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(The Atlantic)   Science confirms musicians are "sexy." Except drummers; they will always be confused for homeless people   (theatlantic.com) divider line 102
    More: PSA, Biological life cycle, University of Sussex, Tim McGraw  
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2585 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Jun 2014 at 10:33 AM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-25 09:03:44 AM
www.musiciansare.com
 
2014-06-25 09:08:30 AM
Settle down Lars.
 
2014-06-25 09:13:10 AM
Homeless? Excuse me?

www.gq.com
 
2014-06-25 09:43:39 AM

i1123.photobucket.com

 
2014-06-25 10:11:09 AM
www.disney.co.uk
 
2014-06-25 10:37:00 AM
So, are you a drummer, or are you a percussionist?
 
2014-06-25 10:38:38 AM
Counterpoint: I play the piano.
 
2014-06-25 10:39:03 AM
What do you call someone who likes to hang out with the band but knows nothing about music?

The drummer
 
2014-06-25 10:39:18 AM
What's the last thing a stripper does with her asshole before she goes to work?

Gives him his drum sticks and drops him off at band practice.
 
2014-06-25 10:39:50 AM
Did you hear about the bassist that locked his keys in his car?

It took him three hours to get the drummer out.
 
2014-06-25 10:39:53 AM
How can you tell the stage is level?

When the drummer's drooling from both sides of his mouth.
 
2014-06-25 10:41:37 AM

Cheron: What do you...

Pangea: What's the last ...

pounddawg: Did you hear...

FormlessOne: How can you tell...


Within less than a minute. That's amazing.
 
2014-06-25 10:44:33 AM

FormlessOne: How can you tell the stage is level?

When the drummer's drooling from both sides of his mouth.


It's funny because our drummer drools sometimes.

/just texted this joke to the rest of the band
 
2014-06-25 10:45:16 AM

FormlessOne: Cheron: What do you...
Pangea: What's the last ...
pounddawg: Did you hear...
FormlessOne: How can you tell...

Within less than a minute. That's amazing.


Teamwork.  Or syncopation.
 
2014-06-25 10:46:17 AM
www.decca.com

"I have been telling you that for 40 years!"
 
2014-06-25 10:46:54 AM
How many chords does the bass player know?

How many has the guitarist taught him?
 
2014-06-25 10:48:20 AM
How do you get a drummer off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.
 
2014-06-25 10:48:28 AM

FormlessOne: Cheron: What do you...
Pangea: What's the last ...
pounddawg: Did you hear...
FormlessOne: How can you tell...

Within less than a minute. That's amazing.


What's the difference between a drummer and a pig?

A pig won't stay up all night trying to fark a drummer.
 
2014-06-25 10:49:20 AM
Have a look at the Pixies doc, loudQUIETloud.  When they reformed, the drummer was literally homeless.

The Jesus Lizard song "Mouth Breather"  was about Slint drummer, Britt Walford.

I leave my home, I leave for a couple weeks
I leave my home, I leave it in the care of a friend
Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy, I like him just fine
But he's a mouth breather
Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy, I like him just fine
But he's a mouth breather
I expect when I return, I return to some sort of order
Such is not the case, no, such is not the case
I leave my home, I leave for a couple weeks
I leave my home, I leave it in the care of a friend
Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy, I like him just fine
But he is a mouth breather
I leave my home, I leave for a couple weeks
I leave my home, I leave it in the care of a friend
And in my basement, I found rainin' piss
And in my kitchen, I found my friend deceased
 
2014-06-25 10:50:41 AM
Musicians are sexy. This is a factual statement. You jelly?
 
2014-06-25 10:52:58 AM
Drummers aren't just mistaken for homeless people, they're also frequently mistaken for musicians.
 
2014-06-25 10:54:43 AM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: FormlessOne: Cheron: What do you...
Pangea: What's the last ...
pounddawg: Did you hear...
FormlessOne: How can you tell...

Within less than a minute. That's amazing.

What's the difference between a drummer and a pig?

A pig won't stay up all night trying to fark a drummer.


How can you tell a drummer's at your door?

He's knocking out of rhythm and comes in late.
 
2014-06-25 10:58:19 AM

Gulper Eel: Homeless? Excuse me?

[www.gq.com image 628x434]


Watts is essentially a jazz drummer, he doesn't count.

/pun may or may not be intended
 
2014-06-25 11:05:03 AM
In before the Neil Pert fanboys
 
2014-06-25 11:05:58 AM
img.fark.net

Then why does Pip get his hands on more bumper than a body shop?

/Not a drummer
 
2014-06-25 11:06:26 AM

walkerhound: In before the Neil Pert fanboys


That's no joke.  EVERY drummer I've known was in love with Neil Pert.
 
2014-06-25 11:10:14 AM

walkerhound: In before the Neil Pert fanboys


How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart coulda done it.
 
