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(FCC)   Dear FCC: You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel   (apps.fcc.gov) divider line 58
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

7531 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Jun 2014 at 8:19 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



58 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-06-24 03:56:32 AM  
With all the comedy gold contained within the content you choose that snippet, Subby?
 
2014-06-24 04:08:52 AM  
 
2014-06-24 08:07:24 AM  
What if this is a bit of reverse psychology by Comcast?

Nah.  It shows actual creativity and entertainment value.
 
2014-06-24 08:25:33 AM  
Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the Good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
but plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize --

Only be sure always to call it please 'research'."
 
2014-06-24 08:26:30 AM  
Well that was useless. I admit, I only skimmed through all of that, but did the person ever make an actual point or was it just three pages of one lined insults?
 
2014-06-24 08:31:26 AM  
Reading just insults is boring. You've got to place then throughout the point you're trying to make.
 
2014-06-24 08:33:30 AM  
Is this the part where all the kids yell, "Bangarang, Rufio!"
 
2014-06-24 08:33:32 AM  
Wow really scraping the bottom of the barrel in some of this:

You believe that P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer who ever lived.
 
2014-06-24 08:38:56 AM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the Good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
but plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize --

Only be sure always to call it please 'research'."


Did you not see who the filer was?
 
2014-06-24 08:42:16 AM  

dualplains: Lee Jackson Beauregard: Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the Good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
but plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize --

Only be sure always to call it please 'research'."

Did you not see who the filer was?


*shrug*  OK, fine.  I saw that bit about caribou and oil and my copypasta detector started pinging.
 
2014-06-24 08:47:39 AM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the Good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
but plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize --

Only be sure always to call it please 'research'."



"This document is released under the Creative Commons CC0 "No Rights Reserved" license. See http://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/ for details. To the extent possible under law, I waive all copyright and related or neighboring rights to The Insult File. You are free to use this for any purpose, including web pages, newsgroup posts, emails, and letters to the Los Angeles Times. I do *not* require you to give me credit, and I recomend against doing so if you use this in an email or newsgroup post - it is more effective without it. Just cut and past it as is, and refer them to this paragraph if they think you stole it. I would prefer credit if you put this on your web page, but feel free to ignore that preference if the page works better that way. I would prefer that if somody asks where you got it, you tell them, but that is up to you. You can even pretend you wrote it, just as everyone else is free to mock you when they find out. In particular, removing the hidden reference to this web page is especially likely to result in you being ridiculed. "
 
2014-06-24 08:51:29 AM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the Good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
but plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize --

Only be sure always to call it please 'research'."

- Rand Paul

 
2014-06-24 08:56:15 AM  
 
2014-06-24 08:57:05 AM  
This isn't loading for me. Is that the joke?
 
2014-06-24 09:02:40 AM  
 
2014-06-24 09:13:04 AM  
He just said what we were all thinking. All of us combined. Plus he threw in some of his own thoughts.
 
2014-06-24 09:16:21 AM  
Could this be the same file, since the FCC one won't load?  Didn't it used to be a ".h" header file back in the days of plain old c?
 
2014-06-24 09:23:57 AM  
Is the FCC considered a genius in France?
 
2014-06-24 09:29:04 AM  
Commissions, like corporations, are people too, and you just cyberbullied the FCC. Now when the FCC gets an eating disorder and posts regrettable YouTube videos, I bet you'll be sorry then, Guy Macon.
 
2014-06-24 09:40:32 AM  

Ironman273: Is the FCC considered a genius in France?


Arch, beat me to it.

/instructions on the heeeeel
//instructions on the heel
 
2014-06-24 09:45:57 AM  
You're a mean one, Mr. FCC.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
Mr. FCC.
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. FCC.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr FCC.
I wouldn't touch you with a
Thirty-nine and a half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. FCC.
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
Mr FCC.
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. FCC.
You're a nasty wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr FCC.

The three best words that best describe you,
Are as follows, and I quote"
Stink!
Stank!
Stunk!

You're a rotter Mr FCC
You're the king of sinful sots
Your hearts a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots
Mr FCC

Your sole is a appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr FCC
With a noxious super nos
You're a crooked jerky jockey and,
You drive a crooked horse
Mr FCC!

You're a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!
 
2014-06-24 09:55:20 AM  
I don't think this is helping the cause much, and I really doubt EFF likes being added to something idiotic like that.

Of course, most letters the FCC gets are even worse, and are serious.
 
2014-06-24 09:55:23 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: What if this is a bit of reverse psychology by Comcast?

Nah.  It shows actual creativity and entertainment value.


For about 12 seconds. Then you realize it's a Monty Python routine, the kind where they had no real material so they just grabbed a thesaurus and went nuts.
 
