion is in 3 weeks.  If I was going, I'd probably see if they still had it.

/Parents knew better than to ask if I was going to my college graduation.
//Spent it at a bar getting drunk with my friends
 
2014-07-01 11:54:31 PM
no1curr?
 
2014-07-01 11:59:44 PM

meat0918: Two students enter!!!

One student leaves!!!!!


4.bp.blogspot.com
coming soon to a town near you!
 
2014-07-02 12:00:23 AM

Mugato: angry parents paying a visit to the superintendent when a son or daughter lost out, sometimes by hundredths of a percentage point.

Those parents need a good coont punch.


Worked for a school district for an office that oversaw Governor's School admissions. You wouldn't (maybe) believe the number of times I heard "Well, so-and-so made it in, and I know for a fact that my [child] is smarter than him!"

I always wanted to point out, "Maybe, but he was incapable of demonstrating so during the application process, so fark you."
 
2014-07-02 12:01:56 AM
My wife gave one of the most cliché-ridden salutatorian addresses in the history of high school commencement ceremonies. Nuke Laloosh-esque platitudes.   When we moved last year, we were cleaning shiat out, and we come across her *typed* speech.  We were in hysterics.

/Wife's class rank:  2 outta 396
//My class rank:  312 outta 396
///CSB
 
2014-07-02 12:03:15 AM
I was whatever the thing that gave the Pledge of Allegiance was. I can't remember the speech given by the valedictorian nor the Pledge at this moment in my life, but I do remember that the sassy black girl I was sitting next to repeatedly slapped my ass before and during the ceremony. In retrospect she probably would've given a memorable speech.
 
2014-07-02 12:06:00 AM
Working so damn hard isn't showing off if you're poor as hell. It's your only way to pay for college.

I guess these days it's the only way to pay for college if you don't want to be drowning in debt when you finish.
 
2014-07-02 12:07:43 AM
They dont want stupid kids to feel bad.
 
2014-07-02 12:07:56 AM
They also need to get rid of Cheerleading. The conflicts that happen when somebodies daughter is not of the first squad are akin to open warfare. Now days every girl who goes out for cheerleading makes the team (to avoid lawsuits) but they have different squads.
 
2014-07-02 12:08:40 AM

Jaden Smith First of His Name: I was whatever the thing that gave the Pledge of Allegiance was. I can't remember the speech given by the valedictorian nor the Pledge at this moment in my life, but I do remember that the sassy black girl I was sitting next to repeatedly slapped my ass before and during the ceremony. In retrospect she probably would've given a memorable speech.


bbsimg.ngfiles.com
 
2014-07-02 12:09:02 AM
It's because of people like this that we can't have nice things. Schools don't want to deal with the whinny parents because their little precious didn't win. Guess what people, you can't win everything. So now the schools are like "Fark it, no one will win."

The Valedictorian from my graduation class went to UCLA. She had a big write up in our local newspaper about how she was going to become a neuro surgeon . within a year, she had dropped out because it was too hard. Her little piece of paper saying she was valedictorian did nothing for her.
 
2014-07-02 12:12:15 AM
So 3 shop classes a bit much?
 
2014-07-02 12:14:39 AM

baconbeard: When I went to school, the smart kids were the ones who got a 'B' average while taking physics, math, and chemistry without doing any homework, not the ones who did 30 hours extra a week in English Lit and biology to get 'A's'


I was the guy acing the tests and having people cheat off me, even though I did no homework and no studying and was high.

Colleges should base entry more on intelligence than on knowledge. Make an IQ minimum, not a gpa minimum. Our colleges are filled with average to below average intelligence kids who had parents that pushed them really hard.
 
2014-07-02 12:14:58 AM

machoprogrammer: Unless you scored four touchdowns in one game!


Gawd! Ugh! Tonight I saw a trailer for a movie that was the most vomitous masturbatory trainwreck that ever oozed from Al Bundy's farts. Gross. All I could think of was, each one of the characters was either growing up to be Peg or Al. A whole movie of Al Bundies, but without a single joke. I mean they took high school football so seriously. They had so many serious feelings!!! They literally made it seem like the lives of everyone in the town depended on high school football. A guy had a farking heart attack over it. A father beat his son over it. When they started losing games, a dude got shot. And the movie actually made that seem heroic.

I am so going to see that movie. It looks AMAZING. It's like Gilmore Girls for men, including 18-year-old ripped Norse-god-bodied popular white boys CRYING. Over an after school game. Jesus Christ it is a work of art.

