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(Mirror.co.uk)   I see here on your resume you spent 17 years on Mars protecting five human colonies from Martians. Well, thanks for coming in; we'll be in touch   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 89
    More: Unlikely, U.S. Marines, marchers, Scott Ware, Donald Rumsfeld  
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11638 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jun 2014 at 10:55 PM (10 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



89 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-22 08:47:14 PM
How did this guy even get a security clearance? Those missions were highly classified, you can't just put them on your C.V. They used to tell you that when you got discharged.
 
2014-06-22 09:17:34 PM
He's lucky to be alive. I hear there are some real arseholes in the E.D.F
th02.deviantart.net
 
2014-06-22 09:27:28 PM
Leaked photo of the base:

i62.tinypic.com
 
2014-06-22 09:38:14 PM
"Captain Kaye says he retired after a 20 year tour of duty, describing a retirement ceremony on the moon that he claims was presided over by VIPs including ex-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld."          


Well, if he says Rumsfeld was on the moon, then I'm inclined to believe him...
 
2014-06-22 09:39:02 PM
Earth years or Mars years?
 
2014-06-22 10:56:49 PM
Haven't we all padded our resume a little?  I put I type 100 wpm but realistically, I probably average 85 or 90.  17 years in Arizona/Mars what's the diff?
 
2014-06-22 10:57:47 PM
I found his picture after a brief GIS:

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-22 11:04:14 PM
I wonder if it was a stand up fight, or a "bug" hunt?


/ never had a thing for Ripley
 
2014-06-22 11:07:53 PM
" ex-naval infantryman, "
See...that is more incredulous than him spending time on Mars. A Marine would NEVER allow someone to call him ex-navy anything.
 
2014-06-22 11:10:32 PM
Time lord victorious?
 
2014-06-22 11:13:20 PM
This is part of the secret Obama health care program.
 
2014-06-22 11:14:44 PM
Michael Valentine Smith?
 
2014-06-22 11:14:46 PM

EvilEgg: How did this guy even get a security clearance? Those missions were highly classified, you can't just put them on your C.V. They used to tell you that when you got discharged.


That memory was supposed to be erased. However when he went to REKAL who advertised they could artificially give him the experience of being on Mars, his suppressed memories surfaced.

www.geekmundo.net
 
2014-06-22 11:16:23 PM

MrBallou: Leaked photo of the base:

[i62.tinypic.com image 320x217]


Here's an overhead view.

www.abandonia.com
 
2014-06-22 11:16:47 PM
Sounds even more ridiculous than the crap made up by Phil Schneider.
 
2014-06-22 11:17:39 PM
Sounds like a farking skinjob. How come no has hooked him up to the Voight-Kampff yet?
 
2014-06-22 11:20:12 PM

Roook: Haven't we all padded our resume a little?  I put I type 100 wpm but realistically, I probably average 85 or 90.  17 years in Arizona/Mars what's the diff?


Yeah, even if what he's claiming is only half-true... that's still pretty impressive.
 
2014-06-22 11:21:14 PM
Only five?  He must have been there before 2006.
 
2014-06-22 11:24:25 PM
How expensive are the strippers up there?
 
2014-06-22 11:25:43 PM
begojohnson.files.wordpress.com

Begs to differ.
 
2014-06-22 11:26:24 PM

Bslim: Sounds like a farking skinjob. How come no has hooked him up to the Voight-Kampff yet?


Nice
 
2014-06-22 11:26:54 PM
Umm, how about a little "thank you for your service"? Am I right?
 
2014-06-22 11:27:20 PM

focusthis: How expensive are the strippers up there?


Expensive, but better than the leather goddesses from Upper Sandusky.
 
2014-06-22 11:29:28 PM
Five?
So he's not aware of the bases on Phobos and Deimos?
The ones run by Union Aerospace.
Poor fool.
 
2014-06-22 11:30:06 PM

focusthis: How expensive are the strippers up there?


About 50% more.
 
2014-06-22 11:34:10 PM
Well that's great I guess, but what exactly does that qualify him for?
 
2014-06-22 11:40:38 PM
We have done better......

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-22 11:40:44 PM

tinyarena: Well that's great I guess, but what exactly does that qualify him for?


A straightjacket and some thorazine?
 
2014-06-22 11:42:21 PM
See, if he were for real, he'd be calling it Barsoom...
 
2014-06-22 11:42:32 PM

EvilEgg: How did this guy even get a security clearance? Those missions were highly classified, you can't just put them on your C.V. They used to tell you that when you got discharged.


