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(The Wire)   All thirty films of Keanu Reeves, "one of America's best and weirdest movie stars," listed in order of performance quality. Whoa   (thewire.com) divider line 97
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6575 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Jun 2014 at 6:38 PM (12 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-24 03:37:02 PM
Ignore the hacky claims that he's wooden or always gives the same performance

/stoppedreadingthere.jpg
 
2014-06-24 03:37:23 PM
I would have put THE WATCHER at the very bottom.
 
2014-06-24 03:40:16 PM
I assume it starts with "poor" and goes down.

I liked the Devil's Advocate, but not for his performance.
 
2014-06-24 03:40:59 PM
We always knew little Neo would come.
 
2014-06-24 03:41:48 PM
"River's Edge" didn't make the list
 
2014-06-24 04:11:17 PM

Sinto: "River's Edge" didn't make the list


Seriously. That would have been my #1.
 
2014-06-24 04:34:34 PM
I've seen probably more of those than I should have.
 
2014-06-24 04:48:27 PM
Funny how you haters haven't done anything remotely well enough for the general public to know your names, yet you bag on Keanu...

Eh. I don't particularly care, but it is sorta cute.

Maybe I'll watch Matrix again tonight.

/really wants to be sweaty with Bullock
 
2014-06-24 06:42:31 PM
I actually enjoyed 47 Ronin despite Keanu Reaves' performance. He has maybe 30 lines in the whole thing.
 
2014-06-24 06:54:59 PM
1. The Matrix (1999)

While I wouldn't necessarily agree that's his best performance, it's certainly the best movie he's been in.


15. Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

I actually saw that in the theater. His first line is "I am a man of few words." The audience actually APPLAUDED.


18. The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Some might argue this is a better film than Reloaded


And those people are idiots.
 
2014-06-24 06:58:14 PM
Dude.

Excellent...not un-heinous
 
2014-06-24 06:58:59 PM
Devil's Advocate #16? Sorry, bullshiat.
 
2014-06-24 07:00:02 PM

fusillade762: I actually saw that in the theater. His first line is "I am a man of few words." The audience actually APPLAUDED.


When he came on the screen, I was like, "Really? Shakespeare?" He was absolutely awful. Only Michael Keaton as Dogberry was worse.

Also, "Bram Stoker's Dracula" deserves a ripe raspberry for teaming Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves in a vast whirlpool of suck. It was so bad that no matter how frantically Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins chewed the scenery, they were dragged down with it.
On a positive note, one of my major guilty pleasures is "Constantine". Reeves nailed it, because it was just being Neo again, and he was able to work around Swinton, Stormare and Weisz. Even The Boof was watchable, and then he died.
 
2014-06-24 07:10:25 PM

theorellior: On a positive note, one of my major guilty pleasures is "Constantine". Reeves nailed it, because it was just being Neo again, and he was able to work around Swinton, Stormare and Weisz. Even The Boof was watchable, and then he died.


Except that movie completely destroyed John Constantine: Hellblazer.
 
2014-06-24 07:15:04 PM

theorellior: fusillade762: I actually saw that in the theater. His first line is "I am a man of few words." The audience actually APPLAUDED.

When he came on the screen, I was like, "Really? Shakespeare?" He was absolutely awful. Only Michael Keaton as Dogberry was worse.

Also, "Bram Stoker's Dracula" deserves a ripe raspberry for teaming Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves in a vast whirlpool of suck. It was so bad that no matter how frantically Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins chewed the scenery, they were dragged down with it.
On a positive note, one of my major guilty pleasures is "Constantine". Reeves nailed it, because it was just being Neo again, and he was able to work around Swinton, Stormare and Weisz. Even The Boof was watchable, and then he died.


Oh I completely disagree on Much Ado. Reeves is FAR worse. Dogberry is supposed to be scenery chewingly over the top. Reeves is just... bad. Like he thinks he is in a completely different movie than every other actor in it bad.
 
2014-06-24 07:15:44 PM
The Matrix should be number one, but Point Break should be number two.
 
