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(SlashFilm)   Star Wars Episode VII made Kevin Smith cry   (slashfilm.com) divider line 92
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10881 clicks; posted to Geek » on 01 Jul 2014 at 4:06 AM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-01 02:29:58 AM  
Is he still too fat to fly?
 
2014-07-01 02:39:03 AM  

Bucky Katt: Is he still too fat to fly?


Obviously not. He made it to England.

Smith really loves Star Wars. He was one of the big supporters of the prequels when everyone else was craping on them. (This is not to say he didn't have his problems with them)
 
2014-07-01 03:18:35 AM  
I'll bet visiting the set made him really happy. It was seeing all that British "food" when he was stoned out of his gourd that made him cry.

/I still love you, Kevin
 
2014-07-01 03:20:12 AM  
I'm not sure Kevin Smith is qualified to be the arbiter of good and bad movies considering his love of the prequels.

Now, if he told me what he thought was the best hoagie place in town, I'd be all ears.
 
2014-07-01 04:06:51 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I'm not sure Kevin Smith is qualified to be the arbiter of good and bad movies considering his love of the prequels.

Now, if he told me what he thought was the best hoagie place in town, I'd be all ears.


He's with Ralph Garman on the tour, and Ralph is from Philly, so at least that would have some weight to it.

/HA HA, WEIGHT!
//GET IT?
//kidding, Ralph would know a good hoagie even without Kevin
 
2014-07-01 04:21:27 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I'm not sure Kevin Smith is qualified to be the arbiter of good and bad movies considering his love of the prequels.

Now, if he told me what he thought was the best hoagie place in town, I'd be all ears.


Seriously.  The first couple prequels weren't even shot well.  Shot/reverse shot for every. single. dialogue scene.  The most interesting thing to happen while two characters were talking was when Padme was packing.  I don't know how a director could defend those.
 
2014-07-01 04:33:48 AM  
Q: What do Kevin Smith and women have in common?

A: They both can be pretty cool to be around until they open their farking mouths.
 
2014-07-01 05:13:18 AM  
Well, I guess it's only fair, since the prequels made everyone else cry.
 
2014-07-01 05:21:56 AM  

msqualia: Seriously.  The first couple prequels weren't even shot well.  Shot/reverse shot for every. single. dialogue scene.  The most interesting thing to happen while two characters were talking was when Padme was packing.  I don't know how a director could defend those.


Smith isn't a particularly good director, or at least, he's a minimal director of scenes that a soap opera director could shoot. His big thing is actor-to-actor scenes with often exceptional dialogue. You probably can't think of a single great Kevin Smith shot, but you know a ton of dialogue.
 
2014-07-01 05:28:36 AM  

farkeruk: often exceptional dialogue.


Memorable and overwritten, maybe.  By the standard of "memorable", we could call "Manos: Hands of Fate" exceptional also.
 
2014-07-01 05:33:44 AM  
Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.
 
2014-07-01 06:14:25 AM  

Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.


It's not going to be any worse than the prequels.  Nothing will ever be that bad
 
2014-07-01 06:19:41 AM  

Six_By_Nine: farkeruk: often exceptional dialogue.

Memorable and overwritten, maybe.  By the standard of "memorable", we could call "Manos: Hands of Fate" exceptional also.


ThE mAsTeR wOuLd NoT aPpRoVe!
 
2014-07-01 06:32:24 AM  

gmoney101: Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.

It's not going to be any worse than the prequels.  Nothing will ever be that bad


How can you know that?
 
2014-07-01 07:25:29 AM  
...and then he was very sad
 
2014-07-01 07:26:14 AM  
Many of us are huge Star Wars fans, and the mere thought that there's a new film being shot right now is enough to give chills.

In the sense that it leaves me cold, absolutely.
 
2014-07-01 07:27:25 AM  

B.L.Z. Bub: gmoney101: Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.

It's not going to be any worse than the prequels.  Nothing will ever be that bad

How can you know that?


