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(Guardian)   Britain's tourism minister says wannabe vacationers trapped in the country due to huge passport backlog take "staycations", under the motto "when life gives you lemons, you can always trust the government to come and shove them up your arse"   (theguardian.com) divider line 88
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2440 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2014 at 2:03 PM (5 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-20 03:32:21 PM

spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?


Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-06-20 03:33:35 PM

Whatchoo Talkinbout: Did you mean lemon party?
NSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFW
could be NSFW.
did I mention NSFW anywhere but government offices?
http://www.lemonparty.biz/


I fell for that one years ago. Pic of a guy holding up a big sign along a stretch of road in the States somewhere, and it read "Tired of High Gas Prices? Lemonparty.org"

Whoopsie
 
2014-06-20 03:47:05 PM
Well, the UK don't ID cards or be in the Schengen Area so they just make life more difficult for themselves. I am not even sure when the last time I needed my passport was, and I was in another country about a month ago.
 
2014-06-20 03:48:29 PM

dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?

Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 261x331]


Unless, of course, you're a Holocaust denier.
 
2014-06-20 03:52:08 PM
Took two weeks from time I mailed application to time I received my UK passport. Faster than when I got my US passport.

/gots nuthin
 
2014-06-20 03:53:40 PM

d23: This is a good enough excuse to break out the David Cameron memes...

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 300x168]

[s2.quickmeme.com image 550x408]

[d2ws0xxnnorfdo.cloudfront.net image 450x363]


1.bp.blogspot.com
www4.pictures.zimbio.com
pdhall.files.wordpress.com

ww2poster.co.uk
s380675827.websitehome.co.uk
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-06-20 03:57:14 PM
"If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)?" - Jack Handey
 
2014-06-20 03:57:15 PM

SovietCanuckistan: Whatchoo Talkinbout: Did you mean lemon party?
NSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFW
could be NSFW.
did I mention NSFW anywhere but government offices?
http://www.lemonparty.biz/

I fell for that one years ago. Pic of a guy holding up a big sign along a stretch of road in the States somewhere, and it read "Tired of High Gas Prices? Lemonparty.org"

Whoopsie


This one always gives me a chuckle:

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-06-20 03:59:58 PM
Just buy a ukulele and head for Blackpool.
 
2014-06-20 04:13:11 PM
Years ago I had a ton of vacation time and the boss came at me one day asking why I never took off etc. I always figured he would use any time I took off against me when promotions came around since he had done it to others. I told him I had no money, since I was trying to get ahead on bills and no place to go. He got a smug look on his face and suggested I take a staycation and then started going into how I should save money and I could go to Paris like him and his wife. I really wanted to jump across the table and choke him out.
 
2014-06-20 04:14:14 PM

dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?

Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 261x331]


Yes, if only there had been a law that required you to declare your Jews in the attic.

Whatever you say Clive Bundy. I'm sure you're considered the smart one amongst the other soveign citizens.
 
2014-06-20 04:16:04 PM
Head for the beach at Lime Regis because global warming will get to you long before the British Government gives a Fark about your problems.

You'll want to get a spot before the set out the palm trees.
 
2014-06-20 04:18:11 PM
Or is it Lyme Regis?

You know what would be a good name for a summer drink?

www.richardaustinimages.com
Before Global Warming

www.dorsetbeaches.co.uk
After Global Warming
 
2014-06-20 04:23:04 PM
Less "British hot" women outside of Britain?

Imokwiththis.jpg
 
2014-06-20 04:24:21 PM

d23: This is a good enough excuse to break out the David Cameron memes...

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 300x168]

[s2.quickmeme.com image 550x408]

[d2ws0xxnnorfdo.cloudfront.net image 450x363]


Ham-C3P0
 
2014-06-20 04:26:03 PM
The British public have demanded that lawmakers and politicians should take "Stay-raises"  in lieu of pay increases and benefit rises. (
 
2014-06-20 04:27:11 PM
That's not as annoying as the allegedly serious media using a word like "staycation". We don't even use one of the words it's derived from.

