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(The Malay Mail)   France surrenders to Titan's Penis. Ohh myyyy   (themalaymailonline.com) divider line 47
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7234 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2014 at 9:05 AM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-01 01:19:21 AM  
It appears once every 10 years and lasts for only 72 hours. The flower is also known for its deeply unpleasant odour reminiscent of rotting meat.

I want to make so many jokes, but I'm giggling way too hard right now.
 
2014-07-01 09:08:08 AM  
The world's saddest flower: opens once a decade, looks around for a partner to get its pollination on, farts the odor of rotten meat, then goes back to sleep.
 
2014-07-01 09:08:41 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-01 09:12:56 AM  
"I'm gettin' a little ummm, anxious, if ya know what I mean,"-B. Juice
 
2014-07-01 09:16:10 AM  
I thought titans didn't have genitalia.
 
2014-07-01 09:17:34 AM  
Amorphophallus Titanum was my nickname in high school, so I'm getting a kick . . .
 
2014-07-01 09:17:41 AM  

JonnyBGoode: I thought titans didn't have genitalia.


God I hope that movie actually happens.
 
2014-07-01 09:18:09 AM  
Seems more like a giant raging clitoris to me. Feel free to use that as a band name.
 
2014-07-01 09:25:59 AM  
outstanding photograph in the article... really captures the impressive scale of the bloom... other than cutting off the top and the bottom and not showing the 'naughty bits'.
 
2014-07-01 09:26:38 AM  
This should be a photoshop extravaganza
 
2014-07-01 09:33:23 AM  
"...though the one in Nantes measures only 1.6 metres."

That sounded harsh...
 
2014-07-01 09:34:31 AM  
A giant dick that smells like rotting flesh." Don't rush, girls, there's enough for everyone."
 
2014-07-01 09:39:06 AM  
3 Meters... That's it? Psh... Titan Penis sounds little optimistic...
 
2014-07-01 09:39:58 AM  
Amorphophallus Titanum is Latin for Wolverine's dick.
 
2014-07-01 09:47:24 AM  

JonnyBGoode: I thought titans didn't have genitalia.


It's a unique variant.
 
2014-07-01 09:47:37 AM  
Weird. That's what I call my penis.
 
2014-07-01 09:52:36 AM  

Sofa King Smart: outstanding photograph in the article... really captures the impressive scale of the bloom... other than cutting off the top and the bottom and not showing the 'naughty bits'.


This.
 
2014-07-01 09:56:55 AM  
Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.
 
2014-07-01 09:58:30 AM  
If your Titan's Penis last longer than 72 hours, see your doctor.
 
2014-07-01 10:00:03 AM  
"It is a pretty flower, well-designed, well-structured," said one of the visitors, Christian Hamon.

Who designed this flower?
 
2014-07-01 10:02:56 AM  

gregory311: "It is a pretty flower, well-designed, well-structured," said one of the visitors, Christian Hamon.

Who designed this flower?


Mother Nature?

/actually I bet it was Phil.
 
2014-07-01 10:06:58 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.


How YOU doin?
 
2014-07-01 10:13:05 AM  
I saw one of these about 9 years ago. The botanical garden near me had one and since I was out of work at the time and would jog through the park every day I would stop in and see if it was in bloom. The day it was in bloom, that smell, like something died and dropped a taco bell dump, made me gag a lot, but it was pretty.
 
2014-07-01 10:15:15 AM  
My God, the cartoon's the real deal! Now the titans have genitals? They'll rape and eat us all!
 
2014-07-01 10:16:19 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.


How YOU doin'?
 
2014-07-01 10:17:14 AM  

Smoking GNU: unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.

How YOU doin?


Dammnit!
 
2014-07-01 10:19:44 AM  

BubbaJones: Smoking GNU: unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.

How YOU doin?

Dammnit!


*waiting patiently currently #3 in line
 
2014-07-01 10:20:28 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.


His rotting, smelling like death, penis?  These fetishes are getting out of hand.
 
2014-07-01 10:21:11 AM  
Funny that everyone else calls it a carrion flower.

/stinky French peenflower smells like rotten meat.
 
2014-07-01 10:21:13 AM  
Also know as the Corpse Flower.
img.fark.net

I don't see a penis.
 
2014-07-01 10:37:34 AM  
People are going to see this thing? I ever end up sighting a giant zombie penis I am running away as fast as I can.
 
2014-07-01 10:46:37 AM  

blatz514: unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.

His rotting, smelling like death, penis?  These fetishes are getting out of hand.


Hey, when you get home from the gym, your junk might have an odor to it, is all I'm sayin'... Especially after an hour on the treadmill or elliptical...
 
2014-07-01 10:47:40 AM  

gregory311: "It is a pretty flower, well-designed, well-structured," said one of the visitors, Christian Hamon.

Who designed this flower?


c1.staticflickr.com
 
2014-07-01 10:53:28 AM  

CeroX: blatz514: unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.

His rotting, smelling like death, penis?  These fetishes are getting out of hand.

Hey, when you get home from the gym, your junk might have an odor to it, is all I'm sayin'... Especially after an hour on the treadmill or elliptical...


This is why I skip the gym.  My junk needs to smell rosy fresh all day long.
 
2014-07-01 10:57:32 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.


www.electricdex.com

Am I doin' it right?
 
2014-07-01 11:08:28 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.


You just wanted to see the hits to your profile go up, didn't you?
 
2014-07-01 11:32:34 AM  

WilliamLeeTwitch: My God, the cartoon's the real deal! Now the titans have genitals? They'll rape and eat us all!


Unless they have a way to shrink down to human size, I don't think we need to worry about them raping us.

/...oh wait
 
2014-07-01 11:40:43 AM  
i.imgur.com
Note the worshipful reverence of the ladies for the ginormous penis-like thing.
 
2014-07-01 11:58:12 AM  
We always called it a corpse flower.

But the garden knows you'll draw more French people by describing it as a giant dong.
 
2014-07-01 12:09:31 PM  
Now that the word is out, Religious fanatics will be swarming with their signs about how nasty it is. "My child shouldn't have to look at a giant flowering penis."
 
2014-07-01 12:23:11 PM  

flemardo: Seems more like a giant raging clitoris to me. Feel free to use that as a band name.


If that is what a clitoris looks like to you, you may need your eyes checked
 
2014-07-01 12:32:01 PM  
I aw no lions, tigers or bears. I call bullshiat.
 
2014-07-01 03:22:14 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-01 04:25:15 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: Dammit. I broke up with my BF a few weeks ago and badly miss surrendering to penis.


Alright!

www.myessentia.com
 
2014-07-01 04:39:04 PM  

Private_Citizen: We always called it a corpse flower.

But the garden knows you'll draw more French people by describing it as a giant dong.


Apparently, there are multiple different species all called corpse or carrion flowers, of which this Titan Penis is but one example...
 
2014-07-01 04:53:29 PM  
Misshapen penis, subby: "amorphophallus" means misshapen.
 
2014-07-01 11:33:28 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: The world's saddest flower: opens once a decade, looks around for a partner to get its pollination on, farts the odor of rotten meat, then goes back to sleep.


I think I sailed with that guy once. Thank the gods he was the other side of the mess.
 
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