Like Luke on Life Day, he felt its presents.
 
2014-07-01 07:32:33 AM  

Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.


What do you dislike about JJ's Star Trek reboot? Plot holes? Lack of logical consistency? Two dimensional archetypes for characters? Over-reliance on action and humor over thoughtful science fiction?

Now, which franchise was *built* on those elements?

That's right, he'll be fine.

His Star Trek was the Star Wars movie he always wanted to make. One can argue if it's a good Star Trek movie but there's no doubt it's a good Star Wars movie.
 
2014-07-01 07:37:17 AM  
Star Wars is built on the fact that it was one of the first space opera movies to not suck.
 
2014-07-01 07:41:14 AM  

ryarger: Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.

What do you dislike about JJ's Star Trek reboot? Plot holes? Lack of logical consistency? Two dimensional archetypes for characters? Over-reliance on action and humor over thoughtful science fiction?

Now, which franchise was *built* on those elements?

That's right, he'll be fine.

His Star Trek was the Star Wars movie he always wanted to make. One can argue if it's a good Star Trek movie but there's no doubt it's a good Star Wars movie.


And JJ's Trek movies were better than many of the previous Trek movies. In fact, I would rate the last two Next Generation Trek movies as worse than the prequels. That's right, I said it. And I stand by it. Those films were terrible.
 
2014-07-01 07:50:24 AM  

ryarger: Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.

What do you dislike about JJ's Star Trek reboot? Plot holes? Lack of logical consistency? Two dimensional archetypes for characters? Over-reliance on action and humor over thoughtful science fiction?

Now, which franchise was *built* on those elements?

That's right, he'll be fine.

His Star Trek was the Star Wars movie he always wanted to make. One can argue if it's a good Star Trek movie but there's no doubt it's a good Star Wars movie.


I think some people (trolls) just get no joy out if life.
 
2014-07-01 07:52:01 AM  

Darth_Lukecash: Smith really loves Star Wars. He was one of the big supporters of the prequels when everyone else was craping on them. (This is not to say he didn't have his problems with them)


I'm not a Kevin Smith fanboy, but I do enjoy most of his work (Red State was awesome). One of the things I like about him is the way plot holes big enough to drive a truck through don't derail the whole experience for him. If there are enjoyable parts to a flawed movie, he's able to enjoy them.
 
2014-07-01 07:52:18 AM  
DRTFA. Is Kevin Smith getting into the estrogen pills again?

Males can't lactate; let it go, man.
 
2014-07-01 07:59:13 AM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: DRTFA. Is Kevin Smith getting into the estrogen pills again?

Males can't lactate; let it go, man.


You can induce lactation in males.  It takes a  lotof work though.
 
2014-07-01 08:10:41 AM  

Shakin_Haitian: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: DRTFA. Is Kevin Smith getting into the estrogen pills again?

Males can't lactate; let it go, man.

You can induce lactation in males.  It takes a  lotof work though.

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-01 08:19:15 AM  
Kevin Smith is so stoned all the time he will cry for almost anything.
 
2014-07-01 08:24:37 AM  
Streaming ropes of jism
Kev - in
F@#k tape star Kim Kardashian
Mylie Cyrus - Llama toothed biatch
Justin Beiber - You're a little coont
Tinseltown Stiffs
Hollywood Helpers
Exquisite Acting
Shiat that should not be


/more margaritas
 
2014-07-01 08:26:04 AM  
Concerning Star Wars 7- My bet is that there will be a lot of running around with a sense of urgency.
 
2014-07-01 08:26:17 AM  
fegit
 
2014-07-01 08:33:35 AM  
Timothy Zahn should have been asked to contribute to the new movies.

The few good things to come from the prequels were ancillary effects, mostly in the form of video games.
 
2014-07-01 08:35:11 AM  

Six_By_Nine: farkeruk: often exceptional dialogue.

Memorable and overwritten, maybe.  By the standard of "memorable", we could call "Manos: Hands of Fate" exceptional also.


