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(NYPost)   "So you want to be a chemistry teacher" instructor manual. Page 1, Step 1: Do NOT set your students on fire   (nypost.com) divider line 64
    More: Obvious, Alonzo Yanes, Anna Poole  
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2905 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2014 at 7:38 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



64 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-27 02:01:03 AM  
Not even once?
 
2014-06-27 02:17:27 AM  
Then what's the purpose of studying chemistry?
 
2014-06-27 02:26:50 AM  
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
                                                                        -George Carlin
 
2014-06-27 07:07:05 AM  
Sad story.  More sad because it has happened before: After the Rainbow
 
2014-06-27 07:42:30 AM  
Isn't that every teachers dream?
 
2014-06-27 07:42:35 AM  
Burning Bad?
 
2014-06-27 07:46:04 AM  
Well what if you let the students set themselves on fire? That not really bad? It's more like a teaser for biology class, right?
 
2014-06-27 07:49:02 AM  
Take one football-sized lump of sodium. Drop it in a large beaker of water. Duck.
 
2014-06-27 07:49:50 AM  
i1207.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-27 07:52:26 AM  
I set my chemistry teacher on fire, so it all evens out in the end.

/bunson burner was leaking gas and when he tried turning it back on it burned all the hairs on his handd
 
2014-06-27 07:57:48 AM  
Nowadays I would have thought that step 1 page one would have been "Don't Fark your students". Who knew...
 
2014-06-27 07:58:25 AM  
LEMME SHOW YA SOMETHING!!!

electrokami.com
 
2014-06-27 08:04:02 AM  
So is that an endothermic or exothermic reaction?
 
2014-06-27 08:06:13 AM  
I still remember the day we got the freshman kid to take a lit match to an upside down beaker filled with hydrogen.

Good times.
 
2014-06-27 08:08:47 AM  

TheHighlandHowler: Sad story.  More sad because it has happened before: After the Rainbow


CSB by the CSB
 
2014-06-27 08:15:03 AM  
I had a lab teacher accidentally set his grade book on fire.  He was only there a year as part of a loan repayment scheme though, so I don't think he was all that invested in lab procedure or the grades.
 
2014-06-27 08:18:10 AM  

gadian: I had a lab teacher accidentally set his grade book on fire.  He was only there a year as part of a loan repayment scheme though, so I don't think he was all that invested in lab procedure or the grades.


You can just kind of sling out grades semi-randomly based on how much you like kids and nine out of ten they're the same grades the kids would have earned.
 
2014-06-27 08:26:09 AM  

Ryker's Peninsula: Then what's the purpose of studying chemistry?


The pork pie hat.
 
2014-06-27 08:26:15 AM  

phamwaa: Take one football-sized lump of sodium. Drop it in a large beaker of water. Duck.


Football sized? Sheesh, my high school chem teacher was a wimp with a golf ball sized lump for his demonstration. Still blew the safety shield off the desk though.
 
2014-06-27 08:26:36 AM  
My chemistry teacher brought in liquid nitrogen one day. While demonstrating its flash-freeze properties she accidentally spilled some. The student closest to the spill had to jump out of the way; otherwise, the liquid nitrogen would have spilled over his foot. Considering he was the school's star cross country runner, that could have been very bad.

This same teacher also managed to lock herself in her own car (she even had the keys and key fob in her hands) and, in a separate incident, locked herself into her own house. She couldn't understand that she could free herself with her own keys.
 
2014-06-27 08:31:00 AM  
I would stay after school and burn things with her.

img.fark.net
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-06-27 08:31:45 AM  
"It's very clear from the report that they conducted an experiment that they had been warned by the government was dangerous," said Jeffrey Bloom, lawyer for badly burned Alonzo Yanes, 16.

But the gov'ment is totally incompetent.  We don't need protection from them.

Erp, not usually.
 
2014-06-27 08:31:58 AM  
fc01.deviantart.net
 
2014-06-27 08:32:24 AM  
"It's very clear from the report that they conducted an experiment that they had been warned by the government was dangerous,"

Well there's your problem right there, who the fark listens to the gubment?

Seriously, who knew kids were flammable? Shouldn't they have warning labels or something?
 
2014-06-27 08:33:08 AM  

aevorea: My chemistry teacher brought in liquid nitrogen one day. While demonstrating its flash-freeze properties she accidentally spilled some. The student closest to the spill had to jump out of the way; otherwise, the liquid nitrogen would have spilled over his foot. Considering he was the school's star cross country runner, that could have been very bad.

This same teacher also managed to lock herself in her own car (she even had the keys and key fob in her hands) and, in a separate incident, locked herself into her own house. She couldn't understand that she could free herself with her own keys.


Unless the teacher poured a considerable amount directly on his foot he would have been just fine... believe me I'd jump out of the way as well but the risk of actual injury was probably more from jumping out of the way than from whatever amount she might have spilled toward him.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-06-27 08:33:52 AM  

doglover: gadian: I had a lab teacher accidentally set his grade book on fire.  He was only there a year as part of a loan repayment scheme though, so I don't think he was all that invested in lab procedure or the grades.

You can just kind of sling out grades semi-randomly based on how much you like kids and nine out of ten they're the same grades the kids would have earned.


I think this is what some of my high school teachers did, quite honestly.  We also didn't have any girls that would have looked good in a school girl uniform that I remember, so it wasn't that...
 
2014-06-27 08:34:24 AM  

theflatline: I would stay after school and burn things with her.

[img.fark.net image 259x194]


Come on baby light my fire.  Would hit that between the bunson burners.
 
2014-06-27 08:35:04 AM  
blogs-images.forbes.com
 
2014-06-27 08:35:41 AM  
Can you show me a better way to teach the difference between exothermic and endothermic, subby?  Can you really?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-06-27 08:36:00 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: I still remember the day we got the freshman kid to take a lit match to an upside down beaker filled with hydrogen.

