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(CNN)   Pope shines up his ginormous brass balls, excommunicates the whole damn Mob   (cnn.com) divider line 234
    More: Spiffy, Mafia, pope, Pope Francis, Calabria, Institute for Religious Works  
•       •       •

14130 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jun 2014 at 7:32 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



234 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-22 02:13:38 AM  
fta "Those who in their life have gone along the evil ways, as in the case of the mafia, they are not with God, they are excommunicated,"

Might want to rethink that whole Popemobile thing, father
 
2014-06-22 02:28:17 AM  
Dude needs to hire a food taster, pronto.
 
2014-06-22 02:31:01 AM  

Notabunny: fta "Those who in their life have gone along the evil ways, as in the case of the mafia, they are not with God, they are excommunicated,"

Might want to rethink that whole Popemobile thing, father


I saw this story on USA Today through the Google News aggregator and the pope was quoted as saying:

"It's true that anything could happen. But let's face it, at my age I don't have much to lose."

Which seems a really strange thing for a Pope to say, I hope he is in well health, because he is a really darn good Pope.

Link
 
2014-06-22 02:52:18 AM  
Will the next pope recommunicate the mob?
 
2014-06-22 04:20:53 AM  
You don't get re-communicated by killing a pope.
 
2014-06-22 07:29:17 AM  
Did he have to go get his shine box to polish up those testicles?
 
2014-06-22 07:38:16 AM  
"Those who in their life have gone along the evil ways, they are not with God, they are excommunicated,"

Oh shiat, I masturbated once
 
2014-06-22 07:39:19 AM  
Why do I suddenly have the need to rewatch "Godfather III", lol
 
2014-06-22 07:40:36 AM  
Large balls for a celibate guy.
 
2014-06-22 07:41:23 AM  

comslave: Large balls for a celibate guy.


Well, it isn't like he can drain them.
 
2014-06-22 07:41:56 AM  
Good on him. Just saying that takes courage.
 
gja
2014-06-22 07:42:10 AM  
"Those who in their life have gone along the evil ways, they are not with God, they are excommunicated"

Buh-Bye google.......
 
2014-06-22 07:44:20 AM  
In nomine patri
et fili
spiritu-

i57.tinypic.com
 
2014-06-22 07:45:39 AM  
So he unfriended them on Facebook?
 
2014-06-22 07:46:04 AM  
Sooooo, all sexually abusive priests are ex-communicated now?
 
2014-06-22 07:49:23 AM  

Cake Hunter: In nomine patri
et fili
spiritu-

[i57.tinypic.com image 639x429]


Thread.
 
2014-06-22 07:51:05 AM  
Pope Francis is planning to take one for the team. Ideal-driven positions and actions, refusal to cower - yeah, he's going for martyrdom. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen, and that the Church continues on this path. It's the right direction.
 
2014-06-22 07:53:21 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-06-22 07:54:28 AM  

FormlessOne: Pope Francis is planning to take one for the team. Ideal-driven positions and actions, refusal to cower - yeah, he's going for martyrdom. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen, and that the Church continues on this path. It's the right direction.


How is it going to work in all the churches that have Mafia members? How many priests will have the guts to tell a mobster to get out of their church?
 
2014-06-22 07:55:10 AM  
That's an excommunication for you, and you, and one for you, and you, and you too in the corner (don't think I can't see you!).
 
2014-06-22 07:55:11 AM  
Francis may have balls but not as big as the balls some parish priest in a little town in Calabria is going to need when he has to tell the local Mafia Don to GTFO.
 
2014-06-22 07:57:29 AM  

Krustofsky: FormlessOne: Pope Francis is planning to take one for the team. Ideal-driven positions and actions, refusal to cower - yeah, he's going for martyrdom. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen, and that the Church continues on this path. It's the right direction.

How is it going to work in all the churches that have Mafia members? How many priests will have the guts to tell a mobster to get out of their church?


I'm just curious as to why you're asking me about the logistics, honestly. It's not like I'm the Pope's consigliere.
 
2014-06-22 07:57:44 AM  
So....no more free wine and crackers?
 
2014-06-22 07:57:47 AM  
C'mon man!  The Pope is a fayeeg.  The real deal is ISIS.  I'm a beach beating member if ISIS.

As well as a hajib maker.
 
2014-06-22 07:58:26 AM  
He's just trying to squash a rival mob.
 
2014-06-22 07:59:42 AM  
Hahahahaha, fark you, Vinnie, ya scumbag.
 