2014-06-24 07:24:06 PM
Huh, I thought Street Kings would have ranked higher. Nice little guilty pleasure, that one.
 
2014-06-24 07:24:23 PM

theorellior: Also, "Bram Stoker's Dracula" deserves a ripe raspberry for teaming Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves in a vast whirlpool of suck. It was so bad that no matter how frantically Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins chewed the scenery, they were dragged down with it.
On a positive note, one of my major guilty pleasures is "Constantine". Reeves nailed it, because it was just being Neo again, and he was able to work around Swinton, Stormare and Weisz. Even The Boof was watchable, and then he died.


I really enjoyed that movie when it came out but I was like 17 or so.  I saw it recently and those two completely ruined it.
 
2014-06-24 07:28:17 PM

thefatbasturd: theorellior: fusillade762: I actually saw that in the theater. His first line is "I am a man of few words." The audience actually APPLAUDED.

When he came on the screen, I was like, "Really? Shakespeare?" He was absolutely awful. Only Michael Keaton as Dogberry was worse.

Also, "Bram Stoker's Dracula" deserves a ripe raspberry for teaming Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves in a vast whirlpool of suck. It was so bad that no matter how frantically Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins chewed the scenery, they were dragged down with it.
On a positive note, one of my major guilty pleasures is "Constantine". Reeves nailed it, because it was just being Neo again, and he was able to work around Swinton, Stormare and Weisz. Even The Boof was watchable, and then he died.

Oh I completely disagree on Much Ado. Reeves is FAR worse. Dogberry is supposed to be scenery chewingly over the top. Reeves is just... bad. Like he thinks he is in a completely different movie than every other actor in it bad.


I had such high hopes for that movie - Branagh's Henry V was awesome, and now, a comedy! The opening scenes were great, lots of flashing skin from the ladies, (and the gents, if you like that), a whole bunch of well-trained and experienced British thespians - this is gonna be good - I mean, how could any film with Brian Blessed go wrong?

Then comes the eye-twitching dissonance of Denzel, Keanu, and even worse - Robert Sean Leonard.

I coped with Denzel - he delivered his lines with conviction and was believable. Keanu just didn't seem to get it, although he did try, in his own way. RSL made me want to puke.

I still watch it occasionally for the sight of 19-year-old Kate Beckinsale, and to listen to the British actors.
 
2014-06-24 07:30:01 PM
Wow,that is a LOT of really shiatty movies...maybe 2-3 on that list that are worth re-watching...The Matrix, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure...after that, holy cow, what a bunch of crap...
 
2014-06-24 07:32:05 PM
Speaking as one of the crowd extras from The Replacements, Keanu is amazing in person and actually stayed for autographs after one shoot got rained out. He signed my pay slip and was very tolerant of the Point Break and Matrix jokes.
 
2014-06-24 07:39:51 PM
The list missed a film.

Man of Tai Chi.

Reeves does a very solid turn as a bad guy.
 
2014-06-24 07:41:33 PM
Johnny Mnemonic was mind-bendingly bad.
 
2014-06-24 07:45:02 PM

RockofAges: DeathByGeekSquad: The list missed a film.

Man of Tai Chi.

Reeves does a very solid turn as a bad guy.

I liked this movie quite a bit. I like fight movies, and martial arts movies. And Keanu Reeves. It could have been pepped up a little bit, but honestly, it was pretty damn good. Tiger doesn't have the look of a badass and that both worked and didn't work for me.

Blood and Bone w/ Michael Jai White is more my style. Should have put Keanu in that as the underground boss.


I'm glad someone else can appreciate the film!

/tiphat
 
2014-06-24 07:46:45 PM
Keanu Reeves isn't really an actor, he's more of a placeholder.  Like "insert lead male here" type, which sometimes works well in a movie because you can just look past him and concentrate on other characters, plot, etc, but that means you need someone that really chews the scenery opposite him.  But off camera he seems like a pretty down to earth guy, so there is that.

I really wish he would hook up with Kristen Stewart.  I want to see what kind of offspring they would produce.  I doubt any of them would pass the Turing Test.
 