2014-06-24 09:56:43 AM  
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
 
2014-06-24 09:58:25 AM  

Great_Milenko: I don't think this is helping the cause much, and I really doubt EFF likes being added to something idiotic like that.

Of course, most letters the FCC gets are even worse, and are serious.


I think all the salient points have been made multiple times. I imagine at this point it's more a matter of adding your voice to the chorus.

At this point the chorus is more than 190,000 filings with less than 3 weeks to go on this *first round* of comments. I could envision 250K-300K filings by the July deadline. Compared to the 2K-4K filings the FCC might get on other proceedings, this is a big deal.
 
2014-06-24 10:03:43 AM  

wxboy: You're a mean one, Mr. FCC.


I started reading it in Boris Karloff's voice from that song, I see I'm not the only one
 
2014-06-24 10:26:01 AM  
This isn't the FCCs fault. The FCC had net neutrality rules in place that were struck down in court.
http://www.cnet.com/news/appeals-court-strikes-down-fccs-net-neutral it y-rules/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comcast_Corp._v._FCC


If you want to blame anyone, blame congress. The job of the FCC is to set regulations that follow the law. It's congress's job to make the law. The net neutrality issue would be solved tomorrow if congress wanted to solve it.
 
2014-06-24 10:36:33 AM  

Tman144: If you want to blame anyone, blame congress. The job of the FCC is to set regulations that follow the law. It's congress's job to make the law. The net neutrality issue would be solved tomorrow if congress wanted to solve it.


Bullcrap.  Wheeler could have declared them Common Carriers and the problem would have been resolved.
 
2014-06-24 10:37:34 AM  

Tman144: This isn't the FCCs fault. The FCC had net neutrality rules in place that were struck down in court.
http://www.cnet.com/news/appeals-court-strikes-down-fccs-net-neutral it y-rules/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comcast_Corp._v._FCC


If you want to blame anyone, blame congress. The job of the FCC is to set regulations that follow the law. It's congress's job to make the law. The net neutrality issue would be solved tomorrow if congress wanted to solve it.


The FCC had been operating under "net neutrality" for some time. Then we got a new FCC Chair who was really chummy with the cable companies and a lawsuit that struck down neutrality. It appears the new FCC Chair has no intention of willingly going back to net neutrality.

Yes, Congress could solve this immediately but they wouldn't have to if the FCC hadn't been hog-tied and sold to the highest bidder.
 
2014-06-24 11:02:15 AM  

s2s2s2: This isn't loading for me. Is that the joke?


If only. Then it would be slightly funny.

/I want the last 30 seconds of my life back
 
2014-06-24 11:23:00 AM  
 
2014-06-24 11:38:47 AM  
Don't beat around the bush, now. How do you really feel?

The only insult I would disagree with in that was the one about L. Ron Hubbard and Larry Niven cum Jerry Pournelle. First of all, Hubbard was not a bad science fiction writer--in fact, he was so good at he was able to turn it into a religion/cash cow/dessert topping. Larry Niven is a great writer but by the time he started to collaborate with Pournelle he had more or less run out of ideas--which is why he started to collaborate (not just with Pournelle, but all Steve Barnes, Brenda Cooper, and anyone else with a pulse and the willingness to do the heavy lifting so Niven could collect a paycheck). A good rule of thumb for reading a Niven/Pournelle collaboration: if it involves interesting aliens doing startling and unexpected things in a manner calculated to make you think about your innate beliefs: that would be Niven. If it involves a Space Marine lifting a chalice of mead and exclaiming "To the Queen!': that would be Pournelle.
 
2014-06-24 11:54:04 AM  
Eh ... slightly amusing, could have been shorter. Still I'd file it under "you're not helping"
 
2014-06-24 11:55:08 AM  

Great_Milenko: I don't think this is helping the cause much, and I really doubt EFF likes being added to something idiotic like that.

Of course, most letters the FCC gets are even worse, and are serious.


It makes me wonder what cave those people crawled out from if they didn't know any awards show on MTV has been "trashy" for some 20+ years.


/People are idiots
//I hate [most] people
///Mostly idiots
 
2014-06-24 11:56:51 AM  

clambam: First of all, Hubbard was not a bad science fiction writer-

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-24 11:58:14 AM  

wxboy: You're a mean one, Mr. FCC.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
Mr. FCC.
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. FCC.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr FCC.
I wouldn't touch you with a
Thirty-nine and a half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. FCC.
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
Mr FCC.
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. FCC.
You're a nasty wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr FCC.

The three best words that best describe you,
Are as follows, and I quote"
Stink!
Stank!
Stunk!

You're a rotter Mr FCC
You're the king of sinful sots
Your hearts a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots
Mr FCC

Your sole is a appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr FCC
With a noxious super nos
You're a crooked jerky jockey and,
You drive a crooked horse
Mr FCC!

You're a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!


I was about to post a pic of the Grinch. Your post is better.
 
