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(Slate)   Atlanta is motherfarkin' sick and tired of all these motherfarkin' snakes in its motherfarkin' city. So...I know...why don't they release more snakes?   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, Wildlife Department  
•       •       •

4508 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2014 at 10:51 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-01 09:29:24 AM  
I've noticed this new trend on facebook of every snake being a copperhead.  Some mom will post a snake picture and then everyone agrees it's either a copperhead or a water moccasin.  According to your mom, water moccasins live in Minnesota now.
 
2014-07-01 09:53:52 AM  
I'm concerned that the Georgia winter simply won't get cold enough for the gorillas to freeze to death.
 
2014-07-01 10:02:36 AM  
More snakes may seem like an even worse idea, but don't worry: they've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat. Now, you may be concerned that you're stuck with gorillas... No, that's the beautiful part. When winter rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
 
2014-07-01 10:03:16 AM  

Sybarite: I'm concerned that the Georgia winter simply won't get cold enough for the gorillas to freeze to death.


*shakes tiny fist*
 
2014-07-01 10:56:41 AM  
I kept black rats snakes all over the place in Pennsylvania,
Because copperheads and rats.

they are wonderful and useful pets.
 
2014-07-01 10:56:56 AM  
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
bad snakes

v

img4.wikia.nocookie.net

good snakes
 
2014-07-01 10:59:47 AM  
They don't need more snakes...

They need more 'hood cats...

image.blingee.com
 
2014-07-01 11:00:11 AM  
Buy some mongeese.

/mongooses?
 
2014-07-01 11:00:44 AM  
Came for the gorillas, leaving satisfied
 
2014-07-01 11:00:57 AM  

Sybarite: I'm concerned that the Georgia winter simply won't get cold enough for the gorillas to freeze to death.


cdn.screenrant.com
knows about the harsh Georgia winters.
 
2014-07-01 11:01:40 AM  

Paris1127: Sybarite: I'm concerned that the Georgia winter simply won't get cold enough for the gorillas to freeze to death.

*shakes tiny fist*


I got a guy to get your gorilla out of you tree for next to nothing.  He's got a baseball bat, a shotgun, and a pitbull.  He'll climb on up that there tree, knock that gorilla down with the bat, and the dog will clamp down on his nuts.
 
2014-07-01 11:01:49 AM  

Rapmaster2000: I've noticed this new trend on facebook of every snake being a copperhead.  Some mom will post a snake picture and then everyone agrees it's either a copperhead or a water moccasin.  According to your mom, water moccasins live in Minnesota now.


A "media identification guide" for snakes would be funny.
 
2014-07-01 11:02:58 AM  
Simpsons did it.
 
2014-07-01 11:07:52 AM  
I live in an Atlanta suburb and I'm on the edge of the flood plain/wetlands.  We have deer, beaver, raccoons, hawks, owls, and all sorts of interesting critters running around.  We haven't seen copperheads, but that could be because of the king snake that hangs out.
 
2014-07-01 11:08:49 AM  
I haven't notices a any OMG SNAKES stories in my far nothern burb of Atlanta, maybe I'm far enough out in the sticks that people expect them.
 
2014-07-01 11:11:57 AM  
It's a really good idea.
 
2014-07-01 11:12:43 AM  
Ship the copperheads to the hood in midtown - they'll eat up all the meth.
 
2014-07-01 11:13:25 AM  
I saw a whole nest of copperheads fighting with some pit bulls. That's when some dude jumped out and shot them all with his AK47.
 
2014-07-01 11:14:59 AM  
We just encountered our first snake here in Atlanta (~2 feet long, not a copperhead) while doing yard work on our new house.  My husband completely freaked out; I was the calm, cool, and collected one.


/you should see him around spiders, wasps, hornets, etc.
//it's hilarious
///I'm the nuisance killer in the family
 
2014-07-01 11:15:15 AM  

vudukungfu: I kept black rats snakes all over the place in Pennsylvania,
Because copperheads and rats.

they are wonderful and useful pets.


