Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Atlantic)   English fan consoles Americans over Portugal result, assures them it's more fun this way   (theatlantic.com ) divider line 88
    More: Amusing, Clint Dempsey, shot on goal, group of death, usmnt, Edvard Munch, Klinsmann, Cards Against Humanity, Cristiano Ronaldo  
•       •       •

1694 clicks; posted to Sports » on 24 Jun 2014 at 12:00 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-06-23 10:45:29 PM  
Well, it is nice that the Germany game will mean something...
 
2014-06-24 12:14:19 AM  
Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.
 
2014-06-24 12:22:11 AM  
Ghana can knock us out of the WC for the 3 year in the row with a 2+ goal win and a US loss. Awesome.

Do they have any oil so we can invade them? I'd check but I don't know where they are on the map

/US public education
 
2014-06-24 01:24:09 AM  

m.quickmeme.comdookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.

 
2014-06-24 01:29:29 AM  
If we asked to have it easy, they'd call us "Canadian."

'Murica!
 
2014-06-24 01:33:52 AM  

dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.


I'm assuming you're nowhere near Los Angeles tonight.

¡Viva México!
 
2014-06-24 01:43:16 AM  

doyner: Well, it is nice that the Germany game will mean something...


My fear is that it will resemble nothing so much as the 1982 West Germany-Austria World Cup match. I doubt it will, but with Klinsmann being buddy-buddy with his old German pals and a guaranteed qualification for both teams with a tie the possibility looms. There is nothing to stop it from happening. FIFA has no rules preventing it.

dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.


Great, then us fans can continue to talk amongst ourselves without the likes of you dropping in to express your displeasure. We'll miss you. Really we will.
 
2014-06-24 01:45:57 AM  

cyberspacedout: dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.

I'm assuming you're nowhere near Los Angeles tonight.

¡Viva México!


They'll likely be slaughtered by the Netherlands, but any World Cup where the team advances out of the group stage is a success.
 
2014-06-24 02:05:50 AM  
Adolf Oliver Nipples:Great, then us fans can continue to talk amongst ourselves without the likes of you dropping in to express your displeasure. We'll miss you. Really we will.

Honesty I'd have thought the swarms of fake fans who only give a shiat because 'Murica would be more annoying than the haters.

Guess it depends how starved for attention you are.
 
2014-06-24 02:15:14 AM  
Nope still don't care :/
 
2014-06-24 02:57:56 AM  
Yes. Because America -- with its Red Sox, Cubs, Buffalo Bills, Atlanta Braves, Pittsburgh Pirates, NY Knicks, Cleveland ANYTHING and Team USA hockey fans -- knows nothing about the agony of defeat and needs a limey to explain it to them.
 
2014-06-24 03:20:34 AM  

Ishkur: Yes. Because America -- with its Red Sox, Cubs, Buffalo Bills, Atlanta Braves, Pittsburgh Pirates, NY Knicks, Cleveland ANYTHING and Team USA hockey fans -- knows nothing about the agony of defeat and needs a limey to explain it to them.


It's pretty funny that the US is better at England in soccer now. Last WC we basically were equal. That's gotta burn, but Brits kinda suck at sports, especially their own (soccer, rugby, and cricket). One of the few European nations that were too unathletic to compete in hockey and basketball as well.
 
2014-06-24 05:55:40 AM  
"a showdown between the unlikely underdogs from the world's superpower and the preening pompadours from a country that has a lower GDP than Missouri."

Both yay and boo, English dude, both yay and boo.
 
2014-06-24 06:03:56 AM  
Every time I watch a world cup game, I start rooting against the European teams just due to the announcers arrogant attitude.
 
2014-06-24 06:07:10 AM  

Nhojwolfe: Every time I watch a world cup game, I start rooting against the European teams just due to the announcers arrogant attitude.


How do you feel about Canadian hockey teams?
 
2014-06-24 06:13:32 AM  

dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.


No they will keep pushing it on us like its the next big thing, just around the corner! Don't miss out jumping on the bandwagon early! Its been the next big thing since the 70s.

