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(Daily Star)   I'm stuck in my chair. I'm so very scared. Help   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 81
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8561 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2014 at 2:13 PM (12 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



81 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-06-25 01:18:26 PM
Des Badcock

Bad. Bad cock. No nookie for you.
 
2014-06-25 02:02:54 PM
This is the logical progression from, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

The next step is, "Help, I sat down, and I can't get up!"
 
2014-06-25 02:05:57 PM

FoonFlake: This is the logical progression from, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

The next step is, "Help, I sat down, and I can't get up!"


You can't be...

Account created: 2013-12-07 16:39:06  (28 weeks ago)

Ah.
 
2014-06-25 02:08:47 PM
Chariset:  Ah.

Indeed, I was shaking my head trying to clear the 'whoosh' sound out of it after reading that.  The 28 weeks does explain quite a bit.
 
2014-06-25 02:13:01 PM

Chariset: FoonFlake: This is the logical progression from, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

The next step is, "Help, I sat down, and I can't get up!"

You can't be...

Account created: 2013-12-07 16:39:06  (28 weeks ago)

Ah.


Link
 
2014-06-25 02:13:38 PM

phlegmmo: Chariset: FoonFlake: This is the logical progression from, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

The next step is, "Help, I sat down, and I can't get up!"

You can't be...

Account created: 2013-12-07 16:39:06  (28 weeks ago)

Ah.

Link


Try this again.....

Link
 
2014-06-25 02:15:33 PM

phlegmmo: phlegmmo: Chariset: FoonFlake: This is the logical progression from, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

The next step is, "Help, I sat down, and I can't get up!"

You can't be...

Account created: 2013-12-07 16:39:06  (28 weeks ago)

Ah.

Link

Try this again.....

Link


Beat me to it so.......


i287.photobucket.com

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-25 02:17:00 PM
That pic in TFA is NSFW!
 
2014-06-25 02:18:13 PM
Don't you just hate it when this happens to you? I know I do. This is why I don't eat ice cream in deck chairs.
 
2014-06-25 02:19:06 PM
"Eastbourne, it seems, is fast becoming the stuck capital of the northern hemisphere, especially where male genitalia are involved. Two particular cases illustrate the point. First up is Mr Albert Popplethwaite, 68, who required surgery and extensive applications of Vaseline to remove a padlock clamped around his scrotum after a home experiment went horribly wrong. 'I just wanted to see what it was like to be tortured by the Russians,' he explained reasonably. Equally embarrassing, although possibly more excruciating, were the experiences of pensioner Ron Tupper, who had to be cut free by firemen after his testicles got trapped between the slats of his sun lounger. Mr Tupper, 71, was lying naked on the plastic recliner reading a Jilly Cooper novel when disaster struck. It seems that he tried to stand up but was unable to do so because his testicles had mysteriously swollen to over twice the width of the gap through which they had dropped. He somehow shuffled his way indoors the lounge banging between his legs like a swing-bridge and phoned the fire brigade, who endeavoured to slip him free with a variety of lubricants, including axle-grease, baby oil and margarine. When this failed, they demolished the chair with an oxy-acetylene torch. 'Poor old guy,' said one rescuer. 'He looked like he was sitting on a pair of coconuts.'

good times. . .
 
2014-06-25 02:20:48 PM
 
2014-06-25 02:21:34 PM
Quite the conundrum, if you will.
 
2014-06-25 02:21:38 PM
Slatted chairs were made by the devil.
 
2014-06-25 02:22:38 PM

phlegmmo: phlegmmo: Chariset: FoonFlake: This is the logical progression from, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

The next step is, "Help, I sat down, and I can't get up!"

You can't be...

Account created: 2013-12-07 16:39:06  (28 weeks ago)

Ah.

Link

Try this again.....

Link


"Can't move, need advice, soonish."

/classic thread
 
2014-06-25 02:23:26 PM

chachi88: Quite the conundrum, if you will.


BALLSACK!!!!!!
 
2014-06-25 02:24:29 PM
Soonish?
 
2014-06-25 02:24:54 PM

Vlad_the_Inaner: http://www.fark.com/comments/2018473  ???


phlegmmo: phlegmmo: Chariset: FoonFlake: This is the logical progression from, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

The next step is, "Help, I sat down, and I can't get up!"

You can't be...

Account created: 2013-12-07 16:39:06  (28 weeks ago)

Ah.

Link

Try this again.....

Link


Hai Can SOMEONE Like to Bigz2k's thread....?!?!?!?
farm3.staticflickr.com
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2014-06-25 02:25:12 PM
Came for the ballsack conundrum references, not disappointed.
 
2014-06-25 02:25:34 PM
The only way that could have been more FARK is if he was eating clamcakes instead of ice cream.

=Smidge
 
2014-06-25 02:25:35 PM
Hey, maybe if you got a real lawn chair, you cheap bastage, you wouldn't be having these problems!

www.adirondackchaironline.com
 
2014-06-25 02:25:47 PM
Didn't realize that it's been 8 years already. This happened just a little after I started visiting fark. That's one of the first times I ever actually serial refreshed a forum anywhere.
 
2014-06-25 02:26:19 PM
Des Badcock?

More like DES NUTZ!~
 
2014-06-25 02:26:27 PM

H31N0US: Soonish?


Soonish, you know, as opposed to never.
 
2014-06-25 02:26:58 PM

Smidge204: The only way that could have been more FARK is if he was eating clamcakes instead of ice cream.

=Smidge


Clam cake?
 
2014-06-25 02:29:22 PM

Doctor Funfrock: Didn't realize that it's been 8 years already. This happened just a little after I started visiting fark. That's one of the first times I ever actually serial refreshed a forum anywhere.