Are you talking about Smith or Whedon?
 
2014-07-01 08:38:47 AM  
Meh...I want a Battle Beyond the Stars sequel.

brianorndorf.typepad.com

John Boy with Hannibal Smith

2.bp.blogspot.com

This guy...who always plays "that guy"

c2.staticflickr.com

And well those two
 
2014-07-01 09:15:34 AM  
If the rumors are true, Kevin cries about a lot of stuff. Star Wars, movie studios, a dry ham sandwich...
 
2014-07-01 09:16:28 AM  

ryarger: What do you dislike about JJ's Star Trek reboot? Plot holes? Lack of logical consistency? Two dimensional archetypes for characters? Over-reliance on action and humor over thoughtful science fiction?


You just described every episode and every movie in the Star Trek universe.

I've been watching Trek for the past 44 years, and while I do love it, it has never been thoughtful science fiction. It's been a space opera since it began.
 
2014-07-01 09:29:42 AM  

gmoney101: Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.

It's not going to be any worse than the prequels.  Nothing will ever be that bad


i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-01 09:38:02 AM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Meh...I want a Battle Beyond the Stars sequel.

[brianorndorf.typepad.com image 500x281]

John Boy with Hannibal Smith

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 266x196]

This guy...who always plays "that guy"

[c2.staticflickr.com image 422x640]

And well those two


but they are all dead, except for John Boy . . .

\\ The only other ones might be the Kelvin, if they were able to be re-heated.
\\ yeah, I know, cheesy as all hell, but I liked it
 
2014-07-01 09:38:44 AM  

gmoney101: Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.

It's not going to be any worse than the prequels.  Nothing will ever be that bad


Never say stuff like that:  Since you said nothing will ever be that bad, something will be that bad.
 
2014-07-01 09:49:55 AM  

47 is the new 42: gmoney101: Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.

It's not going to be any worse than the prequels.  Nothing will ever be that bad

Never say stuff like that:  Since you said nothing will ever be that bad, something will be that bad.


I thought Troll 2 was worse... does that count? Or are we going with movies since 1999? Because if that is the case, then I might be able to list a few movies that are worse then the prequels. Though most would be SyFy made for TV movies. Maybe we could say Transformers might add to that. Or After Earth and the Last Air bender.
 
2014-07-01 09:57:09 AM  
Seeing a hamburger on the floor also makes Kevin Smith cry. I kid!

Went to one of his live events. The questions posed consisted of "blah blah lame almost nothing question, oh by the way will you sign my crap?!"

I get that Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes wanted to be nice guys but I didn't pay good money hoping to see a handful of dorks get crap signed. It was a huge distraction.

Lots of fat guys, and B.O. Kevin really is a hero to fat people.
 
2014-07-01 10:02:21 AM  

give me doughnuts: ryarger: What do you dislike about JJ's Star Trek reboot? Plot holes? Lack of logical consistency? Two dimensional archetypes for characters? Over-reliance on action and humor over thoughtful science fiction?

You just described every episode and every movie in the Star Trek universe.

I've been watching Trek for the past 44 years, and while I do love it, it has never been thoughtful science fiction. It's been a space opera since it began.


Oh no you di-int!!! You have awaken the wrath of the fans who will assure you how deep and intellectual ST was, it's that you don't get it!
 
2014-07-01 10:04:05 AM  
What a shocker that Kevin Smith is a Star Wars nerd
 
2014-07-01 10:04:20 AM  

ryarger: Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.

What do you dislike about JJ's Star Trek reboot? Plot holes? Lack of logical consistency? Two dimensional archetypes for characters? Over-reliance on action and humor over thoughtful science fiction?

Now, which franchise was *built* on those elements?

That's right, he'll be fine.

His Star Trek was the Star Wars movie he always wanted to make. One can argue if it's a good Star Trek movie but there's no doubt it's a good Star Wars movie.


I can forgive some of what was wrong with his Star Trek because he cast Simon Pegg as Scotty.
 
