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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)   Doomsday prepper lured out of hiding with cheeseburger   (tampabay.com ) divider line
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7165 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2014 at 7:52 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-19 04:56:03 PM  
Hah! When prepping, please remember to store food as well as firearms/cartridges. I guess he didn't have enough time to... prep?

"Federal authorities say Winters, 55, leads a group known as the River Otter Preppers that advocates survival preparations in advance of an end-times event foretold in the Bible's Book of Revelation."
Wait, if God wanted you to survive, he would make it so. If he wanted you dead, who are you to deny his divine plan?

/I'm more interested in prepping some solar power, batteries, water filtration and the like...
 
2014-06-19 06:22:48 PM  
Hold the pickles,
Hold the lettuce.
without bail,
does not upset us.
 
2014-06-19 06:28:08 PM  
his face rimmed by a Zeus-like mane of churning black and white curls.

Writing for your newspaper job is not a good time to practice for your fantasy novel, guys
 
2014-06-19 07:56:46 PM  
The Negotiators:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-19 07:57:34 PM  

Percise1: Hah! When prepping, please remember to store food as well as firearms/cartridges. I guess he didn't have enough time to... prep?


I have about 6 months food stored in the house.

My doomsday scenario is the post nuclear collapse of world order ending up unemployed.
 
2014-06-19 07:59:16 PM  

Roook: his face rimmed by a Zeus-like mane of churning black and white curls.

Writing for your newspaper job is not a good time to practice for your fantasy novel, guys


The photo of him was quite a let-down after reading that.
 
2014-06-19 07:59:23 PM  
Only living in America.
 
2014-06-19 08:01:55 PM  

Percise1: Hah! When prepping, please remember to store food as well as firearms/cartridges. I guess he didn't have enough time to... prep?

"Federal authorities say Winters, 55, leads a group known as the River Otter Preppers that advocates survival preparations in advance of an end-times event foretold in the Bible's Book of Revelation."
Wait, if God wanted you to survive, he would make it so. If he wanted you dead, who are you to deny his divine plan?

/I'm more interested in prepping some solar power, batteries, water filtration and the like...


Why would anyone let people know they are a prepper? If things go south you would be the first target for looting.
 
2014-06-19 08:03:16 PM  

chookbillion: Roook: his face rimmed by a Zeus-like mane of churning black and white curls.

Writing for your newspaper job is not a good time to practice for your fantasy novel, guys

The photo of him was quite a let-down after reading that.


Because '... wearing the same lame, scraggly beard seen on every ironic hipster, Duck Dynasty fan and lazy slob in America' just doesn't sound as snappy?
 
2014-06-19 08:06:44 PM  
Well! I see the jackbooted thugs of the Gestapo acted in their typical fashion, negotiating with a defense lawyer to obtain the peaceful surrender of a suspect, who was then read his Constitutional rights and treated with humanity and decency. It's exactly like Nazi Germany, EXACTLY. Thanks, Obama!
 
2014-06-19 08:08:49 PM  
He's a prepper, she's a prepper, wouldn't you like to be a prepper too?
 
2014-06-19 08:10:08 PM  

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Percise1: Hah! When prepping, please remember to store food as well as firearms/cartridges. I guess he didn't have enough time to... prep?

"Federal authorities say Winters, 55, leads a group known as the River Otter Preppers that advocates survival preparations in advance of an end-times event foretold in the Bible's Book of Revelation."
Wait, if God wanted you to survive, he would make it so. If he wanted you dead, who are you to deny his divine plan?

/I'm more interested in prepping some solar power, batteries, water filtration and the like...

Why would anyone let people know they are a prepper? If things go south you would be the first target for looting.


Winner, winner MRI dinner! This!
Survival means keeping your head down while the micro-dicks and Rambo fetishists duke it out in some RenFair-ish post apocalyptic cosplay convention.
 
2014-06-19 08:12:54 PM  

redsquid: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Percise1: Hah! When prepping, please remember to store food as well as firearms/cartridges. I guess he didn't have enough time to... prep?