Hell CBS sports radio was trying to say how huge the TV numbers were by combining English/Spanish speaking numbers to round up to 24.7M and touting how it almost outdrew the BCS!!!!!! No shiat, a once every 4 year event drew in more than a once a year event and you had to pull two different metrics to get that figure? What horseshiat.

Here is the biggest tell about how its not here or even around the corner, nobody has mentioned it at all, hell even the step kid and his friends went to play basketball rather than watch the USA game.

But yet all the young kids are salivating over the sport.
 
2014-06-24 06:19:07 AM  

steamingpile: dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.

No they will keep pushing it on us like its the next big thing, just around the corner! Don't miss out jumping on the bandwagon early! Its been the next big thing since the 70s.

Hell CBS sports radio was trying to say how huge the TV numbers were by combining English/Spanish speaking numbers to round up to 24.7M and touting how it almost outdrew the BCS!!!!!! No shiat, a once every 4 year event drew in more than a once a year event and you had to pull two different metrics to get that figure? What horseshiat.

Here is the biggest tell about how its not here or even around the corner, nobody has mentioned it at all, hell even the step kid and his friends went to play basketball rather than watch the USA game.

But yet all the young kids are salivating over the sport.


Nobody has mentioned it in bumfark Georgia, stop the presses! Keep farking that chicken steaming pile. The ratings are a conspiracy! Soccer is just as popular as it was in the 70s (thanks for showing your age), it's a fact. No major progress at all.
 
2014-06-24 06:21:18 AM  
No one cares about hockey because Alabama isn't all in with the NHL, what evidence!
 
2014-06-24 06:50:39 AM  

TheJoe03: No one cares about hockey because Alabama isn't all in with the NHL, what evidence!


No, but Alabama-Huntsville has a D-1 hockey program:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alabama-Huntsville_Chargers_men%27s_ice_ h ockey
 
2014-06-24 06:54:48 AM  
C'mon now. What would the English know about winning and soccer?
 
2014-06-24 07:03:03 AM  

UNC_Samurai: TheJoe03: No one cares about hockey because Alabama isn't all in with the NHL, what evidence!

No, but Alabama-Huntsville has a D-1 hockey program:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alabama-Huntsville_Chargers_men%27s_ice_ h ockey


Wow, how did that develop? It's the only D1 hockey team in the south, right?
 
2014-06-24 07:09:35 AM  

TheJoe03: UNC_Samurai: TheJoe03: No one cares about hockey because Alabama isn't all in with the NHL, what evidence!

No, but Alabama-Huntsville has a D-1 hockey program:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alabama-Huntsville_Chargers_men%27s_ice_ h ockey

Wow, how did that develop? It's the only D1 hockey team in the south, right?


I'm assuming because Hunstville has a significant population of well-off Yankee transplants working for the Army/NASA/contractors.
 
2014-06-24 08:22:48 AM  
Face it. This country only cares about four sports: football, baseball, basketball and hockey. There's no way the MLS will ever draw bigger numbers than the NBA or NHL, and there's certainly no way an MLS team could ever get a higher average attendance than beloved American cornerstones like the Yankees! That's crazy talk!

Oh, wait.
 
2014-06-24 08:27:23 AM  

WinoRhino: C'mon now. What would the English know about winning and soccer?


Or fun?
 
2014-06-24 08:28:22 AM  

dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.


You sir, can EABOD.
 
2014-06-24 08:29:32 AM  

ciderczar: Face it. This country only cares about four sports: football, baseball, basketball and hockey. There's no way the MLS will ever draw bigger numbers than the NBA or NHL, and there's certainly no way an MLS team could ever get a higher average attendance than beloved American cornerstones like the Yankees! That's crazy talk!

Oh, wait.


Eh, those numbers are misleading and don't mean much. I mean, the NBA and NHL play in indoor stadiums with small playing surfaces. That makes it harder to build massive stadiums to watch them in. Also, the real money for those sports is the tv rights. The big money teams don't have to have big stadiums- Fenway holds like 35K. No, the Red Sox get their money from NESN.