2014-06-22 07:59:47 AM  

Cake Hunter: In nomine patri
et fili
spiritu-


Well played.

/the "but he's just PR" people still unconscious?
 
2014-06-22 08:00:10 AM  

Fedora: Francis may have balls but not as big as the balls some parish priest in a little town in Calabria is going to need when he has to tell the local Mafia Don to GTFO.


Why would he have to, honestly? Think about it - the don's excommunicated. The parish priest doesn't have to say anything, because it doesn't matter how often the don comes in, or sits down, or demands confession, he's still screwed.

But, again, what do you think the don, a person who spent all that time building up his reputation in the community as a faithful community leader, is going to do? Murder the parish priest? No, at best, the parish priest is going to watch his local funding dry up, as the laity, in fear of the don, stop tithing.
 
2014-06-22 08:00:14 AM  

comslave: Large balls for a celibate guy.


Since they can't be used for their intended purpose using them to fight crime is the way to go for the Pope.
 
2014-06-22 08:05:16 AM  
Oh, and look up Archbishop Óscar Romero. South American Jesuits have been doing this brass balls thing for a while.
 
2014-06-22 08:07:57 AM  
You talkin to me, Pope?
You talkin to me?
You talkin to me?
You talkin to me?
 
2014-06-22 08:10:41 AM  

Notabunny: Might want to rethink that whole Popemobile thing, father


Meh. They would never do anything. That would be really, really bad PR.
 
2014-06-22 08:12:19 AM  
The Mafia could respond, but honestly why? They're probably doing as well in Italy as they've ever done. Business is good. If they try to take out the Pope imagine how the honest Italian prosecutors will react to the murder of a Pope in addition to the reaction of other nations. Personally I think it would be better for business to just let the Pope live. The Mafia is still one of the biggest industries in Italy. Why make it tough to keep the money flowing?
 
2014-06-22 08:12:46 AM  

doglover: You don't get re-communicated by killing a pope.


i69.servimg.com

I did. After his popeyness excommunicated me for daring to take my lands back, ("Christian nations can't fight each other"? Where the hell were you when France took three of my territories?) I sent my priests to the far corners of the lands to gain experience and when I had a majority of the college of cardinals, I had the pope assassinated, and my favorite priest elected pope.

Things were great for a while. Then the pope forgot who his king was. Started thinking he could tell me to go on crusades when I was busy stomping England's ass to mud. So I had him assassinated too. And thus when my kingship. A long line of getting my priest elected and then assassinating them when they got too big for their britches. You'd think they'd learn after what happened to the last 5 guys. But no, they never did.
 
2014-06-22 08:13:37 AM  
the Pope called directly on Mafia bosses to repent, saying "hell ... awaits"


2.bp.blogspot.com

...approves.

That reminds me of an older metal/religious double act.

The Bishop & The Warlord.
 
2014-06-22 08:16:19 AM  

FormlessOne: Fedora: Francis may have balls but not as big as the balls some parish priest in a little town in Calabria is going to need when he has to tell the local Mafia Don to GTFO.

Why would he have to, honestly? Think about it - the don's excommunicated. The parish priest doesn't have to say anything, because it doesn't matter how often the don comes in, or sits down, or demands confession, he's still screwed.

But, again, what do you think the don, a person who spent all that time building up his reputation in the community as a faithful community leader, is going to do? Murder the parish priest? No, at best, the parish priest is going to watch his local funding dry up, as the laity, in fear of the don, stop tithing.


Excommunication means that they're denied access to the sacraments, so when Don Barsini shows up to Mass expecting to receive communion, the priest is going to have to tell him "no, not yours (until you reconcile with the Church)"
 
2014-06-22 08:22:18 AM  
Nice little... *twirls hand at wrist* ...religion you have going on there.

Shame if something was to happen to it.
 
2014-06-22 08:23:47 AM  

FormlessOne: Krustofsky: FormlessOne: Pope Francis is planning to take one for the team. Ideal-driven positions and actions, refusal to cower - yeah, he's going for martyrdom. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen, and that the Church continues on this path. It's the right direction.

How is it going to work in all the churches that have Mafia members? How many priests will have the guts to tell a mobster to get out of their church?

I'm just curious as to why you're asking me about the logistics, honestly. It's not like I'm the Pope's consigliere.


Just putting the question out there, that's all.
 
2014-06-22 08:24:46 AM  

Krustofsky: FormlessOne: Pope Francis is planning to take one for the team. Ideal-driven positions and actions, refusal to cower - yeah, he's going for martyrdom. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen, and that the Church continues on this path. It's the right direction.