2014-06-24 12:00:26 PM  

slayer199: Tman144: If you want to blame anyone, blame congress. The job of the FCC is to set regulations that follow the law. It's congress's job to make the law. The net neutrality issue would be solved tomorrow if congress wanted to solve it.

Bullcrap.  Wheeler could have declared them Common Carriers and the problem would have been resolved.


Just like Reid could have ended the filibuster rule forever and broken the gridlock in Congress.

There are solutions.  I wonder why they are never implemented.
 
2014-06-24 12:05:22 PM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-24 12:15:03 PM  
Helpful? No. Entertaining? My inner child says yes.
 
2014-06-24 12:17:55 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: clambam: First of all, Hubbard was not a bad science fiction writer-
[img.fark.net image 500x338]


No, Hubbard was a typical, and successful science fiction writer of the "Silver Age" of science fiction: the 1940's and 50's. Let's just say literary standards of the time were not they could be. Try "Mission Earth" (all ten volumes) sometime. Schlocky space opera, sure, but the guy could write.
 
2014-06-24 12:18:31 PM  
Because copying and pasting old USENET flames is useful, huh?
 
2014-06-24 12:27:21 PM  

ampoliros: Tman144: This isn't the FCCs fault. The FCC had net neutrality rules in place that were struck down in court.
http://www.cnet.com/news/appeals-court-strikes-down-fccs-net-neutral it y-rules/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comcast_Corp._v._FCC


If you want to blame anyone, blame congress. The job of the FCC is to set regulations that follow the law. It's congress's job to make the law. The net neutrality issue would be solved tomorrow if congress wanted to solve it.

The FCC had been operating under "net neutrality" for some time. Then we got a new FCC Chair who was really chummy with the cable companies and a lawsuit that struck down neutrality. It appears the new FCC Chair has no intention of willingly going back to net neutrality.

Yes, Congress could solve this immediately but they wouldn't have to if the FCC hadn't been hog-tied and sold to the highest bidder.


The problem with the lawsuit was that the FCC tried to be milquetoast about making net neutrality rules in the first place. Instead of just saying "bam, common carrier, net neutrality, thank you very much," which would've actually worked, they tried to let the internet providers pretend to be "media" companies, instead of telecom providers. That's why the rule was struck down - the FCC (and hell, Congress as well) has been wishy-washy about whether common carrier rules should apply to ISPs, when clearly they should. All it takes to fix this mess and preserve net neutrality is either the FCC or Congress saying that all ISPs are common carriers and shall be regulated as such. Instead, as you've pointed out, the new FCC chair is running away from that option as far and as fast as possible.
 
2014-06-24 12:29:51 PM  

slayer199: Tman144: If you want to blame anyone, blame congress. The job of the FCC is to set regulations that follow the law. It's congress's job to make the law. The net neutrality issue would be solved tomorrow if congress wanted to solve it.

Bullcrap.  Wheeler could have declared them Common Carriers and the problem would have been resolved.


Not really.

First of all, the FCC is a commission, with a board. Wheeler can't just do whatever he wants, he needs the board to vote on it. At least 2 of the 5 board members are Republicans and will never vote for common carrier regs. Board members have to be confirmed by congress, so it's also highly likely that the other 2 board members, besides Wheeler, are at the very least, Republican friendly (remember the filibusters by the Republican Senate).

Second, if you look at the definitions in the law, it's pretty clear that internet providers are supposed to be defined as an "information service," which are not regulated as common carriers.

Third, there is already a Supreme Court decision confirming the FCC's prior classification of internet providers. With the current make-up of the court, do you really think it will rule against the big cable companies?
 
2014-06-24 01:13:12 PM  
I've always heard that phrase used as "Couldn't pour piss out of a boot...", is that just a regional thing?
 
2014-06-24 01:30:02 PM  
You are not ANSI compliant, and your markup is not validated.
 
2014-06-24 01:35:50 PM  
"You should be promoted to Engineering Manager"

Harsh words indeed.
 
2014-06-24 01:46:17 PM  

loonatic112358: wxboy: You're a mean one, Mr. FCC.

I started reading it in Boris Karloff's voice from that song, I see I'm not the only one


While Boris Karloff was the narrator for the Grinch, Thurl Ravenscroft (the voice of Tony the Tiger back in the day) provided his voice for the song...
 
2014-06-24 02:50:19 PM  
I can't believe this whole thing has gone as far as it has.  Ancient Roman leaders knew not to fark with the entertainment to avoid trouble.
 
2014-06-24 03:21:46 PM  
That reminded me of the old unix utility, abuse.
 
2014-06-24 04:06:17 PM  

Neondistraction: I've always heard that phrase used as "Couldn't pour piss out of a boot...", is that just a regional thing?


Yes, that variation occurs in regions where it's common to urinate in footwear. The water variation is for regions where it rains.
 
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