Don't they also grow in excess of seven feet long?  No thank you!!
 
2014-07-01 11:15:57 AM  

Loucifer: I saw a whole nest of copperheads fighting with some pit bulls. That's when some dude jumped out and shot them all with his AK47.


I came.
 
2014-07-01 11:16:21 AM  

Tom_Slick: I haven't notices a any OMG SNAKES stories in my far nothern burb of Atlanta, maybe I'm far enough out in the sticks that people expect them.


Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.
 
2014-07-01 11:19:18 AM  
And then in the winter the gorillas simply free...

Sybarite: I'm concerned that the Georgia winter simply won't get cold enough for the gorillas to freeze to death.


Turds!
 
2014-07-01 11:20:07 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.



We're in Brookhaven.  I haven't heard any snake stories, either.  But then again, I'm a physicist, not a stay-at-home mom.  I have better things to do with my time than gossip about snakes.
 
2014-07-01 11:20:49 AM  
Humans are so ridiculously stupid an misinformed when it comes to wildlife.
As soon as someone sees a snake, they immediately assume it must be one of those venemous ones that can kill you.  Meanwhile, they have no frigin clue what one of those looks like.
This is especially true in places like NJ where there are almost no venemous snakes except copperheads.  And since they rarely ever stray out of the deepest woods, they are hardly threat.
 
2014-07-01 11:22:26 AM  
The really bad snakes are all in DC.
 
2014-07-01 11:22:58 AM  

FizixJunkee: Rapmaster2000: Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.


We're in Brookhaven.  I haven't heard any snake stories, either.  But then again, I'm a physicist, not a stay-at-home mom.  I have better things to do with my time than gossip about snakes.


I regularly shop at the Publix near the stay at home mom haven of Windemere and I haven't heard any conversations of snakes.  I also spend most of my days in Alpharetta in corporate offices and haven't heard any watercooler talk of snakes.
 
2014-07-01 11:26:26 AM  

Tom_Slick: FizixJunkee: Rapmaster2000: Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.


We're in Brookhaven.  I haven't heard any snake stories, either.  But then again, I'm a physicist, not a stay-at-home mom.  I have better things to do with my time than gossip about snakes.

I regularly shop at the Publix near the stay at home mom haven of Windemere and I haven't heard any conversations of snakes.  I also spend most of my days in Alpharetta in corporate offices and haven't heard any watercooler talk of snakes.


Apparently Slate is trying to make snakes a thing. So the next time you are at the water cooler, bring it up.
 
2014-07-01 11:28:13 AM  

H31N0US: Tom_Slick: FizixJunkee: Rapmaster2000: Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.


We're in Brookhaven.  I haven't heard any snake stories, either.  But then again, I'm a physicist, not a stay-at-home mom.  I have better things to do with my time than gossip about snakes.

I regularly shop at the Publix near the stay at home mom haven of Windemere and I haven't heard any conversations of snakes.  I also spend most of my days in Alpharetta in corporate offices and haven't heard any watercooler talk of snakes.

Apparently Slate is trying to make snakes a thing. So the next time you are at the water cooler, bring it up.


No because then I need to talk to people I'm just evaluating their computers for upgrade issues.
 
2014-07-01 11:29:08 AM  

Tom_Slick: FizixJunkee: Rapmaster2000: Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.


We're in Brookhaven.  I haven't heard any snake stories, either.  But then again, I'm a physicist, not a stay-at-home mom.  I have better things to do with my time than gossip about snakes.

I regularly shop at the Publix near the stay at home mom haven of Windemere and I haven't heard any conversations of snakes.  I also spend most of my days in Alpharetta in corporate offices and haven't heard any watercooler talk of snakes.


