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(Mother Jones)   Remember Herman Cain? HE'S BACK   (motherjones.com) divider line 58
    More: Hero, Herman Cain, President Obama, graders  
•       •       •

4378 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Jun 2014 at 10:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-06-20 06:28:16 PM  
11 votes:
"A First Grader Could Run America Better" said Herman Cain.

Maybe, but you didn't get the chance.
2014-06-20 06:32:04 PM  
6 votes:
So you're saying that you lost to the guy who lost to the guy who is worse than a first grader?
2014-06-20 10:19:08 PM  
4 votes:
Come on guys, I'm sure his political views have evolved since we last saw him
images.politico.com
2014-06-20 10:02:07 PM  
4 votes:
Awwwwwwwwwww shucky ducky!
2014-06-21 07:38:16 AM  
3 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com
2014-06-20 10:36:30 PM  
3 votes:

ginandbacon: NEIN NEIN NEIN!!!!


cdn.static.ovimg.com

"Twenty-seven!"
2014-06-20 10:26:12 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-06-20 06:32:36 PM  
3 votes:
Was he in Uzbekibekibekistan?
2014-06-21 02:23:33 PM  
2 votes:

quatchi: In Cain's final speech before he quit his campaign he actually quoted lyrics from the Donna Summer song "The Power of One" from the Pokemon movie.


Hmmm. I would have much preferred "Love to Love You Baby." Especially the groaning sounds.
2014-06-21 11:05:41 AM  
2 votes:

Obama's Left Nut: Oh that is right I forgot.... Obama got all our troops out of Iraq.... but wait he is now saying the reason we did not leave troops in Iraq is because the Iraqi government would not give us the usual immunities we require for our troops.....

Which one is it?


ts1.mm.bing.net
2014-06-21 01:25:51 AM  
2 votes:
 This makes me so happy. Herman Cain needs to run for president again. He brings a surrealistic unintentional humor to the ticket that no other republican candidate can match.
2014-06-21 12:06:11 AM  
2 votes:
Love me some Herman Cain. It's carpetbagging but he brings pizza out of that bag before he lines it with your donations. He reads Pokemon lyrics as if they were Twain and asks you to love him for it. He's the guy who undeniably doesn't give one shiat about anything other than his own wallet, and Republicans loved him for it.

He's farking Herman Colbert.
2014-06-20 11:15:30 PM  
2 votes:
I've been here for a while but posting that shiat with a hero tag is causing me to consider leaving.

Farking POS  bastards.
2014-06-20 11:03:48 PM  
2 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-06-20 10:29:30 PM  
2 votes:
African-American, subby, please.
2014-06-20 10:14:43 PM  
2 votes:
Oh come on:
i.imgur.com
2014-06-20 10:11:01 PM  
2 votes:
Dick and Jane books were published with many more than 3 pages..

Herman Cain Pledges Not To Sign Any Bill Longer Than Three Pages
2014-06-20 10:09:55 PM  
2 votes:
A first grader could run America better?

Well, that bar's over the GOP's head for sure.
2014-06-20 10:02:21 PM  
2 votes:
We get it?
2014-06-20 09:21:02 PM  
2 votes:
2014-06-20 09:06:44 PM  
2 votes:

Bill_Wick's_Friend: In pog form?

/milhouse


sp2.yimg.com
2014-06-20 07:10:56 PM  
2 votes:
In pog form?

/milhouse
2014-06-20 06:45:39 PM  
2 votes:
NEIN NEIN NEIN!!!!

Go away you barking lunatic.
2014-06-20 06:40:53 PM  
2 votes:

jasonvatch: "A First Grader Could Run America Better" said Herman Cain.

Maybe, but you didn't get the chance.


After 8 years of Bush, a first grader would be an improvement
2014-06-22 12:40:41 AM  
1 votes:

Tetrazphere: Well it also is about the policies themselves. Liberals tend to emphasize exterior causes for someone's suffering "bigoted traditional conservatives" or "greedy wall-street conservatives" or just having a society where the marginalized fall through the cracks, it's not their fault.

Conservatives tend to emphasize interior causes...like the aforementioned personal responsibility, work ethic, undisciplined spending and non-saving (buying unnecessary bling or swag), and general arrogant self-entitlement attitude toward life


Oh that is such oversimplified horseshiat.
2014-06-22 12:26:52 AM  
1 votes:

Tetrazphere: Kittypie070: Republicans are outraged today after Sen. Ted Cruz withdrew his support for his own plan to shutdown the government unless Obamacare is defunded.

OK, so this is just one guy outta the whole lot of 'em. Remember, it's just one example.

