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(FIFA)   Can your heart take two games at once? It's do-or-die time as group play ends in Group B (12:00pm) and Group A (4:00pm) on Day 12 of the 2014 World Cup   (fifa.com) divider line 1021
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218 clicks; posted to Sports » on 23 Jun 2014 at 11:00 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



1021 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-06-23 06:33:13 AM  
Thrill at the 0-0 ties.

Chill as men who never came within one nautical mile of one another pretend to have collided hard and roll around on the ground with reckless abandon.

Spill your beer as you fall asleep waiting for anything at all to happen.
 
2014-06-23 07:33:09 AM  
36.media.tumblr.com

No reason to make a chart for Group B. Netherlands win the group with a win/draw, Chile with a win.
 
2014-06-23 07:34:01 AM  

doglover: Thrill at the 0-0 ties.


I can name multiple times that a team has scored in a football game.  In-fact, the objective of the game is to score the most goals.  Troll harder.

doglover: Chill as men who never came within one nautical mile of one another pretend to have collided hard and roll around on the ground with reckless abandon.


Most dives have most certainly occurred within one nautical mile, since the football field is no longer than 120 meters.  Troll harder.

doglover: Spill your beer as you fall asleep waiting for anything at all to happen.


Why would someone spill their beer and fall asleep if you cannot score any goals by doing this?  Did you even think before you posted?  Troll harder.

your random numbers are: 3 9 27 31 46 51
 
2014-06-23 08:07:23 AM  
I can't tell which is more annoying, the douchebags who think that all Americans are brutes who don't care about soccer, or the douchebags who try to prove them right.

/oh wait, I know, it's my douchebag former student who spent the whole game posting pro-Portugal propaganda because he is a soccer hipster who doesn't want it to become popular in the US
//but really because he's reflexively anti-American
///btw, when Mike_LowELL tells you to troll harder, you done failed, son
 
2014-06-23 08:12:04 AM  
RminusQ:

Who?
 
2014-06-23 08:24:23 AM  

RminusQ: ///btw, when Mike_LowELL tells you to troll harder, you done failed, son


Seriously, that idiot could not have failed any harder.

RminusQ: /oh wait, I know, it's my douchebag former student who spent the whole game posting pro-Portugal propaganda because he is a soccer hipster who doesn't want it to become popular in the US


Really? That happened?

So he knows about your pop quiz at the end of the year now?
 
2014-06-23 08:35:21 AM  

RminusQ: [36.media.tumblr.com image 659x161]

No reason to make a chart for Group B. Netherlands win the group with a win/draw, Chile with a win.


Explain to someone who just woke up 15 minutes ago and is waiting for coffee to finish brewing.
 
2014-06-23 08:37:30 AM  

Nadie_AZ: RminusQ: [36.media.tumblr.com image 659x161]

No reason to make a chart for Group B. Netherlands win the group with a win/draw, Chile with a win.

Explain to someone who just woke up 15 minutes ago and is waiting for coffee to finish brewing.


Both teams have 2 wins, 6 points.

The other 2 teams in the group, Australia and Spain (!), have 0 points. It's impossible for them to advance, unless a win is suddenly worth 7 points.
 
2014-06-23 08:41:05 AM  

mainstreet62: Nadie_AZ: RminusQ: [36.media.tumblr.com image 659x161]

No reason to make a chart for Group B. Netherlands win the group with a win/draw, Chile with a win.

Explain to someone who just woke up 15 minutes ago and is waiting for coffee to finish brewing.

Both teams have 2 wins, 6 points.

The other 2 teams in the group, Australia and Spain (!), have 0 points. It's impossible for them to advance, unless a win is suddenly worth 7 points.


I meant Mexico and Brazil. How can Mexico advance?
 
2014-06-23 08:46:40 AM  

Nadie_AZ: I meant Mexico and Brazil. How can Mexico advance?


Mexico advances with a win or draw, they're out if they lose.

They can win the group if they win their game by 2 or more goals than what Brazil scores on Cameroon.

Example 1: MEX over CRO 3-0, BRA over CMR 1-0, Mexico wins the group.

Example 2: MEX over CRO 2-0, BRA over CMR 1-0, Brazil wins the group.
 