Yeah, I work in Johns Creek and I haven't heard any snake talk.  Maybe I need to hang out more at the Publix and chat up the trophy wives in workout clothes with perfect make-up and hair.  I figure I'll just hang around the Greek yogurt.
 
2014-07-01 11:31:55 AM  

FizixJunkee: Rapmaster2000: Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.


We're in Brookhaven.  I haven't heard any snake stories, either.  But then again, I'm a physicist, not a stay-at-home mom.  I have better things to do with my time than gossip about snakes.


Like commenting on Fark instead of Physicating?
 
2014-07-01 11:34:29 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Tom_Slick: FizixJunkee: Rapmaster2000: Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.


We're in Brookhaven.  I haven't heard any snake stories, either.  But then again, I'm a physicist, not a stay-at-home mom.  I have better things to do with my time than gossip about snakes.

I regularly shop at the Publix near the stay at home mom haven of Windemere and I haven't heard any conversations of snakes.  I also spend most of my days in Alpharetta in corporate offices and haven't heard any watercooler talk of snakes.

Yeah, I work in Johns Creek and I haven't heard any snake talk.  Maybe I need to hang out more at the Publix and chat up the trophy wives in workout clothes with perfect make-up and hair.  I figure I'll just hang around the Greek yogurt.


Good idea things often get nippley in the refrigerated section.
 
2014-07-01 11:36:20 AM  
Can't they just put them on Delta?


i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-01 11:36:21 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Tom_Slick: I haven't notices a any OMG SNAKES stories in my far nothern burb of Atlanta, maybe I'm far enough out in the sticks that people expect them.

Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.


Actually, having grown up and lived all across the south, i was taught at a young age not to fark with snakes, and which ones were poisonous, and which were not, and then doubly enforced to leave them all alone.  On my grandpas property in the swamp we killed all venomous ones and left the kings alone.

Dive bars?

"Can't fight no steaks til I get some fuel in me."

images.amcnetworks.com
 
2014-07-01 11:36:50 AM  
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-01 11:37:38 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Yeah, I work in Johns Creek and I haven't heard any snake talk. Maybe I need to hang out more at the Publix and chat up the trophy wives in workout clothes with perfect make-up and hair. I figure I'll just hang around the Greek yogurt.


"Going Greek" is always a winning strategy.
 
2014-07-01 11:38:51 AM  
I just love suburban wildlife encounter stories.
"Honey, this is a great house, we've got woods and that stream, and plenty of back yard for the kid-- Oh! Look, sweetie. A rabbit! How precious."

After they move in: "What do you mean, raccoons carry rabies!?! And snakes like damp cool wooded places!?! And hunt rodents and rabbits!?! Black bear?!?! Oh my God, where do all these hideous, dangerous wild animals come from? Can't they go back where they belong?!?!"
 
2014-07-01 11:40:55 AM  

Loucifer: I saw a whole nest of copperheads fighting with some pit bulls. That's when some dude jumped out and shot them all with his AK47.


Pew! Pew! 'Murica.
 
2014-07-01 11:43:20 AM  
As far as suburban wildlife goes, I don't mind snakes. It's the mosquitoes, groundhogs, and those big rat things that eat all the plants... "deer" I think they're called.
 
2014-07-01 11:47:01 AM  

vudukungfu: I kept black rats snakes all over the place in Pennsylvania,
Because copperheads and rats.

they are wonderful and useful pets.


Word, black snakes are our friends.
 
2014-07-01 11:48:38 AM  

Unobtanium: I just love suburban wildlife encounter stories.
"Honey, this is a great house, we've got woods and that stream, and plenty of back yard for the kid-- Oh! Look, sweetie. A rabbit! How precious."

After they move in: "What do you mean, raccoons carry rabies!?! And snakes like damp cool wooded places!?! And hunt rodents and rabbits!?! Black bear?!?! Oh my God, where do all these hideous, dangerous wild animals come from? Can't they go back where they belong?!?!"