2014-06-24 07:51:56 PM
Just think, he almost played Jim Morrison in Oliver Stone's The Doors instead of Val Kilmer.
 
2014-06-24 07:57:48 PM
30 Films by Keanu Reeves:

i.imgbox.com
 
2014-06-24 07:58:38 PM

BigLuca: Keanu Reeves isn't really an actor, he's more of a placeholder.  Like "insert lead male here" type, which sometimes works well in a movie because you can just look past him and concentrate on other characters, plot, etc, but that means you need someone that really chews the scenery opposite him.  But off camera he seems like a pretty down to earth guy, so there is that.


This^^^

I really wish he would hook up with Kristen Stewart.  I want to see what kind of offspring they would produce.  I doubt any of them would pass the Turing Test.

This might work better:
i4.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-24 07:58:53 PM
River's Edge is a great movie with an amazing cast, but I think that's why it's not on the list.  It's more of an ensemble thing, not something you can say Keanu Reeves 'stars' in.
 
2014-06-24 08:02:52 PM
I would have put Much Ado About Nothing a lot lower on this list. Reeves is always pretty bad, but you put him next to a bunch of good actors, and then make him say Shakespearean stuff, he's just horrifying. And it's not even just that he's an American trying to do Shakespeare (which tends to be dicey). Denzel was great in that movie, and even Michael Keaton was serviceable.
 
2014-06-24 08:03:32 PM

Sinto: "River's Edge" didn't make the list


Thank you. First thing I saw him in. First run. And btw, how hard is it to hit the imdb site. Dumbshiat article writer.
 
2014-06-24 08:07:13 PM
Fark this list entirely for not including I Love You to Death.
That was the only reason I checked TFA at all.

That movie is goddamn incredible, and Keanu was perfect in it.
 
2014-06-24 08:11:54 PM
I watched River's Edge the other night for the first time in maybe 15 years. It was far funnier now than it was new.

also I still want you, Ionne!
 
2014-06-24 08:18:46 PM

Birnone: River's Edge is a great movie with an amazing cast, but I think that's why it's not on the list.  It's more of an ensemble thing, not something you can say Keanu Reeves 'stars' in.


I was thinking the same...otherwise, big fail that it wasn't included.
 
2014-06-24 08:20:19 PM
There are war crimes less abhorrent than this film.
That's one of those lines that would have been an epic burn if Roger Ebert had said it, but being said by a no-name blogger makes it seem petty and unimaginative.
 
ecl
2014-06-24 08:22:46 PM
I heard he's gonna be the adult Shia Lebeuf in the next Indiana Jones.
 
2014-06-24 08:29:56 PM

fusillade762: 1. The Matrix (1999)

While I wouldn't necessarily agree that's his best performance, it's certainly the best movie he's been in.


15. Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

I actually saw that in the theater. His first line is "I am a man of few words." The audience actually APPLAUDED.


18. The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Some might argue this is a better film than Reloaded

And those people are idiots.


By some people he means himself.

And that's it. There's no logic to these rankings. Sooooo I like it when you call me biig pa pa!
 
2014-06-24 08:43:02 PM
Keanu is pretty awesome. Not anything in the neighborhood of perfect, but he has some pretty damn good movies out there. He also has some real steamers.

Then again, show me an actor that hasn't made at least one absolutely shiat movie.


Acting is a job, no one here has done every different job (those of you with jobs) perfectly every day of their lives. some jobs you learn on, some jobs you regret, some jobs you just try to forget :P

Too often people are hypercritical of film because they feel cheated that someone couldn't provide them the perfect farking make-believe.

They're just movies, hell, sometimes it's not even the actors fault, it's the hack director, distracted/absent producer, disgruntled film studio, art departments that don't even exist.... the list goes on.
 
2014-06-24 08:48:59 PM

Safari Ken: I would have put Much Ado About Nothing a lot lower on this list. Reeves is always pretty bad, but you put him next to a bunch of good actors, and then make him say Shakespearean stuff, he's just horrifying. And it's not even just that he's an American trying to do Shakespeare (which tends to be dicey). Denzel was great in that movie, and even Michael Keaton was serviceable.