2014-06-23 08:49:54 AM  

mainstreet62: Nadie_AZ: I meant Mexico and Brazil. How can Mexico advance?

Mexico advances with a win or draw, they're out if they lose.

They can win the group if they win their game by 2 or more goals than what Brazil scores on Cameroon.

Example 1: MEX over CRO 3-0, BRA over CMR 1-0, Mexico wins the group.

Example 2: MEX over CRO 2-0, BRA over CMR 1-0, Brazil wins the group.


Win, draw or go home. Got it.
 
2014-06-23 08:52:27 AM  
The more I think about it, the more I think the U.S. is screwed, Nate Silver's odds notwithstanding. I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana and then Germany scores in about the 75th minute to knock the Yanks.

Such a farking deflating ending.
 
2014-06-23 09:07:05 AM  
dartben: I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana

I don't know, this is a different team that laid down for Germany.
 
2014-06-23 09:11:11 AM  

Nadie_AZ: dartben: I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana

I don't know, this is a different team that laid down for Germany.


They were so excited about staying alive that they looked like someone killed their dogs after scoring that last goal. That is a team that has given up, while Ghana looked outright impressive against Germany.

I hope I'm wrong, but I wouldn't count on any help from Portugal on Thursday.
 
2014-06-23 09:13:30 AM  

dartben: The more I think about it, the more I think the U.S. is screwed, Nate Silver's odds notwithstanding. I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana and then Germany scores in about the 75th minute to knock the Yanks.


Pretty much how I see it ending. Best two teams go forward.

Here's the scenarios for every group broken down  http://msn.foxsports.com/soccer/story/five-points-every-scenario-you- n eed-to-know-ahead-of-the-final-world-cup-matchday-062314?cmpid=tsmfb:f scom:foxsoccer

I am sick of Brazil, so I kind of hope de Oranje draw them and can knock them out in the round of 16.

Will be cheering Mandzukic today, hoping he can score a few more and knock out Mexico before they even get that far.
 
2014-06-23 09:26:35 AM  
What a fantastic World Cup this has been.

Titans have fallen, upsets and goals abound.

Now I dash from the thread and wait out the day in media quarantine. I'll watch the games tonight.
 
2014-06-23 09:34:58 AM  

marius2: dartben: The more I think about it, the more I think the U.S. is screwed, Nate Silver's odds notwithstanding. I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana and then Germany scores in about the 75th minute to knock the Yanks.

Pretty much how I see it ending. Best two teams go forward.

Here's the scenarios for every group broken down  http://msn.foxsports.com/soccer/story/five-points-every-scenario-you- n eed-to-know-ahead-of-the-final-world-cup-matchday-062314?cmpid=tsmfb:f scom:foxsoccer

I am sick of Brazil, so I kind of hope de Oranje draw them and can knock them out in the round of 16.

Will be cheering Mandzukic today, hoping he can score a few more and knock out Mexico before they even get that far.


I'm going to revel in schafenfruede when Germany gets knocked out. Apparently the German exchange students on Community were not just exaggerated stereotypes...
 
2014-06-23 09:38:35 AM  

dartben: The more I think about it, the more I think the U.S. is screwed, Nate Silver's odds notwithstanding. I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana and then Germany scores in about the 75th minute to knock the Yanks.

Such a farking deflating ending.


Portugal has the most work to do if they want to advance. They'll win their game 3-0 but it won't be enough if the US loses 2-1 to Germany.

Don't worry so much. If there's anything I've learned at this World Cup, it's that anything can happen, the US is no longer a pushover, and that they can hold their own against 2 very good teams.

The US may even beat Germany the way they're playing right now.
 
2014-06-23 09:43:54 AM  
dartben:

I'm going to revel in schafenfruede when Germany gets knocked out. Apparently the German exchange students on Community were not just exaggerated stereotypes...

I'd say that statistically it's almost impossible, but this world cup has been full of surprises, so I don't know what to believe anymore.
 
2014-06-23 09:46:41 AM  

marius2: dartben:

I'm going to revel in schafenfruede when Germany gets knocked out. Apparently the German exchange students on Community were not just exaggerated stereotypes...

I'd say that statistically it's almost impossible, but this world cup has been full of surprises, so I don't know what to believe anymore.