2014-06-25 11:12:27 AM
Laugh all you want, but drummers nail top shelf trim

Ringo, hottest wife in the band:

www.bellazon.com

Tommy Lee

img2-3.timeinc.net

Travis Barker

cbsdetroit.files.wordpress.com

David grohl
img2-1.timeinc.net
 
2014-06-25 11:14:07 AM

Gunderson: Ringo, hottest wife in the band:


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-25 11:14:52 AM
Yah!  I'm sexy because science says so and stuff!  But I've been married for 22 years and I love my wife so that kinda doesn't matter anyway.

/Singer in a cheesy 80's Alternative cover band.
//If you don't play music, you should.  It is fun!
///Slashies for the drummer who plays an electronic kit so he's smarter than average.
 
2014-06-25 11:16:24 AM
my drummer hates Neil Peart
Probably because Neil plays with technique, timing, and some finesse, instead of pounding the skins at an ever increasing rate and volume, never caring if what he is doing works for the song being played.
 
2014-06-25 11:19:12 AM

Tyrone Slothrop: Gulper Eel: Homeless? Excuse me?

[www.gq.com image 628x434]

Watts is essentially a jazz drummer, he doesn't count.

/pun may or may not be intended


I read where he counts.
 
2014-06-25 11:21:22 AM

stupiddream: Yah!  I'm sexy because science says so and stuff!  But I've been married for 22 years and I love my wife so that kinda doesn't matter anyway.

/Singer in a cheesy 80's Alternative cover band.
//If you don't play music, you should.  It is fun!
///Slashies for the drummer who plays an electronic kit so he's smarter than average.


Don't put yourself down, dude. One of the most fun bands I follow and go out to see more than once a year is a cheesy 80's cover band.
 
2014-06-25 11:21:29 AM

stupiddream: Slashies for the drummer who plays an electronic kit


Ouch.
 
2014-06-25 11:22:15 AM
So, a drummer got sick and tired of all of the dumb drummer jokes. He goes to the music store looking to find a new instrument to play. He wanders around for a long time, looking at guitars, basses, flutes, clarinets, trumpets, and trombones. Eventually, he's the last person in the store, and the owner's looking to close up, tapping his feet (in better rhythm than the drummer usually manages, I might add), and says, "Hey, buddy, you gonna buy something?"

And just then, the angels start singing and the drummer knows which instrument he wants to buy. "Yeah! That one, in the corner! I want to buy the accordion."

The owner shakes his head, and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?"

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"That's the radiator!"

And as a bonus, since I play violin: What's bigger, a violin or a viola? They're the same size, violinists heads are just bigger, so it seems small in comparison."
 
2014-06-25 11:22:27 AM

KatjaMouse: Gunderson: Ringo, hottest wife in the band:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 497x750]


Reminds me of Allan Sherman's "Pop Hates the Beatles":
Ringo is the one with the drum,
The others all play with him.
It shows you what a boy can become
Without a sense of rhythm.

// apparently, Lennon was being rather tongue-in-cheek, as the whole reason Ringo was hired in the first place was that he was the best session drummer in town
// maybe not flashy, but a human metronome
 
2014-06-25 11:22:35 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-25 11:22:41 AM
If you've ever played in a band with a crappy drummer?

At least you can turn guitar, bass, and vocals down in the mix.  Drums, yea, not so much.
 
2014-06-25 11:23:05 AM
I so have a great story to tell.  But because of the main guy involved, his being very well known, I kinda can't.

I just thought I'd tell you that.

Anyway...  I've played with all manner of drummers from really crappy and inconsistent, to just really amazing.
The best ones are those that will not stop playing even in light of an obvious screw up.  I played with one guy who's pedal fell apart during the first song.  He used the other pedal for a couple of songs, until he got a break and was able to fix the problem.  Not even us in the band knew he was having problems.

That's the mark of a pro right there.
 
2014-06-25 11:26:04 AM
Do a GIS for "drummer groupies"--the first row doesn't even contain any pictures of human beings (or living things at all).
 
2014-06-25 11:27:09 AM

EdNortonsTwin: If you've ever played in a band with a crappy drummer?

At least you can turn guitar, bass, and vocals down in the mix.  Drums, yea, not so much.


Actually - worse yet...  A drummer who is doing fine, but the other instrument NOT following the drummer.
I was at my daughter's school concert a few weeks ago.  There is this 90 year old woman who accompanies the chorus on piano.  She does fine on her own.
But for one song, they added a drummer into the mix.  She was good, and kept a solid beat.  But the piano player refused to acknowledge that she was even playing with someone else.  She just kept her own time regardless of the drummer.  And you rally can't blame the kid on the drums.  She likely couldn't hear the piano well enough to adjust.

That was very hard to listen to.  It was so disjointed.  Like a ripping wall of noise.
 
