If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   Luis Suarez banned from the remainder of the World Cup and soccer in general for four months, says it's eating him up   (cnn.com) divider line 104
    More: Fail  
•       •       •

925 clicks; posted to Sports » on 26 Jun 2014 at 5:21 PM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-06-26 04:10:26 PM
I just can't understand why one of his "victims" hasn't flattened the guy yet.  Some stuff, you just can't tolerate.   In fact, an even better punishment would be to give Uruguay a choice between going with 10, or let him play with the knowledge no fouls will be called for any opponent actions against him.
 
2014-06-26 05:24:28 PM

Paul Baumer: I just can't understand why one of his "victims" hasn't flattened the guy yet.


Because it's always the retaliating victim that gets caught and punished.  Didn't you ever go to school?
 
2014-06-26 05:28:44 PM
Seems kind of lite for such a repeat offender.
 
2014-06-26 05:32:28 PM

Paul Baumer: I just can't understand why one of his "victims" hasn't flattened the guy yet.  Some stuff, you just can't tolerate.   In fact, an even better punishment would be to give Uruguay a choice between going with 10, or let him play with the knowledge no fouls will be called for any opponent actions against him.


I think the reason why nobody has knocked him out yet is that when it happens they are so shocked and surprised at it that they are confused long enough for somebody else to step in before they have a chance to react. If you think about it, that is the last thing that you would imagine from a grown person.
 
2014-06-26 05:37:03 PM
angryjogger.com
 
2014-06-26 05:46:06 PM

buckeyebrain: Paul Baumer: I just can't understand why one of his "victims" hasn't flattened the guy yet.

Because it's always the retaliating victim that gets caught and punished.  Didn't you ever go to school?


cause it's a freaking cheap shot / sucker punch kind of thing & the dude looks pretty farking strong.

& what that guy said

Orgasmatron138: Seems kind of lite for such a repeat offender.


also this

wanted to post grumpycat.jpg but this isn't "good" .... it's mediocre at best
 
2014-06-26 05:50:27 PM
This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.
 
2014-06-26 05:57:15 PM
Apparently Barcelona are still keen on him. Keen enough to offer Alexis Sanchez and maybe Pedro as makeweight for a deal. If I were in charge of Liverpool, I'd do it right away.
 
2014-06-26 05:59:07 PM

Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.


Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?
 
2014-06-26 06:00:06 PM

Paul Baumer: I just can't understand why one of his "victims" hasn't flattened the guy yet.


Because the automatic response in soccer is to fall down screaming. His victim fell down screaming, and then Suarez grabbed his mouth and fell down screaming, hoping to fool the ref into thinking the other guy smashed his shoulder into his face.
 
2014-06-26 06:00:50 PM
 "11 men went on to the pitch that day....10 men came off. It was June the 24th..2014. But..we delivered the ball."
 
2014-06-26 06:02:25 PM
Paging Mike Tyson...
 
2014-06-26 06:06:21 PM

Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.


He's not gonna give you a hickey.
 
2014-06-26 06:08:04 PM

ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?


What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.
 
2014-06-26 06:10:38 PM

Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.


-9000/1000000000000000000000000000
 
2014-06-26 06:12:20 PM
Paging Mike Tyson...

Suatez & Tyson should open a restaurant. Call it Head & Shoulders.
 
2014-06-26 06:14:00 PM

shanteyman: Paging Mike Tyson...

Suatez & Tyson should open a restaurant. Call it Head & Shoulders.


Where the hell is the 'Groan' button?
 
2014-06-26 06:19:09 PM
In other news, somebody made a Luis Suarez-based Pac-Man clone.
 
2014-06-26 06:20:16 PM
How does one not get a lifetime ban for THREEE biting episodes?

Oh, right... soccer.
 
2014-06-26 06:21:22 PM

Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.


This is weird. What are you even trying to do here?
 
2014-06-26 06:26:04 PM
You can easily spot Suarez on the pitch: it's the player holding a bottle of A1 Sauce.
 
2014-06-26 06:28:57 PM
He was on the cuspid of greatness.

He should brace himself for punishment.