Exceptionally entertaining. Just enjoy the ride.
 
2014-06-23 09:48:03 AM  

marius2: dartben:

I'm going to revel in schafenfruede when Germany gets knocked out. Apparently the German exchange students on Community were not just exaggerated stereotypes...

I'd say that statistically it's almost impossible, but this world cup has been full of surprises, so I don't know what to believe anymore.


Nate Silver has Germany's chance at advancing at 99.7%, the US is somewhere around 75%.
 
2014-06-23 09:51:53 AM  

Nadie_AZ: mainstreet62: Nadie_AZ: I meant Mexico and Brazil. How can Mexico advance?

Mexico advances with a win or draw, they're out if they lose.

They can win the group if they win their game by 2 or more goals than what Brazil scores on Cameroon.

Example 1: MEX over CRO 3-0, BRA over CMR 1-0, Mexico wins the group.

Example 2: MEX over CRO 2-0, BRA over CMR 1-0, Brazil wins the group.

Win, draw or go home. Got it.


[pedantic technicality] If they lose, and Brazil loses by a much bigger margin, Mexico can still sneak in as second place. [/pedantic technicality]

Exhaustive list of in/out scenarios (for 1st vs 2nd, see graphic above)
Brazil
In with (a) win/draw; (b) MEX win; (c) MEX loss by greater or equal margin; (d) MEX loss by 1 fewer goal than BRA, with BRA scoring equal, greater, or 1 fewer goal than MEX; (e) MEX loss by 1 fewer than BRA, with BRA scoring 2 fewer goals than MEX and win the coin flip.
Out with (a) loss and MEX/CRO draw; (b) loss by 2+ more goals than MEX's loss; (c) loss by 1 more goal than MEX's loss, scoring 3+ fewer goals than MEX; (d) loss by 1 more goal than MEX's loss, scoring 2 fewer goals then MEX and lose the coin flip.

Mexico
In with (a) win/draw; (b) loss and BRA loss by 2+ more goals; (c) loss and BRA loss by 1 more goal, with MEX scoring 3+ more goals than BRA; (d) loss and BRA loss by 1 more goal, with MEX scoring 2 more goals than BRA and win the coin flip.
Out with (a) loss and BRA win/draw; (b) loss by equal or greater margin than BRA's loss; (c) loss and BRA loss by 1 more goal, with MEX scoring 3+ more goals than BRA; (d) loss and BRA loss by 1 more goal, with MEX scoring 2 more goals than BRA and lose the coin flip

Croatia
In with (a) win; (b) draw and BRA loss
Out with (a) loss; (b) draw and BRA win/draw

Cameroon
In with (a) stadium collapse that kills both MEX and CRO
 
2014-06-23 09:56:24 AM  

RminusQ: Cameroon
In with (a) stadium collapse that kills both MEX and CRO


Where is Mex and Cro playing? ;-)
 
2014-06-23 09:58:27 AM  

Nadie_AZ: RminusQ: Cameroon
In with (a) stadium collapse that kills both MEX and CRO

Where is Mex and Cro playing? ;-)


LOL
 
2014-06-23 11:02:45 AM  

dartben: The more I think about it, the more I think the U.S. is screwed, Nate Silver's odds notwithstanding. I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana and then Germany scores in about the 75th minute to knock the Yanks.

Such a farking deflating ending.


There's that never-say-die attitude that made this nation great
 
2014-06-23 11:04:15 AM  

dartben: The more I think about it, the more I think the U.S. is screwed, Nate Silver's odds notwithstanding. I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana and then Germany scores in about the 75th minute to knock the Yanks.

Such a farking deflating ending.


I think there's a nonzero chance that Germany and the US just pull the Algerian Shuffle and go through together. Germany has zero incentive to go for the win other than sheer pride. The US's only incentive to go for the win, other than pride, is the right to play Algeria/Russia/South Korea instead of Belgium. If they draw, it doesn't matter what Ghana and Portugal do.
 
2014-06-23 11:06:56 AM  

RminusQ: Nadie_AZ: mainstreet62: Nadie_AZ: I meant Mexico and Brazil. How can Mexico advance?

Mexico advances with a win or draw, they're out if they lose.

They can win the group if they win their game by 2 or more goals than what Brazil scores on Cameroon.

