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(Mirror.co.uk)   Mortician forced to store corpse in her car overnight when body is determined to be too fat for the morgue   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 47
    More: Sick, fat  
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3995 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2014 at 8:56 PM (5 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-19 06:41:22 PM
I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.
 
2014-06-19 06:54:57 PM

Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.


Its basically combing science with a lot of art and social service. It is a pretty rewarding career.

I can't figure out why the director was taking a dead body to a hospital
 
2014-06-19 06:56:39 PM

Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.


Actually in a lot of places you have to get a bachelors before being accepted into an apprenticeship then are required to pass state licensing after doing that for a pretty lengthy time. Its a fairly high skill job.
 
2014-06-19 08:55:59 PM
They should have blown up the corpse with dynamite.  It works with whales.  Not well, tho'.
 
2014-06-19 08:58:39 PM
Used Hyundai Sonata. Only 12K miles! No accidents.
 
2014-06-19 08:59:19 PM

Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.


Every mortician I have ever met works in a family business. They've been doing it for generations. I guess if you grow up with it it's pretty normal.
 
2014-06-19 08:59:40 PM
The Mythbusters know your pain.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-19 09:00:08 PM
Apparently you can be homeless when you're dead.
Huh.
 
2014-06-19 09:06:35 PM
</CSB

Kid I grew up with was the son of a mortician. During the Summer, Billy worked with his dad. I don't know if he went into the business but our neighborhood was  strangely free of stray animals.

Pleasant guy but the strangest person I ever knew. I wonder what his Fark login is?

CSB/>
 
2014-06-19 09:07:05 PM

NickelP: I can't figure out why the director was taking a dead body to a hospital


Some small towns use the local funeral home to transport dead bodies to the morgue.
 
2014-06-19 09:08:10 PM
Cut him in half. Problem solved.
 
2014-06-19 09:08:54 PM
"My issue is if that was your father, mother, partner... you wouldn't want them refused entry into the mortuary."

Go be dead and fat somewhere else.
 
2014-06-19 09:10:24 PM

crotchgrabber: Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.

Every mortician I have ever met works in a family business. They've been doing it for generations. I guess if you grow up with it it's pretty normal.


This is largely changing for those under 35ish. The small guys are all getting bought out and a lot of people are goin into it with no real ties
 
2014-06-19 09:12:24 PM
Too Fat for the Morgue is the title of my unauthorized autobiography.
 
2014-06-19 09:15:12 PM

NickelP: Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.

Its basically combing science with a lot of art and social service. It is a pretty rewarding career.

I can't figure out why the director was taking a dead body to a hospital


Considering that they can make people going through the only thing on the Holmes-Rahe scale worth a score of 100 to smile, I bet it's pretty rewarding calming the waters and all.

Certain death events may trigger a trip to the morgue.  I'm not sure if it's nationwide but dying in a hotel in certain US states, even of natural causes, triggers a checkout by the morgue and possibly an autopsy.
 
2014-06-19 09:15:48 PM
The hospital brought a guy down to work once to weigh him on the truck scale.

he was too fat for the hospital scale so they had to use a truck scale. for trucks.

fat guy too. 475 if I remember right
 
2014-06-19 09:16:12 PM

Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-06-19 09:18:35 PM

Omahawg: The hospital brought a guy down to work once to weigh him on the truck scale.


Haha. We used to have a guy we took to Dialysis we would use the County Co-Op truck scale to weigh. We'd weigh the ambulance unloaded with us in it, then weight it again with the patient in it.

600 pounds.
 
2014-06-19 09:19:13 PM

SwiftFox: Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 316x378]


Yeah, that was her nickname.
 
2014-06-19 09:24:40 PM

SwiftFox: Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 316x378]


img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-19 09:28:46 PM

Harry_Seldon: SwiftFox: Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 316x378]

[img1.wikia.nocookie.net image 850x464]


fap
 
2014-06-19 09:32:38 PM

hardinparamedic: Omahawg: The hospital brought a guy down to work once to weigh him on the truck scale.

Haha. We used to have a guy we took to Dialysis we would use the County Co-Op truck scale to weigh. We'd weigh the ambulance unloaded with us in it, then weight it again with the patient in it.

