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(Gawker)   Man is attacked by a scorpion when he reached for a banana at Wal-Mart. In related news, Klaus Meine is working at Wal-Mart, and apparently he has banana-related anger management issues   (gawker.com) divider line 31
    More: Weird, KDKA  
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1970 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jun 2014 at 11:27 AM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-26 09:15:02 AM  
It's just a scorpion. Yeah, they're pretty much the hybrid of a wasp and a spider, and yeah, it hurts like a bastard to get stung, but they're really no big deal.
 
2014-06-26 09:26:11 AM  
Maybe he had a blackout.
 
2014-06-26 09:57:11 AM  
static.guim.co.uk

"So close..."
 
2014-06-26 10:21:06 AM  
He should have known there was trouble when he heard "Get over here!"
 
2014-06-26 10:37:10 AM  
Well, that's the thing we call THE ZOO.
 
2014-06-26 11:31:03 AM  
i59.tinypic.com

Has never heard of this kind of thing happening.
 
2014-06-26 11:34:12 AM  
If only he had a pointed stick.
 
2014-06-26 11:34:55 AM  
Would it have been better to have been a Yellow Butterfly?
 
2014-06-26 11:35:20 AM  
stream1.gifsoup.com

Oblig.
 
2014-06-26 11:36:10 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

"So close..."


Well, they had already hidden the deadly black tarantula, so they'd likely overlooked the scorpion.
 
2014-06-26 11:39:06 AM  

kling_klang_bed: [stream1.gifsoup.com image 320x203]

Oblig.


I just bought the newest Mortal Kombat on steam sale for $5 the other day purely for nostalgia and the fact that I want to hear Scorpion say "GET OVER HERE!".  That is worth $5 to me.  And maybe a babality or two.
 
2014-06-26 11:39:10 AM  
...and the little bugger was heard to say,

"HERE I AM"
 
2014-06-26 11:40:52 AM  

static.giantbomb.com


You'd be cranky too if people were grabbing you when you went to pick up your dry cleaning.

 
2014-06-26 11:42:09 AM  
CSB:
I (along with 4-5 others) killed a scorpion right outside our dorm rooms in Israel. Little yellow thing, like Les Stroud has eaten on more than one occasion.

They are FAST farkers - far faster than spiders, and faster than 18 year old city-boys.

// protip: DO NOT step on a scorpion unless a) you're wearing thick ankle guards (hi-tops, work boots, 2 pairs of hockey socks, etc) or b) you want to risk getting stung
// we put a cup over it, then crushed the cup
 
2014-06-26 11:43:35 AM  
He killed it. Jerk.

Next time your dog jumps out at me.... BAM!
 
2014-06-26 11:44:47 AM  

nulluspixiusdemonica: He killed it. Jerk.

Next time your dog jumps out at me.... BAM!


So, you're a cop?
 
2014-06-26 11:46:45 AM  

nulluspixiusdemonica: He killed it. Jerk.

Next time your dog jumps out at me.... BAM!


I assume you're a cop.
 
2014-06-26 11:48:07 AM  
Those things are tasty.  What a waste of a snack.
 
2014-06-26 12:03:19 PM  
Did you know that the northern-most species of scorpion is in the UK? I learned that yesterday.

It is 35-45 mm long and its main prey is wood lice. It rarely stings and the sting is like a bee sting, seriously annoying. It is found on a coastal island, not on the main island of Britain. Most people have no idea it is there. It finds its prey by sitting on the threshold of its den and waiting for them to wander by.

Scotland used to have giant scorpions back in the days when arachnids ruled the Earth. This was before Chickens Ruled the Earth and long before mid-Western ladies in horn-rimmed glasses ruled the Earth.
 
2014-06-26 12:03:57 PM  

Gonz: It's just a scorpion. Yeah, they're pretty much the hybrid of a wasp and a spider, and yeah, it hurts like a bastard to get stung, but they're really no big deal.


Depends on what kind.  Some are VERY poisonous.  Some are "harmless" but, yeah, those hurt like a biatch.  Been there.
 
2014-06-26 12:07:36 PM  
He killed it, but not before it launched a freakin' BEE at his face!
tfwiki.net

gu1tarjohn: Gonz: It's just a scorpion. Yeah, they're pretty much the hybrid of a wasp and a spider, and yeah, it hurts like a bastard to get stung, but they're really no big deal.

Depends on what kind.  Some are VERY poisonous.  Some are "harmless" but, yeah, those hurt like a biatch.  Been there.


While not true across the board, it's handy to remember that scorps are kinda like jalapeno peppers, the smaller, the meaner.
 
2014-06-26 12:08:46 PM  
Was the man named "Frog"?

/Obscure?
//They can't help themselves.
///It's their nature.
 
2014-06-26 12:09:21 PM  

brantgoose: Scotland used to have giant scorpions back in the days when arachnids ruled the Earth. This was before Chickens Ruled the Earth and long before mid-Western ladies in horn-rimmed glasses ruled the Earth.


That sounds like it could be a B. Kliban drawing.  Or Gary Larson.
 
2014-06-26 12:10:16 PM  
Poisonous V venomous.
Learn the difference people.
 
2014-06-26 12:14:40 PM  
FTA: All fixed up now

"I was standing there in a state of disbelief, not really believing that a scorpion just rocked me like a hurricane in Scott Township"
 
2014-06-26 12:14:43 PM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
He was probably well hidden in those bananas
 
2014-06-26 12:17:43 PM  
That's a vinegaroon. Whip tailed scorpion. Mean as hell. I pour them out of my boots in the mornings and feed them to the rattlesnakes under my bed.
 
2014-06-26 12:24:25 PM  
Why is it so hard for people to write a well-written headline, with consistent tenses? "Man is" and "when he reached" don't agree with each other.

Further, why do mods greenlight damn near anything?
 
2014-06-26 02:44:06 PM  

vudukungfu: That's a vinegaroon. Whip tailed scorpion. Mean as hell. I pour them out of my boots in the mornings and feed them to the rattlesnakes under my bed.


You are SO full of it.  But I laughed like I usually do.  Darn it.
 
2014-06-26 03:55:36 PM  

dittybopper: Maybe he had a blackout.


Or possibly In Trance. I bet he could really use a Holiday, about now.
 
2014-06-26 06:18:25 PM  
I farking HATE scorpions. Bark Scorpions infested my last house. There's no way to permanently get rid of them once they take up residence.

The only good part was during the colder times when they (and the crickets they ate) went into hibernation.

/stupid cats never killed one
 
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