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(Salon)   What do you get when you mix the sovereign citizen movement and veganism? Hint: It's not custody of your child   ( salon.com) divider line
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7761 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jun 2014 at 11:15 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-26 10:05:06 PM  
It may seem harsh, but she clearly has no beef there.
 
2014-06-26 10:12:14 PM  
This is how you should write a good lead (or "lede" for you JRN majors). See how it gets right into the meat of the story?
 
2014-06-26 10:13:09 PM  
If you're so farking gone into veganism that you consider breast milk unacceptable, then you need your child taken away from you.  Child hunger isn't a political statement, it's idiocy.  The kid doesn't care.
 
2014-06-26 10:42:52 PM  
Politics of the linked article aside, this is one of my favorite headlines in a long time.
 
2014-06-26 11:16:36 PM  
Crazy be crazy.
 
2014-06-26 11:18:40 PM  
What kind of boot-licking, FARKING idiot would give their 12-day old child fresh water?
 
2014-06-26 11:22:09 PM  

unlikely: Politics of the linked article aside, this is one of my favorite headlines in a long time.


It's Salon, sanity took its leave of that place *years* ago.
 
2014-06-26 11:24:28 PM  
Look, you can try and survive on air and bee pollen for all I care, but your kids should get the nutrition they need until they're old enough to decide for themselves.
 
2014-06-26 11:27:52 PM  
I'm currently fighting my ex-wife to get 7% more custody of the kids (to make it an even 50/50 split).  She has gone vegan and gluten free since the divorce, and my kids absolutely hate her meals.  All they want to do is come to my house to eat burgers and sandwiches.  We'll see what the court thinks, unless I go broke paying all the legal fees in the meantime.
 
2014-06-26 11:29:37 PM  

Lsherm: If you're so farking gone into veganism that you consider breast milk unacceptable, then you need your child taken away from you.  Child hunger isn't a political statement, it's idiocy.  The kid doesn't care.


If she doesn't want to drink the milk of animals that is one thing. But does she think a goat that nurses its offspring is being oppressed? How does that work?  He would rather keep to her ridiculous religion over provide for her child.
 
2014-06-26 11:31:20 PM  
I really think they just should have let this kid die.  It's one less person with a clipboard that I'd have to ignore outside of Trader Joe's.
 
2014-06-26 11:32:05 PM  

Marshall Willenholly: I'm currently fighting my ex-wife to get 7% more custody of the kids (to make it an even 50/50 split).  She has gone vegan and gluten free since the divorce, and my kids absolutely hate her meals.  All they want to do is come to my house to eat burgers and sandwiches.  We'll see what the court thinks, unless I go broke paying all the legal fees in the meantime.


On the upside... half vegan, half normal sounds like a pretty healthy diet.
 
2014-06-26 11:32:52 PM  

Lsherm: If you're so farking gone into veganism that you consider breast milk unacceptable, then you need your child taken away from you.  Child hunger isn't a political statement, it's idiocy.  The kid doesn't care.


Goddammit, do I hate to agree with you, but yeah, "this".
 
2014-06-26 11:34:02 PM  

Marshall Willenholly: I'm currently fighting my ex-wife to get 7% more custody of the kids (to make it an even 50/50 split).  She has gone vegan and gluten free since the divorce, and my kids absolutely hate her meals.  All they want to do is come to my house to eat burgers and sandwiches.  We'll see what the court thinks, unless I go broke paying all the legal fees in the meantime.


My ex went off meat after we split to. She started sleeping with women.


/not hot ones
 
2014-06-26 11:37:36 PM  
While this sovereign citizen shiat is stupid, this story has nothing to do with it.
 
2014-06-26 11:41:53 PM  
my kid's too skinny

"here, have another donut!"

nom nom nom

still too skinny
 
2014-06-26 11:47:09 PM  

hardinparamedic: What kind of boot-licking, FARKING idiot would give their 12-day old child fresh water?


You mean like from a toilet?
 
2014-06-26 11:50:05 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Lsherm: If you're so farking gone into veganism that you consider breast milk unacceptable, then you need your child taken away from you.  Child hunger isn't a political statement, it's idiocy.  The kid doesn't care.

Goddammit, do I hate to agree with you, but yeah, "this".


I don't hate to agree with him.  Truth stands by itself.  It matters not one whit whether told by a scholar, or the village idiot.
 
2014-06-26 11:51:20 PM  

Marshall Willenholly: She has gone vegan and gluten free


My wife does gluten free as she is a Caeliac (rash and doubled over in pain if she gets any gluten also she had a small colon biopsy and blood tests and such from a proper doctor) but I don't complain and neither do the kids because it means we get to eat a crapton of mexican food (corn instead of flour and such). Also my wife likes meat :)
 
2014-06-26 11:52:58 PM  

fusillade762: While this sovereign citizen shiat is stupid, this story has nothing to do with it.