He has the best legal team on retainer

He does his best work on the mouth of the goal

I don't think he really understands how serious this is.  In other words, I don't think he realizes the....wait for it.....cavity of the situation

FIFA announced they will commemorate Suarez' accomplishment by giving him a trophy or memento of sorts.  That's right.  They're going to give him a.....wait for it....plaque.


In closing, teeth.
 
2014-06-26 06:29:06 PM

Cheesehead_Dave: Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.

This is weird. What are you even trying to do here?


Look at his name. Where were you four years ago?
 
2014-06-26 06:30:39 PM

skinink: You can easily spot Suarez on the pitch: it's the player holding a bottle of A1 Sauce.


And a napkin hanging out of the front of his jersey.
 
2014-06-26 06:42:11 PM

SkittlesAreYum: Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.

-9000/1000000000000000000000000000


Google 'Koman Coulibaly' and youo'll see why his original post was humorous.
 
2014-06-26 06:43:30 PM

Cheesehead_Dave: Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.

This is weird. What are you even trying to do here?


He calls it the way he sees it, and he always sees it right!
 
2014-06-26 06:53:50 PM

Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-06-26 06:54:49 PM
Come on, it's the Italian player's fault, he smelled delicious
 
2014-06-26 06:55:26 PM

ongbok: skinink: You can easily spot Suarez on the pitch: it's the player holding a bottle of A1 Sauce.

And a napkin hanging out of the front of his jersey.


And instead of a water bottle he has a nice bottle of chianti.
 
2014-06-26 07:01:48 PM

Robo Beat: In other news, somebody made a Luis Suarez-based Pac-Man clone.


I found a glitch in this game.  Get a 'sunglasses' but then DON'T chomp down on the 'refs' and their time spent being 'blue' is infinite.
 
2014-06-26 07:02:04 PM

mjohnson71: Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.

[obvioustrolli 225x224]



How so?  During his career Suarez has received zero cards and zero fouls for biting.
 
2014-06-26 07:05:32 PM

SkittlesAreYum: Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.

-9000/1000000000000000000000000000


yeah weak effort.  way too transparent.  really poor show.
 
2014-06-26 07:09:58 PM

Orgasmatron138: Seems kind of lite for such a repeat offender.


It is.  I was thinking 20 games, if not the full 2 years.  Hit him where it hurts, his pocketbook.  Obviously he's learned nothing from his little vacations in the past.  Just more evidence that FIFA is a corrupt joke, just another corporation trying to milk every cent.  Heaven forbid a star gets punished appropriately, that might drive away attendance!
 
2014-06-26 07:10:08 PM

Koman Coulibaly: mjohnson71: Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.

[obvioustrolli 225x224]


How so?  During his career Suarez has received zero cards and zero fouls for biting.


And all of these are imaginary?

http://www.tsmplug.com/top-10/luis-suarez-scandals-all-controversies /

lh6.googleusercontent.com

lh6.googleusercontent.com
 
2014-06-26 07:11:46 PM

Paul Baumer: I just can't understand why one of his "victims" hasn't flattened the guy yet.  Some stuff, you just can't tolerate.   In fact, an even better punishment would be to give Uruguay a choice between going with 10, or let him play with the knowledge no fouls will be called for any opponent actions against him.


If I were bitten in a soccer match, I'd sure *want* to level the guy.  But in the end, that would hurt my team, as I'd most likely be given a yellow or red card.

You see it in baseball all the time.  One guy gets a head of steam and plunks a batter.  Next inning, the opposing pitcher plunks someone in retaliation.  End result- both pitchers are hitting the showers.  That's not necessarily good for either team.
 
2014-06-26 07:14:29 PM

Princip's Sandwich: Apparently Barcelona are still keen on him. Keen enough to offer Alexis Sanchez and maybe Pedro as makeweight for a deal. If I were in charge of Liverpool, I'd do it right away.


I read something today saying there's already an agreement for Sanchez to go to Liverpool (which if true, I'd love it).
 
2014-06-26 07:19:32 PM

buckeyebrain: Robo Beat: In other news, somebody made a Luis Suarez-based Pac-Man clone.

