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(Guardian)   Britain's tourism minister says wannabe vacationers trapped in the country due to huge passport backlog take "staycations", under the motto "when life gives you lemons, you can always trust the government to come and shove them up your arse"   (theguardian.com) divider line 88
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2490 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2014 at 2:03 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-20 01:12:50 PM  
img.youtube.com

Yes, well, they do that, benders.
 
2014-06-20 02:05:10 PM  
Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?
 
2014-06-20 02:05:24 PM  
It's a good thing then that life never gives you Jack fruits.
 
2014-06-20 02:06:03 PM  
That's a pretty good motto.
 
2014-06-20 02:06:18 PM  
"when life gives you lemons pickles, you can always trust the government to come and shove them up your arse"
 
2014-06-20 02:06:18 PM  
I think there's a lot to be said for the 'staycation'.

Sure. If you live somewhere worth visiting. These poor limey bastards live in England.
 
2014-06-20 02:06:49 PM  
In before "Lay back and think of England"
 
2014-06-20 02:07:00 PM  

BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?


I know right? What are they, American or something?
 
2014-06-20 02:10:16 PM  

Resident Muslim: In before "Lay back and think of England"


Daily Fail made some articles about that.
 
2014-06-20 02:10:55 PM  
Or you could, you know, always have a valid passport.
 
2014-06-20 02:13:53 PM  
Isn`t it in the international human rights that you have the right to return to your home country AND ALSO LEAVE IT

which America handily forgets in the case of Haiti for example...
 
2014-06-20 02:14:13 PM  

BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?


I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.
 
TWX
2014-06-20 02:15:28 PM  

BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?


I was wondering the same thing. My now-wife strongly encouraged me to get mine not long after we met and started dating, and it's coming up for renewal in a couple of years. It was a few years before I actually needed it, but I have used it three times now.

The United States is big enough that it's easy to experience a lot of differences in geography and even in culture without needing a passport, but the UK is small enough that I guess I figured that passports were damn near ubiquitous there. The island is only about 600 miles wide at its widest point.
 
2014-06-20 02:19:20 PM  
Had to google cheeky sod. That cheeky sod had no problem flying to Brazil.
 
2014-06-20 02:22:23 PM  

Nogale: Or you could, you know, always have a valid passport.


I just renewed my Canadian one, and I had to hand in the old (still valid) one with the application. For about 6 weeks I had no passport.
 
2014-06-20 02:23:11 PM  
img.fark.net
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-06-20 02:23:44 PM  
This is a good enough excuse to break out the David Cameron memes...

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

s2.quickmeme.com

d2ws0xxnnorfdo.cloudfront.net
 
2014-06-20 02:25:07 PM  

spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.


Illegal to not tell the government where you live...ha! no thanks!
 
2014-06-20 02:25:27 PM  
What a staycation may look likei1.squidoocdn.com
 
2014-06-20 02:25:28 PM  
So, lemon partycation?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-06-20 02:25:41 PM  

H31N0US: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I know right? What are they, American or something?


We saved yer ass in WWII

static.tvtropes.org
 
2014-06-20 02:26:09 PM  

BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?


While the article utterly fails to disclose the current wait time, the comments make it sound like the backlog is about half a year if not more.  Hardly last minute.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-06-20 02:27:10 PM  

dpzum1: spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

Illegal to not tell the government where you live...ha! no thanks!


OMG! SOCIZALISM!
 
2014-06-20 02:31:55 PM  
Could always go to Scotland, since it's still the same country and such.
 
2014-06-20 02:35:24 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-20 02:36:40 PM  
opencondomstore.com
 
2014-06-20 02:38:35 PM  
I don't know if this exists in the U.K., but in the U.S. I've seen the occasional ad for a "rush passport" service, in case you need to travel outside the country, you didn't (or couldn't) plan a few months ahead, and you're willing to pay someone extra to get a passport more quickly.

