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(Orlando Sentinel)   How embarrassing will it be to think that you're going to be known in prison as the guy who tried to kill someone with grits?   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 60
    More: Florida  
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2859 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2014 at 9:38 AM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-20 08:50:26 AM  
Police did not say what started the argument but a witness said it was over an insignificant issue.

Probably mentioned the grits were lumpy.
 
2014-06-20 09:00:15 AM  

Diogenes: Police did not say what started the argument but a witness said it was over an insignificant issue.

Probably mentioned the grits were lumpy.


It was over this woman:

i125.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-20 09:13:38 AM  

dittybopper: Diogenes: Police did not say what started the argument but a witness said it was over an insignificant issue.

Probably mentioned the grits were lumpy.

It was over this woman:

[i125.photobucket.com image 528x800]


That only makes it sadder.  Or funnier.

I can't tell with these Florida stories.
 
2014-06-20 09:31:16 AM  
i61.tinypic.com
Approves
 
2014-06-20 09:40:54 AM  
Were they magic grits
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-06-20 09:41:20 AM  
It would be far better be known as the man who HAD killed someone with grits.

Just sayin'.
 
2014-06-20 09:44:15 AM  
"Scalding Grits" is the name of my new Rockabilly Death Metal Band.
 
2014-06-20 09:46:14 AM  
Instant grits?
 
2014-06-20 09:46:48 AM  
True, grits can be painful..

moreclaremore.com
 
2014-06-20 09:47:36 AM  
What the hell is a grit?

(just kidding - grits are basically polenta as far as I can tell).
 
2014-06-20 09:48:23 AM  
pbs.twimg.com

Loves his mama, loves his PCP
 
2014-06-20 09:49:28 AM  

FumblingTowardsSanity: It would be far better be known as the man who HAD killed someone with grits.

Just sayin'.


Either way, do you want to piss off the guy who thought he could make breakfast the most important meal of a guy's autopsy AND managed to inflict enough damage to send a person to the hospital?
 
2014-06-20 09:52:07 AM  
Inaftermycousinvinniy.

/too slow today :(
 
2014-06-20 09:52:46 AM  
Depending on how done they were, that would be like lava.

Pass the cheese and shrimp.
 
2014-06-20 09:53:03 AM  

menschenfresser: What the hell is a grit?

(just kidding - grits are basically polenta as far as I can tell).


Yes, but in the analogous sense that diarrhea and turds are the same thing.
 
2014-06-20 09:54:00 AM  
www.newsofyesteryear.com
You gotta watch where you throw that thing!
 
2014-06-20 09:54:06 AM  
FumblingTowardsSanity

It would be far better be known as the man who HAD killed someone with grits.

Just sayin'.


Exactly.

"Hey, dog...don't fark with that one. Dude killed a man with grits. With GRITS, SON!"
 
2014-06-20 09:56:10 AM  
My dad is from Ohio... *loves* grits.

I never took to them... I'm a scrapple man all the way.
 
2014-06-20 09:56:24 AM  
Well they're sure as hell not going to let you work in the kitchen now, dumbfark
 
2014-06-20 09:56:33 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-20 09:57:23 AM  
i1138.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-20 09:58:54 AM  
The cafeteria downstairs serves grits on a daily basis.. I'm fairly sure the owner can be charged with attempted murder for that slop.
 
2014-06-20 10:04:10 AM  

MrBallou: [i61.tinypic.com image 266x152]
Approves


Came in for this
 
2014-06-20 10:08:07 AM  

FumblingTowardsSanity: It would be far better be known as the man who HAD killed someone with grits.

Just sayin'.


Yep. Especially if the prison cafeteria serves grits.
 
2014-06-20 10:10:00 AM  
I'm guessing grits will be off the menu in whatever prison this guy ends up in.
 
2014-06-20 10:10:23 AM  
Can't believe the law wants to charge this guy with attempted murder. If anything, in the south, you'd think they'd charge the victim of the assault for ruining a good batch of grits.
 
2014-06-20 10:10:36 AM  
Regular, creamy or al dente?
 