Example 1: MEX over CRO 3-0, BRA over CMR 1-0, Mexico wins the group.

Example 2: MEX over CRO 2-0, BRA over CMR 1-0, Brazil wins the group.

Win, draw or go home. Got it.

[pedantic technicality] If they lose, and Brazil loses by a much bigger margin, Mexico can still sneak in as second place. [/pedantic technicality]

Exhaustive list of in/out scenarios (for 1st vs 2nd, see graphic above)


And here are the probabilities, according to fivethirtyeight.com

Cameroon has been eliminated
Brazil wins and Mexico wins (27.9%): Both advance. Brazil wins the group UNLESS Mexico's victory is by two or more goals more than Brazil's win OR Mexico's victory is by one goal more than Brazil's win AND Mexico scores three or more goals more than Brazil.  If Mexico's victory is by one goal more than Brazil's win AND Mexico scores two goals more than Brazil, the winner of Group A will be decided by coin toss.

Brazil wins and Mexico draws (27%): Both advance. Brazil wins the group.

Brazil wins and Mexico loses (34.2%): Brazil wins the group. Croatia advances second.

Brazil draws or loses and Mexico wins (3.1%): Both advance. Mexico wins the group.

Brazil draws and Mexico draws (2.4%): Both advance. Brazil wins the group.

Brazil draws and Mexico loses (3.0%): Brazil advances. Croatia wins the group.

Brazil loses and Mexico draws (0.6%): Mexico wins the group.  Croatia advances.

Brazil loses and Mexico loses (0.8%): Croatia wins the group. Brazil advances unless their loss is two or more goals worse than Mexico's loss OR Brazil's loss is one goal worse than Mexico's loss and Mexico scores three or more goals than Brazil.  If Brazil's loss is one goal worse than Mexico's loss AND Mexico scores two more goals than Brazil, the advancing team will be decided by coin toss.
 
2014-06-23 11:08:13 AM  
Time will tell
 
2014-06-23 11:10:03 AM  
Kind of a bummer this Netherlands-Chile match doesn't have much on the line.
 
2014-06-23 11:12:40 AM  

JerseyTim: Kind of a bummer this Netherlands-Chile match doesn't have much on the line.


It helps to win the group.
 
2014-06-23 11:13:57 AM  
Advancement tables for all the upcoming group finals. Shamelessly stolen from reddit, which most likely stolen from elsewhere
 
2014-06-23 11:20:13 AM  

HaywoodJablonski: dartben: The more I think about it, the more I think the U.S. is screwed, Nate Silver's odds notwithstanding. I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana and then Germany scores in about the 75th minute to knock the Yanks.

Such a farking deflating ending.

There's that never-say-die attitude that made this nation great


I'm not on the team, I'm a fan making a prediction.

My being able to face reality has literally no effect on the game itself.
 
2014-06-23 11:20:27 AM  

Gosling: dartben: The more I think about it, the more I think the U.S. is screwed, Nate Silver's odds notwithstanding. I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana and then Germany scores in about the 75th minute to knock the Yanks.

Such a farking deflating ending.

I think there's a nonzero chance that Germany and the US just pull the Algerian Shuffle and go through together. Germany has zero incentive to go for the win other than sheer pride. The US's only incentive to go for the win, other than pride, is the right to play Algeria/Russia/South Korea instead of Belgium. If they draw, it doesn't matter what Ghana and Portugal do.


And throw in all the German ties on the USA team (Jurgen being the former German WC coach and being good friends with the current GER staff) and there might be an unspoken agreement to just end it a draw.
 
2014-06-23 11:20:33 AM  
cdn.kaltura.com
2l7kr2xl4t7418ewd3w7ur01d2m.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
www.pipeyanguas.net
 
2014-06-23 11:21:04 AM  
I can't upload pics to Fark today. Dialog box is greyed out.

Hmm.

GET YOUR FFPL PREDICTIONS IN.
 
2014-06-23 11:21:54 AM  
bntp-production.imgix.net

+

www.superartists.com

=

news.bbcimg.co.uk
 
2014-06-23 11:22:34 AM  
i.kinja-img.com
 
2014-06-23 11:22:37 AM  
How's overall viewership where you guys live? Yesterday in downtown Orlando there as many people out for the game as there are on any big holiday. It was pretty unbelievable.