Has it been that long?  Good times....good times.
 
2014-06-25 02:29:56 PM
I'm shocked the guy in TFA didn't get on Fark and live blog his conundrum.
 
2014-06-25 02:30:29 PM
What's worse: a chair or a giant stone vagina?
 
2014-06-25 02:33:45 PM

ChipNASA: chachi88: Quite the conundrum, if you will.

BALLSACK!!!!!!


hd.se
Quoi?
 
2014-06-25 02:34:59 PM

ChipNASA: phlegmmo: phlegmmo: Chariset: FoonFlake: This is the logical progression from, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

The next step is, "Help, I sat down, and I can't get up!"

You can't be...

Account created: 2013-12-07 16:39:06  (28 weeks ago)

Ah.

Link

Try this again.....

Link

Beat me to it so.......


Damn geuss I'm late to this party.
 
2014-06-25 02:35:56 PM
Thanks guys, but I think I'll pass.

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-25 02:36:51 PM
Watch commander Bill Williams, from Taunton fire station, said: "I can't think of a time I've ever been called out to something like this, but we do have cutting equipment that works on wooden deckchairs, as well as hydraulic tools for metal ones.

I think bigz2k should make plans to move to Taunton.
 
2014-06-25 02:38:03 PM
No pictures of people trapped in chairs and such? Fark be slipping.
 
2014-06-25 02:40:11 PM
It's really too bad that that guy in the UK's chair was bolted to the ground. Otherwise he could have rocked side to side until he fell over, then crawled out.
 
2014-06-25 02:42:53 PM
The Ballsack Conundrum was one of the funniest things on Fark ever.
 
2014-06-25 02:45:23 PM
I would have been fired for laughing my arse off.  Really, could you keep a straight face?
 
2014-06-25 02:45:50 PM
Chairs are dangerous.

sad story- One day got sent to go check on elderly male who lived by himself. 80something year old widower, vet, etc. 

Well we found the guy stuck in a folding chair. He had apparently tripped and somehow fell head first into the gap between the seat and the back, thing collapsed on him and in his panic he couldn't figure out which part he needed to push the legs to open it back up.
 
2014-06-25 02:46:40 PM
Why do they give the full names and age?


/ok. I can understand the age.
 
2014-06-25 02:47:04 PM
That's some shiatty, undetailed reporting:
It's mentioned that he had been eating a Cornetto bought at a Lidl with a 10% discount because he's a part-time employee there, but there's no mention of the original price of the Cornetto or whether the Cornetto was hazelnut, strawberry, bottermelk or a flavor of no interest.
 
2014-06-25 02:47:59 PM

thehobbes: Chairs are dangerous.

sad story- One day got sent to go check on elderly male who lived by himself. 80something year old widower, vet, etc. 

Well we found the guy stuck in a folding chair. He had apparently tripped and somehow fell head first into the gap between the seat and the back, thing collapsed on him and in his panic he couldn't figure out which part he needed to push the legs to open it back up.


Was he dead?
 
2014-06-25 02:49:57 PM

Soup4Bonnie: The Ballsack Conundrum was one of the funniest things on Fark ever.


Seconded.  It was the first time I laughed at a thread so hard I cried.  I could hardly breathe, I was laughing so hard.
 
2014-06-25 02:53:14 PM
Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon:Was he dead?


Oh yeah, traumatic asphyxiation. Rigored by the time we found him. Was actually morbidly funny watching the funeral home people try to get him out of the man-trap. Death grip on the legs and all.
 
2014-06-25 02:54:26 PM
I can't believe how much space they gave to this story. I haven't seen so much attention devoted to so little a matter since-- [your punchline here].

/Inb4 any punchlines involving me. Yeah I know: that was everyone's first move. I've farked long enough to know that.
 
2014-06-25 02:54:35 PM
Epic thread...
 
2014-06-25 02:55:14 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Soup4Bonnie: The Ballsack Conundrum was one of the funniest things on Fark ever.

Seconded.  It was the first time I laughed at a thread so hard I cried.  I could hardly breathe, I was laughing so hard.


For funniest; Hot coco sampler box has my vote http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=763896
 
2014-06-25 02:55:29 PM

The Voice of Doom: That's some shiatty, undetailed reporting:
It's mentioned that he had been eating a Cornetto bought at a Lidl with a 10% discount because he's a part-time employee there, but there's no mention of the original price of the Cornetto or whether the Cornetto was hazelnut, strawberry, bottermelk or a flavor of no interest.


So much this.
 
2014-06-25 03:05:34 PM

TheGogmagog: Benevolent Misanthrope: Soup4Bonnie: The Ballsack Conundrum was one of the funniest things on Fark ever.

Seconded.  It was the first time I laughed at a thread so hard I cried.  I could hardly breathe, I was laughing so hard.

For funniest; Hot coco sampler box has my vote http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=763896


I've been at the same job 20 years this coming October. I get taken out to lunch.
 
2014-06-25 03:08:44 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-25 03:27:48 PM

TheGogmagog: For funniest; Hot coco sampler box has my vote http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=763896


That was good.  Easily in the top 5, but Ballsack still trumps, IMO.

Some of my other favorites:

Rotsky's pet peeve

Home School girl.
 
2014-06-25 03:34:54 PM
Oh memories...
 
2014-06-25 03:40:51 PM

Soup4Bonnie: TheGogmagog: For funniest; Hot coco sampler box has my vote http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=763896

That was good.  Easily in the top 5, but Ballsack still trumps, IMO.

Some of my other favorites:

Rotsky's pet peeve

Home School girl.


Got a link?
 
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