600 pounds.


I know of one case where they had to cut dudes house apart then bury him in a septic tank
 
2014-06-19 09:35:26 PM
Why not just put ice in the hearse or is that too much weight added?
 
2014-06-19 09:38:08 PM
I've often wandered, with these people to fat to fit into a normal casket and such, why they just don't use liposuction to slim them down? If I was an obese person I'd have that written into my funeral arraignments.
 
2014-06-19 09:46:17 PM

crotchgrabber: Mugato: I think a legitimate question would be, why would anyone aspire to be a mortician? I know there's a lot of undesirable jobs out there that people have to at least some education to be a funeral director, it's not like it's some gig that a person with no marketable skills would have to take. I ask because I had an ex who wanted to be one. It's my fault for being into goths I suppose.

Every mortician I have ever met works in a family business. They've been doing it for generations. I guess if you grow up with it it's pretty normal.


ilarge.listal.com
Agrees.
 
2014-06-19 09:49:47 PM
was the funeral director hot?
 
2014-06-19 10:02:23 PM
Son, fat and dead is no way to go thru lif.... wait...never mind.
 
2014-06-19 10:07:41 PM

johndalek: was the funeral director hot?


i.dailymail.co.uk

i.dailymail.co.uk


I was wondering if it was her, but probably not.

/she give me rigor mortis
 
2014-06-19 10:32:28 PM
Why she check the body every thirty minutes? Just in case it reanimated? Did she lack machetes?
 
2014-06-19 10:50:57 PM

bekovich: Why she check the body every thirty minutes? Just in case it reanimated?


Just in case the engine (and thus, the AC) shut off.  That would be a bad scene all around.
 
2014-06-19 11:11:10 PM

HeartBurnKid: bekovich: Why she check the body every thirty minutes? Just in case it reanimated?

Just in case the engine (and thus, the AC) shut off.  That would be a bad scene all around.


Good thing I refreshed before posting.
 
2014-06-19 11:26:02 PM
It's links like this that bring me back to Fark day after day...
 
2014-06-19 11:50:44 PM
Go be fat dead somewhere else.
 
2014-06-20 12:02:10 AM
Heh, she had to fill the tank three times just to idle overnight.  What will those limeys do next.
 
2014-06-20 12:02:34 AM

ReapTheChaos: I've often wandered, with these people to fat to fit into a normal casket and such, why they just don't use liposuction to slim them down? If I was an obese person I'd have that written into my funeral arraignments.


When that happens, a custom casket has to be ordered.  I briefly worked at a cemetery/funeral home/mortuary many years ago in AR.  We had a situation where the deceased was so large, his parents had to use both of their plots they had purchased for themselves (side by side) to accommodate his casket.  It was brought to the gravesite on a flatbed truck.

/Sheesh
 
2014-06-20 01:23:00 AM

fugeeface: ReapTheChaos: I've often wandered, with these people to fat to fit into a normal casket and such, why they just don't use liposuction to slim them down? If I was an obese person I'd have that written into my funeral arraignments.

When that happens, a custom casket has to be ordered.  I briefly worked at a cemetery/funeral home/mortuary many years ago in AR.  We had a situation where the deceased was so large, his parents had to use both of their plots they had purchased for themselves (side by side) to accommodate his casket.  It was brought to the gravesite on a flatbed truck.

/Sheesh


At that point I'd think cremation would be preferable.
 
2014-06-20 01:36:44 AM

NickelP: hardinparamedic: Omahawg: 600 pounds.

I know of one case where they had to cut dudes house apart then bury him in a septic tank


images.sussexpublishers.netdna-cdn.com
 
2014-06-20 03:59:22 AM
We are the morgue. Resurrection is futile. You will be incinerated.
 
2014-06-20 08:29:55 AM

MechaPyx: fugeeface: ReapTheChaos: I've often wandered, with these people to fat to fit into a normal casket and such, why they just don't use liposuction to slim them down? If I was an obese person I'd have that written into my funeral arraignments.

