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(Deadspin)   Dangers of human bite wounds. Here comes the science   (regressing.deadspin.com) divider line 27
    More: Followup, Luis Suarez, Giorgio Chiellini, epidermis, World Cup  
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1851 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Jun 2014 at 7:38 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-25 04:11:01 PM  
WTF is the matter with Suarez?  This being the third time he's bitten an opponent, I'm hoping that FIFA bans him from the next 24 matches the team plays, basically meaning he'll likely not play another World Cup match again.
 
2014-06-25 04:37:49 PM  
If you bite someone, you should have to start over from preschool. You can't rejoin your company, team or what have you, until you have completed preschool and K-12 again (or whatever they have in Uruguay).

Prey4reign: I'm hoping that FIFA bans him from the next 24 matches the team plays


They can suspend him "from 2 games to 24 months". Not sure what the maximum game penalty is. I doubt they can/will suspend him for anything beyond this year's World Cup tournament.

http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/wireStory/fifa-charges-luis-suarez-biti ng -incident-24292391
 
2014-06-25 04:53:02 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: If you bite someone, you should have to start over from preschool.


I like it.
 
2014-06-25 04:57:37 PM  
pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-06-25 07:49:53 PM  
Suarez' favorite movie: "Parents".
 
cot
2014-06-25 08:00:04 PM  
Ask David Lee, he got a pretty nasty infection from tooth-skin contact.

http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2010/11/22/why-was-nba-player-david-lees -injury-so-serious/

Mouths are gross.
 
2014-06-25 08:01:06 PM  
scontent-a-lax.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2014-06-25 08:30:42 PM  
Oh great, convicting the man while the jury is still out. Here we go again.
 
2014-06-25 08:33:39 PM  
tallguywithglasseson:

They can suspend him "from 2 games to 24 months". Not sure what the maximum game penalty is. I doubt they can/will suspend him for anything beyond this year's World Cup tournament.

http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/wireStory/fifa-charges-luis-suarez-biti ng -incident-24292391


24 months IS the max punishment allowed under the FIFA rules for any single infraction. FIFA doesn't have a "banned for life" rule. There is a guy who was banned for eight years but he had multiple red cards in the same game.

/multiple red cards? Yep, her refused to leave the field and kept playing.
 
2014-06-25 08:50:03 PM  

worlddan: tallguywithglasseson:

They can suspend him "from 2 games to 24 months". Not sure what the maximum game penalty is. I doubt they can/will suspend him for anything beyond this year's World Cup tournament.

http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/wireStory/fifa-charges-luis-suarez-biti ng -incident-24292391

24 months IS the max punishment allowed under the FIFA rules for any single infraction. FIFA doesn't have a "banned for life" rule. There is a guy who was banned for eight years but he had multiple red cards in the same game.

/multiple red cards? Yep, her refused to leave the field and kept playing.


They banned a goalie for life for sneaking in a razor, cutting himself, and then claiming a fan threw a firecracker at him in an attempt to win a forfeit. Coaches who were in on it were banned for life, too, and Chile was banned from international games for a few years.
 
2014-06-25 08:54:51 PM  
Even though I don't follow soccer and as such DNRTFA, I can tell you that dog bites are less feared than human bites for a reason, except for the whole rabies thing.

Human mouths are really, really nasty.
 
2014-06-25 09:00:58 PM  
Uruguay is in full denial/"it's a conspiracy" mode about this.
 
2014-06-25 09:02:24 PM  
Anyone caught biting another person should have their teeth pulled or kicked in (victim's choice.)
 
2014-06-25 09:33:46 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Uruguay is in full denial/"it's a conspiracy" mode about this.


It's "dentes de Dios"
 
2014-06-25 09:52:36 PM  

Trocadero: They banned a goalie for life for sneaking in a razor, cutting himself, and then claiming a fan threw a firecracker at him in an attempt to win a forfeit. Coaches who were in on it were banned for life, too, and Chile was banned from international games for a few years.


That was twenty years ago, I don't think that is the current rule. However, the World Cup and other tournaments do not play under "normal" FIFA rules, i;e, the laws of the game. Rather they play under their own specific rules which can be more stringent that FIFA rules.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misconduct_%28association_football%29#P os t-match_penalties

http://www.boston.com/sports/soccer/2014/06/24/fifa-charges-luis-sua re z-for-biting-world-cup/7aM2HYC0CGOkKHMjCLL0kI/story.html

This article says 24 months too but doesn't say under which set of rules.
 
2014-06-25 09:56:25 PM  

whither_apophis: JohnAnnArbor: Uruguay is in full denial/"it's a conspiracy" mode about this.

It's "dentes de Dios"


Argentina keeps a lawyer on hand to sue google and yahoo to keep bad news about ye auld manos de dios out of their local search results.
 
2014-06-25 10:08:21 PM  

worlddan: Oh great, convicting the man while the jury is still out. Here we go again.



How come you have access to the internet but not television?
 
2014-06-25 10:28:23 PM  

ReverendJynxed: Anyone caught biting another person should have their teeth pulled or kicked in (victim's choice.)


How about curb stomped?

Derek: I'm gonna teach you a real lesson now motherfarker. Put your farkin' mouth on the curb.
Suarez: Come on man...
Derek Vinyard: I said put your mouth on the curb!
[Suarez bites onto the curb]
Óscar Tabárez : Derek, no!
Derek Vinyard: That's it! Now say good night.
::CRUNCH!::

/seriously though, lifetime ban. I know it ain't baseball, but three strikes and you're out.
 
2014-06-25 11:50:09 PM  
Even with triple cannibal zombies, soccer is still unwatchably boring
 
2014-06-26 01:52:38 AM  
Just knock their teeth down their neck.

Works in jail on n00bs who won't show respect for their new owners.
 
2014-06-26 06:33:22 AM  

worlddan: tallguywithglasseson:

They can suspend him "from 2 games to 24 months". Not sure what the maximum game penalty is. I doubt they can/will suspend him for anything beyond this year's World Cup tournament.

http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/wireStory/fifa-charges-luis-suarez-biti ng -incident-24292391

24 months IS the max punishment allowed under the FIFA rules for any single infraction. FIFA doesn't have a "banned for life" rule. There is a guy who was banned for eight years but he had multiple red cards in the same game.

/multiple red cards? Yep, her refused to leave the field and kept playing.


Isn't soccer the sport where fans take matters into their own hands?
 
2014-06-26 06:41:02 AM  

ParallelUniverseParking: worlddan: Oh great, convicting the man while the jury is still out. Here we go again.


How come you have access to the internet but not television medication?

 
2014-06-26 06:41:51 AM  

JohnAnnArbor: Uruguay is in full denial dental/"it's a conspiracy" mode about this.


Did some thread fixin :D
 
2014-06-26 08:47:55 AM  
www.writeups.org
What?
 
2014-06-26 08:49:59 AM  
static-secure.guim.co.uk
Nods approvingly.
 
2014-06-26 11:57:09 AM  

JohnAnnArbor: Uruguay is in full denial/"it's a conspiracy" mode about this.


Source?
 
2014-06-26 12:04:02 PM  

anfrind: JohnAnnArbor: Uruguay is in full denial/"it's a conspiracy" mode about this.

Source?


Just one article.
 
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