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(My Northwest)   A probably totally sane man drags his leashed, dead raccoon down the street while screaming   (mynorthwest.com) divider line 65
    More: Asinine, mukilteo  
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3687 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2014 at 4:42 PM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-25 02:00:51 PM
I guess being dead is a good reason as any for a raccoon to be screaming.
 
2014-06-25 02:25:16 PM
"The Mukilteo police blotter says the man placed marshmallows around the animal and declared it a hazmat or hazardous materials zone."


I can't stop laughing at this.
 
2014-06-25 02:34:05 PM

Blues_X: "The Mukilteo police blotter says the man placed marshmallows around the animal and declared it a hazmat or hazardous materials zone."
I can't stop laughing at this.


What the---how did he know that? How did he know that marshmallows will stop radioactive waves? I must find him. We must join forces to defeat the radioactivity that has been making me sick for the last five years.
 
2014-06-25 02:37:36 PM

Blues_X: "The Mukilteo police blotter says the man placed marshmallows around the animal and declared it a hazmat or hazardous materials zone."


I can't stop laughing at this.


Candy corn would look more like orange cones.

But marshmallows ARE funnier.
 
2014-06-25 03:09:35 PM
It sounds like "blotter" may be the key word in this article.
 
2014-06-25 03:33:01 PM
the man was last seen getting on a bus

I guess he's someone else's problem now.
 
2014-06-25 04:44:06 PM

Sybarite: the man was last seen getting on a bus

I guess he's someone else's problem now.


Remember what they say, if you don't see the crazy person on the bus, you're it.
 
2014-06-25 04:45:03 PM
Sometimes you have to take Lil' Stinky for a walk.
 
2014-06-25 04:45:39 PM
Hey, we've all had days like that.
 
2014-06-25 04:47:31 PM
The only way you can get a raccoon on a leash is by it being dead.. I don't see the issue.
 
2014-06-25 04:47:35 PM
This happens in Texas a lot.
 
2014-06-25 04:48:06 PM
I blame having to live in Mekalteo on this.
 
2014-06-25 04:48:07 PM
wonder if he is single.   every day sounds like it would be an adventure with him.
 
2014-06-25 04:48:28 PM
This is what happens when you listen to the guy at the party 'hey, let's do as many different drugs at the same time!'
 
2014-06-25 04:52:25 PM
This had damn well better not be obscure:

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-25 04:54:29 PM
I we to assume he was totally calm and rational on that bus ride?
 
2014-06-25 04:54:37 PM
i.imgur.com
He'll get along well with the Warden.
 
2014-06-25 04:56:03 PM
Hah! Everyone knows you only put Triscuits around a hazmat scene.
 
2014-06-25 04:56:25 PM
FTFA: the raccoon was taken to a local shelter for disposal and the man was last seen getting on a bus

"I'll go where I am needed.
Where there is danger, you will find me.
Where hazardous materials threaten humanity, I'll be there.
When you are in fear of wildlife, I shall be by your side.

ONWARD, GRAYHOUND!!"
 
2014-06-25 04:57:06 PM

moeburn: This had damn well better not be obscure:

[img.fark.net image 164x121]


hey arnold?
 
2014-06-25 04:57:34 PM
Mukilteo  has the strictest anti dead raccoon dragging laws in the country. What now libs?
 
2014-06-25 04:57:52 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-25 04:58:15 PM

Blues_X: "The Mukilteo police blotter says the man placed marshmallows around the animal and declared it a hazmat or hazardous materials zone."


I can't stop laughing at this.


Uh oh.  Guess who just got an idea for a new flavor?

media-cdn.tripadvisor.com
 
2014-06-25 04:59:55 PM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: The only way you can get a raccoon on a leash is by it being dead.. I don't see the issue.


Not true, they were a popular pet option in the US as recently as the 1950s.  My mother recalls that her cousins in New York (state, not city) had a pet racoon.  Quite trainable and fun apparently.
 
2014-06-25 05:00:53 PM
Another open carry idiot. We get it, you have rights to your dead raccoon.
 
2014-06-25 05:03:03 PM
www.endurablegoods.com
 
2014-06-25 05:03:40 PM
nymag.com
 
2014-06-25 05:04:10 PM

MBooda: Blues_X: "The Mukilteo police blotter says the man placed marshmallows around the animal and declared it a hazmat or hazardous materials zone."


I can't stop laughing at this.

Uh oh.  Guess who just got an idea for a new flavor?

[media-cdn.tripadvisor.com image 550x412]


If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy!
 
2014-06-25 05:05:01 PM
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-06-25 05:06:18 PM
I still think the commenter spelled Everett wrong.
 
2014-06-25 05:08:08 PM

veedeevadeevoodee: [nymag.com image 300x261]


did he dock his raccoon's tail?
 