Show me ratings for MLS vs NHL/MLB/NFL/NBA, and then make you're argument.
 
2014-06-24 08:31:47 AM  
The US Portugal game was the first soccer game I was able to watch from start to finish. I thought that both teams were well coached and played with heart.  They both had plays and strategies that even a noob like me could recognize and appreciate.  It was a good game and will do more to increase soccer in the US than any other game played in the world cup.

/the Black US player with florescent shoes who played offense and defense is by far the best player on the US team.
 
2014-06-24 08:33:37 AM  
The Americans should call up Germany and say, "you know what, let's go out and kick the ball around for 90 minutes, no goals no aggression. We'll both advance. That's the point. Set aside your pride and relax to get ready for the knockout round. If we draw we both win so let's go out there and shake hands and play footsie."
 
2014-06-24 08:36:58 AM  

bigsteve3OOO: The US Portugal game was the first soccer game I was able to watch from start to finish. I thought that both teams were well coached and played with heart.  They both had plays and strategies that even a noob like me could recognize and appreciate.  It was a good game and will do more to increase soccer in the US than any other game played in the world cup.

/the Black US player with florescent shoes who played offense and defense is by far the best player on the US team.


Jermaine Jones or Damarcus Beasley?

If you're talking about the dude that scored in the Portugal game, that's Jermaine Jones.

If you're talking about the bald guy that kept running near the sidelines, that's Damarcus Beasley.
 
2014-06-24 08:38:12 AM  

Suflig: The Americans should call up Germany and say, "you know what, let's go out and kick the ball around for 90 minutes, no goals no aggression. We'll both advance. That's the point. Set aside your pride and relax to get ready for the knockout round. If we draw we both win so let's go out there and shake hands and play footsie."


I think that'd be too obvious. They need to do something like:  Germany, you get major possession in the first half and can score a goal.  After a 'amazing half time speech', US comes out, controls in the second half and manages to even up the score.  Game ends in a draw.
 
2014-06-24 08:39:32 AM  

Publikwerks: ciderczar: Face it. This country only cares about four sports: football, baseball, basketball and hockey. There's no way the MLS will ever draw bigger numbers than the NBA or NHL, and there's certainly no way an MLS team could ever get a higher average attendance than beloved American cornerstones like the Yankees! That's crazy talk!

Oh, wait.

Eh, those numbers are misleading and don't mean much. I mean, the NBA and NHL play in indoor stadiums with small playing surfaces. That makes it harder to build massive stadiums to watch them in. Also, the real money for those sports is the tv rights. The big money teams don't have to have big stadiums- Fenway holds like 35K. No, the Red Sox get their money from NESN.

Show me ratings for MLS vs NHL/MLB/NFL/NBA, and then make you're argument.


You're too calm and rational, that's no fun. I agree with you that attendance is skewed towards outdoor sports, but it's still a positive sign for the growth of the MLS in general, especially in the Pacific Northwest. On television they're still a ways away. Getting three games a year on broadcast television doesn't help, and most television fans would rather watch European leagues, but they're improving. At best they're just below the NHL in ratings, and less than half them for revenue, but given how few ads there are in a soccer broadcast I'm not too surprised by that.
 
2014-06-24 08:40:27 AM  

mainstreet62: bigsteve3OOO: The US Portugal game was the first soccer game I was able to watch from start to finish. I thought that both teams were well coached and played with heart.  They both had plays and strategies that even a noob like me could recognize and appreciate.  It was a good game and will do more to increase soccer in the US than any other game played in the world cup.

/the Black US player with florescent shoes who played offense and defense is by far the best player on the US team.

Jermaine Jones or Damarcus Beasley?

If you're talking about the dude that scored in the Portugal game, that's Jermaine Jones.

If you're talking about the bald guy that kept running near the sidelines, that's Damarcus Beasley.