When that happens, a custom casket has to be ordered.  I briefly worked at a cemetery/funeral home/mortuary many years ago in AR.  We had a situation where the deceased was so large, his parents had to use both of their plots they had purchased for themselves (side by side) to accommodate his casket.  It was brought to the gravesite on a flatbed truck.

/Sheesh

At that point I'd think cremation would be preferable.


And at the point you're too darn fatty-boombaladdy for the morgue, you're actually way too fatty-boombaladdy for crematoriums, too--most crematoria don't like to accept people over 300 lbs (and some not even those above 250) because there tends to be a lot of grease production and in general that large of a mass doesn't cremate well--assuming you can even get them into the cremation oven in the first place.  In fact, that much lard actually tends to create a fire hazard during the cremation process.

And for those unfamiliar with "stone" measurements, the person she held in her car was 440 lbs and there was a case of a nearly 600-pounder refused.  (This is even above and beyond the usual American Fatass, of note.)
 
2014-06-20 08:43:01 AM

ReapTheChaos: I've often wandered, with these people to fat to fit into a normal casket and such, why they just don't use liposuction to slim them down? If I was an obese person I'd have that written into my funeral arraignments.


Actually do you really need to keep anything other than the head and hands? That's pretty much all that is visible during viewings. Use a lightweight form in lieu of the body. It's always seemed wrong to me that so much Soylent Green is simply buried in the ground.
 
2014-06-20 09:56:54 AM

FoonFlake: It's links like this that bring me back to Fark day after day...


That and the snappy repartee.
 
2014-06-20 10:27:14 AM
"My issue is if that was your father, mother, partner... you wouldn't want them refused entry into the mortuary."

I sure as hell would! Now, if it were a dead body, that's another story entirely.

/a remains is not a person
//no seriously, just give it a stick to fend off the dogs and throw it over the wall
 
2014-06-20 10:46:15 AM
Maybe the funeral director could strike up a deal with a local butcher with a walk-in meat fridge/freezer that could be used for the corpses to hang around for a day or two.
 
2014-06-20 11:04:10 AM

cgraves67: Too Fat for the Morgue is the title of my unauthorized autobiography.


Well, make sure that you eat as much as you can and die somewhere that they can't fit you in the cooler. Better get to working on that book now.
 
2014-06-20 01:05:37 PM
Try working in the medial device industry, sooner or later you'll be driving around with parts of a corpse in the trunk of your rental car.

/had papers for transport
/was moving it to the MRI center to be scanned
/was a torso
 
2014-06-20 01:19:55 PM

Great Porn Dragon: MechaPyx: fugeeface: ReapTheChaos: I've often wandered, with these people to fat to fit into a normal casket and such, why they just don't use liposuction to slim them down? If I was an obese person I'd have that written into my funeral arraignments.

When that happens, a custom casket has to be ordered.  I briefly worked at a cemetery/funeral home/mortuary many years ago in AR.  We had a situation where the deceased was so large, his parents had to use both of their plots they had purchased for themselves (side by side) to accommodate his casket.  It was brought to the gravesite on a flatbed truck.

/Sheesh

At that point I'd think cremation would be preferable.

And at the point you're too darn fatty-boombaladdy for the morgue, you're actually way too fatty-boombaladdy for crematoriums, too--most crematoria don't like to accept people over 300 lbs (and some not even those above 250) because there tends to be a lot of grease production and in general that large of a mass doesn't cremate well--assuming you can even get them into the cremation oven in the first place.  In fact, that much lard actually tends to create a fire hazard during the cremation process.

And for those unfamiliar with "stone" measurements, the person she held in her car was 440 lbs and there was a case of a nearly 600-pounder refused.  (This is even above and beyond the usual American Fatass, of note.)


Viking funeral then.
 
2014-06-20 02:32:00 PM
We had a similar case back when I worked in a hospital. If I remember correctly, the corpse weighed over 800 pounds. We filled garbage bags with ice and packed them around him in his hospital bed. I had to heave back mounds of flesh to get ice bags into the hidden folds. The yeast smell was pretty horrifying. A local crematorium said they could take him if he was under certain dimensions, so we measured him. He was an inch over. I said "get me a scalpel, and I'll make him fit."

We lied to the crematorium instead.
 
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