Reminds me of a real estate cartoon I saw last week.  This guy and his wife are giving the criteria for the house they want:

"We want a nice secluded spot, loaded with nature, and lots of open spaces."
"We also want clubs with great atmosphere and night life, within walking distance."
 
2014-07-01 12:14:49 PM  

durbnpoisn: Humans are so ridiculously stupid an misinformed when it comes to wildlife.
As soon as someone sees a snake, they immediately assume it must be one of those venemous ones that can kill you.  Meanwhile, they have no frigin clue what one of those looks like.
This is especially true in places like NJ where there are almost no venemous snakes except copperheads.  And since they rarely ever stray out of the deepest woods, they are hardly threat.


As someone from deep woods jersey we used to see copperheadds pretty often...still we never freaked out about it. as a kid you learned what to look for and to stay away...or grab a shovel.

/we also have rattlesnakes but they were actually damn rare...copperheads though were pretty regular
 
2014-07-01 12:21:18 PM  
"It is important to keep in mind that a majority of snake bites occur when attempts are made to kill, capture, or harass these animals."

Yeah, don't do any of that stuff. Shoot it. Bang. Dead.
 
2014-07-01 12:35:03 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Tom_Slick: I haven't notices a any OMG SNAKES stories in my far nothern burb of Atlanta, maybe I'm far enough out in the sticks that people expect them.

Yeah, I'm in Toco Hills and I haven't heard one.  According to this lady, she lives by me and everyone here is talking about it.  Must be a "moms at the swim and tennis club" conversation.  I never heard it mentioned at any of the dive bars.


Just moved back to phoenix from Atl. Worked at the Toco Hills Kroger. /end csb
 
2014-07-01 12:48:02 PM  
Decaturite here, throwing my hat into the "haven't heard a thing about snakes" corner.

Sounds like spooked moms who seemed to have forgotten they live in one of the most venomous regions of the world. Georgia's the Australia of the US, every single type of venomous critter that lives in North America lives here.
 
2014-07-01 12:53:23 PM  

GoldSpider: vudukungfu: I kept black rats snakes all over the place in Pennsylvania,
Because copperheads and rats.

they are wonderful and useful pets.

Don't they also grow in excess of seven feet long?  No thank you!!



Yes, they do. Longest one I have seen here in TN was 11 Feet 7 inches, and had wrapped itself around a sawmill engine block to keep warm. Had a local game warden come out to remove the snake from our property, and we got it to stretch out long enough (no pun intended) to be measured. Friendly giant, didn't seem interested in harming us.

12349876: Rapmaster2000: I've noticed this new trend on facebook of every snake being a copperhead.  Some mom will post a snake picture and then everyone agrees it's either a copperhead or a water moccasin.  According to your mom, water moccasins live in Minnesota now.

A "media identification guide" for snakes would be funny.


Ask and ye shall receive:

img.fark.net

/Quick and dirty via paint, no shoop skills.
 
2014-07-01 01:00:40 PM  
The best defense against a bad snake in a city is a good snake in a city.


washington-babylon: GoldSpider: A "media identification guide" for snakes would be funny.

Ask and ye shall receive:

[img.fark.net image 850x606]

/Quick and dirty via paint, no shoop skills.


I would have included

hdsupplysolutions.com
 
2014-07-01 01:26:25 PM  

GoldSpider: Don't they also grow in excess of seven feet long


I had an 8 footer in 8th grade.
Brought it in at the request of the science teacher to patrol the rodent room.
Other kids had rodents. and they learned the law of the jungle about securing their rodent cages.
Hey, we had a cafeteria in that school.

Gotta work on getting some more, had to kill 2 rattlers under mom's porch last year.
 
2014-07-01 01:35:55 PM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: Ship the copperheads to the hood in midtown - they'll eat up all the meth.


Now that's a Syfy movie.
 
2014-07-01 01:50:58 PM  
Good thing GA got their "guns everywhere" law. That should fix the problem.
 
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