"Federal authorities say Winters, 55, leads a group known as the River Otter Preppers that advocates survival preparations in advance of an end-times event foretold in the Bible's Book of Revelation."
Wait, if God wanted you to survive, he would make it so. If he wanted you dead, who are you to deny his divine plan?

/I'm more interested in prepping some solar power, batteries, water filtration and the like...

Why would anyone let people know they are a prepper? If things go south you would be the first target for looting.

Winner, winner MRI dinner! This!
Survival means keeping your head down while the micro-dicks and Rambo fetishists duke it out in some RenFair-ish post apocalyptic cosplay convention.


Actually, no prepper will survive on his or her own. The people who will survive are the charming, charismatic types who can most quickly organize a group of 30 or so people, plus the members of said group, who can then pick off the most prepared prepper with ease. If you're lucky, prepper, they might recruit you into the group when they take your stuff. Don't be a dick about it, is my advice.
 
2014-06-19 08:15:49 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-19 08:16:17 PM  
I guess he can has.

/sorry
//no I'm not
 
2014-06-19 08:16:54 PM  

Roook: his face rimmed by a Zeus-like mane of churning black and white curls.

Writing for your newspaper job is not a good time to practice for your fantasy novel, guys


That was pretty much my first thought when I read that sentence - little bit too Creative Writing 1.0 tryhard

But then I figured it's at least better than some of the auto-journalism that gets churned out
 
2014-06-19 08:17:23 PM  

You... are not prepared.

Huh. For someone that led a group that's hoping for the End Times, stockpiling weapons & ammo, and threatening to go all Ruby Ridge on folks, he went down like a pussy. "I'm cold, and wet, and I haven't eaten in two days - give me a cheeseburger and send me to prison!"

This. This is how I imagine such "preppers" to be - a lot of talk and bluster, but when it comes down to actually preparing for and surviving a traumatic situation, it takes just a couple of days before they roll over and present themselves like a submissive gimp to whomever promises them food and safety. Being prepared isn't about buying stuff. It's about having the will to do what must be done and the fortitude to deal with the situation until you can do it.
 
2014-06-19 08:20:33 PM  
Why are so many "wilderness survivalists" always so f*cking bad at surviving in the wilderness?
 
2014-06-19 08:27:31 PM  
Was he told there would be Cheeseburgers in Paradise?
 
2014-06-19 08:27:57 PM  

FormlessOne: "I'm cold, and wet, and I haven't eaten in two days - give me a cheeseburger and send me to prison!"


sigdiamond2000: Why are so many "wilderness survivalists" always so f*cking bad at surviving in the wilderness?


I live in the area and we've had mild temperatures with scattered showers. I've camped in far worse for much longer and loved it. This guy is a 'survivalist' the way a 20 year old nerd in a robe is a 'wizard'.
 
2014-06-19 08:30:45 PM  
The Doomsday Sous Chef is still out there!

And I had only ordered a small fries and small coke in the drive through.  I was home safe. Case closed. But there was a Big Mac box in the bag.  "What's in the box!?!" I scream unable to take my foot off the brake. "Don't look" says Detective Freeman, so I have too look.  The head of Mayor McCheese was in there, flattened like a paper napkin.  And that's when I knew the murderer was Grimace.  Everyone in the department thought it was the Hamburgler, but he doesn't deal with cheese burgers.
 
2014-06-19 08:31:06 PM  

LazyMedia: redsquid: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Percise1: Hah! When prepping, please remember to store food as well as firearms/cartridges. I guess he didn't have enough time to... prep?

"Federal authorities say Winters, 55, leads a group known as the River Otter Preppers that advocates survival preparations in advance of an end-times event foretold in the Bible's Book of Revelation."
Wait, if God wanted you to survive, he would make it so. If he wanted you dead, who are you to deny his divine plan?

/I'm more interested in prepping some solar power, batteries, water filtration and the like...

Why would anyone let people know they are a prepper? If things go south you would be the first target for looting.

Winner, winner MRI dinner! This!
Survival means keeping your head down while the micro-dicks and Rambo fetishists duke it out in some RenFair-ish post apocalyptic cosplay convention.