2014-06-25 11:29:09 AM

EdNortonsTwin: At least you can turn guitar, bass, and vocals down in the mix.  Drums, yea, not so much.


When I was younger and still the churchgoing type, I joined the "music ministry". Essentially, it made church tolerable- I was basically "in the band". We bought a plexiglass cage for our drummer so that we could actually turn him down in the mix (the guy was a good drummer, but he was of the "BANG DRUMS" mentality, so he went to  town on those drums).

A few years back, I was in a band where our drummer played on a junkyard kit- old gas tanks and pipes and shiat. That generally needed to be miked, too. We kept a bass drum set up like a tympani, and for our opening, we wouldn't announce ourselves or welcome the crowd, the drummer and the bass player would just start with four mallets, laying out a beat pattern. They'd start real soft, and gradually build until they're slamming down on the drum with all their might. We'd mike that, too, because it let us make the entire venue just farking  shake with fury. Then we launched into our set, which was a solid wall of music with no breaks, with a style that was someplace between Coil and the Swans. We were so unkind to our audience, but we always had a good turnout, for a no-name band playing in Albany, NY.

I miss being in a band. I need to fix this.
 
2014-06-25 11:29:15 AM

Dr Dreidel: KatjaMouse: Gunderson: Ringo, hottest wife in the band:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 497x750]

Reminds me of Allan Sherman's "Pop Hates the Beatles":
Ringo is the one with the drum,
The others all play with him.
It shows you what a boy can become
Without a sense of rhythm.

// apparently, Lennon was being rather tongue-in-cheek, as the whole reason Ringo was hired in the first place was that he was the best session drummer in town
// maybe not flashy, but a human metronome


Flashy drummers almost always kinda suck (at least on a local semi-pro level). I'll take a pro with steady rhythm and good feel over "Dude, check out this crazy fill" every damn time.
 
2014-06-25 11:29:29 AM
What was the last thing the drummer ever said?

"Hey guys, I have an idea for a song..."
 
2014-06-25 11:30:29 AM

Mouthwatering_Monkeys: my drummer hates Neil Peart
Probably because Neil plays with technique, timing, and some finesse, instead of pounding the skins at an ever increasing rate and volume, never caring if what he is doing works for the song being played.


Neil Peart couldn't drum his way out of a paper bag
 
2014-06-25 11:30:53 AM

durbnpoisn: I so have a great story to tell.  But because of the main guy involved, his being very well known, I kinda can't.

I just thought I'd tell you that.

Anyway...  I've played with all manner of drummers from really crappy and inconsistent, to just really amazing.
The best ones are those that will not stop playing even in light of an obvious screw up.  I played with one guy who's pedal fell apart during the first song.  He used the other pedal for a couple of songs, until he got a break and was able to fix the problem.  Not even us in the band knew he was having problems.

That's the mark of a pro right there.


We had a drummer whose ... what are they called, frame?  It was one piece that held all of his instruments.  Anyway, a piece of it broke during the show and half the kit fell off the stage.  He grabbed it as it fell, managed to pull it with his foot, and keep playing until the end of the song.

(I then had to come up with a means of holding the kit together until the end of the show... which it did until the second-to-last song...)
 
2014-06-25 11:32:21 AM
What is the difference between a musician and a large pepperoni pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four...
 
2014-06-25 11:33:06 AM
stupiddream:
///Slashies for the drummer who plays an electronic kit

It's all good, Josh Freese played electronic drums.
 
2014-06-25 11:36:50 AM
Forget all that macho shiat and learn how to play guitar!
 
2014-06-25 11:37:48 AM

durbnpoisn: EdNortonsTwin: Have you ever played in a band with a crappy drummer?

At least you can turn guitar, bass, and vocals down in the mix.  Drums, yea, not so much.

Actually - worse yet...  A drummer who is doing fine, but the other instrument NOT following the drummer.
I was at my daughter's school concert a few weeks ago.  There is this 90 year old woman who accompanies the chorus on piano.  She does fine on her own.
But for one song, they added a drummer into the mix.  She was good, and kept a solid beat.  But the piano player refused to acknowledge that she was even playing with someone else.  She just kept her own time regardless of the drummer.  And you rally can't blame the kid on the drums.  She likely couldn't hear the piano well enough to adjust.

That was very hard to listen to.  It was so disjointed.  Like a ripping wall of noise.


It all revolves around the drummer - I've never encountered a situation where the band did not follow the drummer unless the drummer was a fark-up.

Petpeeve:  Drummer whose kick drum sounds like tennis shoes in a dryer

Playing with a great drummer is truly exhilarating.

Fun fact:  One of 12 notes on your bass will cause the drummers snare to rattle uncontrollably.  Always a fun way to fark with a drummer who isn't aware of such.
 
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