Didn't you RTFA? The coont talks about how she didn't think she needed to acknowledge the cops.
 
2014-06-26 11:53:33 PM  
static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-06-26 11:55:08 PM  
We are hunters and gatherers.  We didn't spin an evolutionary cocoon and throw off the vestiges off our previous animal lineages to emerge as the glowing, beautiful butterfly that is carried, soaring ever higher on the winds of the dawn of a new age.  Your DNA wants pieces of other creatures shoved in your pie hole and if that creature happened to be eating some cilantro or basil when you happened upon them, so be it.
 
2014-06-26 11:56:32 PM  

shanrick: hardinparamedic: What kind of boot-licking, FARKING idiot would give their 12-day old child fresh water?

You mean like from a toilet?


Jebus!  Just give the kid Brawndo already, will ya?
 
2014-06-26 11:59:27 PM  

Wool E Mammoth: Jebus!  Just give the kid Brawndo already, will ya?


shanrick: You mean like from a toilet?


Joking aside, you do realize that giving a newborn or infant under 6 months fresh water from the tap or from a distilled source will cause them to become rapidly hyponatremic, dehydrated, and will kill them right?
 
2014-06-26 11:59:38 PM  
There is a reason we have teeth that rend meat and the digestive juices to turn that succulent ribeye into nourishment.
 
2014-06-27 12:00:14 AM  

Wool E Mammoth: shanrick: hardinparamedic: What kind of boot-licking, FARKING idiot would give their 12-day old child fresh water?

You mean like from a toilet?

Jebus!  Just give the kid Brawndo already, will ya?


I could really stand to have my thirst mutilated.
 
2014-06-27 12:01:44 AM  

fusillade762: While this sovereign citizen shiat is stupid, this story has nothing to do with it.

That police had to forcibly enter the 23-year-old Markham's home because she "told police she didn't think she had to answer or acknowledge police presence," and that a new mother would even contemplate caring for her child based on "a religion-based treatment"


Like Welfare Farmer Cliven Bundy, she believes all she has to answer to is the higher authority of God, which is pretty much the definition of a Sovereign Citizen.
 
2014-06-27 12:05:22 AM  

tzzhc4: fusillade762: While this sovereign citizen shiat is stupid, this story has nothing to do with it.

Didn't you RTFA? The coont talks about how she didn't think she needed to acknowledge the cops.


What does that have to do with being a "sovereign citizen"? She doesn't have to acknowledge the cops when she's in her own home. She can let them stand at the door and watch them pound sand. Of course, they can break down her door and come in but in that case they better have a warrant or some exception to the 4A.

Sovereign citizens think the LAW doesn't have to be obeyed. It has nothing to do with the police, per se.
 
2014-06-27 12:06:27 AM  
Your headline made me laugh, Subby
 
2014-06-27 12:06:46 AM  
For anyone who wants to know the actual evolutionary history behind the homo sapien diet (and why the "paleo" diet is a crock), I highly recommend watching the "Why Do We Cook?" episode of It's Okay To Be Smart.

/PBS Digital Studios is awesome
//sovereign citizens are stupid
 
2014-06-27 12:06:46 AM  
I don't understand. There can't be anything more natural, organic and just plain good then breast milk. It doesn't hurt any precious animals and for a 12 day old baby, nothing could be better. So what do Vegans have it breast milk? It's just another internet informed idiot who think s he knows better then ddoctos.
 
2014-06-27 12:12:14 AM  

Active introvert: I don't understand. There can't be anything more natural, organic and just plain good then breast milk. It doesn't hurt any precious animals and for a 12 day old baby, nothing could be better. So what do Vegans have it breast milk? It's just another internet informed idiot who think s he knows better then ddoctos.


The vast majority of vegans 100% support breastfeeding, just not consuming the milk of domesticated animals.  Of course, every so often you get an idiot like this woman who just doesn't get it (or is using veganism as a cover to try to kill her kid), which makes for a sensational news story.

/not a vegan
 
2014-06-27 12:18:13 AM  
"It's time to evolve, go Vegan!"

"Shhhhhhh" ~ Charles Darwin
 
2014-06-27 12:23:50 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Marshall Willenholly: I'm currently fighting my ex-wife to get 7% more custody of the kids (to make it an even 50/50 split).  She has gone vegan and gluten free since the divorce, and my kids absolutely hate her meals.  All they want to do is come to my house to eat burgers and sandwiches.  We'll see what the court thinks, unless I go broke paying all the legal fees in the meantime.

On the upside... half vegan, half normal sounds like a pretty healthy diet.