He played on the left side.  (bottom of the screen)  when the ball came anywhere near him it went away from our goal and toward Portugal's every single time.  He did not make any mistake not even once and was playing seemingly more aggressive than the rest of both teams.  But that's a noob opinion.  He could have been jamming up everything trying to showboat.  I thought his play was brilliant.
 
2014-06-24 08:44:53 AM  

Publikwerks: I mean, the NBA and NHL play in indoor stadiums with small playing surfaces.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Major_League_Soccer_stadiums

Only CenturyLink (which is home to the Seahawks) has a higher capacity than the same 17-23,000 average that NBA and NHL teams have. If you're going to poke holes in his argument, point out the difference in the number of games played (34 vs. 82).  As for TV ratings...
 
2014-06-24 08:50:25 AM  

dookdookdook: Adolf Oliver Nipples:Great, then us fans can continue to talk amongst ourselves without the likes of you dropping in to express your displeasure. We'll miss you. Really we will.

Honesty I'd have thought the swarms of fake fans who only give a shiat because 'Murica would be more annoying than the haters.

Guess it depends how starved for attention you are.


Why would they be annoying? They watch, cheer along, some will start watching MLS or EPL or another league and then they won't be, to use your term, "fake".
 
2014-06-24 09:05:41 AM  

2BuckChuck: Ghana can knock us out of the WC for the 3 year in the row with a 2+ goal win and a US loss. Awesome.

Do they have any oil so we can invade them? I'd check but I don't know where they are on the map

/US public education


I've predicted that Ghana will keep us in the World Cup this year. They score a late equalizer aginst Portugal while the US is getting smoked by the Germans and low and behold the US backs into the knock out round.
 
2014-06-24 09:07:38 AM  
Americans will watch world class soccer where we have a rooting interest.

Unfortunately, that only happens once every 4 years.

I wish the billionaires of the world could unite and form a huge, top-level club league that reaches into England, Spain, Italy, Germany, and the US (and others)

Rather than disparate leagues in separate counties who mean in a tourney played in the off days of their main leagues.

That would be great.  Yeah I can latch onto Barca or Swansea or Inter or whatever and it's nice to a point, but it's not like watching the Flyers or Eagles or Team USA.

As an American, I'm more a fan of individual players and follow them, than I am a big fan of a team.

And no, the MLS doesn't do it.  I probably wouldn't go to a Union match with free tickets.
 
2014-06-24 09:18:58 AM  

2BuckChuck: Ghana can knock us out of the WC for the 3 year in the row with a 2+ goal win and a US loss. Awesome.

Do they have any oil so we can invade them? I'd check but I don't know where they are on the map

/US public education


Both teams have to score a few goals to move ahead in goal differential, but Portugal has the most work to do to catch up to the US. I can see them getting off to the fast start.

Portugal will win their game against Ghana, but not score enough goals to advance. They'll have to rely on the US imploding against Germany.

As for the US, well.......they're playing one of the best teams in the tournament. I would just focus on defense and letting in as few goals as possible.

Then again, this is the team that almost beat Portugal, and DID beat a Ghana team that almost beat Germany. Maybe the US will surprise the world on Thursday with a win.

As for where Ghana is on a map, ask that Miss Teen USA contestant.
 
2014-06-24 09:21:44 AM  
USMNT >> ENFT

That is all.
 
2014-06-24 09:21:52 AM  
NBC pays more money and gets bigger ratings for the premier league than MLS, soccer's place in American sports and MLS 's place are two different things.
 
2014-06-24 09:25:25 AM  
The US team really could use a decent nickname, though. USMNT doesn't stack up to even something as benign as "3 lions"
 
2014-06-24 09:31:22 AM  

Lost Thought 00: The US team really could use a decent nickname, though. USMNT doesn't stack up to even something as benign as "3 lions"


I've heard people refer to them as 'The Yanks', but I'm not sure if that's a real nickname or not...
 
2014-06-24 09:35:27 AM  

Mr_H: Lost Thought 00: The US team really could use a decent nickname, though. USMNT doesn't stack up to even something as benign as "3 lions"

I've heard people refer to them as 'The Yanks', but I'm not sure if that's a real nickname or not...