As Charlie Brooker said, anyone who uses words like that is a funt.
 
2014-06-20 04:27:30 PM

brantgoose: Or is it Lyme Regis?

You know what would be a good name for a summer drink?

[www.richardaustinimages.com image 800x407]
Before Global Warming

[www.dorsetbeaches.co.uk image 450x298]
After Global Warming


Lyme Regis is great if you like picking up random fossils off the beach.
 
2014-06-20 04:29:15 PM

spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?

Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 261x331]

Yes, if only there had been a law that required you to declare your Jews in the attic.

Whatever you say Clive Bundy. I'm sure you're considered the smart one amongst the other soveign citizens.


So you *ARE* a Holocaust denier.

If not one that denies it existed, at least one that denies that it could ever happen again.
 
2014-06-20 04:40:03 PM
What would you do if you did have your passport, hmm?
You'd go on holiday to Majorca, or some other sunny place, get royally burnt, the spend the rest of your time in a strange pub.

This way, you can avoid the burn, spend lots of time in a familiar pub, and probably sleep in your own bed.
And save money on air-fare.
 
2014-06-20 04:57:01 PM

dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?

Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 261x331]

Yes, if only there had been a law that required you to declare your Jews in the attic.

Whatever you say Clive Bundy. I'm sure you're considered the smart one amongst the other soveign citizens.

So you *ARE* a Holocaust denier.

If not one that denies it existed, at least one that denies that it could ever happen again.


No, but you're a moron.
 
2014-06-20 05:23:01 PM
I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get Mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!
 
2014-06-20 05:34:32 PM

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: dpzum1: spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

Illegal to not tell the government where you live...ha! no thanks!

So, you think that if the "government" came to you for some official reason, and wanted your current address...you could tell them to kiss off?  That's adorable.

I'll give you that "provide information to" is different than "register with"...but still: if they want to know, you're going to tell them.



cdn2.listsoplenty.com

"Ve haf vays of making you talk!"

Oh! Hehehehehe. YES! I mean no! I'm not saying anything you damn naz- hey, what's that lube for? OH MY GOD! HEHEHEHEHEHE YEEESSSSS! I mean No! Do your worst!
 
2014-06-20 06:31:31 PM
MythDragon:

somebody's a kinky mofo, ain't cha?
 
2014-06-20 06:35:02 PM

skinink: Take a vacation in your own country = vacation like an American.


It must suck for the Brits.  They used to own half the world and now you can drive from one end of the country to the other in a matter of hours.  They're roughly the same size as Idaho.  

It's not like they can go from one type of paradise to another with ease.  No wonder they all look so dour
 
2014-06-20 07:16:36 PM
This can't be true.  A documentary I saw a long time ago clearly demonstrated that lemons and other types of fruits are considered weapons in Britain.  There's no way their government would issue them all weapons.

images.huffingtonpost.com
 
2014-06-20 07:50:03 PM

Smeggy Smurf: skinink: Take a vacation in your own country = vacation like an American.

It must suck for the Brits.  They used to own half the world and now you can drive from one end of the country to the other in a matter of hours.  They're roughly the same size as Idaho.
It's not like they can go from one type of paradise to another with ease.  No wonder they all look so dour


Actually you can drive to France or Italy from England.
 
2014-06-20 08:26:34 PM

fusillade762: Smeggy Smurf: skinink: Take a vacation in your own country = vacation like an American.

It must suck for the Brits.  They used to own half the world and now you can drive from one end of the country to the other in a matter of hours.  They're roughly the same size as Idaho.
It's not like they can go from one type of paradise to another with ease.  No wonder they all look so dour

Actually you can drive to France or Italy from England.


Nah. They put your car on a train.
 
2014-06-20 09:04:53 PM

This text is now purple: spawn73: I hear they have palmtrees (something I'll check out for myself some day).