Valedictorians are just as bad as quarterbacks. The evil twin of Al Bundy is Rory Gilmore.
 
2014-07-02 12:17:01 AM
No more brown noser of the class award?

imokwiththis.jpg

www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-07-02 12:17:45 AM
well never mind what I actually wanted to say, no wonder fark is slowly failing.

May be my last post
 
2014-07-02 12:19:00 AM
Oh no, now Muffy McVanderbilt won't get into medical school!
 
2014-07-02 12:21:44 AM

biscuitsngravy: My wife gave one of the most cliché-ridden salutatorian addresses in the history of high school commencement ceremonies. Nuke Laloosh-esque platitudes.   When we moved last year, we were cleaning shiat out, and we come across her *typed* speech.  We were in hysterics.


But at the time she thought was the first one to ever have such deep thoughts?

I just attended the graduation of the offspring of a friend, and the speeches ranged from the most god-awful platitudes, to "I, me, mine" narcissistic rambling.
 
2014-07-02 12:22:22 AM

hasty ambush: They also need to get rid of Cheerleading. The conflicts that happen when somebodies daughter is not of the first squad are akin to open warfare. Now days every girl who goes out for cheerleading makes the team (to avoid lawsuits) but they have different squads.


This is just crazy talk,  how else would we be able to stare at firm young teens naughty areas and have everyone be ok with it if we didn't have cheerleading.

Crazy talk
 
2014-07-02 12:25:03 AM
My high school graduation was...boring. I sat there and played Snake II on my phone the whole time. Most memorable thing: A photographer for the local paper got a shot of me hugging my diploma cover. My *empty* diploma cover, because they gave out the diplomas after the ceremony.

Ranked 30 out of 400+, with a 3.45 GPA after taking nothing but honors and AP classes. Imagine what I could have done had I given a shiat.
 
2014-07-02 12:26:33 AM

Boo_Guy: hasty ambush: They also need to get rid of Cheerleading. The conflicts that happen when somebodies daughter is not of the first squad are akin to open warfare. Now days every girl who goes out for cheerleading makes the team (to avoid lawsuits) but they have different squads.

This is just crazy talk,  how else would we be able to stare at firm young teens naughty areas and have everyone be ok with it if we didn't have cheerleading?


Olympic gymnastics.
 
2014-07-02 12:27:17 AM

abmoraz: Everyone is SUPPOSED to graduate.


I didn't get that either. In high school we were told that graduation meant you had accomplished something. Then we were told to pre-purchase our graduation caps and gowns at the beginning of the senior year. So, if you flunk out do you get your money back? Fark you, you were supposed to graduate, dummy. Yeah, some accomplishment. Yay for me, I didn't trip and fall on my way up to the stage -- add a gold star to my diploma.
 
2014-07-02 12:27:38 AM

Boo_Guy: hasty ambush: They also need to get rid of Cheerleading. The conflicts that happen when somebodies daughter is not of the first squad are akin to open warfare. Now days every girl who goes out for cheerleading makes the team (to avoid lawsuits) but they have different squads.

This is just crazy talk,  how else would we be able to stare at firm young teens naughty areas and have everyone be ok with it if we didn't have cheerleading.

Crazy talk


You do realize the fat chicks also get to be cheerleaders now don't you.
 
2014-07-02 12:30:59 AM

Active introvert: It's because of people like this that we can't have nice things. Schools don't want to deal with the whinny parents because their little precious didn't win. Guess what people, you can't win everything. So now the schools are like "Fark it, no one will win."

The Valedictorian from my graduation class went to UCLA. She had a big write up in our local newspaper about how she was going to become a neuro surgeon . within a year, she had dropped out because it was too hard. Her little piece of paper saying she was valedictorian did nothing for her.


Sounds like she burned out from trying to live up to expectations.  I hope she took some time off and then went back for something she could do,  that she actually wanted to do.

This is why in sports they're usually afraid to throw the new super kid right into the big leagues,  because sometimes it ruins them and they're never really any good again,  the potential gets crushed.
 
2014-07-02 12:33:35 AM

ArcadianRefugee: Boo_Guy: hasty ambush: They also need to get rid of Cheerleading. The conflicts that happen when somebodies daughter is not of the first squad are akin to open warfare. Now days every girl who goes out for cheerleading makes the team (to avoid lawsuits) but they have different squads.

This is just crazy talk,  how else would we be able to stare at firm young teens naughty areas and have everyone be ok with it if we didn't have cheerleading?