Univision routinely refers to them as the "Stars and Stripes"
 
2014-06-24 09:42:10 AM  
Thirty freeking seconds
 
2014-06-24 09:47:08 AM  

TheJoe03: steamingpile: dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.

No they will keep pushing it on us like its the next big thing, just around the corner! Don't miss out jumping on the bandwagon early! Its been the next big thing since the 70s.

Hell CBS sports radio was trying to say how huge the TV numbers were by combining English/Spanish speaking numbers to round up to 24.7M and touting how it almost outdrew the BCS!!!!!! No shiat, a once every 4 year event drew in more than a once a year event and you had to pull two different metrics to get that figure? What horseshiat.

Here is the biggest tell about how its not here or even around the corner, nobody has mentioned it at all, hell even the step kid and his friends went to play basketball rather than watch the USA game.

But yet all the young kids are salivating over the sport.

Nobody has mentioned it in bumfark Georgia, stop the presses! Keep farking that chicken steaming pile. The ratings are a conspiracy! Soccer is just as popular as it was in the 70s (thanks for showing your age), it's a fact. No major progress at all.


For most it is just about as popular as it was then, the point is the groundswell everyone says is happening is a myth. Otherwise its been a slow build since the 70s when they sold out stadiums I guess and I was a baby then so I just found an old SI article about how soccer has arrived and will conquer the US. Try Google, this shiat has been going on forever but keep screaming its going to be huge soon!

The percentage is not much different then than it is now, maybe one day it will be close to hockey ratings but fact remains for a once every 4 years event its just not that huge.
 
2014-06-24 09:50:31 AM  

Princip's Sandwich: Mr_H: Lost Thought 00: The US team really could use a decent nickname, though. USMNT doesn't stack up to even something as benign as "3 lions"

I've heard people refer to them as 'The Yanks', but I'm not sure if that's a real nickname or not...

Univision routinely refers to them as the "Stars and Stripes"


I thought we were doing U.S. Mutant Ninja Turles?
 
2014-06-24 09:52:45 AM  

dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.


or guess what? you can totally ignore all soccer/world cup threads and go post in something else.
it is only once every 4 years so dont farking ruin it for everyone with the dumb post.


nyseattitude: Thirty freeking seconds


yes i was farking screaming at my tv the last 5 mins..."get it out of there, get it out of there....ok 30 secs lef....wait on no!!!!!! farking big Z in his fro man!
 
2014-06-24 09:59:26 AM  

dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.


Honestly I feel this way as well, but I'm ashamed of it.

Chance to bond with Yankee and Oriole and Jet fans and cheer for the same team, like the Olympics, and I can't do it.

And we're not going to "blow it" at this point. We're very likely to advance and making it to the next round is clearly a successful World Cup for this team.
 
2014-06-24 10:03:36 AM  
Watching our team is like watching The Walking Dead.  Just screaming at the people on the tv to stop doing stupid things.  Seems like whenever we're tied or up, we play not to lose.  And guess what?  We end up losing or losing a lead.  Seems like we're a lot better when on the attack, not sure why we wanted to play defense so bad when it seems like defense is our weak link.  And passing the ball backwards constantly to set up a play that is never run.  Frustrating and makes it hard for this non-fan to stay interested.
 
2014-06-24 10:03:48 AM  

dookdookdook: Can't effing wait for America to finally officially blow it so I can stop hearing about soccer for another 4 years.


You wouldn't happen to be a NASCAR fan would you?
 
2014-06-24 10:12:20 AM  
Ishkur: Yes. Because America -- with its Red Sox, Cubs, Buffalo Bills, Atlanta Braves, Pittsburgh Pirates, NY Knicks, Cleveland ANYTHING and Team USA hockey fans -- knows nothing about the agony of defeat and needs a limey to explain it to them.

Seriously, this clown should try being a Detroit Lions fan for five minutes.
 
Displayed 50 of 88 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report