It just doesn't seem all that "responsible" for some guy to gin up something really honking big, spend a whoooooooole buttload of consecutive hours filibustering FOR it, and then turn right around and completely deny that he had anything whatever to do with the very thing he himself spent an entire summer ginning up, a ...


Ted Cruz is a joke and just really farking weird. Doesn't he come off a bit squirrely fruit loops? And many republicans want this guy to run for president, I don't see it. He is out of touch with America (and reality). Anyways, by filibustering, the GOP has more of an edge of "I-told-you-so" about the predictably unpopular Obamacare (many actually thought they wouldn't have to pay for it). The President did have a chance to hear the conservatives out, but stubbornly passed...(they most likely would have demanded unacceptable changes but this is politics, the political partisanship game of sports at work. So many people are caught up on either side, and can't tell that the football both sides are fighting for hasn't moved very much at all.)

But yes, Ted Cruz was undeniably more responsible for the government shutdown than any other human on the planet. The least amount of fault I would ever give would be 51% Cruz and 49% Obama.


Giving Boehner 98% of what he wanted totally makes Obama 49% responsible. Republican math at work.
2014-06-21 10:22:57 PM  
1 votes:

Tetrazphere: dickfreckle: Tetrazphere: Basically some common attributes of the right are personal responsibility, self-determination, discipline, achievement drive etc.. which the left tends to lack.

These sound more like traits that the right has assigned to themselves more than any demonstrable reality. Or, at the very least, that the left, as a general rule, also shares these values. Self-style righties do not own the market on, say, having a job and wanting to own a business.

I'm sorry to cherry-pick your post, but that particular remark/sentiment always pisses me off. It tacitly suggests that to be a liberal in America, you're dependent on the government for everything.


Well it also is about the policies themselves. Liberals tend to emphasize exterior causes for someone's suffering "bigoted traditional conservatives" or "greedy wall-street conservatives" or just having a society where the marginalized fall through the cracks, it's not their fault.

Conservatives tend to emphasize interior causes...like the aforementioned personal responsibility, work ethic, undisciplined spending and non-saving (buying unnecessary bling or swag), and general arrogant self-entitlement attitude toward life.

Conservatives will phrase it as things should be earned, not given out. All working tax-payers work a portion of their time supporting a segment of the population who refuses to earn their keep and just uses an easily abusable system as much as possible. It is necessary for businesses to be successful for the working class to even have jobs and have the opportunity to be successful. We got successful through discipline, hard-work and determination, and that's what they expect from everyone else.

Liberals will phrase it as, everyone should be on an even playing field, and the entire system in America is set up to favor people who are already born privileged. It would be non-compassionate to not give people the resources they need so they have a chance to make it out of poverty, people ...


A fallacy I hear is people say that the Democrat Party is the party of the lazy and welfare addicts
2014-06-21 06:36:11 PM  
1 votes:

HighOnCraic: Kittypie070: All right, I admit right now I'm just gonna use ONE guy as an example.

Yeah, but Cruz's family is from Cuba and he was born in Canada, so obviously not a true Scotsman.

/He probably doesn't even like haggis.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
2014-06-21 04:29:17 PM  
1 votes:
www.motherjones.com

/He has a BSc in Mathematics.
2014-06-21 03:07:53 PM  
1 votes:
Spermin' Herman.


i miss his Pizza Song.
2014-06-21 11:30:14 AM  
1 votes:
Remember Herman Cain?

Yep.

HE'S BACK.

i78.photobucket.com

"Gary Coleman, his arms held high."
2014-06-21 10:26:19 AM  
1 votes:
The best thing about the Cain campaign was that he had a pretty p[prestigious position at the Fed.  In a sane world he could tailored his message around that experience and sell himself as the only candidate who understands how an economy works. Since Cain was in Fed hating GOP, he had to pretend that experience never existed and he had to campaign as the pizza guy.
2014-06-21 10:11:51 AM  
1 votes:

Obama's Left Nut: Trance750: jasonvatch: "A First Grader Could Run America Better" said Herman Cain.

Maybe, but you didn't get the chance.

After 8 years of Bush, a first grader would be an improvement

How long is the but Bush bullshiat going to last? Yeah he was a crappy president but FFS your guy has to take responsibility for SOMETHING.


Maybe quit asking him to take responsibility for something he didn't do? Maybe we blame Bush for a lot of stuff he did because Bush is the one who actually did those things? Obama didn't magically invade Iraq in 2003 just because he became President in 2009.
ecl
2014-06-21 10:10:43 AM  
1 votes:

Obama's Left Nut: Trance750: jasonvatch: "A First Grader Could Run America Better" said Herman Cain.

Maybe, but you didn't get the chance.

After 8 years of Bush, a first grader would be an improvement

How long is the but Bush bullshiat going to last? Yeah he was a crappy president but FFS your guy has to take responsibility for SOMETHING.


How long will it take to fix Iraq?  Forever?  Then Bush/Cheney can suck infinite dicks.
2014-06-21 09:22:03 AM  
1 votes:
What the hell is a "post-modern cultural issue" in regard to the office of POTUS?

Is he going to have to handle criticism of his paintings of soup cans?
2014-06-21 09:14:16 AM  
1 votes:

Omahawg: believe it or not, people, but godfather's used to be really good pizza.


I remember...lots of really good cheese.  That pizza was delicious.
2014-06-21 08:28:33 AM  
1 votes:

Thrag: This makes me so happy. Herman Cain needs to run for president again. He brings a surrealistic unintentional humor to the ticket that no other republican candidate can match.


blog.chron.com
Challenge accepted!
2014-06-21 08:26:06 AM  
1 votes:

heavymetal: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 550x369]


Not sure if Cain or Thomas. Then I read "Grope" and... nope. Still not sure if Cain or Thomas.
2014-06-21 03:21:52 AM  
1 votes:
The thing I liked most about Herman Cain?  That slow smile thing he did.  It was as if someone was off camera, admonishing him to smile, over and over again, and only getting him to comply by slowly tightening the thumbscrews.
ecl
2014-06-21 02:49:27 AM  
1 votes:

Tetrazphere: Kittypie070: Tetrazphere: I was trying to narrow down your exact dislike of the ad. I didn't know if it was because of something like...

a. It Incites unnecessary hatred against those who caused 9/11 (or those who look like them)

No, that's not it.

b. That he was being disingenuous about 9/11 (that in reality he personally was emotionally unaffected about 9/11, and he was just pandering for votes.

Nope.

c. That using 9/11 imagery to remember the tragedy was wrong because the victims or families of those perhaps would not agree with Cain's politics.

Sorry, still nope.

d. That the narrow-visioned "my country is always right" nationalism that is implied in that video is dangerous ideology to hold.

Daaaamn. Sorry again but NOPE.

Or others or combination of those.

Certainly you wouldn't put it on the same level of grotesqueness as a pro-9/11 video, or would that be validated somehow.

/relax, this is still not a personal attack on you

Oooookey dokey, since the extremely jarring juxtaposition of anguished screaming and visuals of black disaster and death accompanying what SHOULD be an affectionate and celebratory song about the United States that wishes the nation both wellbeing and the blessings of the Deity does not seem to have made an impression, little kitty shall help you by attempting to catsplain.

[4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence]


don't freak out, 'tis snark and not hostility

For that to be an authentic reason of why you thought it so grotesque would entail you being a god-fearing patriot, and I'm just not getting that aura from you.

/the 4 minutes and 33 seconds did help your cause
//that was not post irony, that was pre-irony


Impressively dumb.
2014-06-21 02:13:51 AM  
1 votes:

Kittypie070: Tetrazphere: Kittypie070: That is not a shuck either folks. It's an honest to Hades political advert from that guy.

Kitty, do you think that add have any place at all, outside of politics?

What!? Are we or are we not in the Fark Politics section??

Did I somehow not make it quite blatantly and transparently obvious that it was indeed specifically a political ad and ONLY a political ad!!??


I seriously think that dude is autistic.

/Tetrazphere, not Herman Cain
//ok, maybe Herman Cain as well
2014-06-21 02:08:17 AM  
1 votes:

Tetrazphere: I was trying to narrow down your exact dislike of the ad. I didn't know if it was because of something like...

a. It Incites unnecessary hatred against those who caused 9/11 (or those who look like them)


No, that's not it.

b. That he was being disingenuous about 9/11 (that in reality he personally was emotionally unaffected about 9/11, and he was just pandering for votes.

Nope.

c. That using 9/11 imagery to remember the tragedy was wrong because the victims or families of those perhaps would not agree with Cain's politics.

Sorry, still nope.

d. That the narrow-visioned "my country is always right" nationalism that is implied in that video is dangerous ideology to hold.

Daaaamn. Sorry again but NOPE.

Or others or combination of those.

Certainly you wouldn't put it on the same level of grotesqueness as a pro-9/11 video, or would that be validated somehow.

/relax, this is still not a personal attack on you


Oooookey dokey, since the extremely jarring juxtaposition of anguished screaming and visuals of black disaster and death accompanying what SHOULD be an affectionate and celebratory song about the United States that wishes the nation both wellbeing and the blessings of the Deity does not seem to have made an impression, little kitty shall help you by attempting to catsplain.

[4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence]


don't freak out, 'tis snark and not hostility
2014-06-21 01:48:10 AM  
1 votes:

ecl: Kittypie070: Tetrazphere: Kittypie070: That is not a shuck either folks. It's an honest to Hades political advert from that guy.

Kitty, do you think that add have any place at all, outside of politics?

What!? Are we or are we not in the Fark Politics section??

Did I somehow not make it quite blatantly and transparently obvious that it was indeed specifically a political ad and ONLY a political ad!!??

He just doesn't like you beating up on his candidate of choice.


Already said he's not equipped to handle foreign policy or post-modern cultural issues. Though I think he does have an undeniable understanding about how to help small businesses succeed and decrease unemployment.
2014-06-21 01:46:11 AM  
1 votes:

sprawl15: i.imgur.com


Wow.  The things I've blocked from memory with alcohol.  Pretty sure that's another accomplishment on my resume.

Thanks!
2014-06-21 12:52:51 AM  
1 votes:
www.quickmeme.com
2014-06-21 12:47:36 AM  
1 votes:

fusillade762: "stupid people [who do vote and volunteer] are ruining America."

Well he's not wrong about that part.


Yep.

They're called Tea Partiers
2014-06-21 12:02:59 AM  
1 votes:

fusillade762: "stupid people [who do vote and volunteer] are ruining America."

Well he's not wrong about that part.


Imagine a standardized pre-voting test. The outrage would be swift, and of course the test itself would be "designed" to marginalize segments of voters.

"But we only asked to list if they knew who was vice president, and the polices of the candidate they were voting for."

"Then why did you ask them to list all of the "Friend's" characters?"

"We thought that show had a culturally diverse following."
ecl
2014-06-20 11:20:35 PM  
1 votes:

jmr61: I've been here for a while but posting that shiat with a hero tag is causing me to consider leaving.

Farking POS  bastards.


lh3.googleusercontent.com

He IS down with Pokemon.  He can't be pure evil.
2014-06-20 11:14:23 PM  
1 votes:

Tetrazphere: Samuel Beale's Ghost: kronicfeld: So you're saying that you lost to the guy who lost to the guy who is worse than a first grader?

This is, without a doubt, the best comment of the year!

Sorry to interrupt some back-patting and caressing, but he lost the election do to the electorate, not because of a lower intelligence. By your logic, Bush was the most intelligent in 2000 and 2004.


Do you know why we know you flunked reading comprehension?  BTW its "due" not "do"
2014-06-20 11:13:03 PM  
1 votes:

kronicfeld: So you're saying that you lost to the guy who lost to the guy who is worse than a first grader?


He's jus' a dude who lost to a dude who don' know wha dookie iiiiiiss!!!!

screencrave.com
2014-06-20 11:08:34 PM  
1 votes:

Kittypie070: Let's not forget this particularly grotesque piece of carefully composed mind-f*ck from our friendly former pizza slinger, screams and all.

probably NSFW


Ho-leeee f*ck.... I hadn't seen that before.  Was that a commercial with him singing?  If so, grotesque is the perfect word.

Just, goddamn.  This is what right-wingers eat up and support.  Just f*cking shameful.
2014-06-20 10:56:19 PM  
1 votes:

kronicfeld: So you're saying that you lost to the guy who lost to the guy who is worse than a first grader?


This is, without a doubt, the best comment of the year!

brandynbold.com
2014-06-20 10:43:57 PM  
1 votes:
Let's not forget this particularly grotesque piece of carefully composed mind-f*ck from our friendly former pizza slinger, screams and all.

probably NSFW
2014-06-20 10:27:23 PM  
1 votes:
Nine! Nine!  Nine!
2014-06-20 10:24:39 PM  
1 votes:
This is coming from a man who tried to pass off a pizza deal as a viable tax plan.
2014-06-20 10:15:57 PM  
1 votes:
I am in COMPLETE agreement with Herman!

We have got to get out there and out-vote the stupid people!!
2014-06-20 09:52:35 PM  
1 votes:

kronicfeld: So you're saying that you lost to the guy who lost to the guy who is worse than a first grader?


That's like people who say, "Those illegal immigrants come over here, they can't speak the language they have no skills and they steal our jerbs!"
2014-06-20 09:51:14 PM  
1 votes:
You advanced a flat tax plan that sounded more like a pizza ad. No one takes you seriously now and no one took you seriously then. You were the GOP's black friend they used to pretend they care about anyone other than rich, white males.
 
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