As for me, I applied for a passport about a year before I knew I was going to need it, just to be absolutely sure.  And I used the State Department website to fill out all the paperwork at home, so when I took it to the acceptance facility (a nearby post office) I had everything submitted in about five minutes.
 
2014-06-20 02:39:30 PM  

spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.


I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.
 
2014-06-20 02:45:53 PM  
Did you mean lemon party?
NSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFW
could be NSFW.
did I mention NSFW anywhere but government offices?
http://www.lemonparty.biz/
 
2014-06-20 02:46:29 PM  

H31N0US: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I know right? What are they, American or something?


If you expedite a US passport you can get it in about a week. I used to work in a congressional office and sometimes the turn around was three days.
 
2014-06-20 02:52:14 PM  

dpzum1: spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

Illegal to not tell the government where you live...ha! no thanks!


So, you think that if the "government" came to you for some official reason, and wanted your current address...you could tell them to kiss off?  That's adorable.

I'll give you that "provide information to" is different than "register with"...but still: if they want to know, you're going to tell them.
 
2014-06-20 03:02:05 PM  
spawn73:


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything,

Flippant comment aside, you're partly right. A lot of the backlog has been caused by those applying for passports asking for them to be delivered to a different address to their declared address.

As for Staycations, that's pretty much what we've done for the last decade, and if you do your research beforehand, you can have a jolly nice time a few hours' drive from home. You don't have to go to the named resorts and spend a shiatload of money to be able to say you've 'been somewhere'. Just getting away from home and work is enough for me

Course, next year, Disneyland
 
2014-06-20 03:04:28 PM  

ontariolightning


What a staycation may look like


Dear ontariolightning,

I hope this post card finds you well.
Thank you for making the reference
to that show. I'm having a great time
here. See you when I get back!

Regards,

Brent Englebert
 
2014-06-20 03:04:49 PM  
On the upside, they didn't really miss anything worth seeing in Brazil.
 
2014-06-20 03:04:57 PM  

anfrind: I don't know if this exists in the U.K., but in the U.S. I've seen the occasional ad for a "rush passport" service, in case you need to travel outside the country, you didn't (or couldn't) plan a few months ahead, and you're willing to pay someone extra to get a passport more quickly.

As for me, I applied for a passport about a year before I knew I was going to need it, just to be absolutely sure.  And I used the State Department website to fill out all the paperwork at home, so when I took it to the acceptance facility (a nearby post office) I had everything submitted in about five minutes.


Here ya go:  http://www.gov.uk/get-a-passport-urgently

You've got to get off your ass and go to one of the main passport offices. But you can usually get a uk passport damn quick. I've never heard of anyone waiting the three weeks quoted for an appointment.
 
2014-06-20 03:06:23 PM  

spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.


It helps that you only have about 5 million people.
 
2014-06-20 03:06:29 PM  

ontariolightning: What a staycation may look like[i1.squidoocdn.com image 422x325]


Where's the lemon?
 
2014-06-20 03:08:56 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Nogale: Or you could, you know, always have a valid passport.

I just renewed my Canadian one, and I had to hand in the old (still valid) one with the application. For about 6 weeks I had no passport.


Which is why you do it in a timely manner and not a week before you go on vacation. Why does Canada, which is mostly empty space, take so damn long to process a passport?

I renewed my U.S. passport last year via a foreign consulate and the process took a week.
 
2014-06-20 03:09:20 PM  
I always liked "If God gives you lemons, find a new god".

spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.


Every country has an expedited service I reckon. I've gone to the UK passport office and gotten mine in an hour or so. It's nothing special.
 
2014-06-20 03:10:36 PM  
Take a vacation in your own country = vacation like an American.
 
2014-06-20 03:12:10 PM  

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: dpzum1: spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

Illegal to not tell the government where you live...ha! no thanks!

So, you think that if the "government" came to you for some official reason, and wanted your current address...you could tell them to kiss off?  That's adorable.


I've done this.

