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(MLive.com)   "I am Calquan from the Planet Zoltron, sent here by my father to smash police cruisers"   (mlive.com) divider line 69
    More: Dumbass  
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4093 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2014 at 1:19 AM (12 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-27 12:02:43 AM
I remember my first tab of LSD. Good times.
 
2014-06-27 01:12:32 AM
i.imgur.com
Zoltan!
 
2014-06-27 01:21:48 AM
don't let him combine with four other individuals, then you're in big trouble
 
2014-06-27 01:24:13 AM
hoomidea.com
 
2014-06-27 01:26:44 AM
Agents Mulder and Scully are investigating.
 
2014-06-27 01:27:29 AM
fake, fake, fake.  I don't mean to sound racist or anything, but I've been to Zoltron and they don't have dark skinned people there.  It's a red sun planet...duh!!
 
2014-06-27 01:27:56 AM
I for one WELCOME our new Overlords, and applaud their smashing of police cruisers.
 
2014-06-27 01:27:57 AM
i162.photobucket.com">
 
2014-06-27 01:29:16 AM
images.cdn.bigcartel.com
 
2014-06-27 01:30:39 AM
t3.gstatic.com
 
2014-06-27 01:39:39 AM
If you listen real carefully the 2nd cop is listening to Quiet Riot's "Bang your head" in his cruiser.  Seems appropriate.
 
2014-06-27 01:42:12 AM
Maybe the police were strangers from the Alps......
 
2014-06-27 01:53:52 AM

BuckTurgidson: [t3.gstatic.com image 311x162]


i think that's zoltar, not voltron, nice try
 
2014-06-27 02:01:10 AM
Brown said the man, later identified as Calquan Dion Burr, appeared to be "under the influence of mind-altering drugs."

Ya think?
 
2014-06-27 02:05:33 AM
Calquan, take me awaaaaay!

i1207.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-27 02:09:01 AM

some_beer_drinker: BuckTurgidson: [t3.gstatic.com image 311x162]

i think that's zoltar, not voltron, nice try


Well where do you think Zoltar is from?
 
2014-06-27 02:10:24 AM

some_beer_drinker: BuckTurgidson: [t3.gstatic.com image 311x162]

i think that's zoltar, not voltron, nice try


threecaster.com

Moltar?
 
2014-06-27 02:15:01 AM

some_beer_drinker: BuckTurgidson: [t3.gstatic.com image 311x162]

i think that's zoltar, not voltron, nice try


www.kitsune.addr.com?
 
2014-06-27 02:20:56 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-27 02:25:10 AM
soultrain.com
 
2014-06-27 02:25:12 AM
만의 특징적인 실루엣으로 독보적인 개성을 담아냅니다.독창적인 디자인은 활동적인 라이프스타일에 안성맞춤만의 특징적인 실루엣으로 독보
 
2014-06-27 02:25:28 AM
fogsmoviereviews.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-27 02:26:07 AM

BuckTurgidson: [soultrain.com image 850x531]


lol
 
2014-06-27 02:28:48 AM

ransack.: 만의 특징적인 실루엣으로 독보적인 개성을 담아냅니다.독창적인 디자인은 활동적인 라이프스타일에 안성맞춤만의 특징적인 실루엣으로 독보


Which translates to:

But, it's distinctive silhouette unique personality. the original design is perfect for an active lifestyle, but are a characteristic silhouette of poison

I'm assuming you are on the same drugs as our Zoltronian friend?
 
2014-06-27 02:30:40 AM
www.punkasspunk.com

www.punkasspunk.com

www.punkasspunk.com

 
2014-06-27 02:38:33 AM

danielscissorhands: ransack.: 만의 특징적인 실루엣으로 독보적인 개성을 담아냅니다.독창적인 디자인은 활동적인 라이프스타일에 안성맞춤만의 특징적인 실루엣으로 독보

Which translates to:

But, it's distinctive silhouette unique personality. the original design is perfect for an active lifestyle, but are a characteristic silhouette of poison

I'm assuming you are on the same drugs as our Zoltronian friend?


heavyeditorial.files.wordpress.com

 
2014-06-27 02:45:51 AM
img.fark.net

Wishes he had thought of this brilliant scheme, lays egg sullenly
 
2014-06-27 02:49:02 AM
I think people who have been Farkers for over 13 years should get free lifetime TF
 
2014-06-27 02:56:49 AM
It was the "Soul Train" one which finally got me. This thread has made the world a slightly better place.

/RIP Zoloft.
 