Olympic gymnastics.


You want us to wait 4 years for that all the time?  No there needs to be something in between.

/the ratings for female gymnastics are always very good,  gee I wonder why.  Same with skating.
 
2014-07-02 12:35:01 AM
If you didn't take STEM ap classes, you shouldn't be eligible for any class ranking.
 
2014-07-02 12:36:43 AM

hasty ambush: Boo_Guy: hasty ambush: They also need to get rid of Cheerleading. The conflicts that happen when somebodies daughter is not of the first squad are akin to open warfare. Now days every girl who goes out for cheerleading makes the team (to avoid lawsuits) but they have different squads.

This is just crazy talk,  how else would we be able to stare at firm young teens naughty areas and have everyone be ok with it if we didn't have cheerleading.

Crazy talk

You do realize the fat chicks also get to be cheerleaders now don't you.


The C squad doesn't get much time though, besides they need one girl with muscles to hold the pyramid up.
 
2014-07-02 12:37:43 AM
Nipple size.
 
2014-07-02 12:40:02 AM
It's the class slutatorians that they really need to do something about.
 
2014-07-02 12:40:49 AM
Huh, my high school already did this when I graduated.  The top 5% got an extra little ribbon or something to wear pinned to their robe, but no one was called out as the top.  I don't remember anything about class ranking either.

Of course, the ceremony was already too farking long with 600 kids walking across the stage one at a time and various officials giving boring speeches, so maybe the organizers decided that cutting out one more speech was enough of a reason on it's own.

I'm also always annoyed by the GPAs above 4.  I know it's a bonus for AP or duel-enrollment classes, but my high school didn't let that push the grade for a class above a 4, and (shockingly) a whole bunch of students still took the classes because cheap college credit makes sense and it still looks good to colleges.
 
2014-07-02 12:41:15 AM

Bullseyed: If you didn't take STEM ap classes, you shouldn't be eligible for any class ranking.


We f***ing get it already. STEM is great. STEM is the only thing anyone ever needs.

You know what else we need? People that can understand how STEM has evolved (history). How STEM has affected people on the macro (sociology) and micro (psychology) levels. How STEM applies to governments (political science). And on and f***ing on.

STEM is great if the only thing you want are factory drones.
 
2014-07-02 12:41:40 AM

albatros183: well never mind what I actually wanted to say, no wonder fark is slowly failing.

May be my last post


www.theoutdoorstrader.com
 
2014-07-02 12:42:45 AM

Active introvert: It's because of people like this that we can't have nice things. Schools don't want to deal with the whinny parents because their little precious didn't win. Guess what people, you can't win everything. So now the schools are like "Fark it, no one will win."


For my graduating class, the valedictorian mainly took core classes.  The runner up took nothing but challenge and A.P. classes.  There were some grumblings by the other kids in the A.P. classes about how unfair it was.

I believe that valedictorian ended up as a vet.  She probably has to clean up piss and vomit on a daily basis.  The runner up ended up in finance.  I imagine that he probably makes seven figures.

Winning the title isn't everything.
 
2014-07-02 12:43:29 AM

Active introvert: It's because of people like this that we can't have nice things. Schools don't want to deal with the whinny parents because their little precious didn't win. Guess what people, you can't win everything. So now the schools are like "Fark it, no one will win."

The Valedictorian from my graduation class went to UCLA. She had a big write up in our local newspaper about how she was going to become a neuro surgeon . within a year, she had dropped out because it was too hard. Her little piece of paper saying she was valedictorian did nothing for her.


That probably happens to a lot of the kids who attempt to game the system rather than learn the material in the hard classes.

My school had a better system.  All classes were on a 4.0 scale, but we got extra points for taking honors or AP courses, and there were only so many of those available, so taking music or some other elective didn't have a particularly high opportunity cost.  Essentially, the best students all took the same courses, the second tier took classes together, and so on.

To eliminate cutthroat competition for the top spot and avoid lawsuits, the school would designate anyone with a 4.0 and enough honors/AP bonus points as #1.  Since you have to take nearly all of the hardest classes to achieve that score, most students get a B or two, so there are only four or five winners every year out of five or six hundred graduates.

There is no "valedictorian" as such; the student who gives the talk at graduation is rarely first in the class.

I have to stop and think to remember most of this, though, since it all ceased to matter approximately a day after graduation.  Realistically, it stopped mattering as soon as college acceptance letters came in.
 
Displayed 50 of 125 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report