As someone who's dated a vegan, vegan cooking can be good.  Not amazing, at least not for people like myself who really enjoy being omnivores, but I've had some vegan dishes that were rather satisfying.  Gluten-free, on the other hand... I have only had one thing that was good and gluten-free: a special kind of chocolate cake.  Apparently they replaced the gluten with, I dunno, more chocolate or something.  I'm not sure.  That cake was DENSE.  If you dropped a slice of it on the cat's head it would kill it.  Beyond that though, anything that is special made to be gluten free (that isn't naturally, like, say, meat) has been uniformly bland and awful in my experience.

So take the bland-tilting of gluten-free, then make it even more bland by adding vegan to the mix so about 75% of the tasty gluten-free things out there are off limits.  At that point you may as well be feeding your children a flavorless nutrient-rich sludge.  Yeah, it might be healthy.  So's never drinking, smoking, eating anything sugary or fatty, and quite a few other things that give life meaning.  I think any physical health gains the kids have received are directly countered by losses in psychological and emotional health, namely enjoyment of life.  Food's not just for survival, people.

By the way, I'm not saying it's impossible to make gluten-free vegan dishes which are actually good, but the required cooking skill level is pretty high.  Statistically speaking, I'd bet Marshall's ex does not have the necessary skill levels.
 
2014-06-27 12:31:49 AM  
A child suffering from malnourishment in a first world country is the result of the complete failure of the education system.
 
2014-06-27 12:33:08 AM  

yukichigai: As someone who's dated a vegan, vegan cooking can be good.  Not amazing, at least not for people like myself who really enjoy being omnivores, but I've had some vegan dishes that were rather satisfying.  Gluten-free, on the other hand... I have only had one thing that was good and gluten-free: a special kind of chocolate cake.  Apparently they replaced the gluten with, I dunno, more chocolate or something.  I'm not sure.  That cake was DENSE.  If you dropped a slice of it on the cat's head it would kill it.  Beyond that though, anything that is special made to be gluten free (that isn't naturally, like, say, meat) has been uniformly bland and awful in my experience.


The best gluten-free cake recipe I've ever come across was advertised as a "flourless chocolate cake", but was more of a chocolate souffle than anything else.  It was extremely good, but not vegan (it had lots of eggs for structure), and souffles have a well-deserved reputation for being very easy to screw up.
 
2014-06-27 12:33:26 AM  
There are soy-based formulas for babies who are allergic to cows' milk, so even if you're a complete nut who thinks breastfeeding your child is oppressive, you can still feed them. Formula's expensive though -- I wonder if this woman thought that soy milk would be just as good because hey, they're both made of soy, right!
 
2014-06-27 12:34:08 AM  

yukichigai: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Marshall Willenholly: I'm currently fighting my ex-wife to get 7% more custody of the kids (to make it an even 50/50 split).  She has gone vegan and gluten free since the divorce, and my kids absolutely hate her meals.  All they want to do is come to my house to eat burgers and sandwiches.  We'll see what the court thinks, unless I go broke paying all the legal fees in the meantime.

On the upside... half vegan, half normal sounds like a pretty healthy diet.

As someone who's dated a vegan, vegan cooking can be good.  Not amazing, at least not for people like myself who really enjoy being omnivores, but I've had some vegan dishes that were rather satisfying.  Gluten-free, on the other hand... I have only had one thing that was good and gluten-free: a special kind of chocolate cake.  Apparently they replaced the gluten with, I dunno, more chocolate or something.  I'm not sure.  That cake was DENSE.  If you dropped a slice of it on the cat's head it would kill it.  Beyond that though, anything that is special made to be gluten free (that isn't naturally, like, say, meat) has been uniformly bland and awful in my experience.

So take the bland-tilting of gluten-free, then make it even more bland by adding vegan to the mix so about 75% of the tasty gluten-free things out there are off limits.  At that point you may as well be feeding your children a flavorless nutrient-rich sludge.  Yeah, it might be healthy.  So's never drinking, smoking, eating anything sugary or fatty, and quite a few other things that give life meaning.  I think any physical health gains the kids have received are directly countered by losses in psychological and emotional health, namely enjoyment of life.  Food's not just for survival, people.

By the way, I'm not saying it's impossible to make gluten-free vegan dishes which are actually good, but the required cooking skill level is pretty high.  Statistically speaking, I'd bet Marshall's ex does not have the necessary skill l ...


I worked at a health camp last summer and the gluten free stuff was god awful, especially the pasta. One counselor was both gluten free and vegan and I couldn't imagine living life like that.

BTW, flourless chocolate cake is basically a baked chocolate pudding
 
2014-06-27 12:39:23 AM  

hardinparamedic: Wool E Mammoth: Jebus!  Just give the kid Brawndo already, will ya?

shanrick: You mean like from a toilet?