For the non US games it's pretty damn popular still.
 
2014-06-23 11:23:33 AM  
Well that was supposed to be a GIF.

Oh well.
 
2014-06-23 11:24:47 AM  
 
2014-06-23 11:24:49 AM  

WienerButt: How's overall viewership where you guys live? Yesterday in downtown Orlando there as many people out for the game as there are on any big holiday. It was pretty unbelievable.

For the non US games it's pretty damn popular still.


Well the white people will go see the US games. The everyone else will go see all of them.
 
2014-06-23 11:26:05 AM  
Im still in mourning over the 95th farking minute.  I thought 4 stoppage was the maximum.  when brotherman flashed 5, i was like, huh?  and then they farking cashed that shiat in.

my wife officially has a boner for Cristiano Ronaldo.  Everytime they showed him she'd be like, "god, he is so pretty!  I want him!"
 
2014-06-23 11:27:31 AM  

doglover: Thrill at the 0-0 ties.

Chill as men who never came within one nautical mile of one another pretend to have collided hard and roll around on the ground with reckless abandon.

Spill your beer as you fall asleep waiting for anything at all to happen.


Um, I like watching soccer. I enjoy that there isn't a break in the action every 5 seconds so that GM and Toyota can tell me how low their financing is on the latest SUVs, Dominoes can tell me how much better their Pizza has gotten and Capital One can ask what's in my wallet.

It's 45-50 minutes of anything can happen, followed by a piss and smoke break, then another 45-50 minutes of anything can happen.

The world cup makes it even better because national pride is at stake and it only happens every 4 years.
 
2014-06-23 11:28:49 AM  

Gosling: dartben: The more I think about it, the more I think the U.S. is screwed, Nate Silver's odds notwithstanding. I think Portugal gets steamrolled by Ghana and then Germany scores in about the 75th minute to knock the Yanks.

Such a farking deflating ending.

I think there's a nonzero chance that Germany and the US just pull the Algerian Shuffle and go through together. Germany has zero incentive to go for the win other than sheer pride. The US's only incentive to go for the win, other than pride, is the right to play Algeria/Russia/South Korea instead of Belgium. If they draw, it doesn't matter what Ghana and Portugal do.


Its important to win the group, often. Because the winner gets to play whoever came second the next round. Which statistically is an easier match.

So all speaks for Germany wanting to close it down early.

Sure, if it's 0-0 with 20 minutes to go, then they probably stop taking too many chances.
 
2014-06-23 11:29:05 AM  
I really hope we end up in a scenario where lots are drawn to determine advancement
 
2014-06-23 11:29:49 AM  
Can someone tell me what Michael Bradley does besides give the ball away and miss easy chances? Is there really no one in the US set up who is better? I would almost rather have lard ass Landon in there over him.
 
2014-06-23 11:31:03 AM  

rickythepenguin: Im still in mourning over the 95th farking minute.  I thought 4 stoppage was the maximum.  when brotherman flashed 5, i was like, huh?  and then they farking cashed that shiat in.

my wife officially has a boner for Cristiano Ronaldo.  Everytime they showed him she'd be like, "god, he is so pretty!  I want him!"


To be fair, as a middle aged lifelong heterosexual male, he's gorgeous
 
2014-06-23 11:32:04 AM  

SigmaAlgebra: Can someone tell me what Michael Bradley does besides give the ball away and miss easy chances? Is there really no one in the US set up who is better? I would almost rather have lard ass Landon in there over him.


He was invisible in the Ghana game, and terrible in this one, but he should have biatch slapped Jeremy Schaap.
 
2014-06-23 11:33:17 AM  

star_topology: This is really frikkin' cool.

VINE:  Here's what Twitter looked like during the final two goals in USA vs. Portugal (Source: @TwitterData)


Neat.  What's the difference between red and blue?
 
2014-06-23 11:34:01 AM  

midpoint: I can't upload pics to Fark today. Dialog box is greyed out.


I had an issue in another thread. I thought it was just me.

Crewmannumber6: Time will tell


Amen. I was trying to memorize all of the scenarios (for the US and for today's games) and then realized I can just wait until the games are over. That's so much easier!
 
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