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(Boing Boing)   If you've ever flown Air India, you will appreciate this honest in-flight safety video of what the stewardesses would really like to tell passengers. If you've never flown Air India, make a note to never do it   (boingboing.net) divider line 52
    More: Amusing, Indians, Xeni Jardin, parody, Hindi  
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13984 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jun 2014 at 4:26 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-24 03:31:43 PM  
Most of those were pretty universal to air travel anywhere in the world.
 
2014-06-24 04:33:59 PM  
Air India? If it's anything like Rail India, they will need some ON-flight safety videos too.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-24 04:35:12 PM  
This United in-flight video is something that came out in late 2010 when the merger was first announced, and over the course of time, everything (except the fine) has come to fruition.
 
2014-06-24 04:35:40 PM  
Two words: Hover splatter
 
2014-06-24 04:35:47 PM  
Ommm naran narayana
/add odd drum beat
 
2014-06-24 04:36:59 PM  
In the '70s, didn't Benny Hill make an in-flight safety video for Air India (in exchange for a free vacation)? I recall reading that in Mark Lewisohn's biography of him. (Sadly, I don't think the video itself is online; it's not even mentioned on IMDB.)
 
2014-06-24 04:38:57 PM  
If you're in first class do you still have to give up your seat to a cow?
 
2014-06-24 04:40:04 PM  
do they poop in the aisles because the toilets are stuffed with clothes?
 
2014-06-24 04:44:58 PM  
On a positive note that flight attendant is a hottie.  Its even cute when she cusses.
 
2014-06-24 04:45:58 PM  
Wilson Bridge at 1:07 -- they grabbed some footage from DCA. Good times.
 
2014-06-24 04:47:46 PM  
It always throws me off when your speaking to an Indian and their head is moving like a bobblehead doll.
 
2014-06-24 04:48:51 PM  
Why... why...why?
I have to listen to poor English speaking Indians on customer service tech lines. Why would I want to listen to more of that crap?
And they are not speaking English and the sub-titles are in another language.

About as far as I got... something about farking SUBBY with a cactus.
 
2014-06-24 04:49:08 PM  
If there had been something about passengers bringing their own obnoxiously smelly food on board, and they'd dragged out the "strangers talking really loudly" part, that would have perfectly described every Chinese airline I've ever flown on. Those are the worst.

Also, flight attendant was hot.
 
2014-06-24 04:51:36 PM  
everybody stands up

This is why you don't rely on people following instructions, being in any way civilized, or even human. This is why planes should have seatbelts they can't unlock themselves. And retaining bars that go all the way back along each island of seats.

Like prisoners on a trip in a jail van.
 
2014-06-24 04:53:45 PM  

skinink: It always throws me off when your speaking to an Indian and their head is moving like a bobblehead doll.


That's a sign of interest or respect in their culture. Unfortunate that it is almost certainly conotated with disrespect in ours.
 
2014-06-24 04:54:23 PM  
Still beats Jihadi Air.
 
2014-06-24 04:54:53 PM  
OK, despite all of the above, that was hilarious.
 
2014-06-24 04:58:05 PM  
Yeah, that's pretty much any American airline as well.

(Just flew BTV-ORD, ORD-TPA today.)
 
2014-06-24 04:58:20 PM  
That was the best part of my day...... I hate my job.......Fark you very much.

Like the angry fist of the flight attendant's god.
 
2014-06-24 04:59:11 PM  

EdNortonsTwin: Still beats Jihadi Air.


i1341.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-24 05:02:31 PM  
 If you're going to make a mock video like that, try to at least get something resembling the actual interior of an airliner.

I guess you can't be quite as snarky about your job if you show how airlines actually treat passengers.
 
2014-06-24 05:15:10 PM  

Stoker: Why... why...why?
I have to listen to poor English speaking Indians on customer service tech lines. Why would I want to listen to more of that crap?
And they are not speaking English and the sub-titles are in another language.

About as far as I got... something about farking SUBBY with a cactus.


The "CC" button helps quite a bit -- adds moar English captioning to the video, overlaying the original captioning when needed.

/hot attendant is hot
 
2014-06-24 05:21:17 PM  

Iplaybass: If there had been something about passengers bringing their own obnoxiously smelly food on board, and they'd dragged out the "strangers talking really loudly" part, that would have perfectly described every Chinese airline I've ever flown on. Those are the worst.

Also, flight attendant was hot.


Aryan food is not like china food.
 
2014-06-24 05:25:43 PM  
Yeah, that's pretty much any international flight in coach.

/ has flown cattle class on Air India, wasn't noticeably worse than other airlines.
 
2014-06-24 05:28:13 PM  

pstudent12: Aryan food is not like china food.


Instead of being hungry again an hour later, the food lasts for a thousand years?

The best part of Aryan food is always opening up the empty butter dish and yelling "Hurrah, die Butter ist alle!" ("Hurray, the butter is gone!")

http://exploringartstyles.yolasite.com/resources/Heartfield_Hurrah-2 .j pg (pops)
 
2014-06-24 05:30:10 PM  

Cyclometh:  If you're going to make a mock video like that, try to at least get something resembling the actual interior of an airliner.

I guess you can't be quite as snarky about your job if you show how airlines actually treat passengers.