You can grow oranges in Denmark.

\Vancouver has palm trees, too.
\\Palms are actually pretty hardy.


img.fark.net
Scottish palm trees, they grow on the west coast.
 
2014-06-20 09:15:44 PM

ontariolightning: What a staycation may look like[i1.squidoocdn.com image 422x325]


You posted that particular pic, so maybe you are aware of this, but Brent Butt is credited with coining the term "staycation".

Staycation citation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Staycation
 
2014-06-20 09:42:24 PM

Ivo Shandor: Nogale: Or you could, you know, always have a valid passport.

I just renewed my Canadian one, and I had to hand in the old (still valid) one with the application. For about 6 weeks I had no passport.


Does Canada allow you to have two passports?  I keep two US passports along with my Ireland passport (father's citizenship) and German passport (mother's citizenship).  So I have up to 4 at any given time if I need.
 
2014-06-20 11:53:10 PM
The passport fee in New Zealand is $140 - about US$120, and you get it in at most 2 weeks (the last time I got one, it came in less than one week). It's a self-funding system, unless the fees in the  UK primarily serve as  a revenue mechanism, they should have more than enough money to resource a fast service, and <I>then</i> put any surplus from the fees into the government accounts.
 
2014-06-21 12:51:36 AM

spawn73: No, but you're a moron.


Well, since that statement is coming from someone who doesn't see how a government could possibly abuse a law that requires you to notify them where you live at all times, well, I'll take that as a compliment.
 
2014-06-21 01:05:35 AM

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: So, you think that if the "government" came to you for some official reason, and wanted your current address...you could tell them to kiss off?  That's adorable.

I'll give you that "provide information to" is different than "register with"...but still: if they want to know, you're going to tell them.


They have to *FIND* you first, which is the point of not telling them in the first place.

Not that they couldn't find me:  I own a house, so where I live is a matter of public record.  Plus, they've got my income tax records, etc., and of course my drivers license has my current address.

But if I chose to have a post office box two towns over and just pay cash for an apartment, I could do that.  Hell, the address on my drivers license was 2 years out of date before I changed it when I renewed it back then.


And if I wanted to pick up and move, really I wouldn't have to let the government know about it until it's time to file my taxes again.

But once you make it illegal to live somewhere without telling the government immediately that you've moved (or something like that), you enable some Reichsprogrammur to type this into their machine and get a convenient list:

select LAST_NAME,
       FIRST_NAME,
       ADDRESS_LINE1,
       ADDRESS_LINE2,
       CITY
  from VOLKS_TABLE
 where JUDEN_IND is not null;


We know how efficient the process can be when it used punch cards.  Imagine how efficient it would be with Oracle.
 
2014-06-21 02:45:55 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: ontariolightning

What a staycation may look like


Dear ontariolightning,

I hope this post card finds you well.
Thank you for making the reference
to that show. I'm having a great time
here. See you when I get back!

Regards,

Brent Englebert


Dear Englebert.

I can't wait for the Corner Gas movie.
I wish you could hear me.
I am screaming like a little girl.

Sincerely Ontariolightning
 
2014-06-21 08:28:13 AM
True, there are some beautifully places to visit in England. Weston for example, is so exotic, it's like the Costa Brava of the UK.
/said through gritted teeth as too broke to go abroad anyway
 
2014-06-21 10:54:30 AM

bekovich: True, there are some beautifully places to visit in England. Weston for example, is so exotic, it's like the Costa Brava of the UK.
/said through gritted teeth as too broke to go abroad anyway



There's always Skeggy if Weston gets too racy.
 
2014-06-21 12:16:10 PM

dittybopper: spawn73: No, but you're a moron.

Well, since that statement is coming from someone who doesn't see how a government could possibly abuse a law that requires you to notify them where you live at all times, well, I'll take that as a compliment.


Don't take it as one. You're really stupid.
 
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