I'll give you that "provide information to" is different than "register with"...but still: if they want to know, you're going to tell them.

I laughed and said they didn't need to know where I lived, or my name, or whatever. And they got lost.

/I really don't like that PD
//they were looking for a punching bag and I wasn't about to have that problem again
 
2014-06-20 03:12:38 PM  
Hubby renewed this year. Got an appointment at the Durham passport office the same week, passport renewed in one day. New one sent to house within the week. #Londonproblems

Part of the problem here is the short 6 week summer break for schools which means everyone in the UK wants to go on their Thomsons flight to Lanzarote at the same freaking time.
 
2014-06-20 03:13:01 PM  

dpzum1: spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

Illegal to not tell the government where you live...ha! no thanks!


So how's the weather in Somalia.

Oh wait, I know that.
 
2014-06-20 03:14:31 PM  

dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.


It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?
 
2014-06-20 03:16:47 PM  

Stantz: spawn73:


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything,

Flippant comment aside, you're partly right. A lot of the backlog has been caused by those applying for passports asking for them to be delivered to a different address to their declared address.

As for Staycations, that's pretty much what we've done for the last decade, and if you do your research beforehand, you can have a jolly nice time a few hours' drive from home. You don't have to go to the named resorts and spend a shiatload of money to be able to say you've 'been somewhere'. Just getting away from home and work is enough for me

Course, next year, Disneyland


England is in many ways similar to Denmark. But fark yeah, I'd love to go to ie. Cornwall.

I hear they have palmtrees (something I'll check out for myself some day).


It doesn't really help the lady who bought and paid for a cruise ticket. Not the most imaginative vacation though.
 
2014-06-20 03:19:36 PM  
"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way..."
 
2014-06-20 03:19:41 PM  

spawn73: I hear they have palmtrees (something I'll check out for myself some day).


You can grow oranges in Denmark.

\Vancouver has palm trees, too.
\\Palms are actually pretty hardy.
 
2014-06-20 03:19:57 PM  

Slaxl: I always liked "If God gives you lemons, find a new god".

spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

Every country has an expedited service I reckon. I've gone to the UK passport office and gotten mine in an hour or so. It's nothing special.


Dunno what people are whining about then?

Wasn't expedited service in my case. All they do is take your photograph, print on the one page they laminate and then charge you the equivalent of 20UK pounds.

Obviously, such a thing only works if everyone doesn't suddenly decide they need a passport at once. Maybe that's the problem.

---

When I did that passport thing. I had two Turkish exchange students along (I was their assigned mentor from university), and they were flabergasted that you could do such a thing. I guess, well, I kinda knew, that Turkey is very different.
 
2014-06-20 03:20:44 PM  

FiggyPudding: Hubby renewed this year. Got an appointment at the Durham passport office the same week, passport renewed in one day. New one sent to house within the week. #Londonproblems

Part of the problem here is the short 6 week summer break for schools which means everyone in the UK wants to go on their Thomsons flight to Lanzarote at the same freaking time.


That might be a problem for finding good deals, but I assume your government offices work year-round, right? So people could renew their passports in November or February or whenever and have everything ready for the summer.
 
2014-06-20 03:28:46 PM  

Nogale: FiggyPudding: Hubby renewed this year. Got an appointment at the Durham passport office the same week, passport renewed in one day. New one sent to house within the week. #Londonproblems

Part of the problem here is the short 6 week summer break for schools which means everyone in the UK wants to go on their Thomsons flight to Lanzarote at the same freaking time.

That might be a problem for finding good deals, but I assume your government offices work year-round, right? So people could renew their passports in November or February or whenever and have everything ready for the summer.


That's just crazy talk
 
2014-06-20 03:32:21 PM  

spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?


Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-06-20 03:33:35 PM  

Whatchoo Talkinbout: Did you mean lemon party?
NSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFW
could be NSFW.
did I mention NSFW anywhere but government offices?
http://www.lemonparty.biz/


I fell for that one years ago. Pic of a guy holding up a big sign along a stretch of road in the States somewhere, and it read "Tired of High Gas Prices? Lemonparty.org"

Whoopsie
 
2014-06-20 03:47:05 PM  
Well, the UK don't ID cards or be in the Schengen Area so they just make life more difficult for themselves. I am not even sure when the last time I needed my passport was, and I was in another country about a month ago.
 
2014-06-20 03:48:29 PM  

dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?

Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 261x331]


Unless, of course, you're a Holocaust denier.
 
2014-06-20 03:52:08 PM  
Took two weeks from time I mailed application to time I received my UK passport. Faster than when I got my US passport.

/gots nuthin
 
2014-06-20 03:53:40 PM  

d23: This is a good enough excuse to break out the David Cameron memes...

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 300x168]

[s2.quickmeme.com image 550x408]

[d2ws0xxnnorfdo.cloudfront.net image 450x363]


1.bp.blogspot.com
www4.pictures.zimbio.com
pdhall.files.wordpress.com

ww2poster.co.uk
s380675827.websitehome.co.uk
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-06-20 03:57:14 PM  
"If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)?" - Jack Handey
 
2014-06-20 03:57:15 PM  

SovietCanuckistan: Whatchoo Talkinbout: Did you mean lemon party?
NSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFWNSFW
could be NSFW.
did I mention NSFW anywhere but government offices?
http://www.lemonparty.biz/

I fell for that one years ago. Pic of a guy holding up a big sign along a stretch of road in the States somewhere, and it read "Tired of High Gas Prices? Lemonparty.org"

Whoopsie


This one always gives me a chuckle:

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-06-20 03:59:58 PM  
Just buy a ukulele and head for Blackpool.
 
2014-06-20 04:13:11 PM  
Years ago I had a ton of vacation time and the boss came at me one day asking why I never took off etc. I always figured he would use any time I took off against me when promotions came around since he had done it to others. I told him I had no money, since I was trying to get ahead on bills and no place to go. He got a smug look on his face and suggested I take a staycation and then started going into how I should save money and I could go to Paris like him and his wife. I really wanted to jump across the table and choke him out.
 
2014-06-20 04:14:14 PM  

dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?

Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 261x331]


Yes, if only there had been a law that required you to declare your Jews in the attic.

Whatever you say Clive Bundy. I'm sure you're considered the smart one amongst the other soveign citizens.
 
2014-06-20 04:16:04 PM  
Head for the beach at Lime Regis because global warming will get to you long before the British Government gives a Fark about your problems.

You'll want to get a spot before the set out the palm trees.
 
2014-06-20 04:18:11 PM  
Or is it Lyme Regis?

You know what would be a good name for a summer drink?

www.richardaustinimages.com
Before Global Warming

www.dorsetbeaches.co.uk
After Global Warming
 
2014-06-20 04:23:04 PM  
Less "British hot" women outside of Britain?

Imokwiththis.jpg
 
2014-06-20 04:24:21 PM  

d23: This is a good enough excuse to break out the David Cameron memes...

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 300x168]

[s2.quickmeme.com image 550x408]

[d2ws0xxnnorfdo.cloudfront.net image 450x363]


Ham-C3P0
 
2014-06-20 04:26:03 PM  
The British public have demanded that lawmakers and politicians should take "Stay-raises"  in lieu of pay increases and benefit rises. (
 
2014-06-20 04:27:11 PM  
That's not as annoying as the allegedly serious media using a word like "staycation". We don't even use one of the words it's derived from.

As Charlie Brooker said, anyone who uses words like that is a funt.
 
2014-06-20 04:27:30 PM  

brantgoose: Or is it Lyme Regis?

You know what would be a good name for a summer drink?

[www.richardaustinimages.com image 800x407]
Before Global Warming

[www.dorsetbeaches.co.uk image 450x298]
After Global Warming


Lyme Regis is great if you like picking up random fossils off the beach.
 