I found a glitch in this game.  Get a 'sunglasses' but then DON'T chomp down on the 'refs' and their time spent being 'blue' is infinite.


Saw that too....
 
2014-06-26 07:22:46 PM
Maybe he is part zombie and when he gets really excited he can't suppress his urges for human flesh like he normally can.
 
2014-06-26 07:24:11 PM

Trocadero: Look at his name. Where were you four years ago


These just get funnier the further away we get and people forget who that farkstick was.
 
2014-06-26 07:24:15 PM

L Ron Hubbard's Last Fart: SkittlesAreYum: Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.

-9000/1000000000000000000000000000

Google 'Koman Coulibaly' and youo'll see why his original post was humorous.


ooooh.

Wow. Soccer humor is even lamer than soccer.
 
2014-06-26 07:24:41 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-26 07:27:58 PM

mikaloyd: [img.fark.net image 395x408]


I am intrigued and disturbed by this .gif
 
2014-06-26 07:38:57 PM

downstairs: Paul Baumer: I just can't understand why one of his "victims" hasn't flattened the guy yet.  Some stuff, you just can't tolerate.   In fact, an even better punishment would be to give Uruguay a choice between going with 10, or let him play with the knowledge no fouls will be called for any opponent actions against him.

If I were bitten in a soccer match, I'd sure *want* to level the guy.  But in the end, that would hurt my team, as I'd most likely be given a yellow or red card.

You see it in baseball all the time.  One guy gets a head of steam and plunks a batter.  Next inning, the opposing pitcher plunks someone in retaliation.  End result- both pitchers are hitting the showers.  That's not necessarily good for either team.


On the other hand, at some point a coach is just going to say "fark it", and tell his players they are free to lay into him if he tries it again.  And then some guy is either going to put an elbow through his teeth, or a foot through his face.  Because if FIFA is bound and determined not to protect the other players, someone will decide losing a friendly is well worth the 9 game suspension.

/And let's be honest, if this was Joe Schmoe midfielder, FIFA would make the opening ceremonies of the next match hanging the guy from the crossbar until he died.
//But the money player gets a nice rest before gearing up for the next qualifying run.
 
2014-06-26 07:50:27 PM
Should have been a double red.  Suarez for the bite and his dinner companion for the elbow.  And yeah, this is much too light for a third strike.
 
2014-06-26 08:15:31 PM

Cheesehead_Dave: Koman Coulibaly: ClavellBCMI: Koman Coulibaly: This seems exceedingly harsh to me. Suarez did nothing warranting a penalty, let alone further punishment.

Unlike the two other times he went Mike Tyson on someone?

What two other times?  He has never once been penalized by an official for biting an opponent. That's good enough for me and should be good enough for you.

This is weird. What are you even trying to do here?


Here's a hint.
 
2014-06-26 08:16:57 PM
On the other hand, I hear some of the food they serve on those Uruguayan Air flights can be a little gross...
 
2014-06-26 08:28:30 PM

Orgasmatron138: Seems kind of lite for such a repeat offender.


He's banned from International play for 9 official matches, which is going to seriously cut into Uruguay's Copa America campaign in 2015, and likely doom them to elimination in this tournament.  So he's missing those 9 games, and an additional 13 or so (I think that's the number I saw) with Liverpool.  So he's essentially getting 20+ games ban, plus when he does come back it's likely going to take him a few weeks to get into the team and into game shape, so he'll likely miss 4 or 5 more games.

I think they should have banned him from international competition for two years, plus club play until January 2015.
 
2014-06-26 08:41:15 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2014-06-26 08:50:34 PM

ongbok: Maybe he is part zombie and when he gets really excited he can't suppress his urges for human flesh like he normally can.


On the upside, a four-month ban gets Bitey McDracula back in the air just in time for Hallowe'en, so there's that.
 
2014-06-26 08:52:51 PM
You think the troll is this thread is bad, you should see the denial that the Uruguay people are dishing out in all of this. To a lot of them, it seems that this is all a conspiracy to get Uruguay out of the World Cup, and that he did nothin wrong at all.
 
Displayed 50 of 104 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report