2014-07-01 10:09:33 AM  

Fano: ...and then he was very sad


Not even Yoda can see their fate. 

give me doughnuts: ryarger: What do you dislike about JJ's Star Trek reboot? Plot holes? Lack of logical consistency? Two dimensional archetypes for characters? Over-reliance on action and humor over thoughtful science fiction?

You just described every episode and every movie in the Star Trek universe.

I've been watching Trek for the past 44 years, and while I do love it, it has never been thoughtful science fiction. It's been a space opera since it began.


JJ could have went the way of the original series and had a movie about an Ancient Greece planet, a wild west planet, a Mafia planet, etc.  It kind of makes Star Wars' single terrain planets seem brilliant by comparison.
 
2014-07-01 10:12:45 AM  

give me doughnuts: ryarger: What do you dislike about JJ's Star Trek reboot? Plot holes? Lack of logical consistency? Two dimensional archetypes for characters? Over-reliance on action and humor over thoughtful science fiction?

You just described every episode and every movie in the Star Trek universe.

I've been watching Trek for the past 44 years, and while I do love it, it has never been thoughtful science fiction. It's been a space opera since it began.


There is a whole nerd subculture that loves those boring TNG episodes where the cast spent the whole episode wringing their hands over how the Prime Directive dictates their relationship with some new alien species characterized by novel forehead makeup until something technobabble something resolved the plot in an obvious deus ex machina.  They call themselves Trekkers.  They want to suck all the fun out of Star Trek AND Star Wars.

James T, Kirk has always been a swaggering hero type that plows his way through all kinds of alien poon. Get used to it.  That seems to be the set-up left at the end of the last movie.
 
2014-07-01 10:24:57 AM  

TheNewJesus: Lots of fat guys, and B.O. Kevin really is a hero to fat people


Smith wrote* an entire book called his "boring ass life" that consisted of him fark'n his hot wife, hosted a party every weekend, and doing whatever else shiat he wanted.  The guy is an asshole.  But I can see how he could be seen as a hero to some.

*wrote as in just took all his poorly written blog entries and threw them into a poorly formed book
 
2014-07-01 10:25:02 AM  
Are we sure that Kevin wasn't just blinded by some lens flares that JJ left laying around the set?

Slightly NSFW Language
 
2014-07-01 11:01:59 AM  
That fat, Star Wars crying man-child would never be laid, ever...if it wasn't for his money.
 
2014-07-01 11:06:36 AM  

Bslim: Good for Kevin getting to live that experience. Too bad JJ is going to make us all cry when he is done shiatting all over the saga.


...and so it begins.

I take that back: It never stopped...and hasn't since 1977.

/No fan will ever be happy until they see it "their way".
//And every fan has a different concept of what "their way" is.
 
2014-07-01 11:18:49 AM  
beats the hell out of the episode 3 set:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-07-01 11:22:33 AM  
At one time Kevin Smith made some amusing dick and fart joke comedies. Clerks was great, Mallrats was great, Chasing Amy is getting weaker as I get older (she was a whore in high school, so what? Get over it, dude), Dogma was amazing (and probably his best film), Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was enjoyable despite needing to see 4 other movies first and having Will Ferrell in it. Then dude was all "I'm done with dick and fart joke movies, I'm gonna do real movies" and did the mediocre Jersey Girl. And when it was savaged by the critics he ran right back to the dick and fart movies with Clerks 2. That always seemed weird, retire your main "thing" to do real grown up movies and when the very first one stumbles a bit, it's right back to the well. At least Clerks 2 was funny though. But Zack and Miri Make a Porno ended up being awful (stupid 4th act "message" ruined the picture, like a number of other comedies), Cop Out was just awful (who hires Kevin Smith to direct a movie?), I didn't see Red State because it comes across like pretentious garbage, and Tusk sounds like a movie that was on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

And the saddest part about it is that dude's best work was the Clerks cartoon and it only had 6 episodes 14 years ago.
 
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