Actually, no prepper will survive on his or her own. The people who will survive are the charming, charismatic types who can most quickly organize a group of 30 or so people, plus the members of said group, who can then pick off the most prepared prepper with ease. If you're lucky, prepper, they might recruit you into the group when they take your stuff. Don't be a dick about it, is my advice.


If you look at what happened in the early 2000 when the Argentinian government effectively collapsed, the people who stayed in the cities survived much better. The people who went out into the rainforest to their compounds not so much.
/Turns out that Drug runners don't care for property rights.
// Government agents are still stumbling across failed compounds, sometimes with the murdered occupants still in them,
 
2014-06-19 08:31:40 PM  
Eric Rudolph is not impressed.
 
2014-06-19 08:31:41 PM  
The first part of preparing for the blackwater plumbing being rerouted into the ventilators is to not be in Florida. Hurricanes, tropical diseases, inedibly old masses.
 
2014-06-19 08:32:27 PM  

LazyMedia: Actually, no prepper will survive on his or her own. The people who will survive are the charming, charismatic types who can most quickly organize a group of 30 or so people, plus the members of said group, who can then pick off the most prepared prepper with ease. If you're lucky, prepper, they might recruit you into the group when they take your stuff. Don't be a dick about it, is my advice.


This. There are no lone wolves. A single wolf will die of starvation. The human species exists in tribes, for the exact same reason.
 
2014-06-19 08:36:23 PM  

Reeeed Robin!

 
2014-06-19 08:36:30 PM  

thatboyoverthere: If you look at what happened in the early 2000 when the Argentinian government effectively collapsed, the people who stayed in the cities survived much better. The people who went out into the rainforest to their compounds not so much.
/Turns out that Drug runners don't care for property rights.
// Government agents are still stumbling across failed compounds, sometimes with the murdered occupants still in them


The collapse of society and brutal post apocalyptic anarchy are mostly literary creations. History shows that in periods of upheaval people tend to cooperate for mutual security. It's only in times of comfort that our fangs really come out. Not to say that there aren't a bunch of wannabe warlords who grew up watching Mad Max as some kind of training film, but I suspect they tend to be fantasists like this yahoo.
 
2014-06-19 08:37:41 PM  
Behold!

The power of cheese.
 
2014-06-19 08:43:35 PM  
I'm a Prepper
He's a Prepper
Wouldn't you like to be a Prepper, too?
 
2014-06-19 08:44:34 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Why are so many "wilderness survivalists" always so f*cking bad at surviving in the wilderness?


He was not a wilderness survival expert. He was a prepper. One is intelligent and creative. One watch faux news religiously.
 
2014-06-19 08:45:07 PM  
Well that was a surprise. I was expecting some young ivy-league looking guy. Now I know what a prepper is.
 
2014-06-19 08:46:27 PM  

redsquid: The collapse of society and brutal post apocalyptic anarchy are mostly literary creations


The examples of societal collapse depend on a shift from adequate to inadequate food resources, e.g. the Mayans. They were going along just swimmingly, with an ever-growing population producing a ton of food through intensive agriculture, and then had a few years of drought. Famine, war, population collapse ensued, and the cities went back to jungle, making it impossible to reorganize the society that had allowed that type of food production. You can have something devastating happen, like a volcanic eruption or a war, and you can rebuild as long as you're able to produce enough food. Run out of the ability to produce adequate food, though, and you're farked.
 
2014-06-19 08:46:37 PM  
...and a Diet Coke.
 
2014-06-19 08:46:39 PM  
Hillsborough County is like Florida's Florida... Florida²
 
2014-06-19 08:47:37 PM  
redsquid:
I live in the area and we've had mild temperatures with scattered showers. I've camped in far worse for much longer and loved it. This guy is a 'survivalist' the way a 20 year old nerd in a robe is a 'wizard'.