How is it going to work in all the churches that have Mafia members? How many priests will have the guts to tell a mobster to get out of their church?


I was wondering exactly the same thing. It puts the local clergy in a terrible position. Some crime boss is going to want to go to confession (do mafia bossess confess?) and his priest is expected to tell him "no"?

So the priests are either up against the Pope or up against the muzzle of a gun.

Also, what happens to family members? If an excommunicated guy's daughter wants to get married in the Church, willl she be allowed to?

//// Not Catholic, thankfully.
 
2014-06-22 08:29:02 AM  
Did he just make an offhand "you bastiches are outta here" remark, or did he go the full Bell, Book and Candle on them?
 
2014-06-22 08:29:19 AM  

boinkingbill: C'mon man!  The Pope is a fayeeg.  The real deal is ISIS.  I'm a beach beating member if ISIS.

As well as a hajib maker.


Sit down before you hurt yourself.
 
2014-06-22 08:29:50 AM  

lamecomedian: FormlessOne: Fedora: Francis may have balls but not as big as the balls some parish priest in a little town in Calabria is going to need when he has to tell the local Mafia Don to GTFO.

Why would he have to, honestly? Think about it - the don's excommunicated. The parish priest doesn't have to say anything, because it doesn't matter how often the don comes in, or sits down, or demands confession, he's still screwed.

But, again, what do you think the don, a person who spent all that time building up his reputation in the community as a faithful community leader, is going to do? Murder the parish priest? No, at best, the parish priest is going to watch his local funding dry up, as the laity, in fear of the don, stop tithing.

Excommunication means that they're denied access to the sacraments, so when Don Barsini shows up to Mass expecting to receive communion, the priest is going to have to tell him "no, not yours (until you reconcile with the Church)"


Yes. I'm with you on that. What do you think the don's going to do in return? Think about it for a sec. The don's currently in the middle of the very community in which he's spent the last n years ingratiating himself, being asked politely by the parish priest to leave because he's been excommunicated by the Pope. Do you thin the don's just going to pull out a pistol or a knife and kill the parish priest?

The Mafia didn't get to where they are now by being stupid. The don's going to make the appropriate gesture, in public, and leave the church. Later, the don's going to do one of a few things:
- lose his temper and arrange for the death of the parish priest;
- keep his temper and arrange for the bankruptcy of the parish priest;
- keep his temper and ask for forgiveness.

The first option's out, because it won't take a rocket scientist to connect the dots on that one. I'd lean towards the second option, but the third option may also be in play depending on the actual degree of faith by the don.

In other words, I expect that the parish priest will be more concerned with his finances than his life.
 
2014-06-22 08:30:03 AM  
Functionally, is this really going to mean anything? Are we supposed to expect that local priests in mob-controlled towns are going to deny communion to the local mob guys? If mob guys deny that they are in the mob, or say that they are reformed, is anyone going to question that?

This pope's heart is in the right place obviously, but this seems like it could be a pretty meaningless gesture.
 
2014-06-22 08:32:00 AM  
Does this include the Comorra or are those guys still considered godly? Cuz they make the Mafia look like your local Girl Scout troop
 
2014-06-22 08:32:06 AM  
Perhaps he should excommunicate the IRA.
 
2014-06-22 08:32:54 AM  
"Those who in their life have gone along the evil ways, they are not with God, they are excommunicated,"

Howz bout dem kid-diddlin priests there popey? Youz guys better gitcha some Windex fer dat glass Vatican joint.
 
2014-06-22 08:32:54 AM  

tillerman35: Did he just make an offhand "you bastiches are outta here" remark, or did he go the full Bell, Book and Candle on them?


Between the two.  Canon law states that you're automatically excommunicated, without any need for formal hearing or ceremony, if you do X, Y, or Z.  He was saying that the mafioso had excommunicated themselves because of what they'd done.
 
2014-06-22 08:34:25 AM  

DeathByGeekSquad: Sooooo, all sexually abusive priests are ex-communicated now?


That's not how it works.
That's not how any of this works.
 
2014-06-22 08:35:50 AM  

Wolf892: SpdrJay: So he unfriended them on Facebook?

That's not how it works, that's not how any of this works!


DAMMIT!
 
2014-06-22 08:36:48 AM  

mafiageek1980: Why do I suddenly have the need to rewatch "Godfather III", lol


Godfather III?!  Sorry, doesn't ring a bell...

/get a load of this guy.  next thing he'll be saying they made sequels to The Matrix and Highlander
 
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