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(CBS New York)   "Hi, I'd like an Egg McMuffin, a cup of coffee, and someone to take this knife out of my back. Better make it decaf coffee"   (newyork.cbslocal.com) divider line 29
    More: Scary, McDonald, tags, kitchen knife, stabs  
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3024 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jun 2014 at 11:47 PM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-24 08:18:09 PM
Decaff coffee is like sex without peanut butter.
 
2014-06-24 08:26:40 PM

doglover: Decaff coffee is like sex without peanut butter.


*looks at username*
*chortles*
 
2014-06-24 08:51:14 PM

bearded clamorer: doglover: Decaff coffee is like sex without peanut butter.

*looks at username*
*chortles*


Thread over.
 
2014-06-24 09:09:14 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-06-24 10:23:36 PM
media.giphy.com
 
2014-06-24 10:40:01 PM
deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com

Smithers: Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back. How are we doing, boys?
Frink: Well, we're up to fifteen!

37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-06-24 11:28:54 PM
"Doctor, I feel a sharp pain in my back when I go to Mcdonalds."
"You fool! McDonald's food will kill you. Stop going to McDonald's. And do something about that knife in your back too."
 
2014-06-24 11:54:19 PM

doglover: Decaff coffee is like sex without peanut butter.


Yea that would be ruff
 
2014-06-24 11:54:40 PM

doglover: Decaff coffee is like sex without peanut butter.


Chunky, creamy or smooth?
 
2014-06-25 12:02:32 AM
What they do!
 
2014-06-25 12:07:00 AM
Friday night and Jamaica Queens stabbin'.
 
2014-06-25 12:16:15 AM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: What they do!


They smile in your face.
 
2014-06-25 12:28:59 AM

cyberspacedout: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: What they do!

They smile in your face.


All the time they wanna take your place

/yeah yeah

I had breakfast an McD's last weekend and nothing nearly this exciting happened.
 
2014-06-25 12:41:16 AM
A muscular friend of mine got into a fight. He got punched in the back, turned around like a bull out of the pen and the guy who punched him turned white and ran off.

It took a short while for him to realize that he was stabbed, not punched. I think he mentioned the warmth of the blood was what made him notice.

Doctors said it was a quarter of an inch away from his lungs or heart or something.

Moral of the story; go big or go home.
 
2014-06-25 01:03:24 AM

Resident Muslim: A muscular friend of mine got into a fight. He got punched in the back, turned around like a bull out of the pen and the guy who punched him turned white and ran off.

It took a short while for him to realize that he was stabbed, not punched.


Well, it looks like we've found Drizzt Durden's Fark handle.
 
2014-06-25 01:04:19 AM
*larfs at ad placement*


img.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-25 01:08:37 AM
Back in my drunkie days, we were hanging out in my friend's apartment, drunk of course, and their neighbor showed up with blood all over her. She'd been stabbed in a drunken fight and was in a panic because she was, of course, drunk. Wanted us to take her to the hospital.
We told her to go away, fark if we wanted her dripping blood all over the place and sending the cops our way. Don't get stabbed next time.
Drunks, the finest people on earth.
 
2014-06-25 01:10:30 AM

cryinoutloud: Back in my drunkie days, we were hanging out in my friend's apartment, drunk of course, and their neighbor showed up with blood all over her. She'd been stabbed in a drunken fight and was in a panic because she was, of course, drunk. Wanted us to take her to the hospital.
We told her to go away, fark if we wanted her dripping blood all over the place and sending the cops our way. Don't get stabbed next time.
Drunks, the finest people on earth.


That bleeding and wounded sh*t is a real buzzkill.
 
2014-06-25 01:11:54 AM

JoieD'Zen: cryinoutloud: Back in my drunkie days, we were hanging out in my friend's apartment, drunk of course, and their neighbor showed up with blood all over her. She'd been stabbed in a drunken fight and was in a panic because she was, of course, drunk. Wanted us to take her to the hospital.
We told her to go away, fark if we wanted her dripping blood all over the place and sending the cops our way. Don't get stabbed next time.
Drunks, the finest people on earth.

That bleeding and wounded sh*t is a real buzzkill.


Plus EW! BIOHAZARD!
 
2014-06-25 01:21:58 AM

cryinoutloud: Back in my drunkie days, we were hanging out in my friend's apartment, drunk of course, and their neighbor showed up with blood all over her. She'd been stabbed in a drunken fight and was in a panic because she was, of course, drunk. Wanted us to take her to the hospital.
We told her to go away, fark if we wanted her dripping blood all over the place and sending the cops our way. Don't get stabbed next time.
Drunks, the finest people on earth.


She wasn't hot enough to register on you or your friends care-o-meter I take it.
 
2014-06-25 01:44:06 AM
Saw much worse when I worked there. As petty revenge I took delight in calling the police every time some irresponsible idiot came through the drive thru at 2am absolutely drunk off their faces. It was a good deal, the police got an easy capture and free food, I felt I was at least attempting to get more disgusting stupid drunk drivers off the road.
 
2014-06-25 01:46:30 AM

bekovich: I took delight in calling the police


2.bp.blogspot.com

Savvy?
 
2014-06-25 02:10:34 AM
I'm sorry, but we've stopped serving breakfast for today.  You have to use the lunch menu.
 
2014-06-25 03:06:31 AM

bbdane: I'm sorry, but we've stopped serving breakfast for today.  You have to use the lunch menu.


i77.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-25 05:28:55 AM

doglover: Resident Muslim: A muscular friend of mine got into a fight. He got punched in the back, turned around like a bull out of the pen and the guy who punched him turned white and ran off.

It took a short while for him to realize that he was stabbed, not punched.

Well, it looks like we've found Drizzt Durden's Fark handle.


Do'Urden
 
2014-06-25 05:42:39 AM

Smoking GNU: doglover: Resident Muslim: A muscular friend of mine got into a fight. He got punched in the back, turned around like a bull out of the pen and the guy who punched him turned white and ran off.

It took a short while for him to realize that he was stabbed, not punched.

Well, it looks like we've found Drizzt Durden's Fark handle.

Do'Urden


The names were changed to protect the innocent.

thestyleraconteur.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-25 09:41:05 AM
He's lovin' it!
 
2014-06-25 09:54:27 AM
If I recall correctly caffeine is a vasoconstrictor so in this situation you don't want regular not decaf.
 
2014-06-25 12:19:17 PM
eatthattoast.com
 
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