Good times.


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-06-27 08:44:05 AM  
so, you mean to tell me that she didn't have sex with him? quizzicalafricankid.jpg
 
2014-06-27 08:46:18 AM  
First of all, to be that guy, methanol is not "explosive." Can't tell if that is NY Post hyperbole or lawyer hyperbole from the case filing.

Anyway, a lot of chemistry teachers are not chemists. I have seen chemical closets stored with the chemicals in alphabetical order. I have seen teachers order the 16 oz. bottle when they use 10 ml in a year, because they rememeber what they taught in home economics about price per ounce. I talked to a guy that helped move a college chemistry department. They had to use the bomb squad for some of it, he had cool home video of the "disposal" at a bomb range. One little two ounce bottle almost took out the video camera. Chemistry "instructors" are dangerous people.
 
2014-06-27 08:51:51 AM  

d23: White_Scarf_Syndrome: I still remember the day we got the freshman kid to take a lit match to an upside down beaker filled with hydrogen.

Good times.

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]



Oooh Mr. Wizard!

We had some HCl acid and were told to put magnesium strips in the beaker.  Because we were such geniuses, we placed a larger beaker on top of the small beaker with the acid.  We were able to contain the hydrogen gas forming.  The upside down larger beaker had a little lip for pouring.  So we scooted the whole setup to the edge of the lab table so the little spout lip was hanging off the edge.  "Hey, freshman kid.  Get over here".  We then handed him a book of matches and instructed him to hold the lit match to the spout hanging off the edge.  We knew what was in store and secretly scooted away while he struck the match.

The large beaker shot straight up into the air about 3 feet with a deep and very loud WHOOOOOMMP sound.  It landed and shattered right next to the smaller container.  A girl across the room started to cry.  The teacher was a pretty cool guy actually.  He knew what was up. He always said the word "students".  Like "Stuuudeents!!  We don't need any 'junior scientists' over there, so clean that mess up!"

We were pretty lucky the whole thing didn't explode into millions of tiny glass shards.  Instead it shot the beaker straight up like a rocket.  God, we were dumb.
 
2014-06-27 08:54:48 AM  
The schools at fault for hiring her.  Everyone known that women can't science good.  Same reason they don't hire Asian women as driving instructors.
 
2014-06-27 08:58:16 AM  

Radioactive Ass: Nowadays I would have thought that step 1 page one would have been "Don't Fark your students". Who knew...


"OH MY GOD I SET A STUDENT ON FIRE!!!! And I'm farking my students."

No one would pay any attention to that second part. Hmmm... maybe she's not as stupid as she seems.
 
2014-06-27 09:01:49 AM  

Ryker's Peninsula: Then what's the purpose of studying chemistry?


Becoming a meth kingpin
 
2014-06-27 09:04:20 AM  
So that's what I did wrong...
 
2014-06-27 09:06:11 AM  
I always thought Step 1 was "Don't set yourself on fire.
Or was that for welding class?
 
2014-06-27 09:13:31 AM  

TheHighlandHowler: Sad story.  More sad because it has happened before: After the Rainbow


img.fark.net
 
2014-06-27 09:15:25 AM  
If only she'd doused that flaming experiment with methanol  properly!
 
2014-06-27 09:18:38 AM  

aevorea: My chemistry teacher brought in liquid nitrogen one day. While demonstrating its flash-freeze properties she accidentally spilled some. The student closest to the spill had to jump out of the way; otherwise, the liquid nitrogen would have spilled over his foot. Considering he was the school's star cross country runner, that could have been very bad.


But it would have been OK if it was just one of those Chess nerds, right?
 
2014-06-27 09:18:53 AM  
store.thinksai.com
 
2014-06-27 09:19:54 AM  
NOT?  damn it!
 
2014-06-27 09:20:07 AM  
We had a chemistry teacher who thought it prudent to show us what happens when you light a magnesium strip...
...holding the other end of the strip in his fingers.


Having actually learned something from repeating and laughing at that story for ages, when my kids got a chemistry set that had a magnesium strip, I lodged the edge in a small tree branch. Held it over the flame. Nothing.
Nothing.
THERE WE GO!!

Chemistry can be deceiving.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-06-27 09:22:27 AM  

GDubDub: The schools at fault for hiring her.  Everyone known that women can't science good.  Same reason they don't hire Asian women as driving instructors.


Well... she should have been teaching creationism.  It's all god's plan, so why no just let him handle it.
 
2014-06-27 09:24:03 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-27 09:28:30 AM  

hillary: give me doughnuts: I always thought Step 1 was "Don't set yourself on fire.
Or was that for welding class?

1. Collect underpants


My lesson from welding was:
Things take a VERY long time to cool down.

/getting blisters on both pinching fingers is a bummer and can cramp your style
 
2014-06-27 09:29:13 AM  

Unobtanium: I talked to a guy that helped move a college chemistry department. They had to use the bomb squad for some of it, he had cool home video of the "disposal" at a bomb range. One little two ounce bottle almost took out the video camera.


I'd lay a bet that was some old, dried-out picric acid. When I was in school, the teachers found two containers of it in two different storage spaces. They called the bomb squad to come get it. Made us all evacuate the building, too.

The police took the jars out to the rifle range and shot them to detonate them. Wish I'd seen it.
 
2014-06-27 09:34:15 AM  

phamwaa: Take one football-sized lump of sodium. Drop it in a large beaker of water. Duck.RUN..!!!


FTFY

=)
 
2014-06-27 09:39:19 AM  
three tenants of chemistry: Label clearly. Measure twice. Eat elsewhere
 
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