Same place snowden got his I guess.
 
2014-06-22 11:43:45 PM
Would like to have a few words with the guy...

www.deathbymovies.com
 
2014-06-22 11:45:11 PM

Yaw String: I wonder if it was a stand up fight, or a "bug" hunt?


/ never had a thing for Ripley


That's Xenomorph to you..
 
2014-06-22 11:45:49 PM
I could have come up with everything he described in a two minute sci fi novel idea brainstorming session.
 
2014-06-22 11:50:30 PM

T-Servo: focusthis: How expensive are the strippers up there?

Expensive, but better than the leather goddesses from Upper Sandusky.


Oh that game. I hit as far as you could without the stupid cave maps or whatever. Stupid anti-piracy
 
2014-06-22 11:55:02 PM
I see here on your resume you spent 17 years on Mars protecting five human colonies from Martians.
Welcome to the Church of Scientology!
 
2014-06-22 11:55:37 PM
He's a fraud. Everyone knows the Martians were wiped out after they sided with the Nazis in 1953.
 
2014-06-22 11:56:42 PM
This man was also assigned to protect Richter and ensure that he showed up at the party. I advise against hiring this man.
 
2014-06-23 12:01:22 AM
It was layer revealed that 'Capt. Kaye' was actually a college student who had watched the movie 'Mars Attacks' six times in a row under the influence of LSD and mushrooms.
 
2014-06-23 12:13:04 AM

fusillade762: tinyarena: Well that's great I guess, but what exactly does that qualify him for?

A straightjacket and some thorazine?


Canadian parliament
 
2014-06-23 12:16:42 AM

Mr. Shabooboo: Yaw String: I wonder if it was a stand up fight, or a "bug" hunt?


/ never had a thing for Ripley

That's Xenomorph to you..


Attractive and successful Xenomorph-American.
 
2014-06-23 12:16:50 AM
Sorry
 
2014-06-23 12:17:56 AM
Well, dammit, who was protecting the other four?
 
2014-06-23 12:18:05 AM

fusillade762: tinyarena: Well that's great I guess, but what exactly does that qualify him for?

A straightjacket and some thorazine?


He has a strong mind and a good memory. He's just here to gather information about the army of the twelve monkeys.
 
2014-06-23 12:20:45 AM

stuffy: He's a fraud. Everyone knows the Martians were wiped out after they sided with the Nazis in 1953.


I though Pearl Harbour was 1941?
 
2014-06-23 12:21:06 AM
Anybody notice that most all conspiracy theorist have very poor video editing and second rate sound quality? Geocities type flashing web pages and all. Serious question. Why such universally poor workmanship? Is there something physiologically that they all have in common that make people believe crazy theories and have crappy media production?
 
2014-06-23 12:22:48 AM

JonnyBGoode: Mr. Shabooboo: Yaw String: I wonder if it was a stand up fight, or a "bug" hunt?


/ never had a thing for Ripley

That's Xenomorph to you..

Attractive and successful Xenomorph-American.


Neptunian, Please...
 
2014-06-23 12:29:11 AM

TomD9938: Roook: Haven't we all padded our resume a little?  I put I type 100 wpm but realistically, I probably average 85 or 90.  17 years in Arizona/Mars what's the diff?

Yeah, even if what he's claiming is only half-true... that's still pretty impressive.


I miss that website on geocities of the best "padded" resumes, of the top 5 mine had to be the guy who was a former "department of defense" worker, who had files on every "american" there was, a former special forces soldier as well.

/turns out he worked for Micky D's before getting fired and sent to jail for smoking to much meth, unfortunate being over 380lbs I doubt he was actually on meth, it was the impersonation as a police officer that was over the top - while talking to the SHERIFF himself.
 
2014-06-23 12:32:31 AM
Dork.

Everyone knows that the secret Space Marine Base is on Titan.

Oh, Crap, I have to press delete on my Diebold
 
2014-06-23 12:35:44 AM

mrlewish: Anybody notice that most all conspiracy theorist have very poor video editing and second rate sound quality? Geocities type flashing web pages and all. Serious question. Why such universally poor workmanship? Is there something physiologically that they all have in common that make people believe crazy theories and have crappy media production?


They're too paranoid to let anyone else get involved so it's all DIY.
 
2014-06-23 12:37:19 AM

Arkanaut: focusthis: How expensive are the strippers up there?

About 50% more.


That third tit sure makes them pricey.
 
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