Also, the flight attendant's knees were too sharp.
 
2014-06-24 05:32:53 PM  
CSB:  I almost flew on Air India once, London to NYC. Fortunately, the flight was running eight hours late, so my group and the 3-4 other small groups that showed up on time got bumped over to a mostly empty Virgin Atlantic A346 that was just about to board. Best flight ever.
 
2014-06-24 05:35:54 PM  

NinjaFapper: On a positive note that flight attendant is a hottie.  Its even cute when she cusses.


yes, both of them are cute even when they're telling someone to go fark themselves
 
2014-06-24 05:36:01 PM  

maxheck: / has flown cattle class on Air India, wasn't noticeably worse than other airlines.


Wouldn't cattle class on Air India be first class?
 
2014-06-24 05:38:12 PM  

EdNortonsTwin: Still beats Jihadi Air.


I've flown Air Egypt, Saudia, and a couple of regional ME airlines.  They're at least as good as Delta.
 
2014-06-24 06:14:00 PM  
I've flown Air India a few times, it was just fine.

I think the video was about airlines in general, just happened to be Indian guys who made it so they chose Air India.

Pretty funny.
 
2014-06-24 06:18:30 PM  
I've flown Air India, and it was quite pleasant.
Granted it was in the 80's, and I'd been rerouted after SABINA (Belgian Air) went on one of their famous 24 hr. strikes, and was facing spending the night in JFK over Christmas.  ANYthing at that point would have looked good.
 
2014-06-24 07:17:24 PM  
I've been to India more than 50 times and all I can say is that change is the only thing that stays the same. That was the least-Indian video I've ever seen, so I'm comforted to know that things are staying the same.
 
2014-06-24 07:17:48 PM  

All this tells me is "the air travel industry hates and resents their customers, so don't bother with them."

 
2014-06-24 07:38:25 PM  
i didn't see anything about flushing blankets and flip flops down the toilet, so i am not convinced.
 
2014-06-24 08:12:35 PM  
Hilarious!

/needs flight attendant to point at things that I won't be paying attention to...
 
2014-06-24 08:59:05 PM  
funny as hell---

did anyone catch the tail on the plane that was landing?  alaska airlines.
 
2014-06-24 09:37:03 PM  
Do they want to tell them to kindly do the needful?
 
2014-06-24 10:29:39 PM  

some_beer_drinker: i didn't see anything about flushing blankets and flip flops down the toilet, so i am not convinced.


That is the second reference to that in this thread.  Is that a thing in India?
 
2014-06-24 10:41:40 PM  
Flew Air India in the 70's to London. Food was interesting. The "beef" dish was rumored to actually be snake.  Return flight from Heathrow canceled since our flight got struck by lightning. Got to fly Pan Am back.
 
2014-06-24 10:42:22 PM  

The Googles Do Nothing: some_beer_drinker: i didn't see anything about flushing blankets and flip flops down the toilet, so i am not convinced.

That is the second reference to that in this thread.  Is that a thing in India?


there was a thread about it a few weeks ago.
 
2014-06-24 10:51:02 PM  

Stile4aly: EdNortonsTwin: Still beats Jihadi Air.

I've flown Air Egypt, Saudia, and a couple of regional ME airlines.  They're at least as good as Delta.


Maine has airlines?
 
2014-06-24 10:54:23 PM  

some_beer_drinker: The Googles Do Nothing: some_beer_drinker: i didn't see anything about flushing blankets and flip flops down the toilet, so i am not convinced.

That is the second reference to that in this thread.  Is that a thing in India?

there was a thread about it a few weeks ago.


And that thread had me laughing harder than I had laughed in years. Ahh, it's happening again!
 
2014-06-24 11:03:48 PM  
Much better than Al-Italia.
 
2014-06-25 12:17:02 AM  
Looks like the Air India experience has improved since I last flew with them.
 
2014-06-25 12:33:39 AM  
Come on, Fark!
45 comments. I'm late to the party and I'm the one who has to post this?!

prepare-and-protect.net
/hot like a vindaloo
//flew on Air India decades ago. It's the smell that hits you when you board that gets you
 
2014-06-25 03:20:16 AM  

Stoker: Why... why...why?
I have to listen to poor English speaking Indians on customer service tech lines. Why would I want to listen to more of that crap?
And they are not speaking English and the sub-titles are in another language.

About as far as I got... something about farking SUBBY with a cactus.


YT can translate the subtitles into English for you. They're hilarious.
 
2014-06-25 09:29:48 AM  

KidKorporate: skinink: It always throws me off when your speaking to an Indian and their head is moving like a bobblehead doll.

That's a sign of interest or respect in their culture. Unfortunate that it is almost certainly conotated with disrespect in ours.


I oversee several international students andseveral do the "head-bobble" when I am speaking at them directly. The other one is them answering "yes" to everything I say or ask.

/the more you know
//shooting star and stuff
 
2014-06-25 09:49:46 AM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: do they poop in the aisles because the toilets are stuffed with clothes?


This or even simple instructions on how to use the lavatory - "DON'T shiat IN THE SINK"
 
2014-06-25 10:42:33 AM  

skinink: It always throws me off when your speaking to an Indian and their head is moving like a bobblehead doll.


Explanation.
 
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