2014-06-27 02:59:43 AM

ransack.: I think people who have been Farkers for over 13 years should get free lifetime TF


I've been on Fark since early 2000. I'm pretty sure my original member number was only 4 digits. Went internet free from 2003-2006, forgot my login and password, and didn't re-register until 2008.

That said, there's not much value to TF. I've been gifted it a few times, and really, all the real action is on regular Fark.
 
2014-06-27 03:11:42 AM

ransack.: I think people who have been Farkers for over 13 years should get free lifetime TF


I agree wholeheartedly with this non-sequitur.
 
2014-06-27 03:15:41 AM

robohobo: ransack.: I think people who have been Farkers for over 13 years should get free lifetime TF

I've been on Fark since early 2000. I'm pretty sure my original member number was only 4 digits. Went internet free from 2003-2006, forgot my login and password, and didn't re-register until 2008.

That said, there's not much value to TF. I've been gifted it a few times, and really, all the real action is on regular Fark.


I have another account that is the same name as my current one but with no period at the end that was my original account and it has a lower number than the one I use now, but the password stopped working for some reason and it's linked to a Hotmail account and Hotmail no longer exists. Also, it has my real name and location in the public profile, so I have to be careful about what I say here because anybody who looks up ransack with no period will know my actual IRL identity. Which I am no longer comfortable with like I was 13 years ago. But it also forces me to be civil online because I can't do anything about it.

I've explained this to Fark staff several times over the years but they can't do anything but reset my password and notify a non-existant Hotmail account. So whatever. I guess you cant expect customer service for free. I'm Travis Levi Spaulding from Peru, Indiana. There you go. Also, I'm all crunked up.
 
2014-06-27 03:17:08 AM

GreenAdder: [i.imgur.com image 512x256]
Zoltan!


Was this guy looking for the Continium transfunctioner.
 
2014-06-27 03:40:14 AM
FTFA:  The witness said the man appeared to be "drunk or high and was talking about seeing blue orbits."

Blue Orbits is now the name of my new Wildstar guild.
 
2014-06-27 03:44:33 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-27 03:45:57 AM

ransack.: I've explained this to Fark staff several times over the years but they can't do anything but reset my password and notify a non-existant Hotmail account. So whatever. I guess you cant expect customer service for free. I'm Travis Levi Spaulding from Peru, Indiana. There you go. Also, I'm all crunked up.


I use my real name in my profile, too.  Charming Billy, at your service.
 
2014-06-27 03:49:33 AM

ransack.: robohobo: ransack.: I think people who have been Farkers for over 13 years should get free lifetime TF

I've been on Fark since early 2000. I'm pretty sure my original member number was only 4 digits. Went internet free from 2003-2006, forgot my login and password, and didn't re-register until 2008.

That said, there's not much value to TF. I've been gifted it a few times, and really, all the real action is on regular Fark.

I have another account that is the same name as my current one but with no period at the end that was my original account and it has a lower number than the one I use now, but the password stopped working for some reason and it's linked to a Hotmail account and Hotmail no longer exists. Also, it has my real name and location in the public profile, so I have to be careful about what I say here because anybody who looks up ransack with no period will know my actual IRL identity. Which I am no longer comfortable with like I was 13 years ago. But it also forces me to be civil online because I can't do anything about it.

I've explained this to Fark staff several times over the years but they can't do anything but reset my password and notify a non-existant Hotmail account. So whatever. I guess you cant expect customer service for free. I'm Travis Levi Spaulding from Peru, Indiana. There you go. Also, I'm all crunked up.


I can sort of see why they wouldn't do it.  There are probably a lot of old defunct IDs that people could fraudulently usurp.  I actually believe you, but some nefarious-minded could try it on another old ID.
 
2014-06-27 04:08:37 AM

GreenAdder: [i.imgur.com image 600x400]


Damn, you beat me to it! I see my services are no longer needed.
*gets your coffee before you call in the Planet Smasher on this thread*
 
2014-06-27 04:12:56 AM

fusillade762: ransack.: I think people who have been Farkers for over 13 years should get free lifetime TF

I agree wholeheartedly with this non-sequitur.


We are amongst the first generation of FarkTeens
 
2014-06-27 04:14:36 AM

BuckTurgidson: [t3.gstatic.com image 311x162]


Great minds think alike?

/didn't see your post b4
 
2014-06-27 04:18:44 AM
Perhaps a little off topic...

content8.flixster.com

/Zuul
 
2014-06-27 04:42:06 AM

danielscissorhands: Perhaps a little off topic...



/Zuul


Are you the Gate Keeper?
 
2014-06-27 04:45:43 AM

ransack.: danielscissorhands: Perhaps a little off topic...

/Zuul

Are you the Gate Keeper?


Yes Travis, that's me. ;)
 
2014-06-27 04:47:36 AM
And drive the officers of the law before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.
 
2014-06-27 04:49:05 AM

danielscissorhands: Perhaps a little off topic...

[content8.flixster.com image 500x328]

/Zuul


ps: Not having seen the Ghostbusters movies in 30 years, I didn't realize that what I should have replied with was:

No, I am the Keymaster.

/just watched a scene from Ghostbusters 2
 
2014-06-27 05:05:03 AM

danielscissorhands: ransack.: danielscissorhands: Perhaps a little off topic...

/Zuul

Are you the Gate Keeper?

Yes Travis, that's me. ;)


Wow that's actually very strange seeing somebody use that word. Travis is one of those names that sounds common but when you're named that you realize it isn't really.

It would have been more jarring if you'd used Levi, though. My dad's name is also Travis so only people who are my family or knew me before I graduated high school ever call me Levi.

My mom has called me Watermelon for like 20 years. It's a reference to an obscure and awesome Jean Shepard movie called "Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss". We also had like three or four cats named Fuzzhead when I was a kid.

I'm pretty buzzed, this Angry Orchard hard cider is pretty good but it's a little too sweet and syrupy for my tastes. Woodchuck cider is better I think. This weed I got is called "Royal Alaskan Thunderfark"
 
2014-06-27 05:28:01 AM
That guy pulled a pretty good move, though.  From inside the cruiser it looked Neo was after them.
 
2014-06-27 05:47:10 AM

ransack.: danielscissorhands: ransack.: danielscissorhands: Perhaps a little off topic...

/Zuul

Are you the Gate Keeper?

Yes Travis, that's me. ;)

Wow that's actually very strange seeing somebody use that word. Travis is one of those names that sounds common but when you're named that you realize it isn't really.

It would have been more jarring if you'd used Levi, though. My dad's name is also Travis so only people who are my family or knew me before I graduated high school ever call me Levi.

My mom has called me Watermelon for like 20 years. It's a reference to an obscure and awesome Jean Shepard movie called "Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss". We also had like three or four cats named Fuzzhead when I was a kid.

I'm pretty buzzed, this Angry Orchard hard cider is pretty good but it's a little too sweet and syrupy for my tastes. Woodchuck cider is better I think. This weed I got is called "Royal Alaskan Thunderfark"



I might check out that movie. It's here, btw. 

I haven't tried the ciders you mentioned, but I like Sir Perry Pear, Pear Cider. Ever tried that?

I'm not vegetarian but Woodchuck cider sounds gross (jk).

I stopped smoking weed, because sometimes it was making me more stressed out instead of less stressed out.
 
2014-06-27 06:04:35 AM

danielscissorhands: ransack.: danielscissorhands: ransack.: danielscissorhands: Perhaps a little off topic...

/Zuul

Are you the Gate Keeper?

Yes Travis, that's me. ;)

Wow that's actually very strange seeing somebody use that word. Travis is one of those names that sounds common but when you're named that you realize it isn't really.

It would have been more jarring if you'd used Levi, though. My dad's name is also Travis so only people who are my family or knew me before I graduated high school ever call me Levi.

My mom has called me Watermelon for like 20 years. It's a reference to an obscure and awesome Jean Shepard movie called "Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss". We also had like three or four cats named Fuzzhead when I was a kid.

I'm pretty buzzed, this Angry Orchard hard cider is pretty good but it's a little too sweet and syrupy for my tastes. Woodchuck cider is better I think. This weed I got is called "Royal Alaskan Thunderfark"


I might check out that movie. It's here, btw. 

I haven't tried the ciders you mentioned, but I like Sir Perry Pear, Pear Cider. Ever tried that?

I'm not vegetarian but Woodchuck cider sounds gross (jk).

I stopped smoking weed, because sometimes it was making me more stressed out instead of less stressed out.


I have not tried that but I will be on the lookout for it. I understand what you mean about weed, too, I get anxiety issues once in a while myself but I get a much more generally irate asshole-ish mood without it and unbiased feedback from other humans over the past decade has led me to believe that frequent use of cannabis makes me an objectively more pleasant and functional dude.
Baked goods made with cannabis butter are a good way to smooth out the curve and reduce anxiety symptoms, as long as you are careful about your dosage. I've never experienced an oral cannabis OD but I've seen a few people do it and they did not look like they were having any kind of fun at all.
 
2014-06-27 06:27:13 AM
i11.photobucket.com

/Not amused
 
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