2014-06-20 04:29:15 PM  

spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?

Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 261x331]

Yes, if only there had been a law that required you to declare your Jews in the attic.

Whatever you say Clive Bundy. I'm sure you're considered the smart one amongst the other soveign citizens.


So you *ARE* a Holocaust denier.

If not one that denies it existed, at least one that denies that it could ever happen again.
 
2014-06-20 04:40:03 PM  
What would you do if you did have your passport, hmm?
You'd go on holiday to Majorca, or some other sunny place, get royally burnt, the spend the rest of your time in a strange pub.

This way, you can avoid the burn, spend lots of time in a familiar pub, and probably sleep in your own bed.
And save money on air-fare.
 
2014-06-20 04:57:01 PM  

dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: dittybopper: spawn73: its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

I realize Denmark was a rather unique case among the countries that were occupied by the Germans during WWII, but as a general principle, a law like that doesn't pass the "Jews in the attic" test.

It passes the examples given.

But who really cares about a test written by nutjobs?

Because sometimes, it's a valid test:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 261x331]

Yes, if only there had been a law that required you to declare your Jews in the attic.

Whatever you say Clive Bundy. I'm sure you're considered the smart one amongst the other soveign citizens.

So you *ARE* a Holocaust denier.

If not one that denies it existed, at least one that denies that it could ever happen again.


No, but you're a moron.
 
2014-06-20 05:23:01 PM  
I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get Mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!
 
2014-06-20 05:34:32 PM  

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: dpzum1: spawn73: BalugaJoe: Why do you wait till the last minute to get your passport?

I did that once.

From applying to having it my hand took 20 minutes.


Of course, England doesn't have a clue who lives there, so they have to double check everything, vs. me, I just produced my government medical card, that everyone gets in the mail, since its illegal to not tell the government where you live.

/Denmark.

Illegal to not tell the government where you live...ha! no thanks!

So, you think that if the "government" came to you for some official reason, and wanted your current address...you could tell them to kiss off?  That's adorable.

I'll give you that "provide information to" is different than "register with"...but still: if they want to know, you're going to tell them.



cdn2.listsoplenty.com

"Ve haf vays of making you talk!"

Oh! Hehehehehe. YES! I mean no! I'm not saying anything you damn naz- hey, what's that lube for? OH MY GOD! HEHEHEHEHEHE YEEESSSSS! I mean No! Do your worst!
 
2014-06-20 06:31:31 PM  
MythDragon:

somebody's a kinky mofo, ain't cha?
 
2014-06-20 06:35:02 PM  

skinink: Take a vacation in your own country = vacation like an American.


It must suck for the Brits.  They used to own half the world and now you can drive from one end of the country to the other in a matter of hours.  They're roughly the same size as Idaho.  

It's not like they can go from one type of paradise to another with ease.  No wonder they all look so dour
 
2014-06-20 07:16:36 PM  
This can't be true.  A documentary I saw a long time ago clearly demonstrated that lemons and other types of fruits are considered weapons in Britain.  There's no way their government would issue them all weapons.

images.huffingtonpost.com
 
2014-06-20 07:50:03 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: skinink: Take a vacation in your own country = vacation like an American.

It must suck for the Brits.  They used to own half the world and now you can drive from one end of the country to the other in a matter of hours.  They're roughly the same size as Idaho.
It's not like they can go from one type of paradise to another with ease.  No wonder they all look so dour


Actually you can drive to France or Italy from England.
 
2014-06-20 08:26:34 PM  

fusillade762: Smeggy Smurf: skinink: Take a vacation in your own country = vacation like an American.

It must suck for the Brits.  They used to own half the world and now you can drive from one end of the country to the other in a matter of hours.  They're roughly the same size as Idaho.
It's not like they can go from one type of paradise to another with ease.  No wonder they all look so dour

Actually you can drive to France or Italy from England.


Nah. They put your car on a train.
 