Casting Reeves in the role was brilliant. It's brilliant because Don John is a paper-thin villain who's a villain because he's a villain who likes being a villain. The character has no depth and Shakespeare created him only to start the ball rolling on the wacky misadventures of our main characters. Who better to cast as a cardboard villain than a cardboard actor?

(Side Note: anyone who hasn't seen the Joss Whedon production of Much Ado, Nathan Fillion makes a great Dogberry)
 
2014-06-24 08:52:12 PM
I love The Replacements. I just re-watched it over the weekend.
 
2014-06-24 08:52:59 PM
Keanu is typically considered a bad actor by people who don't know much about acting.  He's not (usually) actively bad, and usually pretty good.  He's just sometimes not directed or edited well, or in a real piece of shiat.  Acting is easy, but it's also easy to do badly.  He's not bad.
 
2014-06-24 09:01:52 PM
I saw  Reloaded and  Revolutions on TV recently. First time I'd watched them since I saw them in the theater when they came out. I have to say they've grown on me in a "so bad they're hilarious" sort of way.
 
2014-06-24 09:03:24 PM
I actually prefer his work on the small screen.

i1.ytimg.com

/I know kung fu
 
2014-06-24 09:09:26 PM
Bogus Journey was better than Excellent Adventure(it's among the best sequels ever, imho).

Constantine was suitably rated.

Johnny Mnemonic was too high(despite Dolph being goddamned hilarious).

The Devil's Advocate is too low(who cares about Keanu's shiatty accent.. Connery's awful Russian accent didn't stop Red October from being good).

Speed should be #1.  Keanu wasn't playing Keanu, Dennis Hopper is a better bad guy than Hugo Weaving, Jeff Daniels is a better sidekick than Carrie Anne Moss, Sandra Bullock is a better love interest than Carrie Anne Moss, and, despite the movie being less deep, the dialogue was as good as it gets(particularly for a Keanu movie).
 
2014-06-24 09:13:19 PM

ADHD Librarian: I actually prefer his work on the small screen.



/I know kung fu


No, you don't.
 
2014-06-24 09:28:48 PM

Tarl3k: Wow,that is a LOT of really shiatty movies...maybe 2-3 on that list that are worth re-watching...The Matrix, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure...after that, holy cow, what a bunch of crap...


Devils advocate for the hottest naked-on-screen redhead ever
 
2014-06-24 09:31:08 PM

RockofAges: varmitydog: Just think, he almost played Jim Morrison in Oliver Stone's The Doors instead of Val Kilmer.

The Doors suck way, way, way more than Keanu Reeves could ever think of. Up there with LZ as the most over-rated acts ever. Doors wins though, because organs are cheesy as hell and should be reserved for backing on a few tracks, max.


the sir douglas quintet should kick your ass

/yes, the doors still suck
 
2014-06-24 09:42:02 PM

Glitchwerks: Except that movie completely destroyed John Constantine: Hellblazer.


See, that's the thing: I'd never read the source material, so I didn't get bent out of shape by the bad adaptation. It was just another excursion into the Christian Dialectic Mythos, which has set up some great movies in the past. For me, "Constantine" delivered. Evil demons, cool hell scenes, deadpan Keanu, Rachel Weisz being hot, Peter Stormare chewing the scenery in one of the slimiest versions of Satan out there, and Tilda Swinton being cool and inscrutable until she gets her angel wings burned off. What's not to like?
 
2014-06-24 09:47:27 PM

rjakobi: Speaking as one of the crowd extras from The Replacements, Keanu is amazing in person and actually stayed for autographs after one shoot got rained out. He signed my pay slip and was very tolerant of the Point Break and Matrix jokes.


Everything I've heard about the guy makes it sound like he still can't believe the gravy train has run this long and likes to make things easy for everyone he works with.
 
2014-06-24 09:54:47 PM
Just wanted to pop in and show some love for Freaked / Hideous Mutant Freekz (okay, Keanu is barely in it and he's unrecognizable).  Still just a stupid-fun movie.

"Sure are a lot of milkmen on this route.  No wonder they're fighting."
 
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