2014-06-25 05:13:32 PM

mike_d85: veedeevadeevoodee: [nymag.com image 300x261]

did he dock his raccoon's tail?


Someone snatched it for their street rod antenna
 
2014-06-25 05:14:07 PM

Blues_X: "The Mukilteo police blotter says the man placed marshmallows around the animal and declared it a hazmat or hazardous materials zone."


I can't stop laughing at this.


You're not alone.
 
2014-06-25 05:18:41 PM
A probably totally sane man drags his leashed, dead raccoon down the street while screaming


They don't come when you call, they don't chase squirrels at all.
Dead raccoons aren't much fun.
 
2014-06-25 05:18:49 PM
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2014-06-25 05:20:18 PM

mike_d85: Random Anonymous Blackmail: The only way you can get a raccoon on a leash is by it being dead.. I don't see the issue.

Not true, they were a popular pet option in the US as recently as the 1950s.  My mother recalls that her cousins in New York (state, not city) had a pet racoon.  Quite trainable and fun apparently.


I've read the same, you can find ads in the back of comics as late as the 1950's for raccoon cubs as pets.  The problem as I understand it is that they tend to get very ornery as they get older.  They are also smart enough to do things like turn on the faucet for a drink, but not to turn it off.
 
2014-06-25 05:22:15 PM
Best FARK article all day.
 
2014-06-25 05:32:48 PM
They said I couldn't swing a dead raccoon without hittin someone CRAZY!! Who's crazy now?????
 
2014-06-25 05:34:03 PM
'Swhy you should always carry marshmallows with you.
 
2014-06-25 05:36:06 PM
He was just trying to make some raccoon smores.
 
2014-06-25 05:56:01 PM

Eirik: mike_d85: Random Anonymous Blackmail: The only way you can get a raccoon on a leash is by it being dead.. I don't see the issue.

Not true, they were a popular pet option in the US as recently as the 1950s.  My mother recalls that her cousins in New York (state, not city) had a pet racoon.  Quite trainable and fun apparently.

I've read the same, you can find ads in the back of comics as late as the 1950's for raccoon cubs as pets.  The problem as I understand it is that they tend to get very ornery as they get older.  They are also smart enough to do things like turn on the faucet for a drink, but not to turn it off.


Maybe they are smart enough to turn the faucet off, they're just too big of a jerk to go through with it.
 
2014-06-25 06:03:56 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-25 06:15:56 PM
If running around screaming, and dragging a dead raccoon is wrong, I don't want to be right.
 
2014-06-25 06:17:25 PM

reddfrogg: I don't want to be right.


You want to be on the bus instead?
 
2014-06-25 06:20:42 PM
I think Marvel's going a bit far with this viral marketing.
 
2014-06-25 06:40:51 PM
Dogwelder finally snapped, eh?
 
2014-06-25 06:50:58 PM

Eirik: mike_d85: Random Anonymous Blackmail: The only way you can get a raccoon on a leash is by it being dead.. I don't see the issue.

Not true, they were a popular pet option in the US as recently as the 1950s.  My mother recalls that her cousins in New York (state, not city) had a pet racoon.  Quite trainable and fun apparently.

I've read the same, you can find ads in the back of comics as late as the 1950's for raccoon cubs as pets.  The problem as I understand it is that they tend to get very ornery as they get older.  They are also smart enough to do things like turn on the faucet for a drink, but not to turn it off.


Known several. All named Bandit.
 
2014-06-25 06:54:35 PM
Which Bill Murray movie was this?
 
2014-06-25 07:09:30 PM
Now somewhere in the black mountain hills of Dakota There lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon And one day his woman ran off with another guy Hit young Rocky in the eye Rocky didn't like that He said I'm gonna get that boy So one day he walked into town Booked himself a room in the local saloon Rocky Raccoon checked into his room Only to find Gideon's bible Rocky had come equipped with a gun To shoot off the legs of his rival His rival it seems had broken his dreams By stealing the girl of his fancy Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil But everyone knew her as Nancy Now she and her man who called himself Dan Were in the next room at the hoe down Rocky burst in and grinning a grin He said Danny boy this is a showdown But Daniel was hot, he drew first and shot And Rocky collapsed in the corner, Now the doctor came in stinking of gin And proceeded to lie on the table He said Rocky you met your match And Rocky said, doc it's only a scratch And I'll be better I'll be better doc as soon as I am able And now Rocky Raccoon he fell back in his room Only to find Gideon's bible Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt To help with good Rocky's revival,
 
2014-06-25 07:09:31 PM
I picture him screaming in pain everytime he tugged and pulled the dead racoon in a Jim Carrey theatrical style performance. Then when cops show up he becomes serious and tries his best to appear sane and professional by declaring the marshmallow area off limits.
 
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