2014-06-20 09:04:53 PM  

This text is now purple: spawn73: I hear they have palmtrees (something I'll check out for myself some day).

You can grow oranges in Denmark.

\Vancouver has palm trees, too.
\\Palms are actually pretty hardy.


img.fark.net
Scottish palm trees, they grow on the west coast.
 
2014-06-20 09:15:44 PM  

ontariolightning: What a staycation may look like[i1.squidoocdn.com image 422x325]


You posted that particular pic, so maybe you are aware of this, but Brent Butt is credited with coining the term "staycation".

Staycation citation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Staycation
 
2014-06-20 09:42:24 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Nogale: Or you could, you know, always have a valid passport.

I just renewed my Canadian one, and I had to hand in the old (still valid) one with the application. For about 6 weeks I had no passport.


Does Canada allow you to have two passports?  I keep two US passports along with my Ireland passport (father's citizenship) and German passport (mother's citizenship).  So I have up to 4 at any given time if I need.
 
2014-06-20 11:53:10 PM  
The passport fee in New Zealand is $140 - about US$120, and you get it in at most 2 weeks (the last time I got one, it came in less than one week). It's a self-funding system, unless the fees in the  UK primarily serve as  a revenue mechanism, they should have more than enough money to resource a fast service, and <I>then</i> put any surplus from the fees into the government accounts.
 
2014-06-21 12:51:36 AM  

spawn73: No, but you're a moron.


Well, since that statement is coming from someone who doesn't see how a government could possibly abuse a law that requires you to notify them where you live at all times, well, I'll take that as a compliment.
 
2014-06-21 01:05:35 AM  

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: So, you think that if the "government" came to you for some official reason, and wanted your current address...you could tell them to kiss off?  That's adorable.

I'll give you that "provide information to" is different than "register with"...but still: if they want to know, you're going to tell them.


They have to *FIND* you first, which is the point of not telling them in the first place.

Not that they couldn't find me:  I own a house, so where I live is a matter of public record.  Plus, they've got my income tax records, etc., and of course my drivers license has my current address.

But if I chose to have a post office box two towns over and just pay cash for an apartment, I could do that.  Hell, the address on my drivers license was 2 years out of date before I changed it when I renewed it back then.


And if I wanted to pick up and move, really I wouldn't have to let the government know about it until it's time to file my taxes again.

But once you make it illegal to live somewhere without telling the government immediately that you've moved (or something like that), you enable some Reichsprogrammur to type this into their machine and get a convenient list:

select LAST_NAME,
       FIRST_NAME,
       ADDRESS_LINE1,
       ADDRESS_LINE2,
       CITY
  from VOLKS_TABLE
 where JUDEN_IND is not null;


We know how efficient the process can be when it used punch cards.  Imagine how efficient it would be with Oracle.
 
2014-06-21 02:45:55 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: ontariolightning

What a staycation may look like


Dear ontariolightning,

I hope this post card finds you well.
Thank you for making the reference
to that show. I'm having a great time
here. See you when I get back!

Regards,

Brent Englebert


Dear Englebert.

I can't wait for the Corner Gas movie.
I wish you could hear me.
I am screaming like a little girl.

Sincerely Ontariolightning
 
2014-06-21 08:28:13 AM  
True, there are some beautifully places to visit in England. Weston for example, is so exotic, it's like the Costa Brava of the UK.
/said through gritted teeth as too broke to go abroad anyway
 
2014-06-21 10:54:30 AM  

bekovich: True, there are some beautifully places to visit in England. Weston for example, is so exotic, it's like the Costa Brava of the UK.
/said through gritted teeth as too broke to go abroad anyway



There's always Skeggy if Weston gets too racy.
 
2014-06-21 12:16:10 PM  

dittybopper: spawn73: No, but you're a moron.

Well, since that statement is coming from someone who doesn't see how a government could possibly abuse a law that requires you to notify them where you live at all times, well, I'll take that as a compliment.


Don't take it as one. You're really stupid.
 
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