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(The Raw Story)   Performance artist and/or crazy person Victoria Jackson releases her second campaign video in her quest to become a county commissioner for Williamson County, TN and, well, it's exactly as crazy as you'd expect   (rawstory.com) divider line 11
    More: Amusing  
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1639 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Jun 2014 at 2:18 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
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2014-06-20 12:54:46 PM  
4 votes:
Yet another example how too much religion will make a person bat-shiat crazy.  See also:  Kirk Cameron.
2014-06-20 02:51:49 PM  
2 votes:

clancifer: Yet another example how too much religion will make a person bat-shiat crazy.  See also:  Kirk Cameron.


Religion didn't make this poor woman insane. Religion is just the excuse she uses to justify her insanity both to herself and the people around her.

If anything, her crazy tea-party dominion religion is probably helpful. Mental illness can be really isolating, and this gives her a social group that accepts her for what she is.
2014-06-20 02:25:29 PM  
2 votes:

gopher321: Shouldn't she be in a kitchen hospital somewhere, barefoot and pregnant restrained for her own safety?


FTFY.
2014-06-20 08:22:07 PM  
1 votes:
Nix Nightbird:

That is the most cringeworthy thing I have read in a very long time, and I know people who write zombie erotica.
2014-06-20 07:31:04 PM  
1 votes:
I have a confession to make.  It's all my fault.

The first time I encountered Ms. Jackson, I was enchanted by her odd toddler voice and pendulous breasts. The combination of the two made me feel dirty. I asked her back to my place and she accepted.

Once we arrived, I offered her a drink. She turned it down. I suggested she allow me to have sex with her mouth, but she denied me the pleasure (and kept talking). Finally, when it seemed all hope for a fun evening was to be dashed on the rocks of celebrity privilege, I found a way to entertain myself: I clubbed her over the head with an enormous cartoon mallet, and then took her to my laboratory.

Once strapped onto the tablet, I decided the best use of our time together would involve electroshock therapy. I gave her a few good jolts, and then unstrapped her, took her back out to the living room, and revived her with smelling salts. She awoke and thanked me for the lovely evening, but said she had to get home now. I escorted her to the door and that was that.

The following weekend, there was a knock on my door. When I answered it, I was surprised to see Ms. Jackson standing in my threshold, grinning like a fool. "SURPRISE!" she said, and when she saw the look on my face she explained, "I felt SO good after our last date that I decided to surprise you with a second one! So here I am!"

Again, I offered her a drink, which she refused, and a cock in the mouth, which she declined politely. She smiled and glanced at my gigantic cartoon mallet propped in the corner, and raised her eyebrows knowingly.

POW. She was smiling.

This time, I opted to try a little trepanning. Once she was strapped in, I got out my power drill and neatly burrowed into her skull in two spots. I may have slipped a bit and hit her brain a little, but after the bleeding was stopped via the generous application of Play-Doh and Superglue, I took her back out into the living room, woke her with the smelling salts, and we said our good-byes.

The following week, she arrived five minutes earlier than the previous week. Smiling wide, she asked to come in, and again, I offered her that drink, which she declined, and the opportunity to taste my tallywacker, which she giggled at but also politely refused. "You know what I want, big boy!" she said, tilting her head repeatedly toward the comically large mallet in the corner. I couldn't help but notice that this time her voice was a little shaky, but I complied nonetheless.

POW. She was out and smiling maniacally.

I was tired of fooling around, so this time I cut a hole in the top of her skull and farked it. I farked that skull-hole good and long. When I finally reached my climax, I watched to see if my love-buddies would eventually ooze from her flaring nostrils, but alas- They never made their escape from the inner recesses of her cranium. When I was finished depositing every last drop into the spaces between left and right hemisphere, I wiped off my schlong, tucked it away in my special radiation-proof codpiece, then replaced the plug of skull in her head with a wad of Bounty paper towels, and secured it with Blu-Tack. I replaced the missing hair with a weave of fur from an old fox coat my grandmother had left to me, and then I took Ms. Jackson's inert form back into the living room and woke her with the smelling salts. She smiled upon waking and exclaimed, "Wow! I can see forever!"

"You can never come back here again, Ms. Jackson." I said.

She nodded sadly, muttering something about gay Muslims ruining the country for Christians and howler monkeys, and shuffled out the door. The next time I saw her was decades later, on Fox News. I could still see the scars where I'd drilled into her skull. I like to think that sometimes she blows her nose, and a little bit of my love-sauce is mixed in there to this day, because it has slowly been making babies in her brain.

/fictional.
//She never actually said "no" to oral sex.
///also possibly a parody.
2014-06-20 04:31:33 PM  
1 votes:

UNC_Samurai: rjakobi: BunkyBrewman: That reminds me, I didn't miss her on the "Women of SNL" special a few weeks ago.

Wait wait wait. It's actually THAT Victoria Jackson? I just assumed it was some idiot with the same name.

Seriously, Lorne, what did you DO to her?

Apparently crazy runs in the family.  Julia Sweeney said she was always on the verge of going off the cliff.


I remember Julia telling a story about listening in on a huge argument between Victoria Jackson and Al Franken over Universal Health Care. She summarized it as:

"Victoria, you as a Christian, should wanthealth care for everybody."
"Noooooo. If people die sooner, they get to Jesus faster."

And that point, he stormed off and never spoke to her again.

I would have said, "then why are you against abortions? That's putting unborn babies on the super express train to Jesus."
2014-06-20 04:27:53 PM  
1 votes:

The Larch: Obama's Reptiloid Master: The Larch: his gives her a social group that accepts her for what she is.

That's a funny way of saying "reinforces the delusional mental state to grift money off of impressionable people."

She's insane. Anything that postpones the day when she finds herself living in a cardboard box and yelling at squirrels is a good thing. If this tea party crap helps keep her deal with her problems, I'm happy for her.


Finding a group of like-minded crazy people is not necessarily a bad thing.  However, when the crazy people start organizing politically in order to impose their crazy on the rest of us, something has gone horribly wrong.
2014-06-20 03:31:52 PM  
1 votes:

rjakobi: BunkyBrewman: That reminds me, I didn't miss her on the "Women of SNL" special a few weeks ago.

Wait wait wait. It's actually THAT Victoria Jackson? I just assumed it was some idiot with the same name.

Seriously, Lorne, what did you DO to her?


Apparently crazy runs in the family.  Julia Sweeney said she was always on the verge of going off the cliff.
2014-06-20 02:27:32 PM  
1 votes:
This has got to be some kind of attempt at not just dethroning Andy Kaufman as the king of the long con, but to set a record that will stand for the rest of time.
2014-06-20 02:25:33 PM  
1 votes:
We live in a day and age of politics when nothing makes me go, "you gotta be kidding me".
2014-06-20 01:29:47 PM  
1 votes:

Diogenes: "Well," Buddy Kalb said, "I think you should vote for Victoria Jackson because she's a very serious-minded person - unlike her persona, which is just an act. She takes things very seriously, she's like a coin...on the other side, she's a very serious-minded person about this country, about politics, and the direction that we're going. So, you should vote for her because she's a very serious-minded person."

That HAS to be a euphemism of some sort.


Bless her heart.
 
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