Magic-user
 
2014-06-19 08:47:52 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-19 08:50:44 PM  

redsquid: thatboyoverthere: If you look at what happened in the early 2000 when the Argentinian government effectively collapsed, the people who stayed in the cities survived much better. The people who went out into the rainforest to their compounds not so much.
/Turns out that Drug runners don't care for property rights.
// Government agents are still stumbling across failed compounds, sometimes with the murdered occupants still in them

The collapse of society and brutal post apocalyptic anarchy are mostly literary creations. History shows that in periods of upheaval people tend to cooperate for mutual security. It's only in times of comfort that our fangs really come out. Not to say that there aren't a bunch of wannabe warlords who grew up watching Mad Max as some kind of training film, but I suspect they tend to be fantasists like this yahoo.


This. All the bullshiat "libertarian" talk we've had to listen to for the last half century has been the product of ease, softness, affluence and the entitlement of the spoiled. When shiat gets real, Man only survives as Man by means of the collective.
 
2014-06-19 08:51:23 PM  

LazerFish: Hillsborough County Port St. Lucie/ Fort Pierce is like Florida's Florida... Florida²


Seriously.
 
2014-06-19 08:52:27 PM  

happydude45: Well that was a surprise. I was expecting some young ivy-league looking guy. Now I know what a prepper is.


The absence of a pink polo shirt with a popped collar is a dead giveaway.
 
2014-06-19 08:52:39 PM  

redsquid: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Percise1: Hah! When prepping, please remember to store food as well as firearms/cartridges. I guess he didn't have enough time to... prep?

"Federal authorities say Winters, 55, leads a group known as the River Otter Preppers that advocates survival preparations in advance of an end-times event foretold in the Bible's Book of Revelation."
Wait, if God wanted you to survive, he would make it so. If he wanted you dead, who are you to deny his divine plan?

/I'm more interested in prepping some solar power, batteries, water filtration and the like...

Why would anyone let people know they are a prepper? If things go south you would be the first target for looting.

Winner, winner MRI dinner! This!
Survival means keeping your head down while the micro-dicks and Rambo fetishists duke it out in some RenFair-ish post apocalyptic cosplay convention.


End of the World?

Hell, half of you look like food to me right now.

Have you seen the price of meat lately?
 
2014-06-19 08:53:06 PM  
I hope it tasted like rugged bootstraps.
 
2014-06-19 08:54:05 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-19 08:54:10 PM  
After watching that prepers show on TV I realized most of these clowns would be dead in a week. If they haven't accidentally shot themselves the loss Buger Kings would kill there will to live.
 
2014-06-19 08:55:36 PM  
The negotiator:

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-19 08:56:26 PM  

LazerFish: Hillsborough County is like Florida's Florida... Florida²


Florida²  = Twice the stupidity
 
2014-06-19 09:03:07 PM  
GUN NUT.
 
2014-06-19 09:03:41 PM  

Trance750: LazerFish: Hillsborough County is like Florida's Florida... Florida²

Florida²  = Twice the stupidity


If it was intentional it was funny, if it was unintentional then it's even funnier.
 
2014-06-19 09:04:35 PM  
Because Cheeseburger In A Can with Tactical Bacon tastes like Alpo.
 
2014-06-19 09:11:03 PM  

LazyMedia: redsquid: The collapse of society and brutal post apocalyptic anarchy are mostly literary creations

The examples of societal collapse depend on a shift from adequate to inadequate food resources, e.g. the Mayans. They were going along just swimmingly, with an ever-growing population producing a ton of food through intensive agriculture, and then had a few years of drought. Famine, war, population collapse ensued, and the cities went back to jungle, making it impossible to reorganize the society that had allowed that type of food production. You can have something devastating happen, like a volcanic eruption or a war, and you can rebuild as long as you're able to produce enough food. Run out of the ability to produce adequate food, though, and you're farked.


One of the most interesting theories I've heard about the collapse of Mayan civilization is that it was due in large part to the damage they did to their local environment.

It certainly helps put into perspective how damaging climate change will potentially be to modern society if we don't take the steps to reverse it.
 
2014-06-19 09:11:25 PM  

redsquid: Trance750: LazerFish: Hillsborough County is like Florida's Florida... Florida²

Florida²  = Twice the stupidity

If it was intentional it was funny, if it was unintentional then it's even funnier.


it could be that Florida's absolute value is one.
 
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