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(Keloland)   This just in: clearing clogged grass from a running lawnmower is a bad idea   (keloland.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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6016 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2014 at 8:13 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-07-01 08:32:57 PM  
6 votes:
I lost my ex-wife and two of her cats this way.

/took nearly all day
2014-07-01 05:22:07 PM  
6 votes:
I lost a penis that way once...don't ask.
2014-07-01 09:10:25 PM  
3 votes:

ArkAngel: Friend of mine did that. Lost two and a half fingers. He managed to get to of them put back on.


Said his wife "Oh no! The whole finger?"
To which he replied, "No, thank goodness, the one next to it."
2014-07-01 08:44:26 PM  
3 votes:

sporkme: Paint the underside of the deck with the used motor oil at each oil change.

No clogs.

Keep the blade sharp, that makes the biggest difference.


What is this 'Oil Change' of which you speak? I thought you let it run dry and then filled as needed?
2014-07-01 08:26:37 PM  
3 votes:
i1.ytimg.com
Clogged grass is a bad idea, but what about hedges?
2014-07-02 11:12:50 AM  
2 votes:
i met a guy who lost part of his foot using a lawn mower on a kind of steep slope.  he was pulling it up towards himself and his foot slipped in the wet grass and went under the mower.  he lost all of his toes except for the big toe.  it was cut at an angle from just inside the big toe back towards the heel.  it looked crazy, one big pointed goofy looking thing.  I told him he should do the other one that way, then he could climb a chain link fence like nobody's business.

csb
2014-07-01 09:04:50 PM  
2 votes:
www.colinfahey.com
2014-07-01 08:18:24 PM  
2 votes:
unaffiliatedcritic.com
Now you tell him.
2014-07-01 08:15:28 PM  
2 votes:
Also: don't push too hard on branches when feeding a wood-chipper.

I lost my head and half of my spine that way.
2014-07-01 07:29:18 PM  
2 votes:

ajgeek: but the fact that safety features don't exist on some of these machines (I'm talking real safety features, not "let's put a symbolic strip of piss poor steel here")


Well when you let go of the mower, the blades stop. If you need more of a safety feature than that, it's between you, Darwin and God.
2014-07-02 11:29:22 AM  
1 vote:

NewWorldDan: My grandpa lost 3 fingers to a lawn mower.  July 24, 1978.  I know the date because that's also the night my sister was born.  He ran in to my parents at the hospital and that's how we learned about it.


"Three Traumatic Amputations and an Episiotomy"...sounds like something Hugh Grant would star in...
2014-07-02 09:27:42 AM  
1 vote:
Jesus cuts my grass, with help from some of his friends.
2014-07-01 11:01:24 PM  
1 vote:

Gaseous Anomaly: A safety email at work actually taught me something once, and it was about this.

If the blades get jammed up with a stick, use another stick to remove the stuck stick, even though the mower isn't running - there could be some tension built up that lets the blade leap forward when the stuck stick is removed.


So...Unstick a stuck stick by sticking it with nonstuck sticks?
2014-07-01 09:42:18 PM  
1 vote:

farkingismybusiness


[pic of fat redneck holding a push mower on a stick]

Clogged grass is a bad idea, but what about hedges?


So he's wrapped plastic (or duct tape?) around the fins of an air-cooled engine. Interesting.


That's not the biggest fail in the picture, just the one I felt compelled to mention.
2014-07-01 09:31:52 PM  
1 vote:

Al!: Mugato: ajgeek: but the fact that safety features don't exist on some of these machines (I'm talking real safety features, not "let's put a symbolic strip of piss poor steel here")

Well when you let go of the mower, the blades stop. If you need more of a safety feature than that, it's between you, Darwin and God.

To piggyback on what ManateeGag said:

I was about 11 (1990ish) and had been told to never, ever reach underneath the mower unless it had been properly "disarmed," lest I be disarmed myself.  I was mowing the neighbors yard and his yard grew unevenly.  The front and sides got lots of sun, the back lots of shade, thus leaving the front and sides growing slowly and the back a jungle if it ever went a week or more during the summer.  I was mowing the back and the blades bogged down enough that the mower stopped.  My normal method of clearing it was to rock the mower back and drop it hard to shake the grass out.  When that didn't work, I let go of the deadman switch, tilted the mower back to allow easier access, and right as I reached down to free the giant clump of grass the mower kicked to life for one entire stroke.  Had I been 2 seconds faster reaching in there I would be typing this with only my right hand.  Instead I learned a valuable lesson: don't ever trust a safety feature when you know a safer method.


Not to be too pedantic, but wouldn't a deadman's switch start the mower when released?
2014-07-01 09:31:25 PM  
1 vote:
I'm in the process of building a worse lawnmower. (double reel electric robot that comes out at night)
2014-07-01 09:31:23 PM  
1 vote:
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
2014-07-01 09:30:32 PM  
1 vote:

Sin_City_Superhero: I lost a penis that way once...don't ask.


Check the medicine cabinet.  Sometimes that's where I leave mine.
2014-07-01 09:18:47 PM  
1 vote:
i would coat the bottom with wd40 and then moved on to pam spray
the girlfriend hated the fact we used an off brand for cooking for cooking
 and the mower was eating better than us
2014-07-01 09:15:48 PM  
1 vote:
with 5 kids you learn fast
after the first 4 got hurt trying to clear the clogs the little fast one did the trick,
and i have been using him sense.
family motto is  "wait i think i can do it better".
2014-07-01 09:07:52 PM  
1 vote:

Lionel Mandrake: Also: don't push too hard on branches when feeding a wood-chipper.

I lost my head and half of my spine that way.


www.constantineintokyo.com
2014-07-01 09:01:09 PM  
1 vote:
I always kill it by releasing the dead man's handle, the old style that didn't have this if the throttle didn't kill it there was the old trusty pull the plug wire and if the rubber boot was missing make sure you had a stick handy. My newest one, a poulan with the power drive (makes pushing up a hill so much easier) was the first time I had seen one with the port for a garden house. Turn on the water and run the mower.

/somebody stole it though so I have to borrow an older model that you have to pull the plug on
2014-07-01 08:51:56 PM  
1 vote:

brap: Sin_City_Superhero: I lost a penis that way once...don't ask.

I hear you.  My penis also had to be surgically removed because my urethra was terminally clogged with grass.

It's the price we pay as sod fetishists.


Grass in your... No wonder your banned from greenhouses and gardening stores.
2014-07-01 08:29:36 PM  
1 vote:

Sin_City_Superhero: I lost a penis that way once...don't ask.


www.triskaidekafiles.com

been done
2014-07-01 08:23:33 PM  
1 vote:
That's why you make your kid reach under there and pull out the clog. They have smaller hands.
2014-07-01 07:29:21 PM  
1 vote:

Sin_City_Superhero: I lost a penis that way once...don't ask.


Well I hope you found it again.
2014-07-01 07:21:03 PM  
1 vote:

Sin_City_Superhero: I lost a penis that way once...don't ask.


I hear you.  My penis also had to be surgically removed because my urethra was terminally clogged with grass.

It's the price we pay as sod fetishists.
 
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