Joking aside, you do realize that giving a newborn or infant under 6 months fresh water from the tap or from a distilled source will cause them to become rapidly hyponatremic, dehydrated, and will kill them right?


That's BS. That's a worst case scenario if they chug a bunch of water. Happens to people in marathons sometimes as well. Babies don't just up and die if you give them water.
 
2014-06-27 12:44:35 AM  

Active introvert: I don't understand. There can't be anything more natural, organic and just plain good then breast milk. It doesn't hurt any precious animals and for a 12 day old baby, nothing could be better. So what do Vegans have it breast milk? It's just another internet informed idiot who think s he knows better then ddoctos.


Not that I am defending this idiot in any way - some women can't breastfeed for various reasons. I know if I were to spawn (a physical impossibility now thank Christ), I would be skeeved way the hell out by the process of feeding that way.

/shudder
//yes I'm weird, what of it
 
2014-06-27 12:46:50 AM  

Russ1642: A child suffering from malnourishment in a first world country is the result of the complete failure of the education system.


Education cannot cure wilful ignorance.
 
2014-06-27 12:47:51 AM  

ladyfortuna: I know if I were to spawn (a physical impossibility now thank Christ), I would be skeeved way the hell out by the process of feeding that way.


"It's like one day discovering you can get bacon out of your elbow" -- Murphy Brown.
 
2014-06-27 12:47:56 AM  
My fiancee has celiac, so she medically has to eat a gluten-free diet. Adding to that, she's also vegan (non-PETA, and will cook meat for me. She'll also occasionally indulge in dairy or egg), while I'm a meat-oriented omnivore.

We've found some wonderful compromise dishes in Ethiopian food and stir-fried dishes, so the vegan/GF diet doesn't have to mean that food is bland or weird. It means we don't eat out together very often, but I can put together a rice-noodle and tofu dish that kicks butt.

/Shabu shabu is great, too
//I have a freezer full of dead animal
///proteinaceous slashies
 
2014-06-27 12:51:18 AM  

Lenny_da_Hog: ladyfortuna: I know if I were to spawn (a physical impossibility now thank Christ), I would be skeeved way the hell out by the process of feeding that way.

"It's like one day discovering you can get bacon out of your elbow" -- Murphy Brown.


Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww w wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww etc
 
2014-06-27 12:55:11 AM  
Mark my words....some day there will be a syndrome caused by a lack of guar gum in a childs diet!

And don't forget the daily minimum children's requirement for shellac. They must get at LEAST three M&Ms per day or the kids exoskeleton will not harden properly.
 
2014-06-27 12:58:19 AM  

unlikely: Politics of the linked article aside, this is one of my favorite headlines in a long time.


It only adds to the brilliance. Took a shiatty article on the worst website and made a fantastic headline.
 
2014-06-27 01:02:01 AM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: Mark my words....some day there will be a syndrome caused by a lack of guar gum in a childs diet!

And don't forget the daily minimum children's requirement for shellac. They must get at LEAST three M&Ms per day or the kids exoskeleton will not harden properly.


So that's why my exoskeleton is so soft. Damn it.
 
2014-06-27 01:02:03 AM  

hardinparamedic: Wool E Mammoth: Jebus!  Just give the kid Brawndo already, will ya?

shanrick: You mean like from a toilet?

Joking aside, you do realize that giving a newborn or infant under 6 months fresh water from the tap or from a distilled source will cause them to become rapidly hyponatremic, dehydrated, and will kill them right?


So, then what do you put in their water dish?

ladyfortuna: Active introvert: I don't understand. There can't be anything more natural, organic and just plain good then breast milk. It doesn't hurt any precious animals and for a 12 day old baby, nothing could be better. So what do Vegans have it breast milk? It's just another internet informed idiot who think s he knows better then ddoctos.

Not that I am defending this idiot in any way - some women can't breastfeed for various reasons. I know if I were to spawn (a physical impossibility now thank Christ), I would be skeeved way the hell out by the process of feeding that way.

/shudder
//yes I'm weird, what of it


That's what the hormones are for.  They take control of your mind and turn you into a cow.
 
2014-06-27 01:02:03 AM  
Veganism. Cool idea if you can afford it.
Remember all the Hindi who went blind when relocated to Britain? Turns out their organic flour was full of meal worms.
I live in Nebraska and although I admire the no meat a dairy crowd I always ask wtf they eat.
You can be a slavish vegan or veggie muncher, but you cannot be those and biatch about oil.
All the supplements you have to take come from somewhere and the organic label just means no one has bothered to qualify the pesticides that are being used on the food you think is healthy.
All y'all hurt the planet more than the average American chowing beef and peanut fried potatoes.
 
2014-06-27 01:06:26 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
/oblig
 
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