2014-06-20 10:12:10 AM  
I bet the Chinese food is terrible.

/Oh the ways I would disappoint Marisa Tomei...
 
2014-06-20 10:13:06 AM  

mentallo69: Were they magic grits


D'oh
 
2014-06-20 10:16:56 AM  

dryknife: Regular, creamy or al dente?


Are you sure about that five minutes?
 
2014-06-20 10:27:34 AM  
FTA: Holley warned Blacknell to stay away from his home. The next day, Blacknell was back.

It's Florida, stand your ground in play.
 
2014-06-20 10:28:18 AM  
Were they buttered?

/because that's shamefully stupid
//you have absolutely no traction with buttered items
///duh
 
2014-06-20 10:28:36 AM  

Wrath of Heaven: My dad is from Ohio... *loves* grits.

I never took to them... I'm a scrapple man all the way.


I've done Scrapple and Grits.  Not bad, but Home Fries work better for that particular "meat".
 
2014-06-20 10:29:11 AM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Loves his mama, loves his PCP


Are we making the distinction?
 
2014-06-20 10:30:48 AM  

Devil's Playground: FTA: Holley warned Blacknell to stay away from his home. The next day, Blacknell was back.

It's Florida, stand your ground in play.


That damned law is too broad as it is.  And now it's been expanded to include Stand Your Ground Corn?!  Ridiculous.
 
2014-06-20 10:32:05 AM  

H31N0US: Instant grits?


Came to ask this.
 
2014-06-20 10:32:29 AM  

menschenfresser: What the hell is a grit?

(just kidding - grits are basically polenta as far as I can tell).


Similar, but the corn is salted first.

Take corn, dry it, reconstitute it in salt water. That's hominy.

Dry it again and grind it, that's grits.
 
2014-06-20 10:35:27 AM  

dittybopper: Diogenes: Police did not say what started the argument but a witness said it was over an insignificant issue.

Probably mentioned the grits were lumpy.

It was over this woman:

[i125.photobucket.com image 528x800]


I always knew that woman was trouble.
 
2014-06-20 10:35:40 AM  
The argument ended in a pushing match outside Holley's home on King Cole Boulevard in southwest Orlando.

That street named after Nat or Old King?
 
2014-06-20 10:38:40 AM  
It can't possibly be worse than the guy who went to prison because he pirated "The Love Guru."
 
2014-06-20 10:39:16 AM  
I assume it would be way better for his prison-cred if he had succeeded. Instead of being the guy who killed with grits, you're the guy who tried to kill with grits, and failed. Even when they were scalding hot. Now, when he's in the cafeteria with his tray of grits, the other prisoners won't be as scared of him.
 
2014-06-20 10:42:23 AM  

vudukungfu: The argument ended in a pushing match outside Holley's home on King Cole Boulevard in southwest Orlando.

That street named after Nat or Old King?


Being that it's in Florida, you probably shouldn't rule out the slaw.
 
2014-06-20 10:46:41 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-20 10:53:54 AM  

Another Government Employee: Wrath of Heaven: My dad is from Ohio... *loves* grits.

I never took to them... I'm a scrapple man all the way.

I've done Scrapple and Grits.  Not bad, but Home Fries work better for that particular "meat".


Sign me up!
 
2014-06-20 11:04:24 AM  
Grits IS deadly.
 
2014-06-20 11:12:42 AM  

special20: Can't believe the law wants to charge this guy with attempted murder.


That is a bit much. They're probably hoping he pleads guilty to a major felony so they don't have try him for littering.
 
2014-06-20 11:42:02 AM  

H31N0US: Instant grits?


[scoffs]
No self respecting southerner uses instant grits.
 
2014-06-20 11:47:13 AM  
Worked in a Tyler Perry movie, so it must be true.
imageshack.com
 
2014-06-20 11:56:05 AM  
 
2014-06-20 12:06:20 PM  

vudukungfu: The argument ended in a pushing match outside Holley's home on King Cole Boulevard in southwest Orlando.

That street named after Nat or Old King?


